Notes:
Can I just say that now that I'm finally able to watch Lorelai's speech in Sidekick and have watched it a couple times, I notice myself saying June 3rd with her everytime. I mean I did it the first time before I even knew she was going to say it, but everytime since when she says 'you know what date I'm not getting married?' I always feel the urge to say June 3rd right along with her in the same voice. Craziness.
Cambria84 - I think that's exactly the outlook we all should have.
ACE5203 - Yup. Go Bucks!
hollywoodgrl - Yup, you'll find out why Lorelai married Larry and all of that as well as why Luke married Mandy by the end of the fic.
smileyGGfan - Maybe it will be Marty. I just love him. And it's better than readers going well why didn't you pick Logan or why didn't you pick Jess, because picking Marty is like picking someone we don't know except that Rory does know him. (Confusing, yes?) I don't know about the whole Lorelai's son and Luke's daughter thing, although he is only a year older than Loren. Hehe, reminiscing about Davey, it was like me reminiscing about Lane when she got married, like I was her mom or something. And it was a little shorter, but not as short as some of my chapters from other fics, I think this one's the longest so far and there's a lot of long chaps in this fic.
Chapter 4: Can Bring Back Your Love Someday
She spent the rest of the day back at her house going through boxes upon boxes. It was amazing to her how much she had saved from those years. On top of the thousands of videos and CDs, Lorelai had to sift though mountains of concert tickets, photographs and to-do lists.
She had taken a few minutes to call Lucy and Nicolas to make sure they had packed and were going to be ready for their neighbor, Randy, to take them to the airport the next day. Lorelai knew that she should have flown back to California on her own to help them pack, but once she had arrived and walked around town, she knew there was nowhere else she'd rather be. In fact, she was willing to forget about everything back in San Francisco and just live with what she had brought and what she had saved. The only important parts of her life out West were getting on a plane the next day and flying out to meet her.
When she called the kids and told them of the new arrangement, both had been surprisingly willing to go along with the plan. Lorelai knew that the place in California held too many memories of Larry but she still thought they would put up a fight. She thought they would miss their friends, their school, their usual patterns. And she remembered what that had once been like for her. Her arrival in San Francisco. Her search for the perfect coffee. Her hunt for a job. Everything had been different, everything had felt out of place.
But now Lorelai had come back to Stars Hollow and she felt like she belonged again. She could already see things more clearly and felt she could breathe easier. And only for a moment did she wonder if she was right in staying away for so long.
After spending all that time working on the house, making sure it was ready for Nicolas and Lucy's arrival, Lorelai needed to take a break. She stood from the middle of the floor of Rory's room, possibly the cleanest room in the house since over the years Rory had taken most things with her to DC. She bent over, brushing off her jeans and walked outside to get a breath of fresh air.
Glancing around the familiar front yard, Lorelai saw it. It had been in the corner of her eye when she had first pulled up in the drive. She had tried to ignore it when she admired her house from the yard. But it was time.
Lorelai sauntered over to the beautiful chuppah, still looking newly built after all those years. She reached out and let her fingers glide over the smooth wood, softly touching the flowers and birds and Gilbert, the goat. Standing under it, she could still remember what it had felt like that day, standing next to Luke under the chuppah that he had made for her, their shoulders touching, both lost in thought, each contemplating the wedding that supposed to occur, each feeling something drawing them to each other instead of towards their counterparts.
No one has ever made me a chuppah before
Well you only get married once. Theoretically.
Yeah, you only get married once.
And she did. She got married once. And Luke got married, well, twice.
She smiles to herself, realizing that Luke had proved himself wrong.
Her cell phone rings, startling her. Lorelai realizes that she's put her phone in her back pocket and takes it out, glancing at it. It's Emily. Lorelai quickly drops the phone like a hot potato.
"I'm not dealing with that today," she says to herself, still recalling the times her mother had harassed her for not coming back, for not giving Lucy and Nicolas the chance to fly to Connecticut to spend time with their grandparents and instead making Emily and Richard fly to California, not that they couldn't afford it.
This house does have a certain charm. It feels very homey. I can see you and Luke here.
