Who Was She Chapter 1
I do not own Encanto or any of its characters
She was so close. She had been so close to fulfilling what she had perceived to be her destiny. The cracks were disappearing, the candle burned brighter, and her family was beginning to forgo the pressure of perfection. For once in a very long time, she had been noticed… she had been of use to her family.
She bore witness to how vulnerable and overworked Luisa was, she offered her support and encouraged her to not take on so much.
She finally knew the truth concerning Bruno's disappearance, they had bonded over their outcast status and she promised to bring him home.
And she had finally reached a common ground with Isabela, she had given her an outlet to channel her inner emotions and newfound powers.
Everything was coming to ruin, and yet it was finally getting better. That's what she thought at least.
And yet, here she was, on the receiving end of disappointment once more.
"You have to stop Mirabel!"
She froze. Despite what many may believe, Abuela Alma never raised her voice in such a matter when it came to her grandchildren. Not even to Mirabel. She had always possessed a stern demeanor, but it never got to such a point.
"The cracks started with you!"
No, they didn't. If what Bruno said was true, then they had been in the process of showing for some time now. It wasn't her fault that she had been the first to notice and acknowledge them.
"Bruno left because of you!"
That wasn't true. He left because people only saw the worst in him, over something he couldn't even control. The pressure of being perfect, of catering to other people, had finally gotten the best of him. He couldn't take it anymore. It clear that he didn't blame her for his disappearance, rather, he felt as if he was going the whole world a favor. He had protected his niece, and saved himself from further criticism and isolation.
"Luisa's losing her powers, Isabela's out of control, because of you!"
That wasn't possible. Luisa and Isabela had been succumbing to the pressure their powers placed on them. She had never seen Luisa break down in such a manner before, her sister had always been the strong one, the one who always held things together. So when she finally confirmed what she had been fearing, she didn't blame her. Rather, she wished for her to focus on herself for a change.
As for Isabela, someone who had been so close to during childhood but drifted apart as the years went on, she had finally spoken the truth. She had been under a different kind of pressure compared to Luisa. As strange as it sounded, but there were stresses to being the golden child. Her eldest sister had confided to her about how everything she did, she did for this family. Instead of laughing at her face, and encouraged her to be more open with not just herself, but to those around her as well.
Despite their differences, Mirabel could never say that she hated either of them. Contrary to popular belief, she didn't resent her family. Yes, maybe she had her moments of envy and sorrow, but she didn't hate them. She would never do anything to hurt them. She loved each and every one of them, they had made her proud to be called a Madrigal.
"I don't know why you weren't given a gift, but it is not an excuse to hurt this family!"
That had hurt.
Mirabel could handle being called giftless and being classified as not special compared to the other shining stars, but that was going too far. She didn't know why she wasn't given a gift, she didn't think she did anything wrong for that to happen. But it did, and it continued to haunt her to this very day. It defined her entire existence.
Try as she might, but she could never entirely deny the sting of such a fact.
However, it wasn't fair that she was being accused of hurting this family! That's not what she wanted! She only wanted to be of use to them, to show them that she was just as special as them! Gift or no gift, she had only wanted to make her family proud. And yet, it hurt her to think that others thought otherwise.
Abuela Alma, the matriarch of her family, the one who had tried to prove herself to time and time again, had said such harsh words. In that moment, it was difficult for her to remember a time where her grandmother had adored her. Back before her failed ceremony, Abuela had willingly taken her into her arms, showered her with love and affection, and promised her a future of wonder. Alma had waited so eagerly for her time to shine, and to join the constellation that was their family.
You are a wonder, Mirabel Madrigal. Whatever Gift awaits, will be just as special as you.
She had said those words without any hesitation, and it was something Mirabel had taken to heart even after all these years. Back when she thought the love her grandmother had for her was endless. And yet, here they were.
What made this whole situation even worse was that Mirabel could find no uncertainty in her voice, her expression didn't waver as she spoke such poisonous accusations. This was what her grandmother had thought of her, these were the feelings she had kept hidden ever since the day of her failed ceremony. They must have been, for Mirabel could find no other reason for this disposition.
