Disclaimer: I don't own this stuff...onto the next chapter.

Chapter Four

A New Slytherin

The sorting hat appeared at first to be at a bit of a loss. "Vapid, eh? And thick as a brick. Where to put this one? Hmmm, has a dark turn of mind... Slytherin!"

"I can't believe we got stuck with Potter's cousin," Draco lamented.

"I don't know, Draco," said Goyle, "but maybe if he's been put in Slytherin, he's not like Potter at all."

"Yeah, and didn't Potter hate his muggle family?" Crabbe chimed in.

"Good point. I'll have to check things out for myself," mused Malfoy.

Within days, Dudley was fitting in well with Draco's homeboys. His vast knowledge of Harry's foibles and disdain for any kind word about his cousin put him in good stead with Draco. His lack of intellectual prowess and easy willingness to follow their evil leader made Crabbe and Goyle almost fond of him. McGonagall and the other Hogwarts professors (excepting Snape, of course) were less impressed.

McGonagall started the conversation diplomatically. "I'm afraid, Dudley, that we will have to be a bit creative about your magical training. You were already at a disadvantage coming into your powers so late. Your peers are already past their OWL's; you're from a distinctly muggle environment, and you haven't had any of the exposure to things magical that many of our first years have had. Unfortunately, your minimal innate ability and less-than-scholarly attitude compound the problem. Your professors and I have decided to begin a Special Magical Education Program, or SMEP, just for you. You will be working with each professor one-on-one until you have mastered the most basic concepts and applications of magic. When you are able to join regular classes- at any level- we will allow you to blend in. In the meantime, Professor Snape will be your guidance counselor and we've assigned Hermione Granger to be your peer mentor. Can you handle that?"

"Well, sure professor- she's hot."

"Dudley, her level of 'hotness' will have nothing to do with it. I'd advise you to keep your mind on your studies."

"Yes, ma'am."

"And until we find out what happened to your cousin Harry, also be advised that we will be keeping a close eye on you, Dudley."

"Like I've already told you and the other professors, Professor McGonagall, I don't know what happened to him! Really! We went out for my birthday, and he was just, just gone."

"Don't you think it's just a little suspicious, Dudley, that you come into your powers the same day Harry goes missing? Surely even you can grasp the 'coincidental' timing of those two occurrences, my boy."

"I know, but you have to understand that we, I mean "I", wouldn't do anything to harm him, professor. I couldn't stand Harry, that's a fact. But Harry couldn't stand me either. We lived together for almost eighteen years and managed not to kill each other before!"

"Yes, Mr. Dursley, but YOU didn't have magical powers before."