Disclaimer: My possessions don't include Harry Potter, a convertible, or the legal rights to Star Wars. Have fun!
The Miscreants!
Chapter 2- Goldilocks and the Three Bears
That night found the young Transfiguration Professor frowning at a piece of paper. Albus Dumbledore was sitting at his desk decked out in his full pajama outfit. Pinstriped woolen socks covered his feet, while a bright green stocking cap covered his head, fluffy bunny slippers were in a pile near the desk, next to a bathrobe covered in rubber ducks. A steaming cup of hot chocolate sat next to the paper, stuffed to the top with marshmallows, however it was rapidly growing cold. Dumbledore glanced at the steam wafting in the air and sighed… thinking of candy was so difficult. Well, maybe it was only difficult because Albus had never been allowed to indulge in his sweet tooth before now. Sadly, Albus was very inexperienced in the world of candy.
Albus glanced around the room, spotting a frayed hat sitting on a worn stool. The same hat that Albus argued with when he was but a little first year, the same hat that had a mysterious quality about it that just seemed to demand attention. The longer Albus stared at the hat, the more he felt a desire to try it on. Looking carefully around the room, to make sure no one was watching, Albus crept out of his chair and towards the hat. It was no surprise to find the hat atop his head several seconds later.
Ah… Mr. Dumbledore, a pleasure to pick your brain yet again. I see that you are suffering from some great unanswered question… May I ask what ails you?
Albus quickly thought of explaining his candy problem to a hat and decided that it was a bit too strange, even for him.
"Uh… Nothing really, well nothing important. I was just drawn to you for some reason tonight. I can't really explain it."
You have been called! The hat exclaimed excitedly. I must remember to inform Armando of this splendid news! It's truly exciting.
"Called for what?"
Nothing. The hat said quickly, all earlier excitement gone. But I see you have been pondering the newest editions to the Ravenclaw house. The hat sounded like it was trying to change the subject. It was pretty obvious, but Albus was curious about the new Ravenclaws as well.
"Yes, I was. I found it rather odd as all four girls took an incredible amount of time to be sorted."
Well those four were a rather feisty bunch. They weren't too pleased with some of my earlier decisions. Why that Minerva Cahill! She went practically Slytherin on me as she tried to get into Ravenclaw. But she was destined for Ravenclaw in the end. Yes… Fate planned that little thing out.
"Fate? What would fate want with four little girls?"
That's classified information. But I will give you a bit of advice. Fate plans everything for a reason. The reason might not become apparent for quite some time, but it is there nonetheless. They should be interesting to watch.
"Interesting how?" Dumbledore's teaching side stepped though.
Oh nothing. Not interesting, definitely not interesting. The hat said hastily. Albus thought the hat sounded suspiciously like a liar, but he couldn't say for sure. You might want to watch those Gryffindor boys though. They are more than capable of mischief. The Slytherins this year aren't a particularly nasty bunch, slyer than anything. They won't start many fights, but don't underestimate them. They will be sneaky with their revenge, but they aren't as bigoted as the usual bunch of purebloods are. There is an unusually large number of Hufflepuffs this year, very sweet kids though. You should put them with the Slytherins… it'll even them out. There might be an oncoming feud between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor, but nothing you can't handle. And whatever you do, remember that an idle mind is trouble waiting to happen.
"The students won't be happy with you if they hear you are responsible for more homework." Albus said. He managed not to roll his eyes as he thought of a pair of red-heads he had once known. They were the worst troublemakers you'd ever meet. But after getting to know them, it was plain to see that they possessed an absolutely brilliant mind, although they were a bit lazy and prone to boredom. They didn't put their brain power to much use besides thinking up new pranks. It was no surprise that the two had opened a joke shop after finishing school. The two were more commonly known as Gambol and Japes.
