Chapter 4: Chandler and Monica's Big Fat Breakup

Author's Note: Thanks to all my nice reviewers!

This presentation of Monica could rouse hackles, and might be thought slightly unfair, since in the show she does not always ride roughshod over Chandler in matters concerning the wedding (e.g. she gave up the cheap wedding dress so he could have the swing band he wanted). But there remains a general impression that he gets very little say in things, which seems unjust when he's paying for it, and overall this can be seen as a time when 'managing Monica' turns into 'bullying Monica'. Moreover, this is an AU, in which there has already been one major change from the show's presentation of events, Rachel's departure, brought on by Monica's behaviour. I have no doubt that this would have a bad effect on Monica's temper and general attitude.

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"Hold on a minute," said Charlie. "You say Chandler was shut out when he wanted to be involved in the wedding, but now that Monica wanted him in he wouldn't play? That seems inconsistent."

"I guess he wanted in on his terms," said Phoebe. "He wanted Monica to come right out and say sorry, she shouldn't have shut him out, she really needed him, all that. He was like … what's that guy's name, so-and-so in his tent?"

"Achilles, in the Iliad," said Ross authoritatively. "He withdraws from the fighting and sulks because he feels he has been publicly dishonoured. But when he's offered a reconciliation package, which is actually a good deal, he won't accept it – he can't let go of his grievance."

Phoebe looked at him admiringly. "You do know a lot of stuff, Ross. Well, I think Chandler was a bit like that. I think he wanted Monica to apologise, maybe to beg, even. But, like I said, this was more than Monica was ready to give. She was already feeling very defensive over Rachel, and I guess she didn't want to have to admit to what might be seen as bad behaviour, but to move on. Well, Chandler seemed bound and determined not to make it easy for her."

"Okay," said Charlie. "So Chandler was acting up – but he wasn't coming right out and saying why? I mean, he never said anything which might give Monica an opening, like 'What do you need me for, you've gotten along fine so far without me'?"

Phoebe shook her head. "He always tended to, like, internalise a lot. So, well, on that last day …"

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Phoebe and Monica were finalising various matters to do with the reception, and often finding themselves undecided, and Phoebe could tell that Monica was getting more and more impatient with Chandler, to the point of being mad. He seemed to be deliberately baiting her by making a display of thinking that the wedding plans were nothing to do with him. Whenever Monica asked for his opinion, he would act surprised to be asked, and say in a throwaway manner that whatever she wanted was fine with him. This did not exactly surprise Phoebe, since from the very beginning Monica had been set on having her own way, whatever Chandler said or suggested. Clearly that had rankled, more than he had shown, and now he was getting his own back. But Monica was at least trying to include him, now that Rachel was no longer there to consult, and Phoebe thought it unwise of Chandler to maintain this 'who cares?' attitude.

Finally, Monica snapped, in a tone of considerable irritation, "Chandler, don't you have any interest in the wedding arrangements at all?"

Chandler looked up from the paper in which he had been ostentatiously burying his nose except when spoken to directly. "Now you want me to show interest in the wedding arrangements?" he said in his surprised way. "I thought I was just supposed to show up and say the right name. I don't see the point of giving an opinion when it never, ever, makes any difference."

"I wouldn't ask for your opinion if I didn't want it," Monica said, looking taken aback at the distinct flavour of bitterness in his voice.

"So you can have the pleasure of contradicting me if it doesn't fit yours?" said Chandler ironically. "This may come as a surprise, but I do not find that fun."

Monica looked at him, her eyes stormy and her voice rising. "Well, I don't see why you can't at least show some interest in how I'm planning my wedding …"

Phoebe saw Chandler's expression change to something she could not be sure of, but it looked like real anger. "Oh, why?" he said in bitterly sarcastic tones. "I'm only the guy who's paying for it all, which is one thing that makes it our wedding – not just yours."

Monica breathed in and out audibly. Phoebe felt alarmed; she recognised danger signs.

"Guys, guys, calm down!" she said urgently. "This will produce really bad karma, which is the last thing you want at a wedding."

But they ignored her.

"You know perfectly well I don't mean to suggest it's just my wedding," Monica said angrily.

"Well, you keep on saying 'my'," Chandler pointed out. "What you might call a Freudian slip."

"Meaning?" Monica snapped.

"Meaning, subconsciously you think of the whole wedding as being about you," Chandler snapped back.

