Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi

Peter and I walked into school he had his arm wrapped awkwardly around my waist. I looked at him and gave him my best sad eyes and he wrapped his arm tighter and smiled. I kissed his cheek. Jay who was coming down the hall stopped in his tracks causing a few freshmen to trip. I turned towards Peter and kissed him hard on the lips. His eyes grew wide and he just stood there until I poked him and he tried to get into it. I pulled away after awhile and Peter gulped. Jay looked shocked. I gave him a you screwed up smile. And he walked away defeated.

"Emma that wasn't part of the deal" Peter's voice came out squeaky.

"Yea I know I'm sorry but I panicked."

"Try not to panic again if you keep kissing me I might lose my sanity all together!"

"Didn't realize I was such a good kisser" I smiled.

"Come on I'll walk you to class" he shook his head.

Homeroom was boring without Snake. He really made it fun. Most of the time at least. His replacement was this stuffy old lady who reminded me of the principal In Matilda. After homeroom as I was walking out Jay pulled me into an empty classroom.

"What the hell?"

"What's going on with you and Peter?"

"It's none of your business."

"Emma if you're just trying to punish me there are so many other ways but I believe this would be considered cruel and unusual punishment."

"It's not punishment Jay I happen to like Peter now if you'll excuse me I have a class to get to."

"Em…"

"It's Emma" I said icily. I felt bad. I still loved Jay. What if after all this he finds out I was just trying to punish him and doesn't like me anymore. I turned around and looked at him. He looked truly hurt. I couldn't let him get away with it. Manny was right he needed to be taught a lesson.

Peter and I went the rest of the day acting like a couple. After school I went right home. If I wasn't out I didn't have to pretend to like Peter. It was starting to creep me out. I got into my jammies and started my night in. Then the phone rang. As a habit I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Emma it's Alex don't hang up."

"Give me a reason not to."

"Jay."

"Sorry not enough of a reason bye"

"Emma wait he's really sorry and it killed him seeing you with uh Peg."

"Peter."

"Uh yea I guess he really needs you and I shouldn't have kissed him really I'm sorry I was just really upset and needed to be with someone familiar I shouldn't have I mean I knew he was with you now." I started crying. "What's wrong?"

"You shouldn't be sorry Alex I helped him cheat on you."

"Yeah I know but you and I both know that was different. Back to what I was saying if you're at all worried about your boyfriend or ex-boyfriend's liver I suggest you get to the ravine."

"Alex I can't I'm babysitting I'll talk to him tomorrow."

"If he doesn't have a hangover"

"Just take it away."

"You think I didn't try that I did then he just got out his old stash of oxycontin."

"W what"

"Look Emma I've got to make sure he doesn't overdose come or don't come but if you don't come you're just as much of a bitchas I always thought you were" she hung up.

I looked around the room. Then walked outside. I got to the ravine it was pretty dead. I looked around then spotted Jay and Alex sitting at the table. Jay looked like he was sleeping peacefully but I knew he had passed out. I walked over to the bench and sat across from him.

"He's knocked out cold."

"Did he take any?"

"No" she shook her head.

I nodded and sighed in relief.

"This is weird" Alex said.

"It's weird."

"Very weird"

"Fucking weird" Jay mumbled.

Alex and I laughed.

"I forced him to watch it with me once" I looked at him.

"Forced? I highly doubt you were actually forcing him to watch it he went to New York to see it on Broadway a few years ago with his mom he liked it."

I laughed "No wonder he was humming."

We both laughed.

"We should get him home Sam is probably worried."

"Sam she let's you call her Sam."

"Yeah"

"Congratulations his mother likes you wait till you meet his grandfather he's horrible."

"James isn't horrible I talk to him on a daily basis I just talked to him this morning."

"Incredible" she shook her head. I got up and started pulling Jay off the bench toward me. When he got off the edge I fell backward. Thankfully he ell the other way and didn't even touch me.

"He's heavier than he looks" I laughed.

Alex grabbed one arm and I got up and grabbed another arm and pulled him up. Alex fished his keys out of his pocket and threw them to me. I caught them. We put Jay in the back of the car. Alex got in the passenger seat and I walked around to the driver's side and got in.

"Are you sure he won't mind me driving his car?"

"Well no I don't really know if he'll mind but I do know that if I drive it he'll be really mad so I think you should drive."

"Ok" I put the car in drive nervously.

