Guardian of Dreams: Hope this was soon enough!
RougePriest:Goodness, thanks!
Reptilian Goddess: I'm confused too... but it will all work out!
GaBo0: Would it help if I admitted I'm confused too? Or is that just disheartening?
Sarkywoman: Yes, I'm badly tangled up. And yes, a naked Draco makes it all better!
YG: Thank you thank you!
Ihni: Here you are, dearie! Enjoy...
Chapter Six: Coping
The fervent kiss broke, and Draco swallowed in air through swollen, blushing lips. Sirius touched them with a gentle caress, his fingers quaking slightly in their attempt to be utmostly soft. The red mouth was hot to the touch, and the boy flinched. Smiling roguishly, Sirius ran his tongue over Draco's lips, savoring the small panting whimpers that accompanied each careful swipe. His hand rested solidly on the blonde's stomach, and he applied just enough pressure to feel the muscles jump beneath his fingers.
Draco gasped.
"See what you can achieve if you know your way around the block? As for myself, I drive the Town Car."
The boy spoke through his teeth. "Riveting pillow talk, your wit will ever astound me."
"What would you know about pillow talk? I thought keeping me talking was the goal anyway."
"I didnÕt know it would be this painful."
A somber look descended upon Sirius's features. He lazily trailed a finger across Draco's chest. "It always hurts a little."
Holding his breath, Draco shot Sirius a sharp look. The man stared seriously back. "I hadn't forgotten that."
The midmorning sun did little to penetrate the window, and outside a grayness settled over the moors. Shivering a tiny bit with the thought of the cutting winds out there, Sirius lay back beside Draco, crossing his arms behind his head. Next to him, legs tangled in the sheets, Draco regarded him sidelong. "You were seeker, right? Do you miss Quidditch?"
"I suppose I do."
"Lucius wouldn't let you play it, would he. He always hated the sport, except when Gryffindor was beat into the ground."
"Always an uplifting subject." Draco shifted, reaching down to tug up the covers over his waist. He might as well have some shame. But Sirius reached over and pulled them down again, smirking at his scowl.
"Don't corrupt my view."
A spark ignited in gray eyes. "Need all the stimulation you can get? Having a hard time getting it up?"
Laughing, Sirius hooked his arm around Draco's waist and drew him closer. "Snotty prat, you wish. But I'm not that rusty." He buried his nose in Draco's hair, feeling blonde lashes tickle his jaw line. "I remember Quidditch."
"It's the only thing Gryffindors have going for them. Lacking, otherwise, in brains." Sirius lifted his chin. Draco coyly shrugged against Sirius's chest.
"Little blighter," Sirius murmured, tilting his head to catch the boy's lips. But Draco drew away, and the awkwardness that had been absent returned. For a moment they had almost been comfortable. In the peaceful state, Sirius's anger and lust from before had been vanquished. Now he looked down into Draco's eyes, and saw the beginning of a fight. The boy's body was against his, he could feel the soft skin next to his own. "You deny me one kiss?"
"You deny me my freedom?"
His grip on the pointed chin tightened. "I could deny you much more, but I'm being patient, aren't I." There was no question in his voice. Against his knuckles he could feel Draco swallow. This time when he leaned forward, the boy's lips were there. He drew back only a bit, enough to see Draco's closed eyes, before he dipped his head again. The boy tasted warm.
Draco tried to relax. It was repulsive, kissing this man. The whiskers on his face scratched his jaw, and the overpowering tongue crowded his mouth unpleasantly. But Draco knew that kissing wasn't supposed to be pleasant. The last time he had kissed anyone before Sirius, it had been another episode featuring his unwilling participation. The Deatheater had been drunk, and everything about him was hard and pressing. His hands hurt, his teeth on Draco's lips hurt. Draco flinched when Sirius's teeth grazed his lips, tensing when big hands settled on his shoulders, fingers pressing his skin. Eyes flying open, he forcefully tore his lips away, the stifling sensation of Sirius's mouth hanging on his lips. But the man's black eyes were half closed, and he didn't seem to notice Draco's panic. Instead, Sirius attacked Draco's throat, sucking avidly at the white skin. Teeth worked his flesh and it hurt. Draco could feel the blood rising to the surface, and he distantly remembered girls in his House at Hogwarts, sitting in the commons trying to cover up marks on their necks. He'd been so disgusted with them.
