Title: Just another Frog, or Prince Charming in Disguise? 2?
Author: Mel
Disclaimer: I own nothing other than the oddly interesting title and idea.
Distribution: Ask.
Rating: PG-13, may have some language and cussing and minor sexual content and innuendo
Spoilers; None I can think of
Summary: Lita has come upon a dry spell in her love life. She hasn't dated in months. So what happens when her friends take it upon themselves to set her up on dates with frogs in a search for her prince charming? What will her reaction be? Who will prince charming turn out to be?
Pairings: Lita/Randy (Ultimate pairing, along the way I might torture her), Victoria/undecided, Melina/Undecided, Candice/Undecided, Dawn Marie/Undecided
Note: Thanks to all for the reviews last chapter. Makes me happy. Mel
-X-
"Just a minute," came a reply from the other side of the door. Lita shook her head as she wondered who Candice was hanging out with. It had sounded like a male voice; it definitely wasn't Candice Michelle's voice.
The door opened and Lita raised an eyebrow to see John Cena at the door, cap absent from his head, dressed in a pair of black track pants and a wearing a Vince loves..., one of DX's newest shirts.
"Wha' the hell 'ere you doin' here?" John asked as he leaned against the door, no cracking it enough for the diva to enter.
"I am here because I am supposed to be rooming with Candice. Why are you here jackass?"
John's face screwed up into an 'oh' before replying. "Well it seems like someone woke up on the wrong side for the bed this morning."
"Cena, man, who's at the door?" came another male voice from inside the room.
"What the hell?" Lita said aloud. "Is it movie night in our room and my roommate forgot to tell me?"
"Maybe. I guess I could let ya in."
"Yeah ya could Cena."
"But what would be the fun in that?" John mused aloud as he let the red headed spitfire into the room, closing the door behind her, enjoying watching her lug her heavy bag into the room.
"Red ya need some help?" came the voice of Randy Orton from his place on one of the beds in the room. He along with Cena, Candice, Victoria and Hunter were all watching movies as a way to relax for a long day of travel.
"Nah man I think she can handle it on her own. You are an independent woman right, Li-Li?" Cena said as he came to stand behind the woman.
"John quit bein' such as ass." Victoria said, from her place on the bed closest to the wall, where she was leaning back against Hunter, trying to watch the movie despite the talking.
"What's this I hear?" A voice came from the bathroom that Candice was exiting, dressed in a pair of boxer shorts and an oversized Legend Killer t-shirt. The young woman came to stand next to Lita, giving the red head a hug, before turning to Cena, a brow rising at the look of mischievous innocence on the man's face.
"You didn't hear nothin'. I was just helping Lita here with her bag." And to illustrate his point Cena reached down and grabbed a hold of the bag from Lita and taking it to be placed by the bed closest to them, clearly illustrating it would more than likely be Lita's for the night.
"Yeah, I am sure of that. John I told you before if you are mean to Lita I would make it my personal mission to make sure you never get laid again and if it persisted I'd cut off your thingy." The buxom brunette said as she pulled Lita along to sit down on the bed that was occupied by Orton.
Lita just kept quiet as she was pushed to the bed by Candice, then pulled back on it by Orton, Candice taking up the position next to Lita.
"So why were you so late chic? How has your day been" Candice asked as her gaze turned to the still aggravated red head.
"Well if you really want to know it's been a shitty day thus far. First I had to make appearances alone, then I got fussed at, called a slut, a whore and hit on. Now Cena is being an ass. So I'd say it's been an awful day and you know I was late because of the appearances."
"Whoa red stop spitting so much fire or you'll burn me." Orton said making it clear his attentions had been on the two women and not on the movie that now only Victoria was watching, and only half way as she was beginning to fall asleep on the also sleeping Hunter, who was drooling a little bit.
"Aww, Orton, stop bein' such a pansy ass and acting like a girl."
"You know what John why don't you leave?" Candice said. Usually John wasn't such an asshole but lately he'd been acting more like it, ever since his breakup from Maria, who had been incidentally cheating on him with Lita's onscreen boy toy, Edge.
"Yeah, I think you should leave, John. Go back to our room and cool off man. It's not anyone's fault that Maria was manipulating you and cheating on ya ass, least of all Li's."
Lita just let out a breathe, thinking that maybe she should be defend herself, but more than happy to let others do it. She wanted rid of Cena and well everyone except for Candice because all she really wanted to do was take a shower and go to sleep.
Lita was glad to see John go though and almost let out a whoop when the door shut behind him. That left Lita, Candice and Randy in one another's company with a sleeping Victoria and Hunter.