Now usually, I don't tell anybody but the headmaster about the new first years, but you seem like a nice fellow. I still remember sorting you. You had a most interesting mind to poke around in… you still do in fact. But I would definitely advise you to take blood-pops off of your list of candy to try. They were around when I was alive, and I bet they haven't changed the recipe. They were nasty then and I'd bet they'd be nasty now. Unless you are a vampire… but I don't see you doing the whole bloody fang bit, so the blood pops are safe.
"I still have to try them. I have to try everything. What if I find out that I really like them? How else will I get a proper sampling of the candy out there? I could be missing out on some really good candy."
You could trust other people's advice? The hat suggested.
"You are a hat! Not a person! And you would do well to remember that!" Albus sniffed disdainfully.
Well at least I don't act like an immature three year old. The hat said as Albus sent him a rather vivid image of sticking out his tongue. The grunted before bursting out in shock. You don't really mean to try Cockroach Clusters do you!
"Why else would they be on my list? Albus said, oblivious to the fact that Cockroach Clusters, do in fact, contain live Cockroaches. That would be a nasty surprise later. If the sorting hat had a head, then he would have shaken it in disgust. As such, he did not, and had to settle for a loud cough that sounded suspiciously like 'lunatic'. Not that Albus was pointing any fingers. One man's lunatic was another man's genius. He just hadn't found anyone to call him a genius yet, hero yes, but genius, not yet. Maybe it was time to take ol' Saint Nick up on his offer.
Yes… Do that and forget about the Cockroaches. Nicolas is a good enough guy. We had some very interesting chats when he was younger. But I haven't talked to him in years. Tell him Pinks says hi. He'll understand. Oh… one more thing, Al, may I call you Al? Make sure to try out some of Honeyduke's Chocolate. They do have the best around, except for the Cockroach Cluster bit. But now I must insist that you take me off for my long awaited nap. You don't know how tiring it is to sort though eleven-year-old minds.
Albus yawned himself into a sleepy trance as he removed the already snoring hat from his head and wandered off to bed. The list could wait until tomorrow. As the young professor nodded off to sleep, a few floors up in a certain Ravenclaw tower, a light in one window still shown brightly in the night. Inside, four girls were slyly plotting Revenge.
"Well it has to be embarrassing." Ev supplied nastily.
"Oh yes." Min grinned in agreement.
"Embarrassing? Oh come on ladies! Where is your sense of compassion? All he did was flick food at Joce. Its not like he did something utterly scandalous, like turn her hair pink." Addi chided the girls while Joce faked vomiting at the word pink. Addi was always one for Hamarabbi's Code. The whole 'Eye for an Eye, Tooth for a Tooth thing.'
"You, more than anyone, should know that I have no sense of compassion as far as Andy Potter is concerned. Besides, he's probably plotting my demise at this very moment. If we don't retaliate now, we may never get the chance." Jocelyn explained to the group as Addi rolled her eyes.
"Plotting your demise? Come on Joce, no eleven year old boy knows how to plot." Addi said, trying to make Joce see reason.
"Adelaide, Potter and myself hate each other. People who hate each other are enemies. And enemies plot each other's demise and then they retaliate. It's a proven cycle, it's lasted for near about forever, who am I to go against the scared cycle of Enemies?" Joce said.
"So do we get just for Andy, or all four?" Joce, Min and Ev gaped at Addi who had just suggested getting all four boys in one blow. Addi shrugged at her friends.
"Well if you can't beat them, you may as well join them." She grinned at her friends as they collapsed into a fit of giggles.
"So…I'm really into this blue hair thing. What do you guys think?" Joce said as the giggles subsided.
"Jocelyn, honey, colored hair is way overdone. Do you really want to be accused of unoriginality?" Ev said.
"Plus, blue hair would be obvious. I mean, blue is one of our house colors, and who else besides us in Ravenclaw would want to die Potter's hair blue?" Addi said.
"Wait!" Everybody turned to look at Min, who had just spoken. "Are we going to get in trouble for this?" Ev and Joce stared at her blankly.
