Why? is all i ask. (yet u sill never respond)
reality, my dear old friend are you
watching
for i know you've scared away hope and joy
but have
u gone to chase love too.
i cry at night
will
for sleep to come
try to lull myself
from this perpetual
agony
sometimes it comes
waiting at the door
mocking my
tears
and hitting me cold
it travels behind reality
in
stealth awaiting to bring upon false hope
do u know of which i
speak?
the kind u bring
the kind i took
so
willingly
sometimes i wonder
was i too afraid to love you
so
i never gave u the chance
or was i just too knowing
and
realized the truth
reality, my dear old friend are you
watching
for i know you've scared away hope and joy
but have
u gone to chase love too.
i can feel it
the bitterness glazing
over my mouth
the agony penetrating my mind
i can hold the
regret.
there are so many things i wish i could change
and so
many moments i wish i could keep
but i know that they have
gone
passed the spring and the snow
to come full circle
till
it was all too late
now i've given up.
there's really
noting left
except for the faded memories
and cradled
pictures
tears fall when i think about how it could have been
but
its not until i realize how it became
that the pain ascends and
the anguish whimpers
reality, my dear old friend are you
watchingfor i know you've scared away hope and joy
but have
u gone to chase love too.
have you any idea how i torture my self
with the thoughts
better
than knives
for the truth scars the mind and the life!
i know i
don't deserve u
but neither does she.
yet u still gave her the
chance and not me
why?
WHY!
she will never love you as i
have
she will never truelly carei
you know, as well as i do, that she dosent really understand
so why?
is she the best u can
do
no,
but i'm not either
i'm not worthy
of
anything
u made me feel worthy
but i know its not true
i
know that its just abhorrence
that convinces u to turn my way
so
no longer shall i love you
it pains me to speak the
truth
eventually i wont
i will forget u
passing sands
through an hourglass
time ticking
but love withholding
so
i must know.reality, my dear old friend are you watching
for
now that hope has left me
and love has said its goodbyes
the
cold seeps in through the door
bring a forgotten death upto the
skies
--me (june 23, 2006)