OK I was tempted to call this chapter Depression 101 but thought I better not but it's kinad lost of tears type thing so uh.. just please R and R. Thanks.
When they got to the B n B, Buffy gave another fake smile then said, "I'm just going to go freshen up and have a quick lie down, you know how much I hate hospitals."
The others nodded and went their seperate ways, Willow walked to her room, conflicted. Should she go ask Buffy what was really wrong or should she leave it be for now in
case it was something serious? Then again, she couldn't not know if it was something serious: she HAD to know the real problem.
Buffy opened the door, puffy eyed and Willow knew straight away she had been crying. Buffy sighed, trying not to breakdown completely, there was no way of getting out of
explaining this she could hardly say there was nothing wrong.
Buffy opened the door wider to gesture that Willow could come in, Willow stepped inside Buffy's room and sat on the bed, a sad expression on her face. She hated seeing
her friend like this, especially when she didn't know the problem.
Buffy gave a tiny, wavering, half-hearted smile. She closed the door and went to sit down beside Willow, "Guess I can't really try the nothing's wrong routine can I?"
Willow shook her head, "Pain in the ass or not, I'm your best friend still and you can't get nothing by me, especially not a lame excuse like that," Willow said, more
concerned than anything. "What's going on Buffy?" Willow pretty much pleaded.
Buffy choked back the tears she felt coming, how was she meant to say this?
She'd been strong long enough and there was no way she was getting through this without crying so she let the tears flow.
"I'm pregnant," Buffy said putting her head in her hands and sobbing.
Willow put her arm over Buffy's back but it was a delayed reaction. Part of her was relieved that it wasn't some life threatening illness but another part was confused,
shocked and upset for her friend, "Spike's?" Willow asked softly
Buffy looked at her a little annoyed, "Of couse it was Spike's!" she said defensively, hurt that Willow might think it was something else, "but I don't understand how and I
don't understand why," Buffy said crying bucket loads by now.
Willow bit her lip, not having a clue in the world what to say. She was never good in these situations and for that reason a part of her wished she hadn't found out. "It'll be
OK," she said rubbing her friend's back, trying to soothe her.
"How in the world is it going to be OK? Spike's gone and he isn't coming back and I'm stuck here with his baby," Buffy said crying even more over the realization that Spike really wasn't coming back then hating herself for using the word "stuck" as though she hated the baby already.
Willow's heart broke for her best friend, they'd overcome god knows how many apocalypses and had fought various and difficult demons and other supernatural stuff yet the worst thing of it all seemed to be this and this wasn't even supernatural - minus the vampire dad.
"I know it doesn't seem like it, but we're going to get through this, I promise," Willow said hugging her, trying to comfort her a little.
Buffy just nodded, didn't believe a word of it but nodded.
Willlow stood up, Buffy needed time alone, "Want me to tell Giles?" Willow offered.
Buffy stood up also, roughly wiping her tears away but not being able to erase the pain, "No!" she said sharply, "I mean thanks but it's - it'ssomething I'll have to tell him myself, in my own time so if you wouldn't mind keeping quiet?" Buffy choked out.
Willow nodded, "Sure," she hugged her friend again as if to repeat her words of 'we'll get through this,' then left.
Buffy closed the door after her, fighting back tears, she'd had plenty of practice with faking smiles and holding back tears. She noticed it was dark outside and she was beyond tired, she turned out the light and climbed into bed. The last time she'd be in a bed or sleeping, was when she found out she was ahving Spike's baby and the time before that she'd actually been wih Spike. She cried herself to sleep.