A/N : Fluffy Spuffyness is on it's way, I promise. Just gotta work through some stuff on the way to that.
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 17

"You got everything?" Willow checked as she stood with Buffy by her car, watching her put her bags into the back.

"It's just a weekend in LA, Will" the blonde reminded her with a weak smile, "It's not like I need that much stuff"

"I'm sorry I can't come with" her friend told her, looking guilty, "I hate the idea of you going away all by yourself, even if it is just a weekend"

"It's no big" Buffy lied, knowing she was hating the idea of being by herself for two whole days. Time alone was time to think and doing that only led to badness lately. Spike filled her head, thoughts of all the time they'd spent together since they'd first met; fighting, talking, laughing, kissing, and more. She shivered involuntarily, bringing herself out of her semi-daze as Willow apologised again for not being able to join her on her trip.

"Will, please, stop with the sorrys already" Buffy urged her, "I get that you have a thing with Oz this weekend, it's your anniversary and you like each other so much, I'm just so happy for you, really" she assured her, feeling anything but happy in reality. Still, she did mean what she said. She was pleased to see Willow and Oz getting along so well.

It was a little weird, Buffy so hadn't expected her best friend to end up with rock-star guy, she'd always thought it'd be some smart, rich, fancy type with a double-barrelled last name and plans to take over his father's business one day. Oz was a world away from the made up man in Buffy's head, a guitarist whom to her knowledge didn't have a first or last name, he was just Oz, who changed his hair colour with his mood, but clearly adored Willow. That made every other thing about him pointless and unimportant.

"Buffy, I really think..." the red-head began, looking at her shoes and up again before continuing, "I know it's fast but, I think this could be it, y'know? I kinda love him" she smiled, blushing just from saying the words, as if she was confessing something much worse.

"I am so happy for you Will, that's great" Buffy smiled, hugging her friend, "I so want this to work out for you"

"I wanted things to work out for you too" Willow told her as she hugged her back, "I mean, I know there's Angel, but I kinda thought..." she shifted awkwardly as they parted and Buffy looked so sad, "What about Spike?" Willow dared to ask, hoping to avoid her friend bursting into to tears and/or getting angry.

"I don't know" the blonde sighed, "I thought I had feelings, and he said he had feelings, and it seemed like we could... and now..." she closed her eyes as her sentences devolved into fragments and tears threatened to spill down her cheeks, "I guess it just wasn't meant to be" she said with a shrug and a forced smile that wasn't half so nonchalant as she would've liked.

Willow looked like she might cry too, for the sake of her friend who she was sure was only sticking with Angel because it was easier, and not because she really loved him at all anymore. She was certain now, more than ever, that Buffy's feelings for Spike ran as deep as feelings could run, and from what she'd seen of the man himself as well as heard from Oz, she was almost a hundred percent certain the lead singer of The Chosen felt the same way.

"I really have to go" Buffy reminded her friend, hugging her once again, before getting in her car and starting up the engine.

"Call when you get there" Willow told her and the blonde nodded a promise that she would, before putting the car in gear and driving away.

Friday night passed without a hitch at the Bronze. Buffy had told Doyle that he and Spike were in charge til she returned, but hadn't even offered so much as a goodbye to the bleached blond. He was uncharacteristically quiet whilst he was working, not really talking to the staff or the customers any more than he had to. Neither Doyle or Cordelia said anything to him and hoped that his jam session with the band the next morning would boost his spirits.

The Chosen always practised in the Bronze on a Saturday afternoon but this particular week the session had been shifted to the morning, so Oz had time to prepare a romantic dinner at his place for Willow, for their one month anniversary. His mind had really not been on the music he was playing, that much was obvious, though he didn't mess up at all, it was clear from the grin on his face his mind was constantly engaged with thoughts of a certain Miss Rosenburg. Spike found it easier not to look at his friend. Of course he didn't begrudge the pair their happiness, Oz was a decent sort, and Willow seemed nice enough, but Spike could do without a reminder that other people's love life was on the up and up, whilst his heart had been trampled once again.

With practise over, Oz rushed off to prepare for his evening with Willow, and Xander headed out too, offering Faith a ride home. She'd got most of the way to the door with him and was about to agree to catching a lift in his car when she looked back at Spike, now sat on the edge of the stage, looking so lost and lonely.

"Raincheck, Xand" she said, patting him on the shoulder, "You go on, I got somethin' I gotta do" she told him.

Xander didn't ask what exactly her plans were, after all he could do without the graphic tales of what she and the Bronze's latest barman or some such person would be doing to keep themselves amused. It seemed she was actually the only one who'd really noticed the pain Spike was in.

"Y'know, Blondie, I thought you were smarter than this" Faith sighed as she walked back over to the him, removing her jacket on the way. She pulled herself up to sit beside him on the stage as he spoke to her.

"Smarter than what?" Spike checked, with a slight frown and a tilt of his head.

"Smarter than all this hurt pride crap you got goin' on" the girl told him, shaking her head, "You and the boss-lady, you want your heads slammin' together, maybe that'd knock some sense into you"

"You know how much I hate riddles, pet" Spike reminded her, "You got somethin' you wanna say to me you bloody well say it, right? 'S the way it's always been with you and me"

"Too true man" Faith nodded in agreement, "You want it on the line, you got it, you love her" she said simply, "And she probably loves you too, and here you are in two different towns both feelin' sorry for yourselves. That don't make you too smart from where I'm sittin'" Faith told him with a look. Spike glanced away.

