AN: yep, so here's the third chapter! Thanks for the reviews! Keep them coming people! I need support if I'm going to keep writing this story! This is probably like, one of the best fics I've written, and longest too. Soo… yeah, support me here!

Detentions

Written by Jami Ruggeri

August 4th, 2006: my birthday!

Chapter Three: Loneliness and Guilt

Draco was laying in his Head Boy room, relishing the feeling of his soft, silky, green bed sheets, a million thoughts going through his shiny blonde head. He never thought, ever, that he would feel attracted to that know-it-all prissy Mudblood. But just a few hours ago, he had been in very close proximity to her. He got to smell her wild pumpkin and honey scented hair, and got to touch it and stroke it. He had looked into her deep chocolaty-fiery eyes and he got to watch her as she smoked a fag, looking absolutely deadly and dangerous, something that Granger was usually not. He had watched her give him a small show, showing off her killer green knickers, flirting with him shamelessly, yet subtly.

He tossed over on his side. No, he could never actually like the Mudblood. No, never. That was preposterous. It was sheer taboo, at least in his case. He was brought up to hate Mudbloods, and it would be a great shame to fancy one such as her. And yet, even though he couldn't like her, he was still lusting after her. Those were two different things, right? Right. He was sure. She was attractive. Very attractive, he gave her that. But she was bossy, and prude, and a know-it-all priss. Not to mention a downright bitch. But he had to admit, when she was standing before him, her saucer-shaped deep brown orbs glowing up at him with innocence, he had wanted to back her up against that bookshelf and kiss her fiercely. He had wanted to feel her breasts and part her legs and stroke her until she came in his arms. Yes, he wanted her. He wanted her badly.

But the question was: Could he have her?

Hermione groaned. She had been trying to fall asleep for what seemed like ages. She tossed her silky red sheets off of her at one point because of the humidity, only to have them back over her in minutes because she was too cold. She had tried stuffing her face inside her pillow, but she couldn't manage to breathe while doing so. She had tried having one foot out of the covers, or laying on her side, but nothing seemed to work, damnit, and she knew why.

He was crowding her thoughts. Why? Not even Merlin knew. All she could think of was how he had studied her so intensely. His eyes had swept over her body so serenely, so hungrily. She had almost rubbed her thighs together to ease her ache, but she had first and foremost wanted to vanish any thoughts of Draco Malfoy from her mind. He was a smug, loathsome, pureblooded prat, and she just wasn't able to take the thought of him rubbing up against her by any means. She had almost wished he had after she saw his hungry eyes sweep over her neck and chest. She had wanted to kiss him.

Hermione shook her head. No. No, no, no. She would not have it. She would not let Draco Malfoy, prick of all pricks, seduce her. She would not give in to temptation. No matter what, she had to avoid his hungry eyes. She was Hermione Granger. To her, nothing was impossible. She could definitely resist him. Definitely. Totally. Right.

Right?

"Oi, Hermione. You alright?"

Hermione peered up at Ron while he was munching on his biscuit. Lunch was his favorite meal. "Uh, yes. I'm fine."

"Oh, yeah. How was your detention with Malfoy?" He asked her. Him and Harry watched her for an answer. She swallowed her bit of bacon and took a sip of her tea. She was deciding whether to tell them that it went smoothly or horribly. Which, in the real situation, it was both.

"Not bad. Malfoy didn't really do much, but at least we got along alright. We didn't really talk much, anyway…" She took a bite of her toast.

"You didn't hex him?" Ron asked, a look of confusion on his face. She shook her head. "Why not? After what he did to you, I was sure you would…"

"Well, I'm more or less over it now. All that matters to me right now is getting through these next two detentions alive and well."

And with that, Harry and Ron let the subject of the detentions go, and began talking heatedly about their last Quidditch game before the holidays, which was, ironically, Gryffindor vs. Slytherin. As Hermione sipped her tea, she felt eyes leering at her. Quietly and slowly, she looked up and checked the Great Hall for anybody staring at her. She gasped when she saw it was Malfoy, his hungry eyes sending her blood rippling through her body with electricity. And, just as quickly as she had locked eyes with him, he looked away, laughing at something Pansy Parkinson had said. Clearing her throat, she finished her tea, took a quick bite of what was left of her toast, said her goodbyes to the boys, and left the Great Hall as quickly as possible, heading up to her room.