Just remembering the moment that she realized Emily had finally accepted Luke in her life, Lorelai tears up. It is still amazing to her that just when Emily had finally acquiesced to give him a chance, Luke had pulled away more than ever before. She wonders for a moment if Emily had already seen what was happening between her and Luke, that he had started to pull away, and just wanted to drive home the point.
Lorelai shakes her head, covering her face with her hands, knowing she shouldn't be trying to blame Emily for what happened. No matter what her mother had done in the past, she had not had any influence on the final breakup between her and Luke. In fact, Emily had been one of the few trying to figure out how she and Luke could fix things before their relationship was irreparably destroyed.
Lorelai, you and Luke are in a relationship, you're going to be husband and wife and Sissy's his daughter.
No, no, no. That was Sissy. April is his daughter.
You know what I mean, you have to have a relationship with this girl. It's imperative.
Mom, you don't know the whole story.
But I know your handiwork when I see it. Playing cautious when you should be diving in. That girl is his blood relation and you need to get to know her. You'll be in her life for the rest of your life.
Mom, it isn't just me.
I can't believe Luke is letting you get away with this. The sooner you embrace your role in this girl's life, the better off you'll be, mark my words.
Her phone rings again, bringing her out of her reverie. Lorelai bends down and picks it up. Seeing that it's Sookie, she answers the phone. "Hey Sook," she greets her best friend.
"Hey, Jackson and I are heading towards the festival if you want to join us," Sookie says.
"That way I won't be mobbed by the reporters of Star Magazine when I get there?" Lorelai responds. Sookie laughs.
"Oh I can't promise that one. If fact, I might be able to guarantee that if you come, you're going to have to talk to them." Lorelai laughs.
"Yeah, I know." She smiles to herself glancing over at Babette's house. "But it will be nice to see them after all this time. Sookie, I had no idea," Lorelai admits. "I had no idea how much I missed this town of ours until I came back."
"Well then you'll be pleased to know that the town missed you just as much."
"Thanks, Sook. I'm going to head on over there, see you soon."
"Ta," Sookie responds and hangs up. Lorelai hangs up the phone, glancing once more over at the chuppah. Scratching her head, Lorelai walks towards the house to grab a light jacket before heading over to the center of town.
Upon her arrival in town square, Lorelai pauses, just taking everything in. She can see the bonfire in the center of the square and rows and rows of pumpkins. The gazebo is nicely decorated in oranges and reds and there are piles of fake leaves all around that kids are jumping in. And Lorelai smiles to herself.
"How did I ever give this up?" she wonders aloud.
"Lorelai! Lorelai! Over here!" Patty calls. Lorelai takes a deep breath, trying to be courageous, and walks towards Patty and the rest of the gang. "Lorelai, the moment I heard you were back in town, I've been just dying to see you!" Patty exclaims, putting an arm around a slightly uneasy Lorelai.
"Oh well, that's why I came. Just to see everyone," Lorelai responds.
"I told Patty that you had decided to move back here, Sugar," Babette tells her. Lorelai nods.
"Uh huh, that's right. It's official. Lorelai Gilmore is back," Lorelai announces.
"Is it still Gilmore? I mean, I had heard you had gotten married," Andrew wonders. Lorelai blushes and shrugs.
"Well, yeah, still Gilmore. I never changed my name."
"She's one of those modern women," Patty remarks with pride in her voice.
"That's better than saying she just hated his last name. What was it Finkleshnitz or something?" Gypsy asks.
"No," Lorelai replies with a shake of her head, her voice more solemn than before. "His last name was O'Donnell."
"What're you doing bringing him up like that? The poor girl's husband just died," Patty reminds Gypsy, squeezing Lorelai's shoulder. Lorelai gives her a faint smile, folding her arms over her chest.
"No, it's okay," Lorelai answers agreeably, lightly touching Gypsy's arm before refolding hers over her chest. "It's fine. Really. It's been a few months and I really don't mind talking about it."
"And the kids are coming too right?" Babette asks. Lorelai nods.
"The kids are coming too. They spent the day packing up their things and they'll fly in tomorrow," Lorelai responds.
"Oh I can't wait! It's been so long since I had kids living next door. Not since Rory was little. She was the sweetest little thing!" Babette exclaims. Lorelai grins.