"So what happened yesterday?"

"Oh nothing I was just upset that Paige had a boyfriend."

"That's got to hurt."

"Yea" she nodded.

"So what's going on with you and Peter all I got out of Jay was she lubs peppy pepper."

"Peter is just a friend of mine he's just helping me do exactly what I told Jay I wasn't doing."

"You're punishing him by pretending to go out with peppy pepper."

I nodded.

"That's brilliant" she said sincerely "seriously that's brilliant you really screwed him up."

"That wasn't the plan thought I just wanted to get him jealous."

"Well that worked too."

"I didn't think he'd act like this I just thought he'd get jealous and either give me a reason why I shouldn't get back together with him or give me a reason to forgive him."

"Emma he threw out months of sobriety because he was so upset I think that shows you just how much he cares about you."

"Months"

"Months"

"If I were him I would hate me."

"Yeah I would too."

"I blew it didn't I"

"Not necessarily Jay doesn't know you didn't really like Peter just keep up the Peter thing for awhile and forgive Jay try and build up a friendship again then tell Peter to break up with you and let Jay comfort you."

"That seems a little deceitful."

"Oh and what you did wasn't"

"No but I just want to be truthful with him from now on even if that means losing him."

"Noble."

"Stupid?"

"Very but then again you're in love."

I pulled into Jay's driveway and we helped him out of the car. The house was dark. We set him down in the living room. Then I heard someone crying and I walked into the family room. Sam was sitting on the couch crying.

"Sam?"

"Oh sorry" she wiped her face.

"No it's ok go ahead I was beginning to think you were some kind of superhero you seemed so strong it's good to know you're not."

"No I shouldn't I have to be strong that's what mothers do."

"Being sad doesn't make you a bad mother it just makes you human sitting in the dark with a box of tissues doesn't mean you're not strong it just means you're not stone."

"Thanks Emma" she smiled "I didn't expect to see you here after what happened."

"She helped me get Jay home" Alex walked in.

"What happened?"

"Oh nothing he just got a little tired" I tried to lie.

"Now tell me the truth."

"He got a little drunk" Alex said.

"I thought he was finally over that."

"So did I" Alex nodded.

"Well thanks for bringing him home girls"

"Do you want me to help you bring him upstairs" Alex asked.

"No I think I can handle it."

Alex nodded and left quickly waving good bye.

"Do you mind if I stay here tonight I'd rather not go back to an empty house?"

"Yea I'll kick Sean out of the guest room."

"No don't I can sleep on the couch."

"I really don't mind kicking him out."

"I'm sure you don't but I'd rather not be too much of a bother."

"Emma you're welcome here any time whether you're with Jay or not."

I smiled "I'll help you bring Jay up."

Together we got Jay up the stairs and into his bed.

"You can hang out in here I don't think there's any chance of him waking up the entire liquor cabinet is empty."

"Wow" my eyes widened.

"Well I'm going to bed night Emma."

"Night"

I sat next to jay's bed and looked at him. He looked so peaceful. I knew from the beginning that he and Alex were just friends. I understood that. It's not like they were making out or anything I just couldn't help thinking about how she was sitting there on his bed kissing him. I shouldn't have been so mean to him though.

"I'm really sorry jay" I cried. I shouldn't be crying I didn't purposely hurt him. Well ok yea I did but not this badly. The door creaked and my head spun around.

"Oh hey Emma I didn't know you were here sorry I'll just uh go" he turned around.

"No it's ok I could use some company anyways come on in" he walked and sat beside me on the floor.

"So how are you?"

"Good."

"Where's Manny?"

"She's staying at Liberty's house."

"Oh ok."

"I have to go can you do me a favor?"

"Yeah sure what's up?"

"Tell Sam thanks for letting me stay but I really had to go."

"Ok" he nodded.

I ran out of the room and the house. I couldn't stand being near him without actually being near him. He seemed ten thousand miles away when I was sitting mere inches away. I ran to Degrassi. The doors were open I leaned against the inside wall and slid down until I was sitting with my head resting on my knees. The place was dark. Only the two emergency lights lit the hallway. I started crying. I felt like Alice crying so much she could fill up the room. Although I felt about as small as she was after she drank the shrinking potion. I sat here crying and remembering everything that had happened in the past few weeks. I felt like an entire year had been crammed into a month. After awhile I fell asleep.