Malfoy watched her leave, her body swiftly moving, her hips gently swaying, her hair whizzing behind her in great tufts. He snorted and then turned back to Pansy. She was blabbering about who knows what, but she fluttered her eyelashes at him lustily, and he let the image of Hermione drift slowly through his mind, imagining she was the one batting her eyelashes so dreamily at him.

"Isn't that right, Drakie?" She asked him, rubbing her arm against him flirtatiously.

He nodded and said, "Of course, Pansy." She gave a squeal of approval, and then began listening to something Blaise Zabini was saying, completely forgetting about the popular, Legendary Slytherin Ladies Man, Draco Malfoy. He frowned, a little bit upset about the attention someone else was getting, when he, Malfoy was there instead, sitting right next to her.

It's not like he was in love with Pansy Parkinson. He was actually far from it. Sure, they had their occasional shags, but she wasn't that special to him. The only reason he kept her around was because they had lost their virginities together during fifth year. For some odd reason, he couldn't let go of the fact that he shared that part of himself with her first, out of anybody else. He was most comfortable with her, as was she with him, so they had some weird, crazy bond that would always be there.

But other than that little bit of information he couldn't really care less about the girl. He felt a twinge of guilt about it whenever she would coo and look up at him so lovingly, but decided it was best to ignore it. He knew that she was in love with him, but he didn't feel for her in that way.

He peered over at the Gryffindor table once again, disgusted with the scene that was displayed in front of the entire school. Lavender Brown had taken the place where Hermione had been sitting just a few minutes ago and was all over the Weasel, stroking his hair and blowing kisses at him. Hadn't they already had a thing? 'I thought that relationship ended last year after Granger got involved… at least, that's what I heard.' If Hermione had known what was going on after she left Weasley on his own she would probably be furious and humiliated.

And, just like Pansy was in love with him, Draco realized that Hermione was in love with Ron, and he felt even guiltier even though he wasn't involved. He erased the guilt from his mind mere seconds after he felt it, frustrated with himself for even feeling pity for a Mudblood.

During Transfiguration that afternoon Draco stared at Hermione, wondering how on earth he was going to seduce her. She most likely wouldn't be at all willing. She would need convincing. Really, really good convincing. He began thinking. And then decided that tonight during their detention he would bring up the Weasel to try and strike a nerve somewhere in her. Then maybe if she felt sorry for herself enough, she would come crawling into his arms. It was most improbable, but he was willing to try it.

Before dinner that evening, Hermione sat in the Common Room, studying for her Charms exam the next day. Harry came in through the portrait hole and stood beside her desk. "Do you know where Ron is? I haven't seen him since Herbology ended."

"Hmm… me neither. Maybe he forgot something somewhere." She gave him a shrug and looked back over her notes. Harry sat on the edge of the desk, crumpling some of her papers. She rolled her eyes at his ignorance.

"Or maybe he's with-" But Harry stopped what he was saying and looked guiltily at the floor. Hermione momentarily forgot her crumpled notes, her curiosity piqued.

"With who, Harry?"

"Never mind, I shouldn't have said anything. You'll just get upset." He told her, getting off the table and turning to go up to the boys' dormitories. She grabbed his arm to stop him from leaving.

"I'll be even more upset if you don't tell me. Who is Ron with?"

But her question didn't have to be answered with words because at that exact moment Ron and Lavender stumbled in through the portrait hole, hand in hand. Hermione's face fell, her mouth agape, her heart pounding fast. Her stomach ached and her knees almost gave way. 'Ron and Lavender are back together…'

Ron peered up and saw Hermione's expression and quickly let go of Lavender's hand, his ears turning a dark shade of red as well as his cheeks and nose. They quickly walked past Harry and Hermione to the wall in between the girls' dormitories and the boys' dormitories. Lavender leaned up and kissed him on his lips for a moment or two before saying goodbye and heading up to the dormitory.

Hermione turned to look at the opposite wall, neither facing Ron nor Harry. Tears began welding up in her eyes but she refused to let them fall. She would not cry about this in front of them.

"Hermione…" Ron started.

