She awoke in the recovery room, and all she could think about was Derek. She wanted him there with her as she arose from the grogginess. His name was on her lips, but somehow she had the control not to say it.She could not focus on the nurses moving above her, and was aware that her lips hurt.

"Extensive bruising due to intubation," she heard, and it meant something to her, but it wasn't until they were rubbing ice against her lip that she knew that that was the reason they hurt. Numbly she accepted the ice chips into her mouth and swallowed. She shifted a little, feeling the IV in her arm.

"Okay, Meredith, we're going to take you to your room now," a calm voice said above her. Debby.

"Okay," she murmured, her eyes feeling heavy again. The movement jerked her awake, she stared at the ceiling, the lights passing to ceiling tiles and back again. The room was the same as the night before, and Izzie and George were both inside. She was aware of being lifted off of the recovery room gurney and onto the bed, and of the recovery staff leaving.

"Meredith?" Izzie said, coming over to her and pushing the hair off of her forehead. "How are you?"

"Tired," Meredith murmured. She attempted to roll over on her side, but was thwarted. "Ow."

"You have a cast," Izzie explained. "Callie says that she's going to replace it with a lighter splint in three or four days. You can go back to work then."

"Mkay," Meredith said, her eyes closing again. A second later, she opened them. "Hey Iz? Someone should….my mom…. If Derek….he's seen her before, is all."

"Yeah, okay. I think he's still on call. I go see." Izzie said, squeezing Meredith's shoulder and going outside. George took her place next to Meredith.

"You did great," he said.

"Thanks. 'm gonna go back to sleep now."

George smiled. "Okay."

"Okay." Meredith closed her eyes, and with the exception of just before the surgery, fell asleep more quickly than she had in months.

When she next woke up, she was far more coherent. "What time is it?" she asked, looking around. George sat in a chair next to her, and as she looked around she saw Alex on the floor near her door, filling out a chart, with Izzie resting her head on his shoulder.

"Just after one," George told her.

"Dr. Shepard said that he would go see your mother, Mer," Izzie told her. "His shift is over at six, so he'll go tonight. He asked if there was anything specific you wanted him to tell her."

"No. Just that I'm okay, and I'll see her soon. I don't want her to worry, if she's lucid. And even if she's not, she should know."

She felt suddenly weak, and her knee hurt.

"Anything else I can do?" Izzie asked, standing up.

Meredith bit her lip and looked at George and Alex; Izzie took the hint. "Okay, boy penises, out," she commanded, reaching for a pair of crutches that had been resting against the wall.

Alex rolled his eyes, and George shrugged, before they filled out of the room. Izzie expertly unhooked the IV and stopped the flow, before helping Meredith lower her leg with the cast to the floor and balance with the crutches. Slowly, and painfully Meredith made it to the bathroom, still feeling groggy. Izzie helped her maneuver with the cast, and when she was finished she dragged herself back to the bed where she collapsed.

Izzie gently shifted her and covered her up again.

"Damn. It hurts," Meredith commented, in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Do you want something for it? Callie put in an order…."

Meredith shrugged. "Not sure I deserve anything for it."

Izzie frowned and put her hand on her hip. "Okay, Meredith? You made a mistake. You made a mistake and I'd say falling humiliatingly from a tree and having the whole hospital know aboutit is punishment enough. You don't have to punish yourself. And, also, just so you know, I'm not going to let you refuse our help while you go through this. You don't deserve to do this alone, whatever happens. Okay? George and I were out there when Callie came out of surgery, as your family. Dr. Shepard saw you into the OR. I don't know what's going to happen with you two, but don't hurt yourself more. Hurting should not be self-inflicted; it's bad enough when you can't control it."

Meredith lay there, absorbing the longest speech that Izzie had made in the past three days and then she slowly nodded. "Okay," she said. "I guess…. Yeah. Pain stuff would be good."

Izzie nodded. "Okay, I'll go tell the nurse and let the boys back in."

Meredith nodded, burying her face in the pillow. Only George came back in the room and she did not turn to him, only said into the pillow, "George? I think I need help." She was not sure that he heard her, but then she heard him approach, and put his hand on her shoulder.

A while later, Meredith was almost asleep again, George had closed the blinds and was watching something on the TV when a sharp pain jolted her all the way awake. "Ow!" she cried out and George muted the TV.

"Meredith? Are you okay?"

She grimaced and then nodded as the pain subsided. "Yeah. Hey George? Could you get me something? Ice cream or something?" she felt pitiful, but Izzie's speech resonated within her. She was going to take care of herself and let her friends help her. Right now that meant soothing her throat and actually eating something. It was a step in the right direction.

George smiled. "What flavor?"

"Strawberry. Debby stashes it in the back of the freezer." He laughed and nodded, leaving her alone in the room.

