Ripples in Red Water

Chapter 1.2: Recollection in Winter's Breeze

By: Empathic Soul

Disclaimer: Gravitation is not mine. Warning for this chapter…there is extreme angst and a bit of violence. You were forewarned so be a responsible reader, read at your own risk. Thank you. Please read and review again. I would really appreciate it and please read my other fics as well! Thank you again!

A hand ran itself from the soft golden locks of a certain writer facing his computer with utter annoyance. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it up as he leaned on the chair that he's been sitting on for six straight hours. But strange enough, he could not even smoke. His nerves are starting to get really strained and for one he threw it away.

There are actually two reasons for that. One is because of the stupid promise that he made to Shuichi that he would stop smoking in exchange for Shuichi to stop annoying him all the time. The boy kept his end of the bargain, and Yuki is trying his hard to keep his end too. He is a man of his word after all.

The second reason, related to the first, is that his mind is currently flooded with thoughts about his lover.

His eyes focused on the one thing that gave light to his otherwise dark empty room, his computer. This stupid laptop that did not have anything written on its word page. That's right, for 6 straight days, he was not able to write, and he's blaming it all to that stupid, baka, idiot, pink-haired rockstar that has been invading his thoughts lately. He grumbled under his breath. He somehow thought at first that the baka was giving him some private and personal space and SILENCE for one because he had a deadline in about a week from now. But he did not expect him to do it this well, that he would not even decide to show up once in the room and try to annoy him.

Yuki would usually hear at least a loud "Tadaima" everyday and then followed by another loud YUUUUUUKI with a pounce and a kiss. He showed a lot of annoyance on that habit of Shuichi when the baka is around because he would have himself hanged than to admit that it was something that he really endeared.

It was also those morning calls that Shuichi made that helped Yuki look forward towards the day with certain liveliness that he never felt before, even when he was young. The loud blaring greeting of "Ohaiyo" and "Ittekimasu" were something that he always did for him…he being the baka. Those were the times that Yuki usually had something written on his laptop.

But he would never admit it to the brat that he's actually the one that gives him all the inspiration that he needs in order to finish the paper, to continue doing his novels. He expected all of those.

But no! The baka seems to be doing a pretty good job, in fact GREAT job in trying to give him the silence that he always asked. He leaves early, and early means not giving Yuki his usual wake up call and a soft passionate kiss before he goes to NG to work on his latest recordings. Usually, Shuichi would call during lunch so that he could check on Yuki if he had eaten or not, but again none came from the so-called lover.

So he, being Yuki, thought that he was just too busy with his recording sessions particularly with a certain man with a gun. So he simply looked forward till the time he came barging in the door and greeted him in the evening. To his surprise, Shuichi would come home—late, and that means real late. He would arrive 1:00 in the morning, coming inside without much sound except for opening and closing doors. He would whisper a soft "Tadaima" and then proceed to his bedroom that Yuki finally gave him after so many days of persuasion not to mention positive reinforcement.

Yuki thought that it was somehow because of the increasing record sales of BAD LUCK that caused his usual disappearances. But when he called Tohma if the named band is still practicing, the president would end up negating the allegation. He even recalled the president saying that the band leaves at exactly 5:00 in the afternoon after starting at 10:00. Tohma mentioned something about Shuichi coming late for practice making their manager furious and worries, but then Shuichi comes up with two new songs enough to make people relax and suddenly lighten up.

Those were the events. But something in Yuki's mind has been bugging him. How can Shuichi be late for work and late for home when he goes to work early and is dismissed early?

He could still remember certain events on those days. But the event that he vividly remembers was the first time this all happened. It was that one fateful day that Tohma surprisingly offered Shuichi a ride home. When he opened the door, he did not expect that to the least, but knowing himself he failed to speak about his true emotions giving them only but a simple glare.

Tohma did not even flinch at the glare and merely stared back with a smile. But Shuichi ignored him completely and rushed to his room locking himself up until morning and then leaving the next day without another word. Tohma only left Yuki a word of advice to let Shuichi rest because the recording was a little hard that day. SO Yuki just shrugged and for the first time, actually listened to the man.

He could still hear Tohma's words echoing in his mind.

"K-san must have given him a hard time a while ago." Tohma smiled while sipping from the cup of coffee Yuki gave him. "Let him have some rest, maybe this would go away after a good night sleep."