"Don't." She said almost inaudibly. "There's no need to explain when I just saw everything with my own two eyes. You and Lavender are back together. Big deal. Who cares?" She shuddered and her hands clenched into fists and her teeth ground together.

"Actually, 'Mione, you see, her and I aren't back together. We're just…" Ron shuffled his feet. But Hermione didn't need to hear the rest. She snapped her body to face him, a look of disgust played in her brown eyes.

"You two are shagging?" She asked, her voice cracking under the pressure. He nodded grimly. She breathed in deeply and walked up to him, her eyes barely able to keep the tears from sliding down her face. "Why would you go to Lavender…" She paused but kept her gaze locked with his, wanting him to feel the ache just as much as her. "…When you could have come to me?" Harry's mouth opened in shock and Ron's ears grew the deepest shade of scarlet ever known to man, and he peered down guiltily at her.

"I would have, Hermione! Honestly! But I thought that you were…" He trailed off. Hermione blinked twice then closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath.

"Prude?" He nodded. Harry looked disbelievingly from one to the other. "I am, but I would have been willing if you had actually came to me. But obviously you would rather get it from someone so easy as Lavender. Where's the fun in that?"

Ron went to grab her shoulder but she snapped away from him. "And don't you dare think that since we've confessed and talked about it that I would actually go to you now! Ronald Weasley, you disgust me!" And she ran from the common room to her Head Girl room.

She collapsed onto the silky read satin of her Gryffindor bedding and cried her eyes out. She began punching the pillows, imagining that it was Ron's face she was injuring. She wailed and sniffled and wept and sobbed but nothing seemed to make the situation feel any better. When nothing seemed to ease her pain or her pride, she sat up, pondering her next actions for a moment, and then got up from her bed, walking to her vanity. She opened a small drawer filled with pencils, a hairbrush, a pencil sharpener, scattered lip-glosses and powders, and a pair of scissors. She picked up the scissors, relishing in the feel of the sharp edge on her fingers as she spread them over the blade.

She had never done this before, but nothing seemed to work. She felt unloved, unwanted, and most of all, lonely as hell. She had no one. She lined the blade up to the flesh on her wrist and slid it rather hard over the limb slowly. She closed her eyes and lolled her head back as she felt the prickling sensation of fresh blood seep out through the new wound. And she did it again in a different spot. And again, and again, and again.

Her wrist was now filled with long, bloody cuts and she didn't know whether to be proud or ashamed of it, but she felt satisfied enough and put the scissors back into the drawer and laid back down onto her bed, falling asleep shortly after.

At dinner, Harry and Ron weren't surprised when Hermione never showed up. Malfoy however, wasn't pleased. He peered almost longingly over at the table, up and down, searching for the brown-haired Golden Girl, but she was nowhere to be seen. He grunted in disapproval and continued eating his dinner while Pansy giggled at something Blaise has said.

Hermione's eyes flew open and the first thing she saw was the automatic clock her parent's had given her as one of her presents for getting the position of Head Girl. It read 7:10.

"Bloody hell!" She flew out of bed, slipped her shoes back on and left the Head Girl's dormitory, forgetting her cloak.

"Sorry I'm late!" Hermione flew into Snape's Classroom, greeted by his scowl and Draco's amused expression. "I fell asleep in my room."

"That's wonderful, Granger, but I'm going to have to take ten points from Gryffindor, for not being punctual." Hermione nodded and Snape gave them directions that they were to take inventory on all of Snape's ingredients and the ones that were not up to par with the right amounts they were to go and fetch from the Herbology classroom the next night. After he handed Hermione the clipboard with the extremely long list of ingredients, he left, leaving the two students alone once again.

"Are you going to help me this time, Malfoy?" Hermione asked with a sneer. He gave her a lazy smile and stood next to her, nodding.

"Nothing else to do. Might as well get it finished so we can have a fag later on." He peered over her shoulder at the clipboard, reading some of the ingredients. "Bloody hell, there are a lot."

Hermione felt a sort of itching prickly feeling on her wrist and looked down. 'Damn, I totally forgot, and now I don't have my cloak! That means Malfoy might see, and then I'll be humiliated.' She quickly let her arm fall to her side, trying her best to hide the fresh cuts from Malfoy and walked over to the cabinets she had been dusting the previous night. "We'll start by looking in here."