"So how did our room become hangout central might I ask?" Lita said as she leaned back against the wall, shoulder to shoulder with Orton, who smiled at her, but Lita choosing not to return it.
"Ya know…last week it was Dave and Hunter's, this week I offered our place so next week Orton and Cena can host the get together."
"Fun. So has anyone seen a script for tomorrow night?"
"No. But word has it John and Edge are taking on each other yet again with you getting in the middle; I think you're supposed to start becoming a liability to Edge. Right?" Randy tried to offer.
"Yeah…always has to be the woman who causes the trouble never the man." Lita let out a little to harshly.
"I didn't mean anything…" Randy started, but was interrupted by Candice taking a chance to speak.
"Oh Randy we know what you mean. We'd never blame you personally for men's failure to be understanding and intelligent."
"I feel the love." Randy said flashing a smile.
"I'm sorry Randy." Lita said. "I'm just depressed and annoyed over the failure of all the males of the world to be nice."
"Okay."
"I think Lita is trying to say…"
"She has PMS." Came the raspy deep voice of Hunter Hearst Helmsley as he showed that he was awake. Three sets of eyes turned towards the long haired blonde man and saw that he was sitting up and trying to politely to extract himself from Victoria's grasp.
"What did you say?" Lita said accusingly.
"Nothing Red. Just that ya have your thong all in a bunch because it's that time of the month more than likely. That is usually the reason most women get all uptight and bitchy like you're being right now."
"Excuse me, but it's not my time of the month and even if it is or isn't how in the hell do you know?"
"Damn Red I think I know ya pretty good. I've been working with you for over six years so I'd think I can guess pretty well when you're on the rag and when you're not."
"Okay that is too much information I never wanted to know." Randy said as he got up and straightened himself out and making his way to the door. "And on that note…as much fun as watching Li kill Hunter would be I really need to go catch some zzz so night ladies." Randy said as he exited.
"Hey before you jump on me, I'm just stating facts, girls, and you know it."
By this time the blonde man had risen from the bed and was stretching out his arms and shoulders to shake off the sleep.
Lita and Candice were both eerily quiet.
"Ladies?"
"Hunter I know that you know me well…but right now is not the time to act like you understand or know anything personal enough about me to decide if I am on my period. And I will repeat I am not. I've just had a very bad day because all males of the human species suck. And you are a good case in point. You think just because I am acting bitchy it is because of a chemical imbalance."
"Well if the shoe fits…" Hunter began but never finished as he felt himself being pulled towards the ground by two furious looking women in the forms of Candice and Victoria, who had been faking sleep in order to catch the large man off guard.
Hunter yelped in pain as first Candice hit him, then Victoria, but then he almost screamed in pain as Victoria picked his head up by the hair and held it up for Lita to slap, letting it drop after she got a good one in. Hunter managed to escape as the women got off him.
"Now why did you do that?"
He said as he rubbed at his jaw and quickly made his way to the door.
"We did it because you're being an ass like Cena was. Now good night Hunter and please don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out." Candice said as the man did just as advised.
Lita let out a breathe and rose from the bed on which they had attacked the Game. She made her way over to her back and extracted some pjs and her shower stuff.
"Li what's really wrong? I mean we helped you take out some anger on Hunter, but what is really wrong?" Victoria asked. She had been awake for most of the conversations since Lita came in, she just chose to pretend sleep for the hell of it.
"Nothing. It's just been a bad day all around and I want to go to sleep. So if I don't see you Vic, good night." Then she made her way to the bathroom, closing the door behind her.
The two brunettes left in the room shared a look and both shook their heads.
"What are we going to do about her?" Victoria said, allowing the question to linger in the silence of the room.
"I don't know, but we need to do it soon. I don't think she can go on like this much more. I mean I understand being down on men and thinking they suck, but she is like this all the time and I am really afraid of the cause."
"Me too…I think I know what's wrong though."
Candice's eyebrow rose in question.
"She needs to get laid."
"What?"
"You heard me. It's been how long since she dated Hardy and Edge?"
"I see what you mean." Candice said after some thought.
"So what are we going to do about it?"
Both women grew silent as they began to think until finally Candice exclaimed and broke out into a smile.
"Yes?"
"I got the perfect idea…we'll play matchmaker for her."
"What?"
"We will play match maker for her and find her a guy. We'll find Lita's perfect guy and then she won't have anymore problems."
"I guess that could work, but I was just thinking we could find her a guy to have sex with and let them at each other."
"Vicky!"
"What?"
"Nothing…it's just I think Lita needs a guy for more than just one night and I intend that we find that guy for her."
-X-
So what do y'all think? I hope it was written well enough and made sense, if not…oh well…at least it's an update! Mel