Abuela Alma had defined her family based on their gifts, and when Mirabel didn't meet those expectations, she had labeled her based on that.
A failed gift ceremony… a failure. That's what she was in the eyes of Alma.
Tears welled up in her eyes, she felt as if her heart could crack in a similar way that her home was currently doing. But now, that worry didn't seem to matter anymore. Mirabel found herself ignoring the Casita as more and more fragments became apparent. Even the world around her seemed to dull, as a gray color consumed their normally bright and lively house.
Mirabel felt her hands tightened into fists, her body shaking as a storm of raw emotions swirled inside her, just waiting to come out. She wondered if this is what her Tía Pepa constantly battled on a day to day basis. If so, then she finally understood how such a gift could be a curse, something she had been learning with the rest of her relatives. One by one, they had been showing her how such gifts could consume their lives, to the point where they didn't have time for themselves anymore. But no one seemed to notice that… she had been the first.
Just recently, she felt as if she could connect with them on same level for the first time. They had bonded over their insecurities, and the pressures they faced when you're a part of a family as grand as the Madrigals. They had kept everything inside for so long, that they didn't know any other way of life. She had been guilty of that as well, even if her situation hadn't been the same as everyone else's.
However, despite her best efforts to keep it all inside, like she always did, she couldn't help herself as she finally allowed the hurt to be expressed.
"I… will never be good enough for you… will I?"
It was an honest question, one she had never asked to anyone before. Despite her parents' best attempts to assure her was special, that she mattered, it didn't help with the pain. If anything, their methods of comforting her had only worsened the anguish. She loved them dearly, yes, but sometimes she questioned their intentions.
It was easy for her Papá to share his experiences, he wasn't expected to get a gift, he didn't have the same burdens as her, someone who had been born with the Madrigal blood. Unlike him, she had been expected to receive a gift, and everyone was disappointed with the failure to achieve that goal. He had desired for others to notice how Mirabel shined in her own special way, just like he did. Agustín's wishes for his youngest daughter would never come true though, because no one had ever taken him seriously due to his status. It wasn't just his clumsy demeanor and goofy antics that made it nearly impossible to take him seriously. At the end of the day, Agustín only served to sire children for the Madrigal bloodline, he wasn't born into the family.
And her Mamá, she meant well, she couldn't deny that, but it was easy for her to say such kind words when she had a gift herself. Try as she might, but her Mamá could never truly understand her. And at times, it almost seemed like Julieta had taken what she had for granted. At least she didn't have the strain of being classified as a failure, at least she didn't bare the shame of having a failed ceremony. Besides, Julieta could only shield her for so long and for so much. Julieta loved her, she didn't doubt that, but she also loved Abuela too. For forty five years Julieta had lived with high expectations, to the point where she never questioned them, no matter who they were directed towards. And that included her to the degree.
They had always defended her when they could, but even that didn't seem to be enough. Because deep down, Mirabel was sure she had disappointed them in some way too. Her Tía Pepa and Tío Félix could say that all of their children had been blessed with a gift, something that allowed for them to join the constellation of Madrigals. But Julieta and Agustín hadn't been so fortunate, sometimes she wondered whether or not they received criticism for creating a giftless child. Did anyone think her parents were defective because of her creation?
Perhaps that's why they weren't even attempting to stop Abuela from scolding her at the moment. She watched them as they stood in the background, beside her sisters, the only two blessed children. One, the embodiment of perfection and beauty, and the other, a living example of strength and allure. They were everything that she could never be. And that only added to the knife that was currently piercing her heart at the moment.
It seemed as though she wasn't good enough for anyone.
"No matter how hard I try…"
She had done everything in her power to make her family proud. And yet none of that seemed to matter. No one brought up how she had helped Antonio conquer his worries and fears concerning his ceremony. No one brought up how she had given Luisa a chance to finally express the stresses she felt every day. No one brought up how she had encouraged Isabela to be honest with herself for a change.
No one brought up any of the good she had done! What was the point then! What was the point of doing any of this!
She hated herself, not a single day went by where her family didn't remind her of that! They all just stood there with their gifts and talents, and just casted her aside more times than she could count. She knew she didn't have any powers, but did that really make her unbearable to live with? Were they ashamed of being related to her? Was she really that much of a stain on her family?
