Regardless of the fact that a grown woman such as myself is not dignified hiding from her youngest children in the front coat closet, that's where I am. Why, you ask? Well. It's all Tom's fault this time. It really is. He decided to take Nigel and Kyle out to the football stadium for practice this afternoon, and let me tell you, Nigel, Kyle, and a football do not mix. They managed to get into the equipment room and "borrow" a hockey puck, a football, a baseball bat, and a shin guard (just one) and sneak it ALL into the car without Tom noticing.

In all honesty, I'm not quite sure how they managed to sneak everything into the house without me or anyone else noticing.

Although I'm not quite sure no one else DID notice, I mean Mark, Mike and Jake and probably Sarah and Kim would have gone along with the plan and wanted to help with it, whatever the so-called "plan" actually is. It kind of looks like Nigel and Kyle got a hold of a dart set, glued the darts to the equipment, and they are throwing it around the house.

It's kind of pointless to stop them. They're WEARING hockey padding, they can't really get hurt.

As far as I know, Lorraine has barricaded herself in the upstairs bathroom, Jessica is at the library, Henry's at band practice (as usual), Jake and Mike are outside playing ping-pong, and Mark is reading upstairs in his room, with the door locked. Kim is in the downstairs bathroom, in the bathtub (I will probably never know exactly why, but my theory is that when she was little, I told her that bathrooms were the safest place from tornadoes, even better if you could get inside a bathtub – it does sound a bit like a tornado is coming through the house), and do believe that Tom is in the car, listening to his stereo. So, that left the front coat closet for me to take refuge in.

I wonder when this will be over. It shouldn't last---

--- NIGEL AND KYLE ARE GOING TO BE GROUNDED FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES, I SWEAR, IF THEY'VE BROKEN THAT CHANDELIER. LORRAINE POLISHED THAT LAST WEEK, AND THEY BETTER NOT HAVE BROKEN IT. SERIOUSLY, THAT IS THE FOURTH CHANDELIER WE'VE—NO—FIFTH? AHH. I've lost count.

To Do List

-- don't call repair company
-- invest in lamps

-- clean up front hallway

-- ground Kyle and Nigel

-- make sure everyone gets out of their hiding places

-- buy cheese and bread

-- calmly ahem talk to Tom about letting Nigel/Kyle into the equipment room

-- calmly talk to Tom about letting Nigel/Kyle out of the house

-- buy more hockey padding, for own safety