Immediately after Charlie left, Locke took off in the direction Diana had gone. Desmond watched him leave, then turned to Eko, "Romeo and Juliet on the Island of Dr. Moreau, yeh? Now that the smoke has cleared, perhaps we ought to survey the damage?" Eko nodded a silent assent and followed Desmond back into the Swan.
Locke caught up to Diana, gathering up her net and preparing to head back to the beach. "Need some help?" he offered gently.
"I always need help with this thing," she said with a rueful smile, "and it's still not as big as Jin wants it." Silently they worked together gathering it up.
Then John said, "I am sorry I worried you. I was completely wrong, but I was so sure I was right. Now the Hatch is wrecked. People might have been hurt. Nothing makes any sense to me any more." He picked up the bulky and heavy net and said, "I think I can carry this net back to the beach for you without screwing it up."
"John, don't be so hard on yourself. You have done amazing, astonishing things to help us all. Anyone who dares great things also risks great failures. I would still bet on you to be the one who brings back the next great blessing to our village." He shook his head, and said, "I don't think many of the others would agree with you, Diana, I'm not sure even I do." And they walked home silently in the gathering twilight.
Since Desmond and Eko had stayed to survey the damage to the Hatch, Locke and Diana arrived at the beach before them. Rose came running up. "What happened?", she asked.
Locke sighed and began by taking the blame, "It was all my fault..." Diana filled her water bottle and sought the solitude of her hut. It was different from any other shelter on the beach, an upright bamboo hut, actually a bit into the trees, with a floor elevated above the ground, a thatched roof and a roll-up bamboo blind as a front door. Inside was surprising, too, a rope hammock spanned the round interior, which had hooks and shelves full of handmade items. There was soap, rope, floats made from foam scavenged from the plane, reed mats, coconuts fashioned into oil lamps, containers of sea salt, hammered shapes of aluminum and carved bits of wood. As soon as she entered, she took down a tiny battered book, no larger than the palm of her hand, bound in green leather and began to read aloud, "I lift up mine eyes to the hills. From whence cometh my help?"
Locke had finished his account to Rose and had received a sardonic lecture for his trouble. Charlie could not have been more pleased. Only Rose, Bernard and Claire had heard it. This was going better than he could have hoped. He would let Locke have just a moment's peace and then drop a hint to the crabby woman from Wisconsin. "If Hurley were here," he thought, "the news would go through the camp in huge clumps." Minimizing the size of each group would lengthen the revenge he would have on Locke for punching him. And when Hurley came back, a hint that the blowup would stop the airdrops of Apollo Bars would probably provoke an attack as severe as Hurley had meted out to Sawyer. "Oh, yes," he thought, "I know just how to pace it. I'll even let him think it is over and then drop it on him again. He's such a sodding busybody, it's no more than he deserves." He had a serene, satisfied look on his face as he bounced Aaron on his knee and remembered Claire's kiss.
An hour later, Locke had endured the inquisition from Rose, from crabby Patty, from Neil the Frogurt Guy and now, the huffy Harvard lawyer was lighting into him. "How dare you take such an action on your own? Who are you to make such critical decisions for all of us? Who elected you King of the Island? You stupid screw-up, you killed Boone and now you're working on killing us all. Are you an idiot? I think we ought to consider locking you up before you do any more harm." The way the man was ranting it was obvious he wasn't going to wind down soon. Diana emerged from her hut and walked over to the water trough, right next to the group.
"You owe us all for wrecking the hatch. Now we have no electricity, no washer, no dryer, no hot water, no shower. How can you pay that back, huh, Locke? How?" he glared at Locke, his face suffused with blood, sweat running down his brow, trembling with rage. "Funny you should mention paybacks, Bruce," Diana said in a gentle and humorous tone, "I pay Rose back for my laundry, by making her soap. John Locke pays Kate for the fruit she gathers with boar meat. Jack pays Jin back for the fish with medical services. I've seen you give Rose your laundry; I've given you soap and rope; Jack's given you medical care; Jin's given you fish; Hurley even built you a golf course. But I have never seen your Harvard educated self doing anything for anybody."
"I beg your pardon, does anyone here need legal services? I'll be glad to assist. Anyone interested in suing Oceanic Airlines? Class action suit, anyone?"
"Bruce, when the market changes, you've got to change your product. I'll be happy to retrain you as a leather tanner or metal worker. Otherwise, find a need and fill it. Beginning today, people, I am instituting trading for my goods. One bar of soap represents 4 hours of hard work for me. Be prepared to bring your stock in trade or ask me what I need in the way of scraps and materials. Claire will get what she needs from me for free, because she is rearing our next generation." When Diana completed this announcement, she slipped back into her hut. John looked thoughtfully after her as the group dispersed.
The next morning, John sought out Desmond. "Desmond, I have some questions to ask you about your attempted escape from our fondly regarded 'Craphole Island'. Have you got some free time?"
