11: Realizations and Dreams

Surprisingly for me I didn´t shed another tear after I had left the office. It seemed I was in a kind of trance that held me completely. Only with the corner of my eye I could make out Mr. Vankovic and the principal standing there. They probably expected me to tell them something about what I had spoken of with my mother but right at that moment I refused to speak or even think. As they looked at me with hope for an explanation I just nodded faintly and decided to spend another while in the hospital room.

I didn´t know why and it was also unusual that they let me in without their usual "the patient needs sleep". Something inside me seemed to tell me that I would be feeling better with Nataly than with Marianne. Sinking down on a chair beside her bed, my eyes focused on the ground.

Nataly placed a comforting hand on my forearm as she noticed my sadness. Perhaps she thought I was worried about her. Of course I was. I still gave myself the fault for the disappearance of her voice but the thing about my Dad troubled me more. The circumstances of his death made me think he was still alive. That could have been an explanation for my behaviour and all the salty water that didn´t run out of my eyes. As I looked up at my friend I saw her smile. This showed me she didn´t know yet what had really happened to her. But she had the right to know. "What did the doctor tell you about when your voice would come back?"

At my question she looked confused. She didn´t know how to show me that and came to the conlusion that she needed the pencil and paper that lay on the small table beside her bed. Rather hastily she scribbled down a few sentences and then handed the paper over to me.

He said I must have been able to speak already and that he must have given me a too high dosis of the medicine. So I´m not truly worried. I trust him. While I was reading this a ball of anger formed in my stomach. At least Mr. Vankovic had told me the truth. But now I didn´t know whether to tell her also or not. Nataly had never been as close to me as Marianne but I had to confess that we got to know each other a lot better and became friends while practicing for the singing event. She meant a lot to me and I couldn´t bear her believing such a stupid lie.

"Nataly, there´s something you don´t know yet. Mr. Vankovic talked to me and told me what really happened." I paused and cleared my throat.

Nervousness spread through her body obviously. It took all of me to continue: "I mean if you have luck everything will surely turn out good but... the chances that you´ll ever be able to speak again are very low. It´s almost impossible."

Tears sprung into her eyes. Her mouth formed an "Oh, god". Slowly I leaned forward and hugged her. It pained me to see her like that. She was clinging to me with a strong grip and my neck got wet from her tears. Rubbing her back a little she calmed down at least a bit. Nataly soon pushed me away with soft force. She didn´t want to bother me any longer, I could feel. Her physical state was good and the next day she would have to attend school again. She then motioned me to go and leave her to herself for a while.

I did as she had wished. Marianne wasn´t there. This was all so weird. The thing with Nataly, then my father. I went into my room and wanted to spend my free time there before the next lesson began. As I laid down on my bed I seemed to realize something: the fact that my father was really gone forever. I cried myself to sleep within moments...

Once more an embrace welcomed me. It seemed as if it was deep at night but I knew it was around midday. I welcomed the darkness around me and turned around to look into a pair of beautiful ice blue eyes. I smiled softly at my Vladislaus as he wiped away my tears. "There, there, Rachel. Everything will be alright." His calming words had been spoken so softly I couldn´t help but to feel safe where I was.

I didn´t struggle as his hands wandered to the edge of my shirt and pulled it off completely. He then rolled me over onto my stomach.

His hands roamed all over my back and unknown sensations awoke inside me. Within seconds he had unclasped my bra and my back was completely bare. The Count´s hands felt cool but not displeasing. My skin crawled under his icy touch, sending shivers up and down.

Never before I have felt so complete, just at peace. He then also grazed his fingernails softly all over my pale skin. I only cramped a little as he did so too hard. "Relax, my dear", he just said and that was point when I gave myself fully to him. I didn´t notice him taking out a small blade. Only slightly he pressed it against my back. As the blood started to trickle out he leaned down and licked the drops off. The pain was barely noticable for me. I couldn´t help but to enjoy what he was doing.

Placing the blade aside he started to kiss his way over my skin, sometimes even grazing his fangs over it. More and more I got to enjoy it and sighed in utter pleasure as he sank his fangs into my right shoulder, draining the blood out of it. But as quickly he had begun he ended and let me awake with the words: "One day I´ll do this to your front."