"Chandler, are you determined to make me mad?" said Monica in a suddenly steely voice. "Because you're certainly doing well, so far."

"It's my way of making you notice me," Chandler retorted.

"Guys!" Phoebe pleaded, unnerved by this sudden outbreak of mutual animosity. "You're saying things you're really gonna regret. Please stop this."

"You stay out of this, Phoebe," said Monica, keeping her gaze fixed on Chandler. Her fists were clenched. "Well, I guess I should be pleased that you are here to be noticed, for once," she said between her teeth.

"What do you mean, 'for once'?" Chandler said grittily.

"Because so often you're off with Joey!" Monica yelled.

Chandler jumped to his feet, very flushed. "I'm only around with him so much because there's no point in staying here, when you bite my head off every time I make the smallest suggestion, and I'm sick of it!"

"You're sick of it?" Monica repeated, also getting to her feet. "Well, let me tell you what makes me a little bit sick sometimes, mister." She wagged a finger in his face, and her voice was fierce. "When I think that this wedding isn't gonna change a damn thing. We'll be in the same apartment, hanging out in the same coffee house, having the same friends dropping in all the time – and you seem perfectly happy with everything being the same, for ever!"

"Hold it!" he cried, throwing up a hand dramatically. "You're the one who likes to be the hostess, the one who knocked herself out making all the Christmas candy, until I had to step in and stop it. Now you're saying you don't want any of that?"

Monica looked like a child that had been caught out in a lie. She ran her hands over her face and through her hair, and sighed. "No," she said eventually, in a much more subdued, almost girlish voice, "it's just that sometimes … just sometimes … I feel … exploited … and I want it … to stop."

Oh oh, thought Phoebe, we're getting to deep Monica here.

"Okay, I know I like to be the hostess," Monica continued in a stronger voice, "but sometimes I wish people wouldn't take it all for granted, but show a bit of gratitude." Her voice sharpened again and her face showed clear resentment. "Like Joey."

"Now what's your problem with Joey?" said Chandler sharply.

"He's constantly in and out of here, invading our privacy, helping himself to things, expecting breakfast always to be ready for him, but does he ever say thank you? No, it's like he has a right. And always he's trying to get you to go off and do stuff together, like he can't accept that your relationship with him can't be the way it was before, when we're committed to each other."

"I don't see why not," said Chandler stiffly. "He's my best friend. So, what, you're jealous of Joey? That's ridiculous."

"Is it?" Monica cried, suddenly looking furious again. "If we're gonna talk of Freudian slips, how about when you said you'd date him, as soon as you were asked, without thinking, right off the bat?"

Chandler's face flushed an even deeper red. "Monica, don't go there," he said in a strained voice. "That is very dangerous ground."

"Guys!" Phoebe shouted, trying to establish control of the situation, but it was too late – Monica was in full flow again.

"All right," she said, breathing rather hard, "I'll tell you something else that looks like it's gonna go on for ever, and makes me slightly sick – seeing you doing work you don't enjoy, because you're too scared to leave!"

For a moment Chandler looked thrown by this abrupt change in Monica's line of attack, but then his expression hardened again. "Well, there are things that make me sick, too," he shouted, "like the way I'm given no respect by the woman I'm going to marry!"

"It's hard to respect someone who sucks up to that obnoxious Doug the way you do!" Monica yelled. "Who doesn't even have the nerve to tell a co-worker his name's not Toby!"

"Stop it, stop it, stop it!" Phoebe shouted..

"And not just that," Chandler carried on, as if neither had spoken, "you don't show me love any more – you prefer to yell at me and bully me!"

Phoebe had never seen Monica look so mad. Oh God, she's completely lost it, she thought. Watching a shipwreck must be like this. You could see disaster coming, but were powerless to stop it.

"Well, then, if that's how you feel, maybe you shouldn't marry me!" Monica screamed. "Go marry Joey! You should be very happy with him, and I'm sure your father will approve!"

Phoebe gasped in shock, and Chandler froze. Even Monica seemed to realise at once that she had gone too far, and clapped a hand to her mouth, looking at Chandler with big apprehensive eyes.

"That does it," Chandler said slowly. He nodded. "Yes, that does it." Ignoring Monica, he turned to Phoebe. "Sorry about all the work you've put in, Pheebs, but there won't be a wedding now."

"What?" Monica cried, hands clutching her cheeks, staring at him as if he was some kind of terrifying ghost. "Chandler, I … I didn't really mean it … I was just … mad …"

"Yes, you did mean it," he replied evenly, "just like with Rachel. If you can say something like that to me, obviously you don't love me any more. I'll clear my stuff out later, when you're not here."