He started to move, rolling over onto Draco. The youth's skin was hot and smooth, his tongue explored the delicate collarbone and traced over the bobbing Adam's apple on the white throat. Merlin, he wanted him. When his hip bone brushed against Draco's inner thigh, he let out a surprised groan.
"Animal, stop it!"
"But I don't want to," he said calmly. Draco looked up at him with shaking rage, limbs quaking on the sheets. Sirius took hold of the thin wrists roughly and shoved them over Draco's head. "Just enjoy yourself."
"You're telling me this while you rape me?" His breath was coming out so fast that dots littered his eyes, swallowing air, he laid his head back, shutting them. "The Deatheaters never sunk this low."
Sirius increased the pressure on Draco's wrists, watching impassively as the boy's face twisted in pain. "They only tortured and killed innocent people."
"And what do you call this?" Draco stared up at his captor-that's what the Auror was-and laughed bitterly, throwing his head to the side. "I have too much pride to kill myself. But this is the equivalent." He ground his teeth. "Maybe I deserve this irony, who knows. Being fucked by my rival's Godfather. Why not? So do it, Sirius Black. Put it in me. Carry out every little fantasy you've been hoarding away in that demented psyche of yours. Pretend I'm my father, pretend I'm the Werewolf, convince yourself I'm bloody Hagrid. We both know I'm screwed-soon to be acceptable in every meaning of the word. And why am I scared of you? I've been beaten, starved, delirious, cursed, hexed, humiliated. But never raped. Mind fucked numerous times over, but never actually penetrated." He spit out the last word like a curse. "And that makes it sound so harmless; penetrated. So clean." His laughter dissolved into dry sobs, no tears falling from his eyes. The grip on his wrists lessened, and he was suddenly angry. "Don't pity me! If your going to use me, do it. Just forget I'm human and do whatever you want to me, I won't care."
Face constricted in reaction to the tangent, Sirius sat back. Draco glared fiercely up at him, his chest rising and falling with the passion of his pain. He'd never looked more like Lucius, and never had Sirius felt such a sharp yearning before. Everything the boy just ranted he wanted to do, and do it vehemently. But a higher sense of duty wriggled into his mind, rigorous training over a lifetime whispering, He's exhausted himself. The darker side considered the physical accomplishments he could carry out with Draco in this state, but the more professional side was adamant. He reached over to the table, pushing Draco's hands into his heaving chest. Then he anchored them there with all his weight, the pale fingers almost disappearing into the milky white skin of the boy's torso. Yet he didn't notice, his eyes quickly found the thought trackers and he grabbed them, fitting one onto his own head before securing one onto Draco's.
The boy was furious.
"You bastard son of a whore!" He was almost gnashing his teeth, focusing on the most violent thoughts he could, and throwing them at Sirius's mental presence. But the Auror's intuition was right, he had exhausted himself, and soon his eyes rolled up into his head, mind trapped under a more painful version of Veritaserum. Hands clawed through his mind, and he whimpered through his teeth. Sirius's breath was hitting his face. Mind being splayed open, he was easily reminded of that terrible time: the drunken Deatheater and his first kiss. Sirius's mental form seemed to pause over that particular memory, strong will holding Draco's beaten mental form at his side. Together, with their minds' eyes, they watched the scene. Again, just like in the moment, Draco felt the hard hands scorching his stomach and his back. Rushed breaths mingled wetly in the chamber as the young Deatheater tore Draco's robes, mouth seeking out his chest. Their mouths met in a tangle of tongues and lips, rancid breath laced with spoiled alcohol bathed his tongue. Draco tried to break the kiss, but the Deatheater was stronger than him, moreso now that he was drunk. And when he crushed Draco to him-Draco jerked on the bed in heat of the memory-he had felt the Deatheater's lust against his stomach.
Crying out, he thrashed under Sirius, breaking that memory, and they moved on. He was too weak to stop the indexing of his personal memories; some forgotten, some treasured, some painful. The Auror didn't need to ask questions, he just willed the answers to appear. Draco choked when a fuzzy scene took shape, Sirius's will growing next to him as the memory became clear.
Hogwarts, one of the emptier floors. He'd met Potter their for an impromptu duel. One he was actually angry enough to attend. Just he and Potter faced each other. He'd fired early, Potter fell, but managed to keep to his knees. Draco felt a painful stab of smug triumph, mottled by Sirius's presence. Then they moved on.
