Chapter 2- Stage Fright

Kagome Higurashi stared at the new music release taped to the podium. The sun beat agianst her scalp. Her heart pounded, her vision blurred, and her voice froze. Blindly she held onto the edges of the podium, making herself inhale the humid Japan air. Urging the panic to pass.

She could do this. This wasnt a stage performance, just a brief, routine announcement. She didnt need to read the words; she knew what they said, she'd written them. Three simple announcements to the press: Namie Amuro's newest release in her second bi-lingual album, a new artist who hit the top 20 in the billboards and there was to be a party celebrating BoA's upcoming birthday.

An announcement. Simple to do.

Impossible to start.

Sweat, which had nothing to do with the heat, caked her skin, and strikes of fear beat against her ribs. She cleared her throat and heard the sound come out of the microphone in front of her. The murmuring crowd of reporters, who gathered around the grass of Rico Kamashimi's home, hoping for a glimpse of the reclusive producer,quieted. Waiting, expecting her voice.

She had to do this. She loosened her death grip on the podium long enough to touch a hand to the sleek knot of her hair, assuring herself for her tidy completence. Between panting breaths, she inhaled deeply and looked up, hoping for a steady glimpse of her friend Sakura. A reporter for the Tokyo Times. (I dont know any Japan newspapers) Big mistake.

Faces. All she could see was faces. Faces watching her. Faces with avid eyes and grinning teeth. I know these people, some for years. I spoke to each one of them on the phone, invited each one here. She tried to begin, failed. Nausea rolled inside her, and the unrelenting stab of a headache pierced between her eyes. Fear---- and humiliation over the fear-----warred within her. Neither let her open her mouth and do her job.

"Give me the mike" growled the smoke-roughened voice ofr her employer from behind her.

Blindly she fumbled for the microphone and passed it to Kamashimi, who stood hidden within the door alcove. Succinct and blunt, he made the announcements, then shoved the microphone back to her and dissapeared into the house.

Thankyou for coming. She couldnt even croak that into the microphone. Without another look at the people, she quickly went into the house, where she leaned agianst a wall to cool off and calm down, to let her heart settle in her chest. At last the fear dissipated. That left only the humiliation.

"Kags! My office!" snapped Kamashimi who;s been waiting for her to collect herself.

She hated the nickname Kags. For once though, she decided not to correct him. Instead she followed him into his study.

He poured himself a glass of Sake, lit a cigar and then posed himself into his chair.

The familiar actions steadied her. As did being away from the microphone. She plucked the glass from his hands and tossed, the drink out an opened window, and then poured him a glass of water.

"What the hell is going on Kags?"

"Kagome, sir. Call me Kagome. It's five o'clock. You told me not to let you have alcohol before seven.

"Thats not what I meant, and you know it. That scene out there was an embarresment, we both know it, and I dont EVER want to have to put myself forward like that again. What the hell happened?"

She glanced over and saw the cigar dangling between his fingers, the set of his shadowed jaw, the narrowing of his dark eyes. He wasnt going to drop this.

"I'm not very good at public speakings" she said. "Lots of people have a fear for it; its next to the fear of death."

"Yeah, but most people dont look like theyre going to vomit on their shoes. And they get through it. You couldnt. Why didnt you tell me?" "All I had to do was..." Brushing a spot of dust off her skirt, she fought the humiliated fact that he was right. "I thought I could..." She stopped, faced him. "Im sorry, your right. I should have said somthing."

"You havent always had tis" He eyed her thoughfully.

"Things change." she said shortly, nipping that line of questioning. " Next time let your publicist handle the announcements."

"My publicist is in New York, US, like my agent and my editor, where I prefer to keep them. I need a presence locally, here in Tokyo. I wanted you to do this, Kags" he added gently.

"Im better behind the scenes." she neatened her sleeves. "Now, Ive finished those last translations and typed them for you. Your correspondence has piled up agian, so I'll start answering that. I set up a signing---"

"No dont start on the correspondence. Dont start on anything" He took a swallow of the water, grimaced, and then set it down on his desk with a clunk.

"I have to let you go Kags"

"Excuse me?"

"I'm fireing you"

"You're joking"

"I wish I were"

He was dead serious. She sank into the nearest chair.

"Just like that? Why?"

"Your employment was temporary, you knew that."

"Yes, but I thought..." She bit her lip. A six-week stint had expanded to six months. He had hired her to translate some documents and books, becaouse she was fluent in both Russian and French---thanks to a Russian born Grandfather, and secondary years at Ecole Classique, the French immersion school. But they'd found as easy rhythm in working together and she'd gradually taken on other tasks, other responsibilities.

"Remember I said I needed a personal assistant?"

She'd hoped his offhand comment meant he'd offer her the job.

"Filing, managing your calander, ordering flowers for your dates. I do all that."

"If your my personal assistant, your job is to do whatever I need" he gestured with the cigar. "You dissapointed me out there Kags."

She sat back, stung. She prided herself on a job well done, on exceeding expectations. " Kagome" she corrected.

"For those announcements, some one could come in---"

"I already let you talk me into hiring a reasearcher."

"Toshi is doing a good job"

"Damn straight she is!" She stubbed the cigar out in an ashtray and leaned forward. "You, me, Toshi, a cleaning lady. Too many people already wandering around my house; I dont like it. Three's my limit."

Rico Kamashimi was a fanatic about keeping his house porivate. Even his mutiple affairs he conducted at each womens house; none of them have ever breached his front door.

"Let Toshi do the announcement, talk with the press." The suggestion was a desperate one, and she knew it.

