The dinner was a success.

Dessert was... not.

I think everything would have been perfectly fine if it hadn't been for my poor planning skills. Tuesday nights were the nights that Tom held football practice in the back yard. Today was Tuesday, so the entire Evanston High School football team (which consisted of more people than I could count, although Tom tells me that it is, in fact, forty-one) arrived at our house at approximately 7:00 PM, just as I was setting the dessert plates out.

If Jake hadn't come running out of the bathroom with a roll of toilet paper in his hands, going, "MOM, MARK HAD TOO MUCH CHICKEN!" I probably would have been there to catch the football when it came through the window. But no, I was heading toward the downstairs bathroom, holding my breath, when I heard the crash and the screaming.

"Mo-om! Dad's playing football again!"

"MOM! DAD BROKE THE WINDOW AGAIN!"

Ah. Lovely. More window replacements. Maybe the repair companies will give us a discount, since they practically live in this house, anyway...

"AAAAHHHHH!" said Jake.

"Jake walked all over the glass," said Kim, matter-of-factly.

I peeked into the room and saw Gunner, the dog, on the table, Jake doing a dance and singing... er... yelling... and Nigel and Kyle strewing toilet paper around the room just for the heck of it. Tom hadn't quite noticed the broken window, but he would soon.

Three...

Two...

One...

"WHERE'S THE FOOTBALL?" yelled one of the players on the team.

The counselors from the school were completely terrified by this point. Actually, I think they'd left awhile ago, but there were so many people running around that I couldn't really tell who was who.

"QUIET!" I yelled. Silence. Finally.

"Is there going to be pie?" asked Sarah.

"No," I growled in a low voice. "Would everyone who lives here PLEASE clean up broken glass – no, not you Jake... you've done enough – clear the table, or wash dishes. NOW!"

Everyone started working, and I got the broom. It was going to be a long night.

Four hours later, at midnight, after most of the kids were asleep, Tom came into our bedroom.

"Honey, I'm sorry about today. I shouldn't have had the team practicing drills so close to the windows, and--"

"I really don't want to hear it right now. Sarah and Henry had to board up that window! Lorraine and Jessica are wearing bandages on their fingers, and we are now several plates short because Mike, Kim, Nigel, and Kyle decided to play dish hockey. And don't even get me started on--"

"Kate, I--"

"You know what Tom? I can't deal with this right now. I just can't." I turned over and switched off the lamp.

TO DO LIST

-- Call repairman... again

-- Bandage up Jake's feet

-- See what the smell coming from the closet in the front hall is

-- Go to the grocery store

-- Call the counselors and apologize for hours and hours