"Hmph." Yuki's only reply was that and then Tohma bid him farewell after expressing his gratitude over the cup of coffee.

But that did not happen only once. It happened for the rest of the week. It peeved him off, NO! It pissed him off to let his lover do this to him. He made him who he should never be! Emotional! He made a firm resolve this time.

Before he shrugged it off, sleeping or simply staying in his office to stare at the blank screen. But today, Yuki will not sleep and sit everything out. He would know what is bothering the young man and would settle everything once and for all. He doubted it would be about him, he could not recall doing anything bad to the boy except for the usual "baka" and cold treatment. Yuki presumed that he would actually be used to it by now, two years of a relationship is not nothing!

But he bit back his tongue at what the thought. How could Shuichi be used to that cold treatment? Damn…

If Shuichi would leave…

Yeah, what would the great Yuki Eiri do?

If Shuichi would have decided that he had taken enough…

I wonder what you would feel…

If Shuichi felt as if he did not love him…

Would you finally tell him?

Would you wait for that time?

Would you wait until he's but a silhouette in the horizon?

Would you wait till he finally tells you…

Goodbye?

NO!

Yuki shook his head to clear it with such thoughts. The silence of the room is making his personal devils do their own chanting. But he knew they were right. He would not wait for the instance that the boy decided to finally leave him. He would act immediately to actually let the boy feel his love for him. Even if it means breaking down his barriers, at least that way he would not risk losing Shuichi due to his incapacity to express his feelings and his carelessness and cold treatment. And at least that way, he would not have regrets…

It's better to have loved than to have not loved at all…

Right?

I hope so.

He reclined once more on his chair as he looked around the empty room only stopping to look at the empty chair beside him. His resolve only strengthened. He stood up and headed towards the kitchen. If smoking would not buy time for him to waste while waiting for his lover, then probably a few cans of beers…perhaps a soda…would do as he would wait for the arrival of his partner.

Shuichi looked at his watch and was surprised to see that it was already fifteen minute before one in the morning. He was sure that Yuki would probably be sleeping at that time. He sighed, he missed his lover very much, but things should be set according to priorities. He probably would not have been that focused anyway.

Shuichi prepared to go back home. He stood up until he noticed several black hooded figures surrounding him. The usual instinct of Shuichi would have been fear and worry at being ambushed like this, but today, was different. Somewhere deep inside him, seems a bit too confident that he would be able to get out of this place alive.

And how was that, he did not know.

He simply tucked his hands in the pocket of his jacket and looked at the people that slowly walked towards him. He eyes then each, counting in the process.

Ten.

There were ten people there, he sighed, not this again.

"Hello Shindou Shuichi, It's been a long time since we last saw you." The supposed to be leader of the group stood forward letting the light bask into his features.

Shuichi saw that the man seemed to have a very muscular body contrary to his own skinny features, the man is pumped in short. Shuichi gathered that probably all of them are. But he did not care. He simply eyed the man in front of him making sure his reflexes and his own muscles would move efficiently id time would call it.

"How do you know me?" Shuichi asked seeing that the man stopped only an arm's length form him. There was a soft, sarcastic chuckle that came from the man after that.

"Who wouldn't know the most popular vocalist of BAD LUCK?" the man replied and Shuichi knew that there was so much sarcasm that bathed in those simple words. But he knew better than that. He started to play in his own game.

Two can play this game…Shuichi thought. He pulled out his hands from his pocket and playfully shrugged.

"Oh I'm sorry, wrong question. What do you want then? My autograph?"

The man laughed and Shuichi knew that he was simply playing with the game he started. Shuichi gave him a smirk and returned his hands in his pockets.

"Clean and smooth…but it would have been more simply if that would have been our objective in CORNERING you here." The man pocketed his hands as well as he stared at Shuichi who seemed to be ignoring his sudden change of voice, the voice of threat.

"I see. So what do you want? I hope it's not something concerning photography. You see, my hair seems to have been disheveled by this gentle breeze, I would not be able to accept any possible photo session." Shuichi ran a hand through his pink locks and smiled towards the people in front of them. He could have sworn that the man in front of him has started to show some signs of anger.

Shit, what could he be after…no correction…what could they be after?

"Stop playing games, Shindou." The man grumbled and then Shuichi knew that the game is over and that he finally for the man to become serious.