"Yes, she was. You'll like Lucy and Nicolas too, I promise."
"Well if they look anything like you and Rory, I'm sure they're adorable," Patty says. Lorelai blushes tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.
"Well, you check 'em out Patty and let me know what you think," Lorelai suggests.
"You'd better be careful letting Patty around your son, Babydoll. She might do more than just check 'im out," Babette warns. Lorelai raises an eyebrow at Patty.
"Well now Patty, that would be illegal," Lorelai chastises her jokingly. She notices Sookie waving to her from a distance. "Anyways, it was good to see everyone again. I'm sure we'll have lots of time to catch up now that I'm staying." Lorelai smiles at them and begins to walk over to Sookie and Jackson.
"Hey Lorelai, just one more question," Patty says, stopping Lorelai by grabbing her arm.
"Hmmm?"
"You didn't happen to-" Lorelai grabs Patty's arm, cutting her off before she can finish her question.
"Patty, I'd really rather not talk about that," Lorelai tells her solemnly. Patty nods. Lorelai walks over to Sookie as Patty shares a concerned look with Babette. "Hey there Sooks!" Lorelai greets her friend. They hug. "Jackson! My man! You looked so much more handsome than I remembered!"
"It's not easy to look this good, you know," Jackson boasts, rubbing his knuckle on his chest. Lorelai and Sookie share a look both breaking out in giggles. Jackson just rolls his eyes. "Fine have your fun. But Lorelai, it is good to have you back." Lorelai nods, her face red from trying to hold in her giggles.
"Thank you Jackson," she manages, gasping for breath. She touches a hand to her chest as she slowly regains her normal breathing pattern. "Sorry about that, man have I missed you Jackson!" Jackson glowers in response. "So, how's the vegetable growing business?"
"It's going great actually. Davey helped get together a great tomato crop. I really don't know what I'm going to do without him next summer."
"Next summer? He's starting college in the summer? I mean Rory went to the genius school and they still started with all the others," Lorelai says.
"If he wants to be on the football team, he has to start in the summer," Sookie tells Lorelai. "Besides, Jackson has to learn how to get by without Davey doing half the work for him. And Jackson, there's no way you're ever getting Martha to help." Jackson looks down forlornly. Lorelai grins touching Jackson's arm.
"Jackson, I completely understand what you're going through. When Rory went to Yale, I had no idea how I was ever going to get my house cleaned for free again," Lorelai jokes. Jackson scowls. "Just get someone else, that's why I let Luke move in," Lorelai adds lightly. Sookie's eyes go wide at Lorelai's easy mention of Luke. Realizing what she just said, Lorelai grimaces. "So the tomatoes are going to be ripe soon?" Lorelai asks quickly, not wanting to dwell on her previous comment, although not really caring about Jackson's response to her question.
As Jackson starts to tell her about the tomato crop and Sookie continues interjecting, Lorelai's eyes travel over to the diner. "I thought you said you would go!" a girl yells, walking out of the diner, letting the door slam behind her. She pouts in front of the door, her arms folded over her chest. Lorelai watches the poor girl, who has been unable to convince her father to follow her wishes. She smiles to herself, remembering the countless times she had to convince him to do things he didn't want to do.
And my final plea not to make me go to this thing tomorrow.
You do not have to go.
Fine. I'll go.
I love it when I break you with just the sheer anticipation of a wear down!
"Hey, I'll be right back," Lorelai quickly says to Sookie and Jackson, who barely notice as they are in the middle of one of their crazy arguments.
She walks over to the diner, all the while trying to come up with exactly what she should say. The girl looks up at Lorelai as she stops in front of the diner. "Couldn't get him to go?" Lorelai asks sympathetically. The girl shakes her head angrily.
"I know he would have fun if he'd ever give it a chance," the girl insists. Lorelai glances in the diner where Luke stands behind the counter filling salt shakers.
"Hang in there," Lorelai tells the girl, touching her arm and then walks in the diner.
"I already told you that I'm not going," Luke grumbles upon hearing the bells, not looking up to see who's walking in.