"You … you're … ending it," she said in a wondering voice, "just like that …" Phoebe hoped she would break down in tears, which might touch Chandler, but instead she seemed to draw herself up and fixed him with a death glare. "Go on, then – see if I care," she hissed.

"Goodbye!" he snapped, and marched out.

Phoebe looked at Monica, with no idea at all what to say. In the space of a minute or two, it seemed, everything had changed for the absolute worst.

Monica snorted. "He'll be back," she grated. "You just wait and see. He can't do without me."

"Monica, go after him, for God's sake," Phoebe said urgently. "Plead with him, cry … you can't let the best relationship you ever had just vanish into thin air like this."

Monica shook her head, looking obstinate. "I won't give him the satisfaction."

She set off for her bedroom, walking rather stiffly. Phoebe started after her, but Monica turned and gave her a clear 'don't follow me' look, then entered and slammed the door.

Phoebe let her go, and sat on the couch, wondering what on earth could be done to salvage the situation, while fearing that it was past being salvaged. Things had been said on both sides that it would be very hard to forgive, things that uncovered deep feelings. But they had not always felt like this at bottom, had they? She thought about it. Maybe all those years when Chandler was the friend who was in constant relationship trouble had instilled attitudes into Monica that were very hard to change. Maybe, too, he had let her get too used to bossing him around; he rarely stood up to her, but that was what you had to do with Monica. She herself had moved away rather than take all the crap. It seemed like, for a while, Monica might have learned her lesson, but no, her beasts were always there, waiting to be awakened: competitiveness, control freakery, obsession with cleanliness ... Maybe Chandler was well out of it – but this was probably going to break Monica's heart, and likely Chandler's too.

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"And so, he never did come back?" said Charlie, who seemed enthralled by the story.

Phoebe shook her head. "Nope. He moved back in with Joey and did just what he'd said he would – cleared all his stuff out of their apartment when Monica was at work. Ross, Joey and I all tried our best to reconcile them, to remind them how much they loved each other, but it was no use, even when you got involved," she said, looking at Rachel.

"Yeah," said Rachel, "as soon as I heard, I knew I couldn't keep feeling mad at Monica. I came running, all ready to hear the whole story and let her cry on my shoulder and do anything I could. But she was in a very strange mood. It was like she was too proud to show that the breakup was killing her, though that was obvious. When I tried to talk to her about Chandler and remind her of all the good things she used to say about him, she was either dismissive or got mad. Nothing would move her. She stopped saying Chandler would be back pretty soon, but she still couldn't bring herself to admit she'd brought it on herself by the way she handled it all."

"Yeah, and with Chandler, you just had to press a button and out it all came, " said Ross. "He would go on and on about Monica's bad side, just like he used to do over Janice. It was like he wanted to forget that he'd ever been in love with Monica."

"Who's Janice?" said Charlie.

They all looked at her in surprise. Then Phoebe looked at Ross and chuckled. "You didn't tell her about your little fling with Janice, then?"

Ross looked embarrassed. "It really wasn't an important part of my back history. I'll tell you about Janice later, Charlie."

"Janice was this incredibly annoying girl friend of Chandler's, who he kept taking up with and then dumping," Rachel explained to Charlie. "She had a very nasal voice, and an awful laugh, and lots of tedious mannerisms, but there was this one time when they were really in love."

"Yeah, but when they broke up, and then met again – remember the Yemen thing?" said Phoebe.

They all snickered and shook their heads, while Charlie looked at them rather blankly. Phoebe hastily explained, and Charlie burst out laughing.

"You mean, he went through all that, just because he couldn't face telling her that he no longer had feelings for her?" she spluttered between laughs. She tried to get control of herself, "I know I shouldn't laugh, when he's your friend, but …" She shook her head and went off again.

"Well, that was Chandler for you," said Rachel slowly, not looking altogether pleased that Charlie seemed to find it so funny.

Ross sighed. "Yeah, that was Chandler."

"I'm sorry," said Charlie, looking at them sympathetically. "I know, when you get close to people, you tend to accept them just as they are," she said. "You don't really expect them to change. I have friends like that."

"Oh, but Chandler did change," said Phoebe. "His experience with Monica was sort of good for him that way. He learned about how to stay really close to a woman for a long time, over two years, and he lived with her for more than one. And her behaviour finally drove him to confront this situation where, deep down, he was unhappy, and do something about it. You could see that he had become more confident, even in the, like, breakup situation."

