Author's Note: Okay, here we go at last …

I have not set stories in the later seasons of Friends very often, because the show's writers display a growing tendency to present the characters as crude caricatures of their earlier selves, and also to include material that directly contradicts what we thought we knew previously. So some of the material in the show which displays these features will simply be ignored; it "didn't happen". Everything up to Chandler and Monica's engagement can be taken as having happened, more or less, but from then on we get into AU territory, as you will see.

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Chapter 2: Ross and Rachel, Rachel and Ross …

"Jill wasn't around for very long, I remember," said Gunther, "and she seemed mad when she left. Clearly it involved Rachel and Ross, so what was that about?"

"Well I wasn't there at the end," Phoebe began, "but the way I heard it, Jill went on a date with Ross, and it freaked Rachel out so much that she asked Ross to stop seeing her. Jill found this out and to get back at Rachel she conned her way into Ross's room and started kissing him."

Gunther said nothing, merely gave a derisive snort.

Ignoring this, Phoebe continued, "Ross showed up later and told us this, and Rachel was getting all steamed up about it, but then he said he had stopped it, and why. He said he started thinking, he didn't know whether anything could ever happen again between him and Rachel, but he didn't want to know it never could. Well, that, like, stopped Rachel dead in her tracks. Monica said she was, like, stunned, and she even thanked Ross. But of course, being Rachel, she couldn't leave it there, and the very next chance she got she dragged Monica and me into a conference …"

-----

"Do you think Ross is still in love with me?" Rachel said rather urgently. She did not sound exactly thrilled by the idea, Phoebe thought. "Because I thought he'd got over me," Rachel continued, "but he wouldn't have talked like that if he didn't have real feelings for me, would he? I don't think he would," she answered her own question. "So … what d'you think I should do?"

"It was certainly rather … telling," Monica said slowly.

"Of course he's in love with you," said Phoebe firmly. "You guys are destined to be together." She still wanted to believe that they were lobsters, despite all the evidence that seemed to point the other way.

"But, Pheebs, the problem is, I don't think I'm ready for that any more," Rachel protested. "I think I am over Ross."

Phoebe looked sceptical. "Not so long ago, you were very upset when I said, there might be a spark between him and Jill."

"Yeah, but that was because she's my sister," Rachel said fiercely. "It wouldn't have been right for her to get him. Believe me, I know: she wouldn't have suited him at all."

Phoebe rolled her eyes incredulously at Monica, who grinned and shook her head.

"We've been through this before," said Phoebe, "when he went off to marry Emily. You thought you were over him then, until you realised you weren't."

"But that all blew over, and then later, when I had a chance to get back with him, after our Vegas marriage, I found I didn't want to," Rachel countered. "Oh yeah, I know, I still feel uneasy when he has a date, but it's not like I felt with Bonnie and Emily. It'll pass, in time. What I need is some other guy to distract me."

"Well," said Monica, "I think the best thing you can do is talk to him and see what his feelings really are."

"Yeah," said Rachel. "I guess that's what I'll have to do."

-----

"And so she did," Phoebe said to Gunther, "but she told us that Ross claimed he didn't have any special feelings for her. And then … do you remember Elizabeth?"

"Yeah," said Gunther, smiling. "She was cute."

"Uh-huh," said Phoebe, "but she was far too young for Ross. I mean, she was just a kid. Anyway, that all came to an end right about the time that Chandler and Monica got engaged. And who do you think Monica found K-I-S-S-I-N-G in the hall outside, that very night?"

"Ross and Rachel," Gunther guessed. "And how did that come about?"

"Well, they got to talking about the past, and Rachel brought up this idea of a bonus night – you know, when two people have broken up but they have a last night of sex. That seems to have started them making out."

Gunther looked pained. "People do that? Sounds pretty immoral, and asking for trouble."

Phoebe let this go. "Well, Monica was furious. She said they had stolen her thunder, because we were all, like, excited about them getting back together, and the evening was meant to be about her … and Chandler," she added as something of an afterthought. "But anyway, there was a lot of rushing around and fights and stuff, and in the end they never had a bonus night, at least not then."

"But later?" Gunther prompted, frowning. He had not picked up any of this from his observations of the group.