She glanced up at the TV screen, some stupid daytime TV show, where a model was gushing on about her latest boyfriend. She pushed herself up a little and winced as the shift made her knee hurt again.

She looked down at her hospital gown, trying to understand exactly how twenty-four hours ago she had been the doctor and now she was the patient. Then, the door opened; expecting George she opened her mouth to ask something like 'Did Debby catch you and chase you in here?', but it was not George.

Addison Shepard stood framed by the light from the hallway, staring at Meredith with a look of up-most contempt.

"Well, well, it's true; Meredith Grey got the shit knocked out of her by a tree."

Meredith stared at the woman, not knowing what to say, or how much Addison knew.

"Sleeping with married men in exam rooms not enough to get you attention now?" Addison asked, stepping closer, "Now you have to parade all over the hospital looking poor and pitiful with your injuries. 'Poor Meredith, she's been so badly treated by that man' Driven to the brink. They don't know the truth, do they, Meredith? They don't know that the hospital's resident whore has gotten her way again. Or should I say, attending whore? There's no discretion with you is there?"

"Addison, I didn't want—I didn't lie to you, you know."

"No, you didn't. I'll give you that. You just waited a couple of days, when I actually had hope. It's disgraceful. He may love you, Meredith, but we both know that all you really are is a slut." She stepped closer again, and Meredith felt for just a second that Addison might slap her, when George came in.

"Dr. Shepard. I couldn't help but overhear what you just said. Meredith isn't a slut, and she didn't mean for any of this to happen. Which, I'm sure, you would know, if you stopped to think about it. However, Meredith is also a patient, and not your patient. I don't think Dr. Torres would appreciate your upsetting her. Please leave."

Addison stared at the, and turned on her heels, her white coat swirling around her reminding Meredith of a witch's cloak.

When the door slammed behind her George opened the ice cream and held it out to her. Meredith took it and half-heartedly dug in the spoon, but it no longer looked appetizing.

"George?" she asked. "Is she right? Tell me the truth."

George sat on the end of the bed and took Meredith's hand. "Meredith? I'm your roommate, and I'm also one of quite a few guys in this city that you have slept with, so perhaps I'm not the best to judge."

Meredith looked away from him, blinking back tears.

"But I, for one, do not think that you are a slut. I think you've had some hard times, but you're definitely not a slut."

"Is there adifferent 'but' there? Or a 'however', maybe?" Meredith asked, glancing at him sidelong.

"Not… exactly. Just that you've had problems that you need to work out, and it's not just Derek. It's the drinking," Meredith stiffened. "And the tendency to bring any guy who shows an interest in you, home. I mean, isn't that how you met Shepard? And if you guys work, I don't think he'd like that happening every time you fight."

Meredith nodded. "Yeah. You're right. It's hard to hear, but you're right."

George smiled at her. "You know we'll help you, whatever happens, right?"

"Yeah. Of course. Izzie told me that, in no uncertain terms."

He stood and sat back in his chair, leaving Meredith to stare at her slowly melting ice cream and wonder how the hell she was going to dig herself out of the hole she'd fallen in.

She did not expect him to come and see her that night, although she probably should have. Still, it took her by surprise when the door opened and he was standing there. Izzie, who was with her until Cristina came on-call, looked at Meredith. Meredith nodded and Izzie stood up, putting her knitting down on her chair and murmured something about coffee.

She slid out the door behind Derek and he stepped all the way in the room, closing the door behind him.

"Hey," she said, sitting up and wincing. He came closer to help her, a doctor in every way, he pulled a pillow behind her back and stepped away.

"Hey," he replied. There was silence, which almost became awkward, but then he added, "I went and saw your mother. She thought you were sixteen, and said something about knowing that your little escape route was going to backfire."

Meredith's eyes widened. "She knew about that?"

"Yeah, apparently," Derek said, smiling. "So this wasn't the first time you climbed that tree?"

"Unclimbed, actually. And no, I did it several times one summer. Never fell then though. Of course, I was much more graceful and less…." she trailed off. The silence came again. "Thank you, for going to her. Today was my day off and I was going to go see her, like I always do. It's not a regular schedule, but it's every day off and I just didn't want…" Suddenly he put a finger to her lips to stop her rant.

"Meredith? We need to talk." Gently he pushed a lock of hair away from her face and sat on the end of her bed.

"Yeah, we do. You and Addison--."

"Are through. We signed the papers, and she filed them before work this morning. You and Finn…?"

"Also through. He doesn't deserve all of my crap."

Derek smiled, just a little, and Meredith wished that it didn't make her heart soar.

"So, technically, we're both single."

