Yep - Grissom's at it again.
With compliments to sweet-surrender5, stareagle, tokensandbagger, abigailic and everyone else who review so faithfully. It makes one heck of a difference, I tell ya!
Oh look - I won the lottery, bought CSI and I now have Grissom living in my basement. Ain't I the lucky one... yeah - and then I woke up...
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The Plan
Shit.
Shit, shit…
Oh, bloody hell…
Shit, shi--
Please. Please stop it. Not this crap again…
Crap is exactly right – and at the moment, we're up to our ears in it…
Ignoring you. Sleeping. Piss off...
No more sleeping. We have to—
No. Not waking up. Not doing this with you. Not today...
I don't think you grasp the full gravity of the…ah…situation…
I grasp just fine. You're in Sara's apartment, in Sara's room, in Sara's bed. And not so very long ago – in…cough…Sara.
Aagghh! You just had to go there, didn't you?
He-he…
Stop it.
What?
Stop bloody smirking. This is bad, this is very, very bad…
That's not what you were saying a few hours ago. Oh, how quickly they forget…
Not. Helping. Me. She can wake up at any minute, so stop wasting time by talking out of your ass. We still don't have a plan of action!
Yes we do. She wakes up, you lay one on her - like you mean it - and we get this party started…again…
Oh for fuck's sakes!
Here's hoping…
Go screw your--
With a…ah forget it. That one's just too easy.
Look, I honestly don't see what all the drama is about.
Really? Then allow me to clarify.
I'm in bed. With her. On the morning after the…uh…let's just say…after the night before - and you don't see the problem?
Want me to draw you a picture?
You might not have to draw one. Her field kit should be around here somewhere, and if I remember correctly, she keeps her camera right at the top…
Stop. Please just stop...
Oh come on. Live a little. You, waking up with an actual, living, breathing human being, is a rarity in itself. The fact that it's Sara – now that truly is an occasion worth recording for posterity.
And all you have to do, is just sneak out of bed, get the camera, pull the sheet down a little…
This might well be the worst day of my life.
Huh?
It's true. The day when you find yourself contemplating the fact that Greg is probably more mature than you are, is never going to be a day to remember, is it.
Ok, ok, ok. Point taken. I shall be an adult and make every effort to keep my mind out of the gutter. It's just a little hard to concentrate on serious matters when she's all soft and sweet smelling and wrapped in your arms, you know?
Don't remind me. Just…don't.
Why?
This is all a bit sudden…I need…time to adjust.
Sudden! Sudden? You've spent nearly every minute of the last ten damn years thinking about this, and every single night dreaming about it, and now, when it's finally yours, you're having a mental breakdown.
Unbelievable.
I am not having a mental breakdown. I merely have a few doubts. No, not doubts, really. Um…a few…concerns, if you will.
Concerns my ass. You're freaking out. You're lying here, without a stitch of clothing on, next to the woman you've quietly obsessed over for a decade, and you're having a little freak out.
Well excuse me for breathing. I realise that you're the suave, glib, I-have-an-answer-for-everything-because-I-think-I'm-so-much-cleverer-than-everyone-else, one, but we have reason to be a little worried.
I'm going to regret this, but…why?
Well, as you so kindly pointed out a minute ago, me waking up next to a woman – not exactly an event that has occurred with any regularity over the last couple of years.
Couple of years…couple? Huh…
Yes, yes, alright. Maybe a little more than a couple…
Maybe? A little more? Than a couple?
Look, exact dates and times are of no consequence right now…
Yeah, you're right. Exact dates and times don't actually bear thinking about. Not even entirely sure you can still remember that far back. Who was in office then? Nixon? Kennedy?
Oh, ha ha ha. You kill me…
Oh shit.
What?
She's moving.
Uh…yeah. That's usually a good sign…
Not in this instance you idiot! She's waking up and I still don't have a damn clue what to do about this!
Nothing! For once in your miserable life, just leave well enough alone, and don't do anything! And for heaven's sake, don't say anything stupid. We all know that the moment you open your big gob around her, nothing but drivel tends to come out.
Crap – her eyes are opening. What do I do!
Nothing! Just…just…smile and ask her how she slept…this isn't brain surgery, you know.
Easy for you to say.
Oh shit. Shitty, shit, shit. She's…she's…!
What the hell are you doing now?
Pretending to be asleep.
Are you kidding me?
This is possibly the stupidest thing you've done in all your life.
Right now I could give a rat's ass.
A very well thought out, very mature solution.
Shut up.
What is she doing? Is she awake?
How the bleeding hell should I know? We're pretending to be asleep, remember?
Oh, right.
I think I've spotted the flaw in our master plan…
No shit Sherlock.
Ok – let's recap. We're in her bed, we have no clothes on, no obvious means of escape and I guess we can't pretend to be asleep forever. Plus - with our eyes shut, it's a little hard to see what she's doing.
Possibly not the smartest plan I've ever come up with.
You think?
Look – I don't need the caustic remarks right now. Let's just pool our resources and try and come up with another plan. A better one, if at all possible.
Well, anything would be an improvement on the last effort.
Bite me.
Gladly. Meanwhile, get your head out of your ass, open your eyes and just say good morning to her.
And then?
And then have a little faith, and trust that she'll be able to take it from there. I'm sure she's done this before, you know.
That's it? That's your plan?
That's my plan. Simple, effective, foolproof. So easy, that I'm willing to guarantee not even you will be able to screw it up.
You could actually be right about that. And let's face it, there aren't too many other options open to me at this particular juncture.
No, not really. So just grab the bull by the horns, so to speak…
Yeah. Yeah – why not. Here goes nothing...
Good plan...
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