A/N : Can people please stop using the review function in order to argue with each other? Thanks. Loving the genuine support for this story, which has been constant from the beginning. Just a couple more chapters left now, hope you continue to enjoy.
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 25

It was Friday afternoon, and The Chosen were having one final practice at The Bronze before they headed off to LA. Spike was thrilled by how good they sounded. He had a good feeling about this audition or, if he were honest, a good feeling about life in general right now. He had good mates, a decent job, most importantly the woman he adored, and the cherry on top of the cake was this audition that could launch his band into the stardom they would so love to have.

As the music built to a crescendo and ended with a bang, the assembled group of people - both the band and their loved ones - were grinning with delight. This was as good as they'd ever sounded, Lorne was going to be blown away.

"I can't wait to get to LA" Willow giggled across the room, as she gazed up at her man on the stage, "I just have a good feeling about all this"

"Yeah" Buffy said absently, barely raising a smile before dodging away towards her office. Willow shared a worried look with Cordy and Doyle before going after her friend.

"That's weird" Cordelia frowned, "I mean, hello, she's so in love with Spike is practically vomit-worthy, but since they got together she's been a little..."

"A little, what?" Doyle prompted, concerned by what he was hearing, "I haven't noticed anything"

"Doyle, honey, you're a guy" Cordy pointed out, as if he hadn't noticed, "Guys just don't see the same stuff that women do"

"So tell me, oh great womanly one" he said sarcastically, "What exactly are we, the lower beings, missing?"

Cordy shot Doyle a look that said his attitude did not amuse, before giving him an answer.

"You're missing the fact that Buffy hasn't been acting normal since she and Spike hooked up" she explained, "She'd been kinda distant, a little edgy, and it's weird cos you'd think that'd mean she'd be drinking more, but I don't think I've seen her... oh" she said with a sudden look of realisation dawning in her eyes as her gaze drifted from the door through which Buffy and Willow had just disappeared, and up on the stage where Spike laughed and joked with his friends and band-mates.

"That didn't sound like a happy 'oh'" Doyle said cautiously, "Should we all be panicking, princess?"

Cordy waited amount before turning back to look at her boyfriend with a smile painted on her face.

"No, no panic" she confirmed, "Honestly, it's probably just a woman thing, y'know?" she told him and Doyle nodded. It seemed to make sense, women and their hormones were often a mystery to him, and at least once a month they could be moody and weird for no apparent reason. That was probably all it was.

"I wish that was all it was" Buffy began to cry as she stood in her office with Willow at her side, handing her tissues from the box, "If that were the reason then... oh, Will, it'd be so much easier right now"

"Sweetie, you're scaring me a little now" Willow told her friend, "Please, just tell me what's wrong. Is it Spike?" she checked, "Is it not how you thought it'd be or..."

"No, it's not that" Buffy shook her head, "Although, it kind of is..." she realised she was lying if she said this had nothing to do with her relationship with Spike, after all that was the main factor in all of this. She sighed as she tried to order her thoughts in her head. Several days she'd been waiting for something she figured was unlikely to happen now, it'd been too long. She'd been to the drug-store, and stared at the shelf full of tests more than once, never actually being able to bring herself to buy one. It scared her half to death that she might be pregnant, and it scared her more that things would go wrong with Spike the moment she told him.

It wasn't like she knew for sure anyway that she was carrying his child, it could all be a false alarm. If it were true, she hadn't really had a whole bunch of opportunities to tell Spike about it. They were both busy with work, and him with the band and arrangements for LA and the audition tomorrow. Though they'd spent nights together, talking wasn't often on their minds, and no time seemed like the right time to mention something as huge as this could be.

"Buffy?" Willow prompted her to explain when she fell silent once again.

"I don't know how to tell him, Will" the blonde looked to her friend with tear-filled eyes, "He has all these dreams, how can I tell him... I think I'm pregnant" she admitted in a whisper and Willow's eyes went wide at those words.

"Oh my God" she said, looking stunned, "Are you sure?"

"No" Buffy shook her head, "It's not like a doctor told me, I mean, I've been too scared to even do a test myself but it's been almost seven weeks since my last period, I was sick a few mornings and..."

"All signs indicate, huh?" said Willow, as the blonde nodded her head, "And it's definitely Spike's baby? I mean, it couldn't be..."

"Angel's?" Buffy guessed what she was going to ask, "No, so couldn't be" she assured her, "We hadn't been together that way for weeks before we broke up. This must have happened that night, in here" she said, gesturing around herself at the office space they stood in, "It was so stupid" she said almost angrily to herself and Willow felt terrible for her friend who seemed so upset, yet she didn't really understand what all the anger and tears were about.

"You think Spike will be mad?" Willow asked, "Cos y'know he can't really blame you. It takes two to, well, do what you did" she said awkwardly, having always been a little shy when it came to talking about sex issues.

