Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi
I was awoken by
footsteps. Manny stood in front of me. Her head was tilted to the
side and she was shaking it. I stood up and she started laughing.
"You are so lucky I have a change of clothes" she handed me
her bag and I ran into the bathroom to change.
Inside was a loose
kind of flowy knee length pink skirt and a black and pink T-shirt. I
threw it on in one of the stalls then walked out. Darcy was standing
by the sink.
"I heard you and Jay broke up" she smiled.
"Yea" I nodded "we did."
"Great because you know
I've kind of been crushing on him since I started going out with
Spinner."
"What?"
"Now that he's free I have a chance
not that I didn't when you were together but it wouldn't be nice
to steal him away from someone so completely hopeless."
"Excuse
me."
"I don't know what he saw in you."
"That's it"
I walked closer to her and slapped her across the face. She grabbed
my hair and started pulling it. I pulled hers too. Somehow we ended
up in the hallway. Spinner pulled Darcy away and someone else pulled
me away too. I struggled to get away as Darcy just stood there
fuming. When Spinner took her away I spun around and my eyes met
Jay's.
"You ok?"
I nodded and attempted to fix my hair.
"Sean told me you came by last night."
"Yea I did."
Suddenly I couldn't stand this building. I walked to the door and
pushed it open. Jay followed me saying something I wasn't really
listening to.
"Where are you going" I spun around and kissed
him then continued walking as Degrassi got farther and farther away.
I could still hear Jay's footsteps behind me. I started running.
His pace picked up too. I never stopped or slowed down I just kept
running at that speed. Somehow I got to the ravine. I looked around
no one was there. I walked quickly to the table and sat down on it.
Jay walked slowly over to me and sat down.
"What's wrong with
you?" He asked "Getting in fights running out of school what's
going on."
"I have never once in my entire life felt like if I
didn't get something back I would never be happy until right now
and I know that I blew everything by trying to mess with your head
even though I knew that you didn't do anything wrong. I knew you
and Alex were friends I accepted that. I thought I accepted that I
mean obviously I wasn't as accepting as I thought I was. I tried to
accept it. We've only been apart for a couple days and I'm
already missing you like crazy. When Darcy said she was going to go
after you I just automatically went into defense mode. She said I was
completely hopeless can you believe her. Well you probably can I mean
I bet you two will be extremely happy together. You'll completely
forget about that really bitchy girl you dated for a few weeks. This
can be a funny story you tell your grandkids or grandparents. Oh no
your grandparents I really like your grandparents. What if they hate
me now? And Sam what if she thinks I'm some evil witch who's
trying to push everyone away. I don't think I can handle you hating
me let alone your whole family. Darcy! I bet they'll all just love
her little Christian girl gone bad thing. You'll have six kids
because they don't believe in birth control. You'll be happy and
live on a big farm in the country. You'll have horses. I love
horses. You'll have a little pond in your backyard with birds and
trees surrounding it and…" I was interrupted by Jay's lips. I
pulled back due to the surprise.
"What was that for?"
"Shutting
you up" he laughed "I didn't even understand half of what you
said and frankly I don't care you're better off without me
anyways remember that and as for my family they won't hate
you."
"Jay…"
"Friends?"
"But
…"
"Friends?"
"Yea ok
friends."
---------------------------------
Jay's POV
After school I met Spinner and Sean at the dot. Sean
and I sat at the counter as Spinner talked to Darcy. They made up and
her supposed crush on me disappeared. Sean's cell rang and he
quickly answered it. I was left sitting there with no one to talk to.
Then Ellie walked in.
"Hey Jay" she sat next to me.
"Hey
shouldn't you be in college?"
"I transferred to a school
close by I guess with all the years I spent without my family I'd
really like to be close to them right now."
"Ha you'll see
after a day with all of them you'll be running for the door."
She
laughed.
"So I heard about you and Emma from Alex."