"You started it." Shuichi pointed out and the man suddenly raised his head to meet Shuichi's glaring amethyst ones trying to scare him out. Violet met black…

Oh boy and I thought I would come back home at 1:00…there goes that.

Instead of having fear, something in Shuichi's mind started to be uncovered. His eyes, that man's eyes looked familiar to Shuichi that he tried to dig up something in his mind that would tell him who this man is.

The man suddenly smirked thinking that Shuichi suddenly got scared of him. He slowly raised his right hand and all of a sudden, all the ten members including the leader rushed towards Shuichi with amazing speed. Usually Shuichi would have been intimidated, frightened of the situation and would start to scamper away. But this time, something in him was triggered.

He himself rushed towards the group easily eliminating the first people that attacked him. His arms swinging punches in different directions and his legs kicking the men in different areas that caused the people to stumble on the ground, unable to stand up. The ten men were easily broken down in a few minutes.

Shuichi stood there amaze towards his own movements and at the same time glared at the lone man, the presumed leader standing in the middle of the fallen bodies of his comrades.

Shuichi gazed down at his hands. He could hear his heart pounding frantically and by the way he punched and kicked those guys down, he was sure that it came naturally to his own instincts. But why? Why did those moves come natural? How come he felt like he could actually do more than that? And most importantly, why were several images flashing in his mind while he defended himself against his attackers a while ago?

Yes, images. There were so many images that came to his mind. Images of different people experiencing the same attacks that he did a while ago. The weird thing was, none of the people involved in the images were familiar.

Shuichi was too busy with his thoughts to hear the rushing footsteps of the man behind him. He was suddenly knocked back into reality when he heard the sound of crunching leaves. He quickly turned around and all that he saw was a glimpse of shining steel digging to his side as he attempted to move away. His blood smeared through his jacket and to his inner shirt.

Everything went in slow motion. Shuichi's eyes widened as suddenly all those that were forgotten, all those words that the man from NG Studios last Wednesday had said came flashing through him…

After that redhead, there was a flashing image of Yuki turning his back on him. Shuichi felt his heart stop at his throat. Shuichi seeing Yuki leaving him was enough to make him feel nauseous. He felt his head throbbing and his body slowly weakening.

Suddenly his hands went towards the man who stabbed him and he punched him to the ground completely knocking him out and at the same time yanking the knife out of his body. Blood steadily oozed out as he fell down to his knees. Everything was in so much confusion. He did not know anymore of what was happening. But one thing was sure, he was not to be caught dead in the park. He would not allow that, he still had much to live for.

He pulled himself up using the railing. He glanced around the place, there was only a small amount of blood that was on the ground, if there were any. Most of it was on his jacket and inner shirt anyway. But by the looks of this, he would easily catch the attention of people if he walked in the usual way towards home.

"Man, I'm in deep shit…" Shuichi muttered as he struggled to focus himself into going home.

He slowly took steps forward as he continued to push his handkerchief on the open wound that the knife dug through his skin. He looked straight forward and continued to walk even though he was in so much pain.

This would be numb in a while. I just hope I reach home…before I faint…Shuichi wished. He looked at the people that are sleeping on the ground and mumbled something incoherent about the worthlessness of some people.

Slowly but surely, with determination in his eyes he swore that he would reach home, even if it would kill him to do so.

Yuki looked at the digital clock in his room and saw that it was 1:45 already and Shuichi is not home yet. He lied back to his bed as he stared up at the ceiling as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

Could he have slept over to that guitarist friend of his? Yuki thought but countered it immediately remembering that Shuichi usually calls when he's going to sleep over and asks permission if he could.

But what could have been taking him so long to get home? Why is he late again, later than he had ever been in the past six days. He looked at the phone in his room and debated if he should call Hiro as of the moment just to try and see if Shuichi slept over.

He stared back at the ceiling again. Then back to the phone that seemed to be mocking him even if it did not really have a face or anything that would show it. He placed a hand over his aching head and gently massaged it.

Great, just great. That baka is starting to make me insane by thinking that telephones could mock people literally and not figuratively.

But then again, stubborn as he is, he simply decided to stare up at the ceiling or more like glared at the ceiling.

A few minutes passed and Yuki's ever precious and short patience is running out. His head twitched in anticipation for any moment his lover decided to finally come home. But every moment that he thought the door would open and there was none, it's starting to build huge amounts of frustration building anger in a degree beyond measure.

