Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to J.K. Rowling
Author's Note: Ha! Inspiration finally struck! Here it is...
Hogwarts Room of Records
Those Don't Come Off Like That
The screen now showed the fifth-year Gryffindor boys dormitory. Of course, it was exactly like all the other Gryffindor boys dormitories, and would have been like all Gryffindor dormitories except for the tall piles of sweaty, muddy, generally disgusting clothes that scared even the most zealous of house elves.
No, the only reason the Trio knew who belonged in that dormitory was because James Potter was sitting on his bed, reading something he Should Not Be Reading. That's right. He was reading muggle comics.
"That Jughead," he giggled. Suddenly, there was a disturbance from the bed next to his.
Sirius emerged from behind the closed curtains of his four-poster bed clad in only his briefs. That, in itself, was not an odd occurrence. He proceeded to walk to the middle of the dorm, where he shrieked, "HELLooooOOOO!" at the top of his voice, grinning widely.
What gave James true cause to look up, however, was when Sirius started doing a very crude version of the Robot. Suddenly, he scampered back behind the curtains of this bed. James shrugged it off, figuring it was just Sirius being, well, Sirius.
As James was approaching the halfway mark in his next comic book, Sirius emerged again, still clad only in briefs. He once again moved to the middle of the room, where he proceeded to squeal, "Me won the money! Me won the money!" while flapping his arms as if trying to fly. James' eyes widened, his jaw going slack with horror. Sirius, however, apparently didn't notice, as he pranced back to his bed, still pretending to fly.
It took James a bit longer to shrug the latest episode off. However, soon enough he was engrossed in his comics, giggling merrily. He only stopped to tell Remus, who had wandered through about twenty minutes after Sirius' second appearance, about the dance routine. Remus laughed before wandering out again.
However, nearly one hour and four comics later, Sirius decided he was a glutton for humiliation. Of course, James reflected, he had had way more caffeine than usual, and that does tend to do things to a person.
Sirius strutted to the middle of the room, clad in no more than he had been the previous two times. This time, he started rubbing his hands up and down his chest. He continued for a few moments, fidgeting around to a beat only he could hear before starting back to his bed. Halfway there, however, he seemed to change his mind and ran back, bending over and spanking himself, apparently unaware of the horrified look he was getting, or, really, that he had an audience at all. Dancing around one of the piles of clothes, he stopped suddenly, yanking up on the leg holes of his briefs. If James hadn't been innately aware that something like this could happen, he would have gotten quite an eyeful.
Sheepishly, Sirius lowered his hands, saying, "They don't come off like that," before hurrying back to his four-poster. James, deciding not to risk anymore of his sanity at 1:00 in the morning, went down to the common room in search of Remus.
"It was horrible," he told the tawny-haired boy in front of the fire. "Weird and disturbing don't even come close to describing it. I'm scarred for life! At the very least I'll have nightmares!"
Remus listened, finding it hard not to laugh. Of course, now that it was over, so was James.
"Forget it," James said, standing and yawning. "I'm going to bed. At least it wasn't Snivillus."
As the screen faded, Harry, Ron, and Hermione glanced at each other in horror.
"If either of you ever try something like that," Harry threatened, as Ron moaned about how he was going to have nightmares now, too. Hermione shushed them both, however, as the next 'episode' started.
Author's Note: As odd as this sounds, this story actually happened to an extent. My brother actually danced around like that one night while I was on the computer, reading Harry Potter fanfiction. I later told my sister about it. Really, I guess I can't claim to much of this chapter, huh?
Ah well. You've read, now review!