"Well duh. That's half the fun! Maybe we can break the detention record?" Joce said, her eyes shining.
"Detention?" Addi asked in a small voice while Ev nodded in agreement with Joce.
"My parents will kill me if I get detention." Addi said, sinking onto the bed.
"It won't be so bad." Ev said.
"That's not what I heard." Min said, terror in her eyes. "Sandy Tinen told me that they hang you from your ankles with chains in the dungeons until you faint!" Joce rolled her eyes.
"Sandy Tinen is a gossip, and a liar at that. This is a school! They can't hang kids in the dungeon! Besides, do you really think that I'd be so careless as to get caught?" Joce asked min with puppy dog eyes.
"Well no…But-" Min said as Evelyn interrupted her.
"But Joce! Isn't half the funs letting everyone know you did it?" Ev asked.
"Yeah." Joce said glumly looking dejected.
"Wait!" Addi said from the corner. "WE could have a code name or an alias or whatever you call it. Then we could leave our name, but no one could prove it was really us. So we couldn't get into any trouble. It'd be the practical joke of a lifetime? All three girls squealed in agreement.
"But what do we call ourselves?" All three girls frowned.
"Umm… JAME?" Joce asked.
"Why JAME? It sounds funny." Ev asked.
"Duh! It's our initials!" Joce explained, Min rolled her eyes.
"It sounds too much like James for one, and two, its way to obvious. Who wouldn't figure that one out?" Min said logically.
"Well I thought it was good." Joce mumbled under her breath. "And I am so totally naming my kid James."
"What about the Fantastic Four?" Addi suggested.
"Too Mugglish. It sounds like something the Muggles would call some superhero." Ev said.
"Not that you don't have a major crush on Superman yourself, Ev." Ev blushed bright red at Min's teasing.
"Well he is cute." She said.
"Oh come on. The guy's allergic to a green rock. Could you get any lamer?" Joce asked.
"Yes." Addi giggled. "Sneezleby Suthers." Joce and Addi burst out into laughter as Min and Ev watched in confusion.
"Who's Sneesleby Suthers?" Min asked as the laughing died down, only to have it come back in full force. Addi finally took pity on the two and explained the story.
"Well my sister Mercedes is a 5th year. She's in Gryffindor, yah know. But there is this really geeky boy in Hufflepuff in her year. So one day, she took pity on him, and partnered up with him in Herbology. It was only after she did this that she learned that Sneezleby has secretly been harboring a major love for her. So he basically started stalking her. He wrote her love letters, he tried to slip some love potion into her pumpkin juice, and he even paid a galleon for some hair from her hairbrush. Mercedes was burning the letters he sent this summer, and she let us read them. Boy, they had the cheesiest lines you've ever heard. The poor guy. Mer vowed never to talk to him again. She almost switched schools this year cuz of him… Well she wanted to, but Fate, a.k.a. my parents, stepped in." Joce and Ev both started laughing again at the conclusion of her story, Min, however, looked throughtful.
"What's up Min? Thinking about Sneezleby Suthers?" Joce asked giving Min a sly wink.
"Just thinking about something the sorting hat said. Did you find him odd at all? But first, what do toy guys think of the Miscreants as our name?" The other three girls' eyes widened.
"It's perfect!" Ev squealed, and Joce and Addi nodded in agreement.
"It needs a subtitle." Joce said.
"A subtitle?" Ev raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah! Everybody has one. We don't even have to use it. It's more just the fact that we have it, if you know what I mean. It'll make us ten times cooler." Joce explained.
"Oh." Ev said politely.
"What about 'Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief Makers of Past, Present, and Future?" Min suggested again.
"It's perfect!" Joce said in excitement.
"It'll do." Ev said dully.
"How are we going to aid Magical Mischief Makers of the Past?" Addi asked, frowning in concentration.