So Yuki finally decided to do the best thing. He rose up and took the 'mocking' phone into his hands and looked at it for a while until he finally decided to press the buttons.

"Call…" Yuki mumbled as he quickly took the phone once more and grabbed the telephone directory that was beside it. He glanced quickly at the list and saw Hiro Nakano. Hw quickly dialed the number and heard it ring on the other side.

Yuki waited for a few rings until a disgruntled voice answered the phone with anyone.

"Shuichi, do you know what time it is? We still have work tomorrow so don't start bugging me!" Hiro's voice muttered and Yuki had the urge to shout at the boy but thought it twice. He decided against it and started to reply.

"Do you know where the idiot is?" Yuki asked directly and he could tell the man on the other side seemed rather perturbed with having a different voice talking to him instead of the blabber mouthed pink hair vocalist and best friend of his.

"Yuki?" Hiro asked first unsure and suddenly awake. Why would the man call?

"Who else?" Yuki gave an annoyed answer while running his hand through his hair and did a quick look at the watch in his room. 2:00, where is he?

"Sorry, but why are you asking me about Shuichi? He should be with you, shouldn't he?" Hiro sat on the chair beside his telephone and placed the phone on the crook of his neck whence he started to stretch a little.

"I wouldn't be calling if he is." Yuki responded, sarcasm dripping in his voice.

"Yuki, Shuichi went home at 5:00 this afternoon, saying that he's going straight there. He couldn't have gotten lost." Hiro muttered unintelligently still clouded with sleep.

This man isn't himself, I can tell. Yuki sighed and replied, "Well, he isn't. good night."

"Wait! Yuki! Did something happen between you and Shuichi?" Hiro asked rather more intelligently this time. Of course, having branded as the genius guitarist of Bad Luck he should know how to talk in a comprehensible way, at least.

"No." Yuki looked up and seemed to ponder for a moment. "I'm being me."

"I see. Well, if that's the case, I think I should inform you about what's happening to your lover, " Hiro comfortably settled himself on the couch while raising his feet on the center table.

Yuki kept his peace.

"Yuki, Shuichi's been really out of himself." Hiro started.

"Isn't he always?" Yuki raised an eyebrow, bored already.

"No I mean, Shuichi's been QUIET! And you know that Shuichi is anything BUT quiet unless he lost his voice or he's having some problems on his own. And this quietness is already lasting for a week now. It's just unnerving." Hiro explained and he could hear only silence on the other line. "Oh and Yuki, don't you dare sleep on me. After you woke me up, you don't have the right!"

"I am waiting for the brat." Yuki muttered not even sleepy to the least. His emotions are different and he knew that he's feeling much more than worry this time. And he also knew that the man on the other line knew how he felt.

"Sigh, Yuki, if it's any consolation, Shuichi loves you a lot. He would not go without explaining so don't worry too much." Hiro comforted. This is the last thing I thought I would be doing, comforting the coldest man to ever exist, next to Seguchi Tohma.

"Who said anything about me worrying?" Yuki glared as if Hiro was in the same room.

"You did, in the YUKI-language, as Shuichi taught me." Hiro sneered and knew at that moment that Yuki's very much awake and certainly very pissed.

"I'm going now, thank you." Yuki merely muttered automatically and obviously did not mean one bit of it.

Yuki placed the phone down in a hurry and almost sighed heavily as he felt a growing migraine. He looked around and saw the clock again. He sighed, this is getting too bothersome. Somehow the boy has gotten to give him a nervous breakdown right now and he's feeling a lot worse than he ever felt in years.

He prepared to go to the kitchen to get himself a cup of coffee to at least wake his nerves up when all of a sudden the door opened. Yuki's eyes darted to the door as he heard a soft and very weak "tadaima". The lights were closed but he knew very well who suddenly came home.

He decided to give the brat a little surprise.

Shuichi pulled his shoes off by the door and checked himself. He was sure that he did not leave any blood drops on the way, not that it mattered. At least he finally got home. He felt like he lost a liter of blood just by walking all that way to this apartment. It took him an hour and half to what was presumably a thirty minute slow walk.

He was so busy checking if there was any droplet of blood on the floor to notice a figure walking towards him. He took a step forward and stopped immediately sensing a person standing, hands over his chest, and stood there in front of him, unwavering.