Who was she? Was she truly good for nothing? Was that her purpose in life? Was she meant to be the scapegoat for all of the Madrigals problems?
Was that who she was?
Mirabel clutched onto her skirt, something she had put so much heart into. Every little stitch encompassed all that her family was. Small, intricate designs incorporated every single person of her family. It had been her way of showcasing what her true gift was: her household. She had been blessed to be born in a magical and fantastical lineage such as them. But no one saw that for those intentions, instead, it was seen as a desperate attempt to stand out from the crowd. And now, she could finally admit that's what it was… she was truly pathetic.
She hated this. She hated herself… she hated it all.
Her negative thoughts consumed her mind as the cracks overtook the Casita. The world continued to darken as the jagged lines grew larger and spread across every corner of Madrigal household. But Mirabel just couldn't find herself caring anymore. Everyone seemed to be conceived that she was only trying to hurt her family rather than help them. And if that's what they thought, then what was the point of even attempting anymore?
She had been trying all her life to be something she wasn't. Well, no more. She didn't know who she was anymore. But she did know what she was feeling at the moment.
After all that had happened, she knew what she had to do. Or rather, what she wanted to do. And so, with a heart heavy with burden and ache, she confronted those accusations head on. She looked Alma right in the eyes, and allowed for her inner emotions to take control. With tears still welled up in her eyes, and standing stronger than she did before, she lashed out in a way no one had ever seen before. She uttered three words no one ever thought they would hear from her… only because they had assumed it was impossible.
Well, they thought wrong.
"I hate you."
That was it. Three simple little words. Altogether they didn't seem to be like much, but when they were crafted by someone like Mirabel Madrigal, it was as if the whole world had come crashing down.
It was clear they their intended effect, as Alma's expression became dumbfounded. Her eyes widened with disbelief, or at least, that's what it looked like. Her mouth agape, as a silent gasp escaped her lips. In that moment, she didn't look like the all-powerful and wise matriarch this whole town seemed to portray her as. The woman whom her family had been so eager to please and obey. Instead, she looked like the old lady she truly was… so withered, fragile, and broken.
But Mirabel didn't pay too much attention to it, or to the stunned looks on the rest of her family's faces. Her mother held a hand over her mouth, clearly not fighting her tears anymore as they streamed down her face like rivers. Her expression was that of a shattered individual, almost as if she refused to believe her confession. And yet, much like with Alma, she could find no hesitation in Mirabel's voice. That's when she knew, what Mirabel was saying, was true.
Her father, he looked just a broken as his wife, his hand clutched over his heart as his mouth stood wide open for all to see. Mirabel had always been his baby girl, the one who could never do no wrong. He had heard Isabela and Luisa utter such words time and time again, but not his innocent and sweet little girl. Such words didn't match her at all, and yet, she had used them so freely and easily. It was almost as if they had been festering inside her all this time, and were just waiting to be used against those who hurt Mirabel.
Isabela and Luisa looked shook up, their faces conveying a mixture of confusion and hurt. They didn't think Mirabel had been capable of such emotions. Their younger sister had always been the portrayal of sunshine and happiness, but that didn't seem to be the case anymore. That was the old Mirabel, this new Mirabel looked disarrayed and exhausted. Such dark feelings didn't match the youngest Madrigal granddaughter at all, and yet they were proven wrong.
Then there were the gasps that echoed in the air. She couldn't see who they belonged to, but she was sure it was either Pepa, Dolores or Antonio… or maybe a combination of all of them. But they had no right to judge her now, not after all that had happened.
The shackles of this house and ancestry couldn't hold her back any longer, Alma had not held back when it came to accusing her. So why shouldn't she extend that favor?
Mirabel had enough, this was too much. The pressure was threatening to make her collapse alongside the Casita. Her arms loosened as they gently fell to her sides as her gaze now focused on the door that lied beyond her Abuela. For a moment, everything seemed to go silent as the world stopped moving.
This was the calm before the storm.