Meredith shook her head and his face fell a little. "You're not. Not yet, until it's finalized. And I… I need time, to put myself back together. I want this, Derek, I want us, but I need to be me again first. The thing is, when I met you, I was just straightening out, and the past few months I've kind of fallen back into the lifestyle I don't like again. So I need to fix myself again before we can work…." She could not look at him; she played with her hospital bracelet, thinking to herself that she would need to ask Izzie where she had put her watch.

Derek gently took her hand into his and entwined his fingers with hers. This gave her the courage that she needed to look up at him.

"Meredith, I want to help you," he said, so sincerely that her breath caught.

"I know," she said, smiling weakly at him, "And that helps. To know, that you're there for me. But I really need to do this myself; I need to know that I can rely on just me. You know?"

"Yeah," he said, softly. "I do know." They were silent again, but it wasn't the kind of silence that could be awkward, they knew each other, it was a comfortable silence. "Meredith?" he asked, finally. "I want you to know something. It wasn't just because of you, that we signed, I mean. Yes, it was partially because of the fact that I'm in love with you," he grinned momentarily, but then turned serious, looking deep into her eyes, "It was because Addison and I just weren't going to work any more. We haven't been working in a long time. I just had to try. That's just who I am."

"I know, Derek. I admire that in you." She put her other hand gently on top of his and smiled.

"I thought it would be easier for you and me to move on, but--." His voice caught and she nodded.

"It wasn't. I know. Addison will be okay, I think," she tried not to think of the Addison who had, mere hours before, slammed into her hospital room to berate her, and instead thought of the classy surgeon that Addison normally was.

"Derek? Did my mother say anything else? I mean, when you told her what happened?"

"Of course. She wanted to come to you, and it took some smooth talking for me to convince her that visiting hours couldn't be altered. It's not true, for minors it's flexible and she thought you were one, but by the time I'd talked her around she was in another time already. She was worried, even if she thought it was inevitable."

Meredith nodded slowly. "Maybe this should have happened when I was sixteen. It would have knocked some sense into me."

And then there were tears. Damn it, she thought, and tried to hide it from him, blinking quickly and turning away. With a finger he turned her head to him.

"Meredith, why are you crying?" he asked, cocking his head in a questioning manner that was so him. And he was hers. But she couldn't have him, not yet.

His easy questioning however, his gentle manner, made her lose all semblance of control and she began to sob openly. "I-I-I I've really screwed myself up, Derek," she managed to say through her tears. "And I just want it all to stop."

He slid next to her, scooting in between the rail of the hospital bed and her thin frame, wrapping his arms around her. "Shh…," he murmured, kissing her forehead and wiping away her tears. "You're going to be okay now, I promise. Okay? You'll get through this, and you have so many people who are willing to help you." He spoke as if calming a terrified child, which was how she felt. "You're strong, Mer. A weak person wouldn't be able to balance your career, taking care of your mother and everything else."

She slid down, ignoring the stab of pain that came because of it and rested her head on his chest. "Okay. And you'll be there? When I'm ready?"

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else," he assured her, stroking her hair.

"I don't feel strong."

"You just had surgery. You are allowed to not feel strong. But you are strong."

She nodded again, and closed her eyes, breathing in his scent, trying to convince herself that he was really there. She stayed like that for a long time, and her breathing evened out. He must have thought that she had fallen asleep, because he kissed her on the cheek and then slowly slid out of the bed just as the door opened and Meredith heard Izzie's footsteps.

"Hi," Izzie said stiffly.

"Hey. She's okay."

"No, she's not." Izzie said in a voice that was quiet and accusatory, and not like the Izzie that Meredith knew. "You hurt her; you hurt her so badly that she ended up here, in surgery. That's not okay, Dr. Shepard!"

Meredith was surprised to hear Izzie speak like that, even if she was right, and she almost opened her eyes to say something, but she didn't.

She heard Derek let out a breath and imagined him running a hand through his hair. "You're right, Izzie, and I know that. I'm going to do everything I can for her. She wants me to stay away though, until she has things figured out. Will you--?"

"Yeah. I'll look out for her."

"Thank you. I'll see you later. Tell her…. Tell her I'll be here when she needs me." The door closed again, and Meredith knew that he was gone. She was annoyed, slightly, that he was asking Izzie to watch her, like she was a child. Then again, she knew that was not really what he was doing. He was just making sure that she would be looked after. He was being Derek. No doubt he had asked Bailey or someone to make sure Addison didn't go crazy. They obviously hadn't done very well.

The lingering effects of the anesthetic coupled with the exhausting effects of her talk with Derek suddenly overwhelmed her and she was truly asleep before she could even reveal to Izzie that she hadn't been asleep.

A/N: So sorry guys! My friend's sidekick hated this site's franes!

Unclimbed is a word. When I used it I kind of wanted it not to be. To be an unword.

Unword however, is not a word.

Right. Review please and ignore my Meredith-like ramblings!