Right away she began counting and marking things on the list. A few minutes went by, Malfoy double-checking her counting. After a long while of silence between the both of them besides the continual counting and mutterings of numbers Malfoy began striking up conversation.

"So, Granger, how far have you gone?"

She blushed and immediately wanted to smack him, but thought against the idea since fighting and hitting was one of the reasons they were together like this in the first place. "That's none of your business." She grumbled.

"I've gone all the way, and not just once. Loads of times."

"Lovely, and I bet you've done every girl here except for me." She began counting the sets of honeysuckle in front of her.

He laughed. "Nice one, Granger, but even though I'm very popular with the ladies, I've only managed to actually shag four." She looked disgustedly at him, although curious, and he smirked. She gave him a look that asked him who they were and he continued. "Pansy Parkinson was my first, during fifth year. She and I still shag once in awhile, and… you're not going to believe this one, but Cho Chang."

"Are you serious?" she asked, a little disgruntled about the sweet, shy, pretty Ravenclaw girl actually shagging somebody, especially Malfoy. "How in Merlin's name did that happen?"

"Well, it was last year. I found her crying in one of the corridors on my prefect shift, and she told me how sad she was about Cedric and how she thought that Harry hated her and she was just a mess. So, she clung to me, crying in my shoulder, and it just sort of… happened. Surprised me, even. She wasn't even a virgin. Cedric probably did the deed before he died."

"Hmm… very interesting." She marked down another number on the list for Wasped Radishes. "Who were the other two, then?"

"You wouldn't know them. They were foreign girls. I met one in Japan and the other in France when Father, Mother and I went on vacation on a trip around the world."

"I would love to go on a trip around the world." She sighed dreamily, counted another herb, and marked it down. "You seem to like those Asians."

"What's not to like? As long as they're witches." He smirked and recounted the herb she had just marked down. "No, it's not sixteen, it's seventeen." Hermione shrugged and remarked it on her clipboard. "Which brings me back to you."

"I'm not telling you about my love life."

"Probably because it's non-existent." He sneered.

She bottled up the rage from that comment. She did too have a love life. It surely wasn't as interesting as his was, but it was still there, damnit. "I will assure you that it in fact does exist. I'll have you know that in fourth year Viktor Krum and I snuck off and snogged in a random corridor and that's not where it ends."

"Oh, really?" Draco smirked. "What else did you and Viktor do in that random corridor? Surely you two didn't do the nasty?"

"Of course not! But he did… err…" She blushed, trying her best to make it look like she was counting another one of the ingredients.

"What, love? Finger you?" He asked her shamelessly.

"There will be no more talk of this! It's inappropriate."

"Who cares, Granger? No ones here except us." They were silent for a few moments. "So he did, did he?"

"Erm… yeah." She turned away so he couldn't see her face, which was completely red with embarrassment.

"Ooh, so the pure, Gryffindor Golden Girl really isn't that pure at all?"

"Sod off, you prat."

"Hmm… was he your only partner in crime?" Here was his plan to strike a deep nerve in her. "I would expect that the Weasel would have gotten some action from you over the years as well."

Hermione stiffened, then turned quickly to face him, dropping the clipboard on the floor. "Do not talk to me about that bloody prick! He disgusts me more than you disgust me!"

Malfoy was taken aback. He had no idea her reaction would result in yelling. He wasn't quite sure if this was for better or for worse. "Did something happen? If I do so remember you two were quite comfortable together at lunch." Hermione groaned and tears began to leak from her eyes again, but this remained unnoticed to her.

"He… he's shagging that slut, Lavender! I can't believe it! I thought they were over!" She roared, and she wiped her face wither he hands, now very well aware of the tears soaking her face. Draco felt that twinge of guilt again as he watched her cry, almost helpless. He had no idea that the Weasel had actually been shagging the girl. She must have found this out before dinner, and that was the reason she hadn't been there. "I hate him!"

"Hate is such a strong word, Granger. Surely, you can't possibly hate your best friend of seven years. You must love him if this situation upsets you this much." She glared up at him, her eyes watering, and her hair a mess in her face, her chest trembling.