"So, what happened next?" said Gunther rather impatiently. He had been away serving customers and now had come back and was obviously bored with this discussion of Chandler's character.

"Well, for a while it was really uncomfortable," said Phoebe. "Because there Chandler was on the other side of the hallway, and Monica would do everything she could to avoid meeting him, and I guess he was the same. Joey, poor guy, was really torn between them, but mainly he was loyal to Chandler, so he did not come over very often. And of course we stopped hanging out as a group here."

"I have to admit, at first I was nervous about seeing Ross again, too," said Rachel. "I was feeling … kind of guilty. And then, no way was Monica running the risk of meeting Chandler. So she and I started going to another place for coffee."

"Then Chandler did something really decisive," said Phoebe. "He found his own apartment and moved out."

"And he jacked in the job he hated, and looked for something else," said Ross. "He had the money that had been going to be spent on the wedding to support himself. And he actually landed an internship at an advertising firm, and did so well that he got offered a real job."

"But it's like, all these changes encouraged Joey to think of changing too," said Phoebe. "He said it was something he'd always wanted to do, and that was, move to LA to try to make it in the movies over there. He didn't think New York was stretching him enough as an actor." She tried and failed to suppress a giggle, and Ross and Rachel snickered and wagged their heads in recognition of Joey's somewhat starry-eyed view of his quality as an actor. "He really meant it, though, because he went, even though you could see, it was really hurting him to leave Chandler, who wouldn't throw up his new job and go to LA with him. But they exchange visits quite often, I believe."

"Dear old Joey," said Rachel. "I hope he shows."

"I think he will," said Phoebe. "He's always been good about seeing me when he's in New York."

"Yeah, so that's all about them," said Charlie, plainly not very interested, "but what I want to know is, what about Monica? What happened to her?"

"You don't know?" said Rachel in surprise. "I mean, she is Ross's sister."

Ross looked embarrassed. "Well, you know, I stopped coming around much during the bad time. She would go on and on about what a useless guy Chandler was and I just couldn't take it. Hell, the guy was my friend, he was my best man when I married Carol, and, and Emily too." He looked nervously at Rachel, but she simply smiled at him reassuringly.

"If we hadn't been so drunk, maybe we'd have called him in for our Vegas wedding," she remarked lightly.

Ross smiled, evidently relieved that she did not object to any reference to Emily. "And there weren't the opportunities to meet, when we stopping getting together regularly in Central Perk," he continued. "We both had demanding jobs. And that year, she didn't throw a Thanksgiving party."

"She told me, she just couldn't face it – she'd have been crying all over the place," said Rachel, with a sigh. "That was the closest she came to admitting her unhappiness over the breakup."

Ross nodded. "We speak on the phone fairly often, but we have rather got out of the habit of meeting, and so I haven't had the occasion to introduce her to Charlie yet."

"Yeah, and there's lots here you never told me," said Charlie a bit tartly, "but I have noticed, you've been a bit reticent about discussing your family, especially your sister. I guessed there were problems there, though you were obviously very close in previous years. I can see now why it might be a painful subject. And we've only just got engaged, Rachel, so I guess Ross is still planning how to introduce me to his family." She grinned at him.

Perceiving that Charlie was really interested in Monica's story, Phoebe continued. "One way she took to get over the breakup was to throw herself into her work. She became a real workaholic."

"Yeah, she hardly ever took a break from that restaurant," said Rachel. "She wouldn't even try to date. I tried often enough to get her out there again, but I got zilch response, so I kind of gave up. And I wasn't seeing her so much, either, because I had my own work, and I was really trying to get somewhere with it. And then there was her breakdown …"

"Breakdown?" said Charlie sharply.

Ross sighed. "I hoped that wouldn't come up, but, yeah, Monica had a breakdown." He said no more, looking rather gloomy.

"Well, aren't you going to tell me about it?" said Charlie, sounding exasperated. "How come I never heard any of this before? Rachel, maybe you can fill me in. I mean, it sounds fairly important, though she must have got over that too, going by other things you've said. Was it an after-effect of the breakup with Chandler?"

"Why not ask me?" said a soft voice. "I'm the best qualified to tell you."

They all turned, to see Monica smiling at them. Obviously she had seen them and sneaked up quietly, and had overheard part of their conversation.