"It's not that" Buffy sighed, wiping tear from her cheeks with her hands, "Honestly, I have no idea how Spike would react to us having a kid, this is all making me realise I really don't know him that well at all"

"But he loves you, and you love him, right?" Willow checked as she perched on the end of the desk, looking down on Buffy who flopped into the chair next to it.

"That's about the only thing I'm sure of right now. The love" she admitted, "Everything else is... it's just all mixed up. He wants to be a rock star, Will, he has these dreams and this life all planned out. Maybe he could fit me into it, but a baby? I can't ask him to do that"

"You don't ask him, Buffy, you tell him" Willow said with such force she made the blonde physically jump, "I'm sorry, but I don't like you blaming yourself for this" she went on, "Both of you were responsible for getting you in this condition, and both of you have to take responsibility now"

"I know that, Will" Buffy sighed, "What you're saying makes sense, but it doesn't stop me from being afraid of losing him" she shook her head, "Spike means so much to me, more than any other guy I ever had in my life. It's taken us too long to get to this, to get to a place where we're both so happy together" she half-smiled as she thought of how truly elated she was to be with the man she loved as she was now, but her expression twisted to pain once again when she remembered what they were talking about, "It's all going to get ruined again when I tell Spike I might be pregnant. He'll either leave me which I so don't know how to deal with, or he'll give up his dream for me and end up hating me, which would be worse" she fought tears but they soon overwhelmed her and she cried once again. Willow moved to put her arms around her friend and tried to bring her some comfort.

"Maybe it'll all turn out okay" she said softly, "Cos y'know just cos The Chosen have an audition, it's not written in stone that Lorne will sign them. I know it's what they want and sure I'd be all happy for Oz and everybody if they got their dream but y'know it scares me too" she sighed, "If they get to be stars, will the love me and Oz have for each other be enough?"

"He adores you, Willow" Buffy told her friend, glad to have something else to talk about for a few moment, "Anybody can see that"

"Maybe" the red-head smiled shyly, "but nothing is definite or certain, not even your being pregnant. Y'know lots of things can make you late and sick. Maybe you have a stomach flu, or it's stress or something"

"Could be" Buffy agreed, though she wasn't entirely convinced.

"Right, that's us all set then" Spike grinned as he and Oz closed up the doors at the back of the van. Inside was all their instruments, amps, and equipment for their audition with Lorne in LA, and the whole band, plus their friends, were so excited. Buffy didn't look quite as happy as she might've but then that was put down to her being nervous on her boyfriends behalf by anyone who even noticed.

"Are you sure you two can handle the club?" Buffy checked with Cordy and Doyle who promised they'd be fine.

"Do you not remember how many committees I chaired in High School, Buffy" the ex-Prom Queen rolled her eyes, "I can organise with my eyes closed"

"And I was running this place almost singe-handed sometimes when Ripper owned the joint" Doyle chipped in, "We'll be fine, Buffy, I promise you. You save your energy for wishing Spikey here good luck" he winked.

"Cheeky git" his bleached blond friend smiled as he came over and put his arm around his woman, "Like we need luck! We're bloody good, that's what's gonna get us a record deal, not soddin' luck"

The group said goodbye and good luck, despite Spike's assurance that luck wasn't needed at all, exchanging hugs and handshakes as the band plus Willow and Buffy got ready to leave. Oz took Willow in the van, Spike drove his car with Buffy inside, and Xander rode on the back of his cousin's motorcycle with her, making Faith laugh with his girlish attitude about travelling in such a way.

By the time they reached the hotel they would be staying at, poor Xander climbed off the bike onto unsteady legs, amusing almost everybody, except Buffy, who it seemed still couldn't find a genuine smile for anyone.

"You sure you're alright, pet?" Spike checked, "You look pale"
"I'm fine" she lied, sharing a look with Willow, "I guess I just got over-excited about your audition and I'm a little tired and stuff" she shrugged, "It's no big"

Spike looked uncertain for a moment, as if he might be about to question her answer. Buffy just didn't seem right somehow, and she'd slept almost all the way to LA in the car, at least she'd seemed to. He had no idea she'd been faking it just so she could avoid talking to him.

Buffy couldn't lie to Spike, not really. It was bad enough trying to keep a secret from him as she was doing now, but to outright lie to his face would be almost impossible as she was finding out now by telling him she was fine when it reality she was not. Nerves about The Chosen's audition were true enough, however, since she'd made a deal with Willow to tell Spike the whole truth about her suspected pregnancy directly after said audition. Whether the outcome to the meeting with Lorne was good or bad, Buffy would drop the bomb-shell that she was in all likelihood having his child. It could be great, it could be a disaster, but she owed him the truth at least. Everybody deserved that.

To Be Continued...