Des turned up the wattage on that wry smile and said "I may be able to work you in between half-past and elevenses. What do you need?"
John settled in on the sand by him and asked, "Did you use GPS or a compass on your boat? How did you estimate your speed? Do you know the coordinates of where we are?"
"Hold up, mate," Desmondobjected with a put-upon expression, "I can't answer as fast as you're askin'."
As they settled in for a nice long chat, Charlie was trying to teach Bruce how to husk coconuts, without much success. Eko was drafting Neil to help with the church building. Bernard and Diana were trying to work some metal while Rose, lounging in the shade with Aaron, watched.
"Diana, do you ever slow down? Girl, you are gonna run outta gas if you don't recharge."
"Rose, you remember how everyone reacted after the crash? You were worried for Bernard, but you were sure he was alive. I got up off the ground with a big grin on my face, grateful to have been saved. But ever since then, I've had a very bad feeling, like time is running out. Like there are things I must get done. And even worse than that, like only I can do them. That sounds real conceited, doesn't it? But it doesn't feel like I'm hot stuff or anything, just like others have their work to do and I have mine. They can't do mine and I can't do theirs."
"Sounds like a standard case of survivor guilt to me," quipped Rose with a little huff. "You're just trying to justify your survival by earning it."
"Likely you're right," mused Diana, "whenever I think about the dead, I remember a quote I read somewhere that said something like 'when an old person dies, it is like a library of irreplaceable books has burned to the ground.'"
"So why don't you?" Rose insisted.
"Why don't I what?"
"Why don't you take a few days? Just stare at the ocean, spend the nights stargazing, use some of that coconut oil on your skin instead of in the soap?"
"There's something I've been avoiding thinking about, and if I do that, I won't be able to avoid it anymore."
"You're just puttin' off trouble then. What's so bad you can't face it?"
"My mother died, just two weeks before we crashed. She was my only family. Somehow, I never thought she would die. I just feel so alone when I think of it..." and she began to tear up.
"You poor thing! No family at all? No cousins? Nothing?" At each of these questions, Diana had shaken her head no. Rose then put her arm around her and said, "Oh yes you do! You've got a niece, Claire, a great-nephew, Aaron, a sister Rose and a brother-in-law Bernard."
The two women embraced and kissed. Aaron was so tickled that he started to shriek with laughter. Metalwork forgotten, Bernard and Diana got down on the blanket with Rose to revel in Aaron's antics.
In the afternoon, Locke approached Diana's hut. "Knock, knock," he said.
"Who's there?" she replied.
"Banana," he smirkingly answered.
"Banana, who?" she tolerantly asked.
"Banana, banana, banana, banana, banana! Knock, knock."
"Who's there?" she answered giggling.
"Orange," he said with a very self-satisfied air.
"Orange, who?" she barely got out between outright laughing and gasping for air.
"Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?" he finished and they both sat down laughing helplessly.
"That is so stupid," she shrieked, "and it's my favorite!"
They had reached that point of hilarity when it is out of control and simply must be ridden out to the end. Finally, wiping tears from their eyes, sniffling and fighting the last little giggles and snorts, they shared a look of comradeship very like that shared by playmates who are so attuned that they like all the same games.
"John, you have no idea how much I needed that. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Some day when you are down and everything looks hopeless, I'll tell you a shaggy dog story."
"Madame," said John with a burlesque of a Musketeer bow, "you are showing ze true spirit of-how you say-gonorosity uh gerenousy, uhm gen-er-ous-i-ty."
"So, are you here for your climbing harness? It's finished." She fetched a rope pouch from off a hook and brought it out. "See, if the person in it is conscious, the arms go here. If it's an unconscious person, you put the arms here and it holds them upright so they can't fall out or be choked. I made these climbing gloves and this leg sleeve for if you want to slid down quickly. Up here, this is a pulley set up so you don't have to pull up your whole weight. This hook lets you fasten it to a tree without even tying a knot. But it hasn't been field tested, I recommend you do that with a partner, over something safe, like a pond before you trust your life to it."
"How did you figure this out, Diana? What are you back home, a wilderness survival expert?"
"Nearly, I'm an IRS agent."
"That explains it. Rope to tie the taxpayer up, soap to clean up his dirty deeds and salt to rub in his wounds."
"Don't forget the lamps! Light to show all his hidden sins." quipped Diana.
"Right, um, I was talking to Desmond about how he ended up back here. I think it was because he was using a compass. The hatch was built here because of a unique magnetic source here. All of our compasses have been useless here, so I was thinking..." he paused obviously gathering his nerve, "could you make celestial navigation aids?"
"You mean precise aids, not just east is approximately where the sun rises and west is approximately where it sets."
"I mean something which would enable us on the island to be able to say the hatch is precisely northnortheast, the caves precisely northwest, something which would enable us to map the island."
