After the trip back from the middle school, during which I had to drive and listen to what Sarah, Jake, and Mark had done with whipped cream that day, I had to go back out and go to the grocery store. I took Kim and Jessica with me, because with Lorraine being obsessed with cleaning the house, they are the most mature.
And the most likely to carry groceries into the house without breaking eggs or something.
Just as I was debating between normal salad or potato salad (or both), my cell phone rang. I used to not have a cell phone, but Nora insisted that I get one, because one of the kids is always using the home phone.
"Hello?" I said.
"Mom? It's Henry," said Henry.
"Hi, Henry. What do you need? Toothpaste? Soap? Speak now."
"No, I don't need anything from the store, but Jake needs a new toothbrush."
"I got him one last week! What happened to it?"
Silence.
"No, I don't want to know. What were you saying?"
"Well," Henry continued, "I don't want to alarm you, but Nigel has decided that he'd like to swim in the Shenks' swimming pool..."
"That's fine, as long as he was invited, and--"
"...with no swimsuit."
"Oh."
"...or other clothing."
"OH."
"Yeah, so um... the Shenks are going nuts, and Jake and Sarah are in the backyard launching underwear into the pool..."
God bless Jake and Sarah. We need new neighbors. But I couldn't exactly tell that to Henry.
"Tell Nigel to get out of the pool, or there will be consequences. Are you sure it's Nigel? Because usually it's Kyle that likes to go out in public... indecently."
"Oh, no. It's Nigel."
"Oh. Well, get him out of the pool, and make sure that the underwear launching stops." As an afterthought, I added, "And if you can't stop it completely, tell them that they need their underwear, and to launch something else, like your father's socks."
"You know they had those? The socks, I mean."
"Who else would have taken them? Anyway, Henry, I have to go buy food for tonight. Any suggestions?"
"Uh... Something that has—AHHHH MIKE GET OFF ME—NO! AHHHH—"
Click.
Once again, I was on my own to deal with the shopping. All Kim and Jessica wanted to get were school supplies.
To Do List
-- Collect socks and underwear from the Shenks' pool
-- Lock up remaining socks in fireproof box
-- Laundry detergent
-- Take Lorraine to a furniture store. Do not let her buy anything.
-- Have Tom give Nigel severe talk about wearing clothes in public
-- Have Tom give Kyle severe talk about wearing clothes in public
-- Make sure Mike doesn't use his karate on Henry
A/N: If anyone has ideas for a Some People Think chapter, please let me know! You can e-mail me at charmleyatgmaildotcom if you have any suggestions.