Sorry I haven't updated in so long! So you get 2 chapters for the price of one! I don't own KH, etc. Oh, and Review.

Hollow Bastion and The Land of the Dragons
After getting over the surprise of the MYSTICAL MAP and how going to other places is much easier, Sora flies on to Hollow Bastion, where Pete's trying to find Maleficient.


Pete

Anyone know where this tower came from?


Meanwhile, Sora and friends land in Hollow Bastion.


Sora

What happened to the castle?

Donald

Unlicensed contracting, apparently.


They dash off the the Bailey, where they find Yuffie.


Sora

What's with the orb cylinders?

Yuffie

Town defense mechanicism. Yeah, Disney wouldn't let install any gun turrets...

Dusk General

(warps in) This the way to this - it's Sora! Troops, attack!


More dusks attack, but are TROUNCED AND POUNCED within minutes. After Sora imitates the emoness of Leon, the gang runs off to Merlin's house.


Aerith

Hello! (What's happened to my voice?)

Cid

Howdy! Feel that Bluegrass... (Stupid Disney...)

Leon

For some weird reason, we've just remembered you.

Sora

Why'd you forget us? And why's everyone acting so weird?

Leon

We've speculated that the Men in Black somehow got involved on both counts...oh, and we've a got a big problem.

Sora

Besides Cid going to Montan- Oh, Heartless, Nobodies, we know the rest.

Leon

Off to the Bailey.


The Keyblade Crew starts off to said place, but Merlin appears, and bring with him POINTLESS BANTER. They get the membership cards and run off to the Bailey.


Leon

Look at that.

Sora

How am I suppose to see that far?


Sora puts on his superglasses and sees THE GATHERING OF ULTIMATE YUCKINESS.


Sora

I wonder what their doing over there...?

At the Dark Depths...


Jamie Kennedy

Whoop 'dat trick! Whoop...

Various Heartless

BOOOOOOO! Give us Primer 55!


Sora, meanwhile, fills in Leon on everything that's happened so far. Then the Organization appears...somehow.


Mystery Voice

Hello.

Sora

How are you talking to me?

Other Mystery Voice

We're borrowing Sauron's seeing stone.


The Organization sends some Dusks and Heartless.


Dusk General

Ready for round 2?

Dusks #1 & 2

Can't we go to that party first?


Despite the mass troops, The Keyblade Crew and Leon are soon victorious. Then the Enigmatic Man appears along with the rest of the Organization.


Enigmatic Man

If only the Keyblade were in more capable hands...

Sora

The capable hands that kicked your butt?

Enigmatic Man

(Ugh, forgot about that...) We'll finish this later. Teleports out with the other Hooded Guys.


Surfer Dude Hooded Guy teleports in front of the steps, says some FORESHADOWING DIALOG, then disappears. The membership card soon glows and through an EXPENSIVE SEQUENCE OF ACTION, the gates to the next 2 worlds open.


Leon

I'm going to see someone about getting some baggier pants...


Sora leave Hollow Bastion and flies the Gummi Ship through a gate, and discovers that the sequences ARE ACTUALLY FUN.


Goofy

Hey, the ship can do dodge rolls!

Sora

Barrel Roll! Barrel Roll! Barrel Roll!


While Sora discovers the fun of BARREL ROLLS, Shan-Yu stands in the middle of a burned down village.


Shan-Yu

Someone going to copy this scene, I know it.

40 barrel rolls later, Sora lands in Mulan's world, where they find a Heartless, which is actually the shadow of Mushu.

Mushu

Man, I would've been so much more useful if Square-Enix didn't make all the summons suck...

Mulan

I'm Mula- er, Ping.

Donald

Somebody call Maury...


A few minutes of GENDER IDENTITY DISORDER later, Ping, Sora and co. head over to the encampment where the solders cut in line, Donald goes quackers, and Sora gets SLUGGED.


Lil' Slugger

I had nothing to do with that, I swear.


The brawl ends when General Shang appears. Everyone lines up, then the Heartless come, get beat down, then Shang briefs them.


General Shang

To get in, beat these three missions before the morale runs low.


Despite the REFILLABLE TIMER, Sora and the others blaze through the missions with flying colors, including the extra one Gen. Shang forgot to mention.


Gen. Shang

We were out of gunpowder, strangely...


The troop gets to the town.


Yellow armored Solder

Shan-Yu went that cave. Get him!


Sora and his crew run into the cave, not thinking that it could be a trap. Then the Heartless came.


Shan-Yu

(Owned, Brotha!) Heads to the village.


Sora and Ping somehow slaughter the cheap Heartless and leave the cave to find the town burned down. The filler soon leads us to Sora surviving a Rapid Thruster attack, Shan-Yu getting avalanch'd, and Mulan getting found out.


Gen. Shang

You're a woman? Talk to me when you've solved your gender crisis. Walks off.


Sora and Mulan chat, after which Shan-Yu rises from the snow.


Shan-Yu

Grr. First thing to go when I take over is the snow.

Mulan

Crap! We must alert the troops!


The Keyblade Crew and Mulan rush to the Imperial City, killing Heartless along the way.


Mulan

Shan-Yu's not dead!

Shang

Really? He sees the falcon and Shan-Yu. Guard the palace!

Most of the Solders

We're Heartless now...

Shang

Here I thought you were doing the Monster Mash...


More Heartless come with KUNG-FU ACTION, but get beaten despite all that. They get to Shan-Yu, who's all roided up on DARKNESS AND SHENG GON WU.


Shan-Yu

Show me what you've got.


Despite the EVIL SWORDPLAY AND HIDDEN POWER, Sora and Mulan WIPE THE FLOOR with Shan-Yu.


Shan-Yu

Ugh... (dies)


Mushu celebrates, and then the Emperor shows up.


Emperor of China

I don't know if you have a gender crisis or not, but you have saved us all. (bows to Mulan)


More honoring and filler happens, and then the sword glows, and the FLASHY GATE OPENING SEQEUNCE happens.

Sora: To the next world!