"Love" he smirked as he said the word," 'S funny thing, 'specially when you say it" he told her, looking sideways at her as he grabbed his packet of fags and offered her one. Faith was smirking similarly as she put a cigarette in her mouth and they both lit up.

"Look, I ain't sayin' I'm no expert on the whole hearts and flowers deal" she told him as she blew out smoke, "Me, I don't hold with all the romantic stuff, I'm strictly get in, get what I need, and get out, no strings, no problems"

"Sort of noticed that, luv" Spike nodded.

"Yeah, and I noticed you're different" Faith said simply, "You can't just, y'know, come and go" she said with a look that conveyed her full meaning, "It ain't your style, and I got some respect for you for that, but right now I still think you're an idiot"

"Well, don't stop there, pet" Spike urged her, as he turned himself to face her better and blew out smoke from his cigarette, "Do tell me more" he urged her, only half joking and Faith smirked as she pulled her legs up to sit lotus style before him, explaining exactly what she meant.

"B got under your skin, man, and you got under hers. Everybody knows it, but I get the 'I told you so' cos damn I saw it first" she told him with a self-satisfied grin as she finished up her cigarette and stubbed it out in the ashtray between them, "You guys were fighting so hard cos you wanted each other. The animal thing, that was there from day one, and before you knew it you guys had hit the big L word"

"One of us had" Spike muttered, sounding bitter, and Faith couldn't help but laugh.

"Both of you" she told him firmly, "She's just better at hiding it is all, or maybe it's cos she had that huge hunk of Angel-type mass to hide behind" she shrugged, "I dunno, the point is, she feels the same as you. It's just fear that stops you two getting it on"

"What's she afraid of?" Spike asked with a confused expression, doing nothing for Faith's attempts to keep a straight face in this situation that ought to be quite serious.

"I didn't say she was the one who was freaked" she pointed out, and it was Spike's turn to laugh at that.

"You know me better than most, Lehane" he reminded her, "Exactly how many times you seen me scared?" he asked.

"Less times than I got fingers on one hand" she admitted, "but I gotta tell you Spike, this is one of those times"

He could meet her eyes for only a few seconds before his bravado failed him and he glanced down at the stage, knowing she was right. He hated it, but he knew it was true. Drusilla had hurt him so badly before, and now he was in love again, he was petrified of that pain being inflicted on his heart for a second time. He'd got a taste of the damage Buffy could do this past month, the way she'd been with him right after they were together and he told her he loved her. She'd stomped on his feelings, made him feel worthless and dirty, a criminal of some kind just for daring to love someone like her.

"How'd you get so bloody smart?" he asked Faith as he glanced up at her, "So young and know so much about the world. 'S not bleedin' fair, is it?" he smirked slightly as he said it and his friend playfully punched him in the shoulder.

"Hey, I ain't so young I can't kick your ass if you tell anyone I was nice to you, got it?" she warned him, eyes sparkling with fun, "But you're decent, most of the time, kinda like the big brother The Powers That Be never gave me, y'know?" she shrugged, hating that she'd even started talking like this, but knowing it was all true and too late to take back, "I guess, you and the guys, you're pretty much my family, and I don't see my own suffer"

"Reckon I like this part of your attitude better than the rest of it, pet" Spike smirked, "You got a grown-up head there, haven't you, little girl?"

"Hey, just cos I don't wanna see you suffer cos of B, don't mean I won't kick your butt into next Tuesday you start with the 'little girl' stuff" she warned him poking a finger in his chest, "You wanna end up running to LA with bust ribs and a black eye?" she said threateningly, but with a look that told Spike she was only playing with him like she always did.

"Running to LA?" he echoed, that part of her sentence catching his attention more than the rest.

"To coin a popular Sunnydale phrase 'duh!'" she said exasperated by his attitude as they both scrambled to their feet, "Have my lips not been moving these past few minutes? Did someone shut off my volume or somethin'! Hello!" she started yelling at him as she pretended to knock on his head as if a door needed to be opened there, "Spike, you love her, you practically just told me that, and she loves you, got it?"

"S'pose" the bleached blond shrugged, still not completely convinced but knowing arguing about this with Faith would get him exactly nowhere at all.

"Then why the frickin' hell are you still here?" she asked him, rolling her eyes, "She wants you with her in LA, she actually asked you to go. Are you not seein' the real obvious movie-type moment in your head, when you show up at the fancy hotel and sweep her off her feet like a big damn hero?" she asked, wondering how this guy was so popular with any woman at all when he wasn't understanding the basics like this.

"Right" he said suddenly, realising she was actually making a lot of sense. Spike wasn't entirely sure how Faith knew all this stuff, sure she was a woman but she was very different from Buffy, not the chick-flick-watching, ice-cream-eating, happy-ever-after-wanting type at all, at least that's what he always thought...

With a smile he turned to leave, hopping off the stage and then jumping right back up again, spinning Faith around who had since turned her back on him.

"You forget where the door is?" she asked, looking a little startled as he grabbed her by the shoulders, pulled her in close and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"Don't care what they say about you, luv" he told her a moment later, "Bitch is only part of the story, you're a bloody good mate, got a heart of gold in there somewhere, and I'll always love you just a little bit for helpin' me out. Thanks, pet" he said sincerely, before turning away, jumping down from the stage and practically running for the door.

Faith stood up on the stage, watching him go, her hand going absently to her forehead where his lips had landed.

"You're welcome" she told the empty room, with a silly smile on her face, before she shook her head and went to find herself a drink.

To Be Continued...