The World to Come
by Eildon Rhymer
What if the Dark had won at the end of Silver on the Tree? The world is sliding into darkness, and only tattered remnants of the Light remain. Will, Bran and the Drews grow to adulthood, and each to their own destiny in this World to Come.
Part three: chapter fourteen
Forgiveness
Some things could never be forgiven.
Bran sat in the darkness of an upstairs room in a dingy house. He could not hear what was being said downstairs, but he did not need to hear it.
They were drawing together, these brothers and their childhood friend. They were bonding, these men who had never wavered from the Light, who had never failed a test.
They were excluding him, and he hated it, and he hated them for it, and he deserved it.
He started to pace. You will never be forgiven, said the creak on the floorboards with every step. Never be forgiven, breathed the air outside. Never be forgiven.
He stopped at the window, leaning on the windowsill, staring at the darkness outside. If he let his mind drift, he could hear the voice of his dark guardian. If he let himself drift even further, he could almost see his mother, calling him back.
Come back to us, Pendragon. Come back to the Dark. We will forgive. You will have power as if none of this has happened. You will be loved…
Love. He bowed his head. The Dark had never loved him, had never shown him tenderness. His mother had spoken of love, but he had never seen her again, and it had been a lie anyway. The Light could not love him now, but the Dark offered nothing better. Only power. Only blood. Only fear.
It is better to be feared than cast aside.
He pressed his forehead to the glass. "Will," he whispered. "Help me. I'm so alone." Words never to be said out loud. Words that could never even be thought again.
Blindly, he pushed away from the window, and headed for the dim light of the stairs. Two steps down he managed, then, faltering, a third. "I remember!" he heard Barney gasp, and, "It was Bran! He betrayed us." That was Simon, horrified, triumphant.
Bran crept back into the darkness. They knew. Will had given them their memories back, so they knew the full horror of what he had done. There could be no hiding behind ignorance. They knew that the Light had fallen because of him. Will might speak soft words that pretended forgiveness, but Barney and Simon never would.
He sank down beneath the window, his knees to his chest as he curled up against the wall. He would never be forgiven if he stayed with the Light. He would never have peace of mind. He would never be free from this guilt. He would never be happy. He would never be loved.
Were the laughing downstairs now? He pressed his hands to his ears so he would not hear them. Will had known the Drews before he had known Bran, and the Drews had never betrayed him. Old friendships would win over new ones. Unblemished ones would conquer those that were rotten to the core.
If he stayed with the Light, he would be despised forever. If he stayed with the Light, he would despise himself forever.
If he returned to the Dark...
"No!" he moaned. "No!" He drove his forehead against the wall, and longed for and dreaded footsteps on the stairs.
End of part three: chapter fourteen