He gave a snort of derision. " PR needs presence. Toshi is dog- ugly. I know it; she knows it and you know it.

"She is a sweet girl" Her stomach tightened into a knot."Sure she is and I love her for it, but the reporters would eat her alive. Dealing with the press needs flash and glamour." He lit another cigar. " Dont need a PA just to answer letters. Hell, I could hire a service for that. I need someone who can interview a research subject, answer media questions, or put together a party for my new release with equal ease.

"You want Archie Goodwin to your Nero Wolfe."

For the first time Rico cracked a smile. " yeah except I weigh a hell of alot less. Point is, I dont do public appearances. My PA will have to, and will have to live up to my image.

"What image? The reclusive producer?"

"My detective, my suave, virile and creature of the night."

"The creature of the night is a vampire, your not."

"Are you sure" he smiled, showing the face on magazines.

"My rep needs that wit and charm, that suave sophistication" he continued." Flair is sine qua non." His glance ran down her tailored brown suit. "Ive been trying to get you to modernize for some weeks now. I thought you knew."

Her brows knit. " When?"

"Stephanie suggested you go to the hairdresser, Manzie asked you to go shopping. Belind offered to do your nails.

"Your girlfriends?"

"I asked them to help."

The thought of him discussing her with each of his string of paramours hardened the knot in her stomach.

"Well I didnt want my hair turned purple, my cloths to look like I belonged on a american Maximum Magazine, and my nails glitterly talons." she retored, anger starting to rise along with the distress.

"Okay, so they werent the best role models. But you need to loosen up a bit, Kags. I even thought about a sweaty, no-commitments-wanted, mind blowing affair."

Her jaw dropped open in shock before she snapped it shut. "OH GOD RICO, you arent't suggesting that you and O--"

"Hell no! he assured her. "But remember, last month, I sent you to interveiw Tsubasa Yashuri." "You did a phone interview"

"He told me to wear somthing easy to tear becaouse he wanted to, and I quote, 'loosen me up with a piece of man that would have me howling like a bitch'. I was not flattered."

She gave Rico a incredulous look.

"I didnt realize Yashuri was so crude; he had a repuatation as a lover. I must admit, though, your prudish streak shocked the hell out of me, considering--"

"Considering my family background." Considering she'd lived with media attention most of her life. Anger spread through her veins.

She was tempted to walk out right then except for a couple of very big reasons, One, Rico was generous, he paid her twice what anyone with a recent degree in classical literature could expect, and with the bills for her mothers care, she needed cash. This permanent job would pay even better. Two, with the exception of the past fifteen minutes, she genuinely liked her boss. Granted he was egotistical, brusque and opinionated, but he was also brilliant and interesting. Most of all, he was straight with her, and she valued that.

He'd said he wanted a PA with charm and flair, she was neither of those but she did have wit. She paid no attention to modern fashion and was straight foward, disaplined and classic. The only thing that stood in her way was her dibilitating stage fright.

One-on-one she dealt with people fine. With large groups though she failed horriblably.

"Give me a chance at the job, everyone has a weakness; mine is appearing at a podium or in front of a lot of people, I can learn the flair thing, and your never going to find someone you can depend upon more."He gazed at her unblincking. "Is this job what you want?"

"Yes." It was what she needed. What she wanted was no longer possible.

"All right." he said at last. "The St. John's Eve party. There's going to be an announcement."

Already her stomache started to clench with nausea.

She ignored it. "What am I going to announce?"

He shook his head. "If youre successful, I'll get someone else to make the announcement."

"Successful at what?"

"Finding Hounshi Shinisugi. I want him at the party, and I want him to agree to a no-holds-barred interview."

Hounshi Shinisugi. Her breath hissed in. Fresh anger--so potent and foreign it almost frightened her---raced across numb resignation, and she felta distinct kinship with the White Knight Burgers employee who's left his boss tied up naked in the freezer.

"Rico, your a bastard."

"Only my mother disagrees"

"Is that what all this job nonsense was about? A set up to reel me in with Hounshi?"

"Yes if you gave me the opening. And you did." he said grinning.

"Damnit! Rico!" she jumped to her feet.

" But I'm giving you a real choice; I dont play games. I need a PA, a representative, and I want her to look sophisticated and vogue. You dont." he said bluntly.

"I also want Hounshi, and this is the only way I know to get him. You've got grace and classic looks. Kags, so if you bring me Hounshi, I'll adjust."

"Thanks...alot"

He ignored her sarcasm. "Whats your choice?"

"I'm not doing some version of Stepdaddy, Dearest so you can write a song on it."

"Not at all...I just need to know what makes him tick. He's got secrets Kags. And I want them all."

Talk about all your nightmares in one assignment. But she was determined to prove she could do this. Kagome straightened. "All right. When I get you the interview, though, I want a permanent job and a raise, and you'll hire a local PA person. And you'll call me Kagome."

It was Rico's turn to hesitate.

"Hounshi Shinisugi has never been photographed, never been interviewed" she pressed. "Even I dont know where he is right now. But I'm the only one who could get him for you, and you know it."

"The PA never comes in the house. You deal with them. And you'll stop wearing tailored suits.

"A big raise"

"Alright. Youve got three weeks. St.Johns Eve. If you dont have Hounshi Shinisugi, then dont come back.

Kagome smoothed her brown skirt and tucked a loose hair into a twist on her head. "Oh, dont worry Rico. I'll be back."

Please review...and tell me how it was and what I could improve...please

Till later

Mel