"Don't sweat it Adds, we'll figure it out." Joce said.
"Where did you come up with those anyways Min?" Ev sounded curious.
"The Sorting Hat. Did you think he was a little bit strange?"
"Oh yes, but not nearly as strange as…" Joce started and not minutes late, the four were in stitches yet again. It looked like they would be laughing the night away.
The next morning….
"Jocelyn, honey, dearie, sweetie, can we please go eat and save your diabolical revenge for lunch?" Ev asked, holding back a yawn. It was breakfast and Joce had called a stakeout for revenge of her arch rival and hated enemy, also known as Andrew Potter, a part of the dreaded Gryffindor Four as Addi had so aptly named them. They had been the first to leave the Ravenclaw Tower, and that was an hour ago, Min, Addi and Ev's enthusiasm had long ago been replaced with growling stomachs and hearty yawns. Joce looked to be the only one fully interested and fully awake.
"Yeah! We could eat and comeback?" Addi tried not to look excited, but failed miserably.
"Besides! I am starving." Min added. Joce glared at her three hopeful friends and their faces fell instantly.
"I'll take that as a no then." Min sniffed disdainfully.
"Minerva! We can't just abandon out post! We mustn't let those scumbags get the better of us. We are the Miscreants of Hogwarts! We will fight for Freedom, Truth, Justice and a Good Prank anywhere. That is our vow!" Jocelyn got a little carried away in her zeal, and as the others were trying hard not to laugh, all four missed the arrival of a certain professor.
"Hello Ladies. Having a nice morning?" The four girls jumped.
"P..P..Professor Dumbledore, sir!" Addi exclaimed fearfully.
"We weren't doing anything against the rules! I swear!" Min also looked bugged out.
"I was just about to comment on how lovely it is to see four young girls such as yourselves having a nice heart to heart." The blonde teacher explained.
"Oh." Min and Addi said together, feeling strangely stupid.
"In a broom cupboard?" Ev raised a speculative eyebrow.
"Why yes Miss. Prewitt. This one is rather cozy don't you think?"
"Um… sure sir. Nice and… uh… roomy!"
"Well I'd best be getting to breakfast." The professor turned to leave. "Oh and Miss Cahill?" Joce turned from where she had been stashing the diabolical revenge.
"Yes, sir?"
"You might need to aim a little bit to the left." Joce and the others were left gaping as he walked away. Ev was the first to recover.
"Golly! That was neat!"
"At least we didn't get busted." Min said.
"Maybe he was talking about something else?" Addi suggested.
"How did he bloody know we were here?" Joce asked out loud.
"JOCELYN ELSPETH VICTORIA MADELIN CAHILL! What has your mother told you about cussing?" Addi railed on her friend, who didn't even look up.
"And what have I told you about shouting in the middle of Diabolical Revenge?"
Min and Evelyn hid their giggles as Addi seemed to ponder the thought. A look of comprehension suddenly dawned on her face.
"Oh right! Rule 457." She said suddenly, Joce nodded in satisfaction and went back to what she was doing.
"Huh?" Min looked confused, and Addi once again took the liberty of explaining.
"Well Min, you see, Joce discovered quite early on that I am pretty incapable of the diabolical revenge bit-"
"It's very true." Joce interrupted as she carefully aimed the diabolical revenge just a little bit to the left. Addi shot her a glare, but Joce just shrugged her shoulder.