"Actually, you told me you probably would," Lorelai responds. Luke looks up, startled.
"I thought you were…"
"I know who you thought I was," Lorelai interrupts. They stare at each other a moment.
"I didn't realize you were still in town. I thought you'd be on the first flight back to California to be with your kids." Lorelai shrugs.
"Plans changed. I decided against selling the Crap Shack and I'm moving back," Lorelai tells him. Luke nods.
"That's good, I didn't like that you were going to sell that place." Lorelai smiles softly, recalling how Luke always just wanted her to be happy. "You want some coffee?"
"Yes I do, but no I can't. I have to get back to the festival and Luke you have to come." He scoffs, shaking his head.
"Fifteen years later and you still think you need to tell me what to do."
"I'm not trying to tell you what I think you should do, I'm telling you what you need to do," Lorelai responds. "You've got an upset kid out there Luke."
"You'd think after fourteen years, I would have learned a few things about being a father."
"And you have, I'm sure. But she's standing out there telling me that she wants you to go." Luke stops what he's doing and freezes.
"You – you talked to her?" Luke stammers. Lorelai looks at him like he's crazy.
"No, I ignored the angry child in front, shoved her aside and marched my way in here without even bothering to find out what she's upset about," Lorelai replies sarcastically.
"What did you tell her about yourself?" Luke asks.
"N-nothing."
"You didn't introduce yourself?" Lorelai shakes her head.
"No, I thought you could come out there and do that." Luke sighs. "Do I need to do the hairflip?" Lorelai asks, winking. Luke's expression softens, a hint of a smile on his face.
"Fine." Luke grabs his coat and heads out the door.
"Yes!" Lorelai exclaims, pumping her fist. "I knew I could break you!"
The hair flip is that effective, huh?
Combine that with your black dress, you could probably get me to be your backup dancer.
I'll remember that.
Lorelai smiles to herself, just remembering how well her powers once worked. She follows Luke out to where his daughter is standing. "Look who I brought!" Lorelai announces, pulling on the flannel covering Luke's arm. He gives Lorelai a dirty look.
"That's amazing!" the girl exclaims. Lorelai grins, nodding to Luke like he should be thanking her.
"Well try the hair flip sometime and you can get him to do whatever you want," Lorelai tells the girl.
"Um, I don't think that would work for her," Luke tells Lorelai, who stares at him a moment before realizing that a hair flip from his daughter really wouldn't work.
"Right." Luke sighs.
"Oh hey, Loren this is an old friend of mine, Lorelai. She used to live here years ago."
"Fifteen years ago," Lorelai interjects. Luke nods to her.
"Right, fifteen years ago. Anyways, we were friends back when she lived here. Oh you met Rory, right?" Loren nods.
"Yeah, a few times," Loren recalls.
"Yeah, Rory is Lorelai's daughter." Loren's eyes widen as she stares at Lorelai.
"Wow, haven't seen that look in awhile," Lorelai mutters.
"Oh, uh, Lorelai looks younger than she is," Luke stammers. Lorelai gives him a dirty look.
"Thank you for that," Lorelai responds sarcastically. She looks back at Loren and smiles. "Yes, Rory is my daughter, I was 16 when I had her."
"Right, that too," Luke adds shaking a finger towards Lorelai, too flustered to figure how to tell this whole story better than he did. Loren raises an eyebrow.
"Sixteen, wow," Loren utters breathlessly. She slowly glances from Lorelai to Luke.
"So, you ready to festival it?" Lorelai asks. Loren nods, not even noticing for a moment that Lorelai has made festival into a verb. "Come on!" Lorelai leads Loren and Luke over to where Sookie and Jackson still stand.
"Hey there, Sweetie, we were wondering where you went," Sookie says.
"Well I went to get the 6th dwarf to join us," Lorelai jokes. Luke rolls his eyes as Loren giggles.
"Man, she knows you Dad!" Loren exclaims. Luke glowers at Lorelai. "Hey, I'm going to go get some cider, you want some Dad?"
"I'd sooner jab a nail into my hand," Luke deadpans. Lorelai shakes her head in amazement.
"Okay, Lorelai?"
"Sure, I would love some and a nail, please," Lorelai quips. Loren laughs.