"Oh
yeah"
"I also heard she wanted to get back together and she
got into a fight with Darcy and you're still not together."
"How
did Alex find all that stuff out?"
"She talked to Emma they've
kind of become friend-ish type people."
"How is it possible
that in the few short weeks we were together she managed to get in
with everyone I know?"
Ellie shrugged.
"Did you know she
pretended to go out with some guy just to get back at me for doing
nothing she even said she knew I did nothing?"
"Then do the
same thing to her."
"Too bad I have no other friends at that
school."
"Who says it has to be a school friend here she comes
now."
I looked back quickly then slipped my arm around Ellie's
waist. I saw Emma stop and turn around. I stood up and ran after her.
"Emma I…"
"Friends remember Jay we're just friends
that means no explanations needed."
"Emma."
"You know
what on second thought I can't do friends I'm sorry Jay but I
can't be your friend it is physically impossible for me to be your
friend because every time I see you with another girl it kills me"
she cried and walked
away.
-----------------------------------
Emma's POV
I sat on the couch next to Manny crying. I was sure I
was dehydrated from the loss of fluids. Mom, Snake, and Jack are
coming home tomorrow and I have to put on my happy face. We came back
because we were miserable. I'm still miserable. I think it's
impossible for me to be happy. I'm destined to be old and alone.
Jay was wrong when he said he didn't deserve me. I don't'
deserve him. The phone rang and Manny answered it.
"Emma it's
Alex for you."
I shook my head.
"She's not up to talking
yet. Try again later."
Try again later. Those three words rang
in my head. Try again later. What was I a magic 8 ball? I grabbed the
remote and turned on Lifetime Movie Network.
"Emma turn it off"
Manny demanded.
I didn't. She took the remote and turned it off.
I started crying again. To stop myself from crying I started
studying. I got all my books and read them cover to cover. It took me
all night. Manny stayed up with me. Or at least attempted to she fell
asleep around one. She woke up at 8 to find me till reading. I had
one more page in the history book to go. I finished and closed the
book.
"Did you sleep at all?"
I shook my head and went
into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. I drank cup after cup. Then
Manny made her own pot giving me a weird look
I went to school
without her and walked the whole way. I was early so I just sat on
the steps in front. Jay's car was the first to pull into the
parking lot. He got out. He was with Spinner and Darcy they were all
laughing and seemed to be having a good time. They stood by the car.
Manny walked up shortly after and sat next to me. My eyes never left
that orange car. He looked up at one point and we made eye contact
for less than a second.
"Emma let it go you're too good for
him."
"No I'm not" I shook my head.
The day crawled at
a super slow speed. I skipped the only class I had with Jay. As the
bell ending lunch rang I walked casually out of the building and sat
on the bleachers that were almost never used. After a few minutes Jay
came out with a cigarette in his hand. He sat far away from me.
"Why
are you skipping" he asked.
"I was trying to avoid you that
didn't work."
"I know how you feel."
"Do you Jay
because this morning you looked pretty happy I doubt you spent all
night soaking your textbooks with your own tears."
"This is
what you wanted wasn't it a reason not to get back together well
here's a reason for you I don't want to" he yelled.
"Well
good you finally ended my dream I was beginning to think I would
never wake up but I knew it was impossible for anyone to be as happy
as I was even when I was far away and miserable the thought of you
kept me from being too sad."
"Don't pin this all on me!"
"Oh
don't worry I'm into I know this was all my fault I deserve all
the blame you were perfect and I wasn't it's all my fault we
can't be together stupid me I ruin everything hell you can even
blame me for everything that happened at the ravine that was all my
fault too I should've known that every time we cross paths
something gets hurt and it seems to be me a lot of the time although
I must admit that sometimes I shared the hurt. I blame myself for
everything that ever went wrong between us. It was all me! Me!
Me!"
"You know I think it would be best if we just avoided
each other and didn't speak."
"I fully agree. I can transfer
out of whatever it is they call that class now."
"Yeah good
idea."