"Well as I was saying! The whole prank thing really isn't my bag. So I accidentally got us caught. So Joce's mum, who had grown tired of punishing us by this point, gave us a rather unique punishment. Instead of making us apologize to everyone on Wizengamot like she usually does; however, that's usually a disaster anyways. Mrs. Cahill sent us to the library to write down every rule we could think of. Unfortunately, Mrs. Cahill didn't specify what type of rules, so Joce wrote a book of 2,013 Rules to Rule Breaking with added diagrams and ideas for clarification. The look on Mrs. Cahill's face was priceless! Joce's dad told us that she laughed for hours afterward, but we weren't supposed to know that. We were also told that the book was burned, but we had my sister Harley make a copy for us. Plus we found it on the 5th floor broom closet while we were searching for Christmas Presents last year." Addi explained to Min and Ev who were laughing their lungs out. Joce threw them both a glare that just made them laugh harder. It didn't take too long for all four girls to be laughing. However, Joce looked up just in time to see four boys in Gryffindor robes saunter down the stairs. An evil smile settled on her face.
"It's go time." She whispered and the diabolical revenge was set into motion.
Looking back, the Miscreants really set off their career with a bang. But that just the beginning. Jocelyn called a humble start, and Ev was inclined to agree. Adelaide was sort of indifferent, and Minerva was just worried that the Transfiguration Professor had caught on already. Alas, Joce, Ev and Min were all wrong. The beginning really wasn't humble and the Transfiguration Professor had other thing on his mind. He was contemplating if acid pops could truly burn a hole through your tongue. That was why he didn't really notice when four Gryffindor boys came into the great hall sporting identical looks of confusion as to why they were suddenly dressed up as Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Nor did Albus Dumbledore notice the four Ravenclaws armed with a camera and film, lots and lots of film.
"Potter!" Joce exclaimed joyfully as she walked into the sniggering Great Hall. "Who knew that you'd make such a lovely girl?" She pinched on of his cheeks as Min snapped a picture.
"I'm sure Aunty Hannah would just love to capture this moment in the Potter Family Scrap Book!" Min smiled evilly at her panicking cousin.
"Oh, but Min darling," Ev smiled at her brother. "You must get a group shot. Merlin knows that my mum could do with a good laugh."
"Say Cheese." Addi said gleefully as Min snapped the camera again. Another satisfying click of the camera later and Min and Ev had their blackmail and Jocelyn had vengeance.
"You'll pay for this Cahill!" Andrew Potter seethed underneath his breath.
"Oh… Now Andy, you don't really want to go blaming Joce for something that you can't even prove now would you?" Addi smiled sweetly at him before the four girls turned to walk away. When they had reached the first table, Addi turned back to yell at the boys.
"Oh, and Andrew!" The boy-turned-Goldilocks perked up his head to listen. "Pink really isn't your color!" Andrew Potter and Co. glared at the retreating backs of the four giggling girls.
"This means war." Andy seethed to the three bears, known mainly as Noah, Jonas, and Ode.
"Chill out Andy. Joce is like a professional at this sorta thing. Your chances of beating her are 5,362:1." Ode McGonagall lobbied the angry boy.
"Never tell me the odds." Andy muttered. Jonas motioned Noah and Ode in closer.
"Andy has a nasty little habit of never backing away from a challenge, but he especially doesn't like challenges orchestrated by Jocelyn Cahill." Jonas explained.
"It's probably cuz she's a girl and his pride is at stake." Ode guessed.
"Or maybe he's secretly in love with her?" Noah suggested, and Jonas gave him a wink.
"Yeah… but it's probably due to Andy's hormonal intake. Switching sexes can't be good for his testosterone level." Jonas said, rather uncommitted. Andy turned and glared at the three bears, all of whom were laughing rather outrageously.
"Oh sure! Laugh it up Fuzzball! At least I'm not a primitive species!" Andy shot back, also dissolving into laughter.
"Wait! I thought girls were a primitive species!" Ode said with a grin, noting Andy's current state.
"Burn!" Noah said, giving Ode a high-five. Andy pondered the sentence before sticking out his hand.
"I can't contest the truth of that statement… Truce?" He grinned as they shook hands, and went to breakfast, plotting their revenge.
Author's Note: I hope yah enjoyed it. Kudos to anybody who can pick out my two Star Wars quotes and who said them and in what movie! Happy Reading.
-Sarak