Phoebe nodded. "How it happened ... Naturally we had lots and lots of wedding stuff, with Monica freaking out more and more every day, and to do her justice there was plenty to freak out about. Turned out, her parents had spent any money they might have saved for her wedding. But Chandler was able to come to the rescue; he had a lot saved up. Then, of course, he and Monica had to fight over how much to spend on the wedding, but in the end they both said sorry and agreed to compromise. Anyway, this was all, like, having an effect on Ross and Rachel …"

-----

Ross, Rachel and Phoebe were sitting together in Central Perk, where they had fled because even Rachel had had enough of Monica's obsessiveness over her wedding plans.

"Y'know, when Monica gets like this, I start wondering why I'm still friends with her," Phoebe said rather wearily. "You'd think no one ever got married before."

"Yeah, we didn't make nearly so much fuss, did we, Ross?" said Rachel rather mischievously.

Startled, because this was an episode Phoebe thought both of them would want to forget, she looked at Rachel, to see her smiling at Ross in a teasing way, without a hint of malice.

Ross took it in a similar spirit. "Nope," he said, grinning back. "My memory is sorta hazy, but we just went right out and did it, didn't we?"

"Yeah," said Rachel, with a look of reminiscence about her. "I don't remember much either, but of course we were both drunk as skunks." She snickered. "I remember calling you Mr. Green when you called me Mrs. Geller." She gave a little sigh. "What dumbass fools we must have looked."

For a moment she seemed melancholy; then she brightened. "Hey, Ross, why don't we go out and get a drink or two, right now?" she said. "Like a wake, sort of."

"A wake for what?" Ross said, looking a little puzzled.

"Our feelings for each other," Rachel said simply. "I mean, you don't have any feelings left for me, right? Because I don't for you, aside from friendship – I still look on you as my good friend Ross." She smiled at him in a way that could never be mistaken for love.

"Oh no no no, I'm, uh, I'm completely over you," said Ross hastily. To Phoebe's practised ear he did not sound very convincing. "Well, well, a drink would be nice," he went on.

Phoebe felt that things were taking a dangerous turn. "You guys should be careful," she said. "You've just been talking about what happened the last time you got drunk together."

"Who said anything about getting drunk?" said Rachel indignantly. "Things were entirely different then, Phoebe. No, we can be together safely, can't we, Ross? We'll just have a drink or two and wrap up our feelings about the past." She smiled at him again.

"Oh, sure," said Ross, looking rather pleased.

"I don't like it," said Phoebe. "I'm coming along."

Rachel fixed her with the nearest she could produce to a death stare. "No, you aren't, Phoebe," she said. "This, this is private – just us two. C'mon, Ross."

Phoebe knew when she was not wanted. She had considerable qualms about it, but decided to hope for the best. "Have fun, and don't stay out too late," she called after them.

-----

"So, did they get drunk?" Gunther asked, returning after having cleared a table or two and served a customer.

"I don't think so, not really," said Phoebe, "but they did move on to having a bonus night. When Joey showed up for breakfast at Monica and Chandler's next day, he said Rachel hadn't come home, and I was wondering whether to tell what I knew, when here she comes, looking very pleased with herself …"

-----

Rachel struck a pose in the doorway. "Hi, guys," she said very cheerfully.

"Where have you been?" Monica demanded, sounding a bit mad. "Joey says you were out all night, but I didn't think you had a date. I thought you were with Phoebe and Ross."

Rachel's expression turned to a definite smirk. "Well, where I wound up – Ross and me, we had our bonus night after all." She giggled. "And what a night! The best end to a relationship I ever had."

"You slept with Ross?" Monica cried, sounding shocked. Chandler and Joey also looked very surprised.

"Well, there wasn't much sleeping going on," Rachel said, patting her hair and looking smug. "I gotta say, Ross still has it in him. But he's asleep now. I thought I'd let him rest."

"What the hell did you think you were doing?" Monica cried, now definitely mad. She rounded on Phoebe accusingly. "Did you know about this?"

"They were going to have a drink together, and Rachel made it quite clear, she didn't want me along," Phoebe explained. "It was meant to be, like, saying goodbye to their feelings for each other, the way I got it."

"Yeah, that's how I felt about it," said Rachel excitedly, "and also, I thought Ross needed a bit of cheering up, after the break with Elizabeth. I know I put him through it, now and then, so I felt I kinda owed him a satisfactory closure." She smirked again. "We certainly got that."

" It sounds like quite a night. Any details you're willing to share, Rachel?" asked Joey insinuatingly.