Going back further, and Draco knew Sirius was searching for Lucius. As the trackers performed their functions to the tee, Sirius had been absorbing answers. Yes, the Manor was the last stronghold. No, Draco didn't know of any other sects existing. Yet, still no Lucius. If he ever appeared (and Sirius surely paused for those memories), the man was out of focus, faint. But it was beginning to grind on Draco's mind, a splitting headache was forming on his brow.
"S-stop," he managed, teeth nearly cracking with the cruel vigor of his pain. Sweat slicked his wrists and Sirius's, sliding on his chest. Beads of perspiration fell into his eyes, dripping from the tips of Sirius's hair. Their sweat smelled thick and musky in the air, clouding the tracker progress even more. Though by now, they had been dragged back all the way through Draco's first year of Hogwarts. Though the Auror couldn't even be aware, he was so focused on any glimpses of Lucius. Draco's body arched and burned as Sirius hips were compelled into his own with a brutal shove as a startling memory surprised both of them.
Through the fog of mental and physical struggle, Draco could make out the last identifiable vision of his past. He was very small, only a toddler. And Lucius, he was there. And in his father's hands lay coiled a serpent with wicked green scales and poison eyes. It's teeth flashed, and sunk into Draco's arm. His mental form even felt the sting and he cried out, Sirius's and his tangled hands shifted down his body as his chest jerked. The snake's poison spread, and his mother swept him up into her arms.
And the last instance of recollection was Lucius's proud face, the only time Draco saw his father proud of him. He had survived the snakebite, unlike others before him. Lucius mouthed something, his face filling the mental picture.
My son.
They both were violently ejected, spines freezing in shocking paralyzation as the thought trackers disengaged. Sirius's head hit Draco's chest and the boy rocked back, spilling his tracker to the floor. Heavy breaths, pants of exhaustion, were all either could manage. The first to recover, Sirius tried to lift his head, but ultimately left it to rest on Draco's jaggedly rising ribs. Their hands were wound so tightly together the knuckles were white. Sirius pulled his hand away, curling his fingers to exercise the muscles. Beneath him, Draco had quieted.
"I know everything about you," Sirius said wearily, lips stirring in the sheen of sweat. His hair felt heavy and matted.
"A bit like a one way mirror." It hurt to talk.
"The way you think, the things you feel. It's never gone this far before." He turned his head, lips now touching Draco's navel. "I've never known anyone so intimately in my life. Not even myself."
"Too much like a one way mirror."
"Let's break the glass."
"No, you have what you want. It's done, Black. You've done it, you've gotten all the answers. And all that sexual tension can be released on the Werewolf. Just leave me in peace."
"Not anything that I want. Not one thing." His words felt so slow. He was so tired, but a renewed sight of the being underneath him propelled him onwards. "You're beautiful. I've loved you since first year-"
"Black?" Draco raised his head.
"I can finally have you now. Haven't I passed the test yet?"
Draco's eyes widened as Sirius opened his mouth to shove his tongue into his navel, and over his stomach. "Sirius," he hissed.
"Finally I know all your secrets, all of those family codes you protected so selfishly. And no matter what James thinks, or Moony; you're still so beautiful."
A hot mouth found his and Draco struggled against Sirius desperately as the man lay heavily on top of him, forcing his arms down to his sides. Their tongues battled, Draco thrashing his head from side to side. He bit Sirius's lip hard enough to draw blood, and the man smiled, wiping it away. Then Draco cried out as a callused hand pressed between his legs. The sheets under him grew damp as he writhed and twisted, Sirius's fingers driving him crazy with heat. Small, high-pitched whimpers rode the end of each breath, and he felt helpless. Sirius gritted his teeth against his cheek, the muscles in his arms flexing as he moved faster. Draco jerked under him, choking on his own hitching breath. Cut moans slipped out between his pants, shaping Sirius's name, riding the knife-edge of frightened protest and mindless encouragement. He seemed to sober quickly though, and began to fight frantically when Sirius started chanting heatedly into his ear.
"Lucius. Lucius, Lucius..."
A/N: Okay, Sirius's weird lapse of sanity will be explained... I hope... in the next chapter! And I know they're awfully short, but short ones are all I have time for anymore. Also, I'm thinking next chap is the last. Suggestions still needed/welcome!
Villain