"This is possible, but time consuming, I would have to set up an observatory on flattish, firm, cleared high altitude ground for the best results. There would have to be two aids, one for day and one for night, and they absolutely will not be idiot-proof. The results will depend upon the expertise of the user. We're talking a week at the very least, if I have a dedicated helper, if we can find an observatory site, if the weather cooperates and most importantly if the site is security system free. But John, even with all that, it wouldn't be all that accurate. Are you sure it's worth the time?"
"Yesterday you said you trusted me, did you mean it?"
"Yes, absolutely, if you say you need it, I will do it. But John, a week or two weeks? We're almost out of soap, I haven't finished the net. The camp is short Jack, Sayid, Jin, Sun, Kate, Hurley and James. Can't it wait?"
"I've been wrong before, and maybe I'm wrong now, but I think we need to get serious about learning the island. Remember how I told you the Others ambushed us when we were searching for Michael? How did they know where we would be? We didn't just meet up with them; they surrounded us. I think they have surveillance systems all over, and just maybe a subterranean transit system." He tried to gauge her reaction, "Do you think that sounds nuts?"
"Let's see, so far we have living survivors from a jet disintegration at altitude, intelligent black smoke and a grounded slave ship way inland on hill...an underground transit system fits right in, the surveillance may be a little too mundane, though."
"I knew I could count on you," he got to his feet and considered. "When do you think we can leave?"
"Let me get together a list of supplies, and let me try to get enough coconut oil tomorrow to make a batch of soap. If you get all we need together tomorrow, we can leave the next morning. I imagine I can get Charlie or someone to cook the soap."
"Excellent!" boomed John and he flashed her his brightest grin as he strode away.
"What have I done?" moaned Diana and she fell back onto her pillow.
She moped over to Rose and said, "Now I've done it, I've really gone and done it."
"What now?" sighed Rose heavily, "It couldn't be all that bad."
"I have agreed to go work on a project for a week or two away from the beach."
"What's so bad about that? It'll be quiet, you can think, pray, reflect and mourn for your mother. It sounds like it's just what you need."
"One, remember please that I am a total chicken. If the security system goes off, I will likely do the stupidest thing possible. Two, I said I needed an assistant, and John Locke may be planning to be that assistant. Rose, what could be stupider than a woman our age with a crush on a man who doesn't know she's alive? I am bound to betray myself. He'll do or say something friendly and I'll think it's something more. If only I could cancel and back out of it, but I don't see how without making everything worse. If only Hugo were here, I could probably talk him into going along and that would fix everything."
Totally exasperated, Rose fixed her with a gimlet eye, "Uh huh. When a woman has worked herself up to the state you're in, she isn't likely to stop 'til she has made a complete fool of herself."
"Thank you, dear sister, for the emotional support." Diana rolled her eyes and continued. "You said I needed a break and to mourn for my mom. This will be all that. Maybe Locke willbe gone or busy most of the time, and he doesn't talk much. Maybe I can get through it if Ijust keep my mind on my business. I really will have a lot to do. And anyway, I think Claire likes Locke and she likes him. what do you think, Bernard?"
Bernard whipped around wearing that universal guy look that says, "I know I can't answer this question in any way that won't get me in trouble". He pondered for a moment, and then shrugged and said, "Gotta go-" and darted off toward the latrine.
The supply list turned out to be no problem. By noon they had it all and even some things Diana had not imagined were available. Charlie had volunteered to make the soap. The unfinished net would be the province of Claire and crabby Patty. A couple of the younger guys promised to do the daily scraping of the boar skins, and that was it. Diana realized that all she had to do was pack her bag. Stepping inside her hut, she took a visual inventory. She began to fill her backpack, with a couple of coconut oil lamps, her southern skies astronomy guide, the little green Bible and then, hand shaking she picked up a large brown envelope. The handwriting on it said, "To be read by my daughter Diana after my death." She pulled from inside it an ordinary black and white composition book. Slowly opening it, she read:
"My Dear Diana,
I am aware that from time to time you have doubted my veracity, but if you are reading this, then I am dead, and dead suddenly, with no way to communicate to you certain information which you must have. Please consider now whether it is in any way possible that I have been murdered. If it is possible, you must act as though it is so and protect yourself accordingly. You will be the target now. I have always told you the truth, Diana, if not the whole truth. And the only reason I have had for holding back the whole truth is your own good. And every instruction I ever gave you still holds true. You are special, you must hide your special ability from others and most importantly, you must never love any man; must never have sex with any man; must never marry. To do so would be to open Pandora's box."
"No!" shrieked Diana and threw the book at the wall.
Charlie peeked in and said, "What? Is your new bikini out of style already?"
Diana instantly relented. "Charlie, you goof ball, I don't wear a bikini, I always swim in the nude."
"Hey, hey, Lady Di, you're getting good at this." Charlie looked impressed and full of energy.
"I have the best teacher." Charlie bowed. "And the best motivation in Sawyer the man of a thousand gibes."
"Cheer up, when you get back he'll be right here to torment you."
"I guess I'm all packed up," she said as she retrieved the book and stuffed it in her pack.