"Joey!" cried Monica, Phoebe and Chandler together.

"It's okay, guys," said Rachel in a laid back manner. "I guess I have been asking for that. But no, Joey, no details – now or ever. Well, I thought, there's no need to keep it secret or anything, so that's where I've been. Now I must go shower and change."

As soon as she had left, Monica began to cross-question Phoebe sternly, and Phoebe filled in what details she knew. Monica's frown deepened.

"This is totally wrong," she said angrily. "Phoebe, how can you have let them do this?"

"But she didn't know they were going to do it," Chandler said reasonably.

"And how was she gonna stop them?" Joey put in. "They're all grown up. Besides, Rachel seems okay with it – no revived feelings about Ross or anything."

"I'm not concerned with her," said Monica disdainfully. "I'm thinking about my brother and the effect on him. If she was feeling so horny, why couldn't she go out and find some stranger to get laid by? She's had enough one-night stands, God knows."

"Ross is a big boy," Chandler said in a mildly protesting tone. "He can look after himself, surely."

"Not where Rachel's concerned, he can't," Monica snapped, rounding on him. "I'm really mad at her, the little slut! I'll bet this is gonna cause all kinds of problems between them, just when everyone should be concentrating on my wedding!"

"Our wedding," Chandler corrected, a little less mildly. "Why don't you wait and see what Ross thinks about it, before condemning Rachel to outer darkness?"

"Chandler, this is no time for smart-ass comments!" Monica virtually screamed at him.

Chandler looked both surprised and hurt, and muttered something inaudible. All at once Phoebe felt sorry for him.

"I think Chandler's right," she said. "If Ross accepts this as closure, where's the problem?"

Monica turned a death glare on her, but Phoebe refused to be intimidated and glared right back.

"Okay, okay, we'll wait to see how Ross takes it," Monica said grumblingly. "But my bet is, this will send him off the rails again."

-----

"It was a while before Ross showed up again," Phoebe explained. "We didn't see him at breakfast, but he showed up in the afternoon, before Monica went back to work. And that's when – Why, here's Rachel!" She jumped up.

"Hi, honey," said Rachel warmly, coming forward to hug Phoebe and kiss her on the cheek. She was looking good, Phoebe thought – well-dressed as always, but also relaxed. That slight tightness in her face that had so often been there, as if she was frowning about something that was irritating her, was gone.

"Hi, Gunther," Rachel said, turning to him with a beaming smile. "It's great to see you still here. Makes me remember the good old days."

"Uh, hi, Rachel," Gunther stammered, flushing slightly. "Phoebe was just telling me about how things … went wrong between you guys."

Rachel's expression sobered. "I think all that is better forgotten," she said quietly.

"Yes, but I don't know any of it, to forget," said Gunther quite emotionally, looking very frustrated. "Chandler and Monica broke up, and I never knew why, but clearly it was bad, and then you all started disappearing or avoiding each other, never coming here at the same time. So, well, I'd like to know what happened."

Rachel seemed rather impressed by this speech, probably the longest she had ever heard from Gunther. "Sure," she said softly as she sat down. "I understand, Gunther. Anyway, it doesn't hurt any more, really. I made it up with Monica some time ago, and … well, my life is going well now." She smiled, looking happy.

"Ooh, a guy, maybe?" said Phoebe excitedly.

Rachel smiled a little smugly. "I got a promotion," she said, "but, yeah, you guessed it, it's a guy. You've heard me say how hard it is to find a straight guy in my business? Well, someone was just transferred to our branch, and he's clearly interested in me." She inspected her nails, trying (and to Phoebe's eyes not succeeding) to look casual. "And I'm sort of interested in him, too. His name's Gavin." Then she looked up at Gunther. "Could I have a large latte, Gunther?"

Gunther was looking very down in the mouth. How can Rachel not know he has a crush on her, Phoebe thought. But Rachel's expression of generalised friendliness did not change.

After a moment Gunther seemed to shake himself. "One latte coming right up," he said, and hurried off.

Rachel caught Phoebe looking at her, and sighed. "I do know, Phoebe," she said, nodding her head towards Gunther, "but what am I gonna do? At the beginning I thought he'd get over it if I showed no interest. How was I to know it would go on for so long?"

Phoebe nodded. "Yeah, it has, like, dragged on a bit," she said sympathetically.

