Disclamer: Sorry, off playing SSBM the last three chapters. Aquamoon doesn't own Kingdom Hearts. This fic can also be found at GameFAQs.

The Fourth Day
Roxas goes to sleep and has more dreams about Sora using KEYBLADE KUNG-FU to spank Evil Riku and the Enigmatic Man.


Enigmatic Man

Don't remind me...


The dream ends, and Roxas wakes up.


Roxas

Ok, this is freaky. Off to the psychiatrist.


But Roxas has an ULTIMATE FIGHTING TORNAMENT to attend, so he can't go.


Disney

Wait, fighting tournament seems a bit harsh for the kids. Let's call it the Struggle instead. :)


Ok...Roxas attends the STRUGGLE, which is a tournamentwhere people kick the crap out of each other with foam bats. The people pop fireworks like it's the FOURTH OF JULY.


Struggle Promoter

This the day that shall decide who is better at toy batsminship! Whoever collects the most orbs wins! Who shall take on our champion?


The camera whirls around to reveal the DISTANT COUSIN OF SEYMOUR AND SEPHIROTH, Setzer.


Setzer

I could be womanizing and gambling, but I choose to fight with this toy bat instead. Gambler's Anonymous has helped me turn my life around.


The semi-finals begin. Roxas and Hayner fight, but Hayner loses.


Hayner

The student has surpassed the teacher, and I hate it!


Vivi and Seifer fight next. But thanks to Kendo lessons and Master Roshi's training, Seifer gets THE BALLS KNOCKED OUT OF HIM.


Seifer

My spidey sense tells me that's not Vivi.


Seifer has no spidey sense, but this is ignored as Roxas begins the fight with Vivi. Roxas fights and takes down Vivi somehow then time freezes yet again. Vivi turns out to be a Dusk...well, possessed by one anyway.


Dusk Commander

The stealth mission was a success! CHARGE!


The troops come down and take on Roxas. They get SLAUGHTED in a matter of seconds. Then another hooded guy appears.


Another Hooded Guy

Remember me? (takes off hood) I'm Axel. This town is his creation. (Roxas is confused and throws the Keyblade on the ground. It comes back to him.) Instead of telling you what's up, I'll fight you.


Axel fights Roxas. All the fangirls in the world don't save him from getting his ass whipped. Then DiZ uses MATRIX MEGAHAX to teleport in to stop Axel.


DiZ

Don't believe a word he says, he's on crack!

Axel

He's a tree hugger, screw him!

DiZ

I have gold, listen to me!

Axel

I have diamonds and fangirls, come with me!


The bribery continues until...


Roxas

SHUT UP!


Axel and DiZ pull a DOUBLE HOUDINI DISAPPEARING ACT, then time starts back up. Vivi heads off to get some Asprin, Roxas WIPS THE FLOOR with Setzer, despite his bad mind games, the Setzer fangirls weep, and Roxas has fun on the train station roof, then he PREDICTABLY FALLS OFF. Selphie and Kairi have amnesia thanks to Namine's BS. Kairi sends a message in a bottle to the boy she can't remember-


Logic

How is he going to get that when he's in a pod somewhere?


Like I said, several minutes of filler later, DiZ and Hooded Guy start talking and BLOWS LOGIC'S MIND.


DiZ

Namine screwed up more crap than I thought. Roxas and Kairi's hearts have crossed paths, now Sora's affected.

Hooded Guy

(somehow understood all that) Whose Nobody is she?

DiZ

I'll tell you...after you say your true name.

Hooded Guy

(takes off hood) It's Ansem.

Anyone that played the first game

WHAT!...but...door...light...how... (ponders how this could be)

DiZ

Hello, nice to meet you.

Logic

O.O (passes out, is hospitalized)

Next Chapter: Roxas finally figures it out...nearly.