"You wouldn't know anything about love, Malfoy. You are a heartless, pureblooded git." She turned to run away but he was too fast for her, and he grabbed her left wrist to try and bring her back and stop her from escaping. Hermione's eyes widened and she let out a shriek of pain as his hand roughly rubbed at her bloodied wrist and she snapped her arm to her chest protectively, cradling the wounded limb with her other hand.

"What's the matter with you, Granger? Did I hurt you?" He asked, trying not to sound like he cared all that much. "What's wrong with your arm? Let me see it."

"No!" And she began to run away again, but this time he caught her around the shoulders, and reached for her arm. It was most difficult to grab it while she was thrashing around, so he decided that he needed to calm her down in someway. He quickly began stroking her hair again, very lightly, making sure to come into contact with her ear and cheek as he did so. Her thrashes turned into empty attempts of escape as she inwardly crumbled under his caresses. She openly wept, tears sprinkling the white fabric on the arm that was holding her against him, her back to his stomach. Once she stopped thrashing and pushing and pulling, he gently reached down and took her arm in his hand, and looked down at it.

He wasn't ready for what he saw. He hadn't expected this at all. His lips turned into a deep frown, his brow wrinkling in concentration. He lightly rubbed his thumb over the fresh cuts and heard a soft, pitiful whimper escape her mouth. He took a deep breath. "Did you do these yourself?" Like he needed an answer. It was so obvious she had mutilated herself. She nodded in his embrace. "Because of Weasley?" She gave another sob at the mentioned name and he turned her around to face him. "He's not worth it. Don't do that to yourself just because he's too thick-headed to realize you were right in front of him the whole time." She sniffled, gave a little whimper, and lunged into his arms, sobbing wildly into his chest, her arms wrapped around his waist. He wasn't prepared for that either. To his surprise Granger was much more unpredictable than he thought. Slowly, he reached around her and rubbed the small of her back and cradled her shoulders with the other arm. Her body wracked against him, and her mouth shuddered and let out small gasps every time she inhaled, sending shivers up and down his body.

"It's not fair. I would have done it with him if he had the courage to even ask me." She said though sniffles and shudders. He was surprised at that too. If all you had to do was ask her and she would shag you, than this would be much much much more easier than he thought. But, the fact that she wasn't in love with him like she was with Ron nagged at him at the back of his head and he then realized that it wouldn't be all that easy. But he was ahead of the Weasel so far by comforting the girl and he had never broken her heart before like he had. That must have counted for something.

Hermione's brain was on overdrive. 'I hate Ron. I HATE HIM! Malfoy smells really, really good. Like spice and cigarette smoke. I like it. Ron is such a git! I can't believe him. I feel really warm in Malfoy's embrace. I feel safe. I don't feel as lonely as I did before. Wait, what am I doing? This is Malfoy, for Merlin's sake!'

Hermione looked up at Draco, ready to tell him that she was leaving this detention because she needed to be alone when the words caught in her throat and never left her lips. He had a very loving, caring gaze. It was the most curious thing. He looked as if he was guilty. He was taking pity on her. He actually looked like he felt sad because she was sad. It was so very fascinating…

Before she knew what had happened, Malfoy's lips were on hers, gentle, almost like he was caressing her mouth. Funny, she had always thought his kisses would be rough and demanding, but they were the complete opposite. They were consoling, and soft, and warm. It sparked electricity in her veins that she hadn't felt for ages. She closed her eyes and willingly let him snake his tongue in her mouth and caress hers with his own. She moaned into his mouth, a humming vibrations sending a shiver down his spine. Her lightly nipped at her bottom lip, then slid his tongue over it, and then gently kissed her on her lips again.

Suddenly her mind registered what was going on and she quickly pulled away, ramming into the desk behind her with a soft thud. She hugged herself, not able to look him in the eye, and slowly backed away from him towards the door. "I… I have to go." And she ran off and left Draco by himself for the second night in a row.

He sighed, ruffling his silky hair and picked up the clipboard. His plan was successful, although he didn't really feel all that happy about it. He had upset her, but at least now she knew that she could come to him. Maybe there was a chance after all. Frowning slightly he began finishing up the inventory.

AN: So? How was it? I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It was enjoyable writing it. And don't worry, Hermione won't kill herself. No no no. Without Hermione in a D/Hr pairing, what would this be? It would be a really weird fic. Anyway, review! Chapter four will be up once I finish writing it!

Love,
Jami