And he knew very well who decided to greet him…and give him this little surprise. And to add cherry on top of his dessert, his mental voice decided to grace him with his own opinions adding up to his worsening migraine.

Shit, I thought he would be sleeping by this time…

Well, he's not, lucky or not.

What am I gonna say?

What am I gonna do?

Try lying.

He could actually sweat that if that voice of his had a face to show him, that person would be smirking, enjoying his times of trouble. His mental conversation was suddenly interrupted with the voice of the person who stood in front of him with a threatening voice.

"I thought that by this time you wouldn't have gotten lost in getting back home." Yuki glowered at Shuichi, who had his head bent down as if searching for something. Although the lights were off, he could still see him, particularly his pink hair.

"Y-Yuki?" Shuichi replied looking from his position only to be face-to-face with the writer's cold amber eyes. But something else was there. His usually cold eyes had a trace of another emotion.

Was that worry?

Was he worried?

"Who else would be living in this apartment, baka?" It was more like a statement rather than a question.

"Sorry I had to do something." Shuichi stepped to the side and started to make his way towards his room. He wanted so much to kiss Yuki like he usually did, but if he does, Yuki would know that he's badly injured. He would not want to make trouble with the writer anymore. He already caused too much.

"Like what you've been doing for the past 6 days?" Yuki gritted his teeth. He was sure that Shuichi would at least give him a kiss during that time, bit the boy simply went to his side and was about to go to his room.

"Y-yeah…but today…it was slightly…different…" Shuichi replied too softly for his tastes. But it was all that he could muster at that moment. He cringed at the accusation in the voice of Yuki as he tried to summon enough strength to actually continue this conversation, rather argument.

Yuki can see. He was not blind. The boy was hiding something from him. And Yuki Eiri hates it when people that eh loves, hides something from him. Visions of horrible events in his life suddenly flashed into his memory as he struggled not to punch the walls of his dear apartment. He saw himself being sold by his own first love by how much…for ten measly dollars.

How insulting…

My freaking life is worth ten measly dollars…

But this thing that has been going on with Shuichi should be placed into a halt. He won't get through this any longer. This time, he would talk if needed. He looked at the side of the wall and quickly opened the lights. Then he turned back to look at the boy only in time to catch Shuichi visibly flinch at the sound of the lights being turned on.

When the lights suddenly gave the room a little life, Yuki's eyes widened when he saw a small pool of blood where Shuichi was standing. The boy is now leaning on the wall using his left hand as his only support. His right hand pressed on something on his side, which Yuki presumed to be where the blood was coming from. Shuichi's shoulders sagged and without warning, he fell down to his knees completely giving up on trying to stand up and face the writer's natural instinct to instantly flood him with all those insinuating remarks. He had too little strength and energy to worry about that. And besides, he would be fainting anytime soon.

For the first time, he was glad that he would faint. At least it would spare him from the crude remarks coming from the author who always seems so bent on insulting him. He would just have to let go of his consciousness and faint, a very efficient escape route…

But the other man stood there for a while. His hands trembled as it formed fists. His cold amber eyes suddenly stirred with so much emotion that he ever had in his entire lifetime. There was fear, recognition, worry, anger, sadness, and love. So many emotions played into his mind and in his heart as he saw Shuichi gradually slump down on the wooden floor.

Shuichi on the other hand, knew that Yuki is looking at him. He wanted to smile towards Yuki but he could not move anymore. His limbs were tired and his body felt weak. And most of all, his head throbbed a lot. It was one of the reasons why he got into a slower pace. His memories, like the man in NG studios said are coming back slowly but very vaguely to remember enough.

Yuki suddenly snapped out of his trance as he saw Shuichi lean down and without a warning coughed more blood. He rushed towards the younger boy and kneeled in front of him to find himself face-to-face with him again, with the boy struggling to remain conscious. He positioned his hands on the shoulder only to feel the boy trembling. He was shocked to see that Shuichi looked up to him with his usual smile although it looked very pained.

The younger boy slowly leaned forward and lightly touched their lips together. He pulled back and smiled again. This time he felt like his head was going to break and that his body was under the torture of millions of needles. But with determination, he knew he wanted to say this. AT least for tonight, he wanted to say it.

"I'm sorry…"Shuichi muttered his last few words before he collapsed to the arms of his lover.

TBC