"So, where have you got to, bringing Gunther up to speed on what happened?" Rachel said, looking interested.

"I had reached your bonus night," said Phoebe, looking at her rather anxiously. For quite a while Rachel could hardly bear to hear it mentioned.

To her relief Rachel simply chuckled. "Oh, what good memories that brings back," she said, "despite what came after." She shook her head. "But Monica was right: I shouldn't have done it."

"How so, Rachel?" said Gunther, who had arrived that moment with her coffee. "Did Ross start having feelings again?"

"You got it," said Rachel, pulling a comically doleful face.

"He came in that afternoon, when Rachel was still out," Phoebe said. "But all the rest of us were there …"

-----

"Hi, guys!" said Ross. He was looking remarkably cheerful. "Did Rachel tell you our news?"

"Yeah, we heard you had a real good time with her last night," said Joey, grinning broadly.

"It was more than that, Joey," said Ross reprovingly. "We're gonna get back together."

The others all looked at each other uneasily.

"Uh … that's not what Rachel said," Chandler said rather tentatively.

Ross's smile changed to a frown. "Why, what did she say?"

"She said it was the best end to a relationship she ever had," Monica said, looking at Ross worriedly.

"The way she told it to us, I don't see how you could get the idea that she wanted to get back together," Chandler said, shaking his head.

Ross sat down heavily. "That's precisely the idea I did get," he said, now sounding very unhappy.

"I knew it!" Monica cried fiercely. "I knew this is what would happen!"

"Rachel called it a bonus night," said Chandler. "Did she say anything to you like that?"

Ross wrinkled his brow in an effort at remembering. "Um, yeah," he said, "now I think about it, I guess she did say something like that, right at the beginning. But I thought she was just kidding, making a reference to all that fuss at the time of your engagement."

Chandler was now looking worried too. "Ross, did she say anything at all that gave you the idea she wanted to start over?"

"Yeah," said Joey. "I mean, when I'm with a girl who really wants a relationship, she'll bring up the topic some way. That's how I know not to call them."

Ross sat thinking while they all looked at him. Finally he shook his head. "We didn't talk much," he said slowly, "but I can't believe she doesn't have feelings for me. She was … so keen." There was real pain in his voice. "So I thought, she must be ready to start over."

Monica produced an exaggerated sigh. "Ross, you're kidding yourself," she said firmly. "She made it quite clear to us, she wanted that to be the end of any idea of a relationship between you."

Ross actually groaned and put his head in his hands. Immediately Monica went over to embrace him. Somewhat reluctantly, Phoebe joined her, and then Chandler and Joey came up, to put their hands on Ross's shoulders. Chandler caught Phoebe's eye and shook his head.

"This is bad," he murmured.

At that moment Rachel came in. "Hi, guys," she said cheerily, then "What's up?" as she saw them clustered around Ross.

"You thought you were saying goodbye," said Monica rather fiercely, "but clearly
Ross didn't! He thought you wanted to get back together." Her voice had a marked note of accusation.

Rachel looked stricken. "Ross, I thought we were agreed," she said. "I said, why didn't we have a bonus night, and you said, yeah, great idea." Her voice began to rise. "You can't have got the idea that I felt more than friendship for you?"

"I did," said Ross in a shaky voice.

"Oh GOD!" Rachel cried, now sounding mad and throwing down her purse in evident frustration. "How much plainer could I get? Don't you remember what I said about having a wake for our feelings for each other? All I wanted – and I thought, all you wanted too – was one night of great sex, like we used to have."

"I just … it brought it all back," Ross said, sounding as if he was close to tears. "You mean, you can be that, that enthusiastic, when it's just sex, you felt nothing for me?"

Rachel drew in a breath, then slowly let it out again. "I'm not saying it wasn't … rather special," she said in a controlled voice. "You and I have a long history, after all, and we always went well together – I've told you what a good lover you are. So, yeah, okay, I was enthusiastic. But that's all it was, Ross, and I never pretended otherwise."

"So, you used my brother to fulfil your sexual needs!" Monica cried in a tone of considerable anger. "You never thought, it could be dangerous, it could stir up old feelings! What Rachel wants, Rachel gets, and to hell with anything else!"

Rachel went pale. "It wasn't like that," she protested. "I thought he was totally on board with the idea that it would be a nice way to get closure."