Suddenly, her body was overcome with a newfound strength she was sure she never possessed before. Her legs got into the proper stance as her arms tightened, her eyes were on the prize. Within seconds, she took off with great speed. She pushed past Alma, not caring that the force was strong enough to knock her down. Another series of gasps erupted throughout the falling Casita, but Mirabel paid them no mind as she reached her destination. She reached for the handle for the last time, but not before feeling the familiar touch of her mother grabbing at her shoulder. Under normal circumstances, that may have been enough to calm her down. But now, it was nothing more than a pathetic attempt to keep her from falling apart. Mirabel scoffed as she slapped the maternal hand away.
She closed her eyes, the tears finally escaping their prisons as they rained upon her face. With a strong grip, she tore the door open, but not before finally unleashing the final storm.
"I hate all of you!"
She hated Abuela Alma for showcasing how love was conditional, and for always alienating her amongst the Encanto and her own family.
She hated Julieta for always seeming to choose her mother over her own daughter, and for always talking down to her with empty promises and meaningless praises.
She hated Agustín for never choosing his words more carefully, and not realizing how much of a profound and negative effect they had on her.
She hated Isabela for giving up on her so early in their childhood, and for choosing perfection and reputation over her own sister.
She hated Luisa for not sticking up for her when she had always extended that courtesy to her, she could move the mountains but she couldn't spare a moment for her.
She hated Pepa for holding herself with such high regard, for thinking that she was better just because all of her children were so blessed and for being so quick to place blame onto others.
She hated Félix for always standing by his wife's side, for he never dared to speak out against her, he never took the time to understand her position.
She hated Dolores for not being able to keep her mouth shut over the matter of her safety and position in the family, and for never failing to remind others that she didn't get a gift so nonchalantly.
She hated Camilo for being so indifferent to this entire situation, he had been nothing but a constant reminder of a successful ceremony compared to her failed one since they had been born the same year.
As for Antonio… she could never claim to hate the child due to the positon he held within her heart. Compared to everyone else, he had never wronged her in any way. But how long would that last? He had only acquired his gift, but how long would it be before he casted her aside in order to focus on using his gift to strengthen the community. She was sure that he would one day become like the other Madrigal children, because no one had ever proven her wrong about the matter.
And Bruno… well… Bruno was Bruno… what was there to hate? Out of all her relatives, he had been the only one to regard her safety with such importance. If there was anyone she would regret leaving behind it would be him, she was only sorry she would never make her promise to him come true.
But other than Antonio and Bruno, it was settled, she truly hated everyone.
Including herself.
With that, she slammed the door behind her as she ran as far as she could away from this horrible place. There was no hope or a future for her here in the Encanto. She couldn't be free if she stayed. And so, her legs carried her as she made her way through the community, she paid no attention to the world crumbling down before her. She could feel the vibrations of the cracks as they made their way throughout the land, she even heard the screams of the people as they bore witness to the inevitable breakdown of her former home. Rocks, bricks, wood, tile, paint, furniture… everything that her Abuelo Pedro had given them with his sacrifice was quickly disappearing now. That was when she knew Casita had fallen, but she was too far away to do anything about it. Besides, it's not like she could change fate.
Not anymore at least.
Not even Casita's collapse could force her to look back, she was too focused on escaping from the pressures of her past. Slowly, but surely, she could feel herself becoming less and less of the Encanto as she made her way into the surrounding forest. Its self-sufficient paradise no longer held her there, she felt free of it all. She knew was leaving a life behind, but she was too afraid and hurt to grieve.
She had loved Casita, in the same way she had loved her family. But what other choice did she have? She had only wanted to make her family proud, instead, she had brought them to ruin. And for that, she didn't deserve to be here anymore. She couldn't go back after all she had said and done. She didn't know where she was going, but she couldn't stay here, she had to keep running… she had to get away.
Her legs burned as her heart was overworking itself to the point of exhaustion, tears stung her eyes and her face became heated with a mixture of rage and sorrow. She could feel branches and rocks hitting her person, scratching her legs and arms, tearing through her clothes, and ripping away some parts of her hair. However, none of that mattered, she just kept going. Mirabel Madrigal was an unstoppable force at the moment, nothing could get in her way.
She didn't notice anything around her, nor did she care.
She didn't even see the small golden butterfly following her trail.
End scene