"I like her," Loren announces. Lorelai smiles. Luke takes a deep breath, unsure of what to say.
"You'd like my daughter too. She's coming tomorrow with my son. They're moving here too. I'll bring them by to meet you," Lorelai responds.
"That'd be great! Sookie, Jackson, cider?" Loren offers.
"No thank you, Sweetie, it'll keep Jackson up at night," Sookie responds. Loren nods. "Actually Jackson and I are going to head home. You three have a good time." Sookie wraps her arm through Jackson's and they leave.
"Kay that's two ciders and one nail, got it," Loren jokes and runs off. Luke and Lorelai watch her walk away, both glancing at each other after a moment. Lorelai draws in an uncomfortable breath and smiles slightly. She looks down, thinking about Luke past experiences as a father.
I'm just saying let me be a part of it.
No.
Why?
Because it's too soon.
Why is it too soon?
Because the minute you get involved in her life it will be all over for me.
What? That's ridiculous.
No, it's not ridiculous. You're colorful and funny. You're pratically a cartoon character. Kids love you! I wouldn't want to hang out withme after meeting you.
Luke!
She'll like you better, that is just a fact.
No, you're her dad.
Yes, I am her dad and this is the way I want it to be.
Okay.
Lorelai looks back up at Luke, watching him watch Loren and smiles to herself. "You really are a great Dad," Lorelai tells him softly. Luke shrugs.
"She puts up with me," he replies modestly. Lorelai shakes her head.
"No, she loves you. She respects you as a Dad." Luke nods, not sure of what to say. "I always said you'd be a great Dad."
"Yes, a few times if I remember. It wasn't until you found out I actually was a father that you changed your mind," Luke recalls. Lorelai looks away, hurt by his completely false response. She watches Loren joke with Lulu, who stands by the cider.
"Luke, what does she know about me?" Lorelai asks, looking back at Luke. He's watching Loren as well. He shrugs, uncomfortably.
"Not much," he responds then clears his throat. "Nothing at all actually." He runs his thumb across his forehead and then fixes the blue baseball cap on his head. Lorelai raises an eyebrow. "If she ever heard your name before today, it wasn't from me." Lorelai nods, pursing her lips. "What do Nick and Lucy know about me?" She smiles faintly.
"The same." She looks down. "They know I was engaged before their dad, but only to Max." She shrugs.
"What did Larry know?"
"Oh, you know, that I had been engaged to you, although I never told him your name. Just that I had been engaged, we fought and I left for San Francisco with flowers in my hair."
"Yeah, that's pretty much what I told Mandy," Luke responds.
"But April was still here," Lorelai notes. Luke grimaces, not really knowing how to respond to that. Lorelai takes out her cell phone and looks at the time. "Well I should go, I have a lot to do tomorrow before picking up the kids."
"Bring 'em by, I'd like to meet them," Luke says.
"Yeah," Lorelai responds, nodding and shaking her head at the same time.
"Hey." Luke touches Lorelai's arm gently. She tenses but looks up at him. "I'm glad you decided to stay."
"Me too," Lorelai replies, nodding again. "Me too. Be sure to drink my cider for me."
"Yeah, I'll get right on that." Lorelai laughs.
"See you Luke." Lorelai turns and walks away. Luke watches her for a moment before walking over to Loren. As she's walking out of the center of town, Lorelai pauses to glance over her shoulder at Luke and Loren.
I'm not really as anti-kid as I come off.
Drop another sucker in…
Okay, yes, I don't always have the patience for 'em. They tend to be a little squishy and that freaks me out.
You don't have to like kids, Luke. Or want kids. It's not for everybody.
I know, but…although I'm quite happy going an entire day without having to deal with somebody else's bodily functions, if I ever happen to meet the right person… well, it would be a discussion.
A discussion.
Yes. Probably a short discussion, but still.
She takes a deep breath, just watching Luke be the father she always knew he could be. He was so good with Loren, she had known that after just a few seconds. Luke may not like kids, but she had always believed he would love his own. Just as he had loved April back when. And thinking of that still hurt, because even fifteen years later, she still thought he had loved April more than her. That was a hurt she might never get over.