"Nice!" Monica yelled. " I don't believe you! I think you were just needy. You wanted some nice, no-strings-attached sex, and who better to give it to you than reliable old Ross?" She leaned forward, her expression very hostile. "Why didn't you go pick up some guy in a bar? It would have been just as slutty, but it wouldn't have hurt anyone."

Rachel looked as if she'd been slapped in the face. For a moment she seemed unable to speak. When she did, her voice was shaking slightly. "You can say that to me, after all these years we've known each other? Okay, we've joked around about sluttiness, but …" She stopped, her eyes fixed on Monica, her expression strained.

"Yeah, I'm not joking!" Monica continued at full volume. "Your problem, Rachel Karen Green, is that you are a complete, uncaring, thoughtless slut!" She pronounced the word so viciously that not only Phoebe but Joey and Chandler gasped, while even Ross looked slightly shocked. "It never seems to occur to you what damage you can do …"

Rachel held up a hand, her face set, and for a wonder Monica stopped.

"Okay," Rachel said in a voice that was just slightly shaky, "I get the message. Well, you won't want a slut for your Maid of Honor, obviously, so I resign here and now. Phoebe, I'll pass all the stuff I've got together to you as soon as I can." She drew a breath and looked round them all. "I'm sorry about all this, guys, but I can tell when I'm not wanted. It's better that I just remove myself altogether. Joey, I'll start looking for another apartment. And Ross," her voice became softer, "I'm really sorry, okay? Whatever Monica likes to think, I was trying to end things with you in a good way."

"Th-that's okay, Rachel," Ross muttered.

At the same time Joey said in horrified tones, "You're gonna walk out, you're really gonna leave us?"

"You can't!" Monica cried, her voice suddenly panicky.

"Watch me," said Rachel curtly, heading for the door without looking back.

"I, I didn't mean …" Monica began rather tentatively.

Rachel turned at the door. Phoebe thought there was a shine of tears in her eys, but her voice was steady. "Yes, you did," she said, and then she was gone.

There was a stunned silence. Monica stood frozen, white-faced, eyes closed, fists clenched.

Chandler sighed. "That went well," he said in a detectably sarcastic tone.

"Don't," said Monica through her teeth. "Don't you dare to criticise me, Chandler, not over this." It looked to Phoebe as if her body was trembling slightly.

"Uh, Mon," Ross began.

She rounded on him. "Don't you start! This is as much your fault as hers. She only has to waggle her ass, and you go running! Between the two of you, you've come close to ruining my wedding!" She almost ran to her bedroom and slammed the door.

"Oh wow!" said Joey softly.

"I'm sorry, Chandler," said Ross to Chandler contritely. "I, I guess Monica is overwrought, with all the wedding plans on her mind."

Chandler nodded and grunted acknowledgement rather casually. He was looking off into space, as if his mind was elsewhere. They all watched him, not knowing what to say but expecting that he was going to come up with something. He had that look.

Finally he sighed, even more deeply than before, and spoke. "You know, if she says 'my wedding' much more, I … I don't know what I'll do, but I will do something. Joey, let's go play foosball. I need to work off some adrenalin."

-----

Hearing Phoebe's brief summary of what had been said after she left, Rachel sighed.

"I guess that whole incident brought Chandler's underlying feelings closer to the surface," she said.

"Yeah, I guess so," said Phoebe soberly. "But you know what I think? If it hadn't been that, it would have been something else. Sooner or later, it was bound to come."

"Hey, guys!" came a well-known voice, and they all turned, to see a smiling Ross standing behind them. With him was an attractive black woman, almost as tall as he was.

"Ross!" cried Rachel in tones of delight, jumping to her feet. "It's so good to see you! You're looking well." She hurried forward to give him a hug, which, Phoebe was relieved to see, was simply a friendly hug, with no suggestion of the lover about it, and was not accompanied by any attempt to kiss him.

"You're looking good too," said Ross, returning the hug, his smile undiminished, "and you, Pheebs."

Phoebe had come up more slowly, and now gave him a warm hug also, pleased that he had come. She smiled at the black woman, who produced a rather nervous smile in return.

"Charlie, these are Phoebe and Rachel," said Ross, beaming, "You've heard me talk about them. And, guys, this is Charlie Wheeler, a really good palaeontologist, and also," he paused teasingly for a moment, "my fiancée." He took her hand and held it forward. They could all see a rather impressive, old-fashioned looking ring.