Author's Note: Please excuse the random nuttiness. This was for a close friend of mine. I wrote this to possibly shorten her wait for a story I've been writing for her birthday. Somehow, I don't think itquite had that effect, and let me alsonote that her birthday was in the beginning of last June.
Sirius prodded the turtle on his table and frowned. Then he stepped three feet back from the table. "Accio!" he cried with dramatic emphasis. For the twenty-second time.
The turtle yawned.
"Not like that, Beavis," said an exasperated Remus. He'd been here all evening attempting to teach his friend the Summoning Charm.
"What's a Beavis?" asked Sirius, eager to jump at any opportunity to turn his attention away from this daunting task.
"Nothing, never mind. Just a character from Muggle TV," Remus said quickly and raised his wand to show Sirius how to summon properly. For the twenty-second time. "Anyway, your problem is—"
"What's a TV?" interrupted Sirius insistently.
Remus sighed and lowered his wand. "It's an electric device Muggles use. They watch stuff filmed in other places on it, like—"
"Oh… Like that box Peter was talking about, where Muggles watch other Muggles shag," said Sirius, nodding sagely.
"Yes, but—"
"So, what's a Beavis?" Sirius asked, his eyes narrowing.
"Well, if you'll let me explain—"
"I don't like where this is leading, Moony," said Sirius, frowning. "Not one bit."
"Will you—"
"It seems to me that you're trying to imply that I'm a…" Sirius stole furtive glances around the common room to see if anyone was watching and gestured towards below his midsection.
"Whoa, wait!" Remus protested. "You didn't even let me—"
"And that's not very nice at all," Sirius continued. "Because while I am in every way the epitome of manhood, comparing me to the physical entity of it is absolutely degrading!"
Remus shot friend a scandalized look and stalked away.