Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.
Chapter Twenty-One
"I Enjoy Being a Girl"
"I still can't believe we're doing this," Ron said imploringly.
"I can't believe we're happy to be doing this," Harry corrected him.
Ron looked at him and nodded his ascent, and then added impishly, "Does this dress make my butt look big?" Harry laughed along with Hermione and George, official partners in crime.
"Ron, I'm relieved to say that we will never be one of those couples where the man is prettier than the girl." Hermione teased, continuing the light tone.
"Oh, Harry darling, you forgot the lipstick that goes with your nails. Remember, 'a girl always matches her lips and tips'!" George quoted from the Texan beauty pageant code of honor in her best southern drawl.
"Just don't mess up my makeup when you kiss me goodbye," warned Harry playfully back at George.
While they all laughed and played along, they all knew it was to lessen the tension they all felt about the dangerous plan they were about to execute. After weeks of research, selection of tactics and development of contingency plans, today was the day Harry would confront Buttercup. He hoped more than anyone that the confrontation would not turn into something to be replayed over and over again on Divination Deathwatch. Almost the last thing he wanted was to have to kill Buttercup. Of course, the last thing he wanted was for Buttercup to kill him.
Strangely, he'd gotten used to Buttercup's presence over the last few weeks. Omnipresent from his classroom windows and overhead while outside at Hogwarts, she proved more of a nuisance than a threat- almost kind of a malificent guardian angel. While Harry felt confident that he could certainly defend himself from her if he had to, his friends preferred to form a protective huddle around him when venturing outside. Trips to Hagrid's hut took on the strange appearance of a drunken rugger scrim, with at least four, and sometimes more, cohorts moving in unison like a thick knot of flesh. Quidditch required the same watchfulness that was needed when the dementors were over Hogwarts as sentinels for Sirius.
The crazy reality game show was proving to be much more of a hassle and threat than Buttercup. While Dumbledore had looked into the legality of the show, and had influenced powerful people to squelch it, it was still on the air and gaining in popularity. Couples made predictions of Harry in the Grim Reaper's grasp, or at least in dire straits, including time, place, perpetrator and instruments. The show was a real-time game of Clue, and everyone was watching. As the past few weeks had actually passed in relative calm, the week's winners tended to be those who got closest to things like naming which finger Harry got a hangnail on or his latest bad grade from Snape. Viewers still did not mind watching the outrageous predictions of the contestants or the cameras aimed on Harry from the most unlikely spots: a butt cam someone had attached to a Hufflepuff's Nimbus 2000 during a Quidditch match, live streaming from Draco Malfoy's contraband Moto Razur or a secret camera had hidden in Winky's service tray.
Nonetheless, the show's producers were concerned about the eventual loss of viewers when Harry didn't stub a toe, much less meet an untimely death. He found that little accidents and mishaps were occuring more than the law of probability would dictate, indicating the possible intervention of the producers in trying to create trouble for him. If he was uncomfortable about his fame before, Harry was positively beside himself about it now. Rarely did he, George or his friends get to be themselves in public anymore. The four were also becoming increasingly sure that the show was getting help from someone at Hogwarts- perhaps even a professor.
The only benefit of the living under this microscope was that it proved to be the genesis of a main factor in their plans for Buttercup. Venturing out of Hogwarts to play out the ambush would be difficult, if not impossible, with the Divination Deathwatch coverage. When it appeared some sort of disguise would be necessary, Hermione immediately hit upon a good use for the dare the boys still had to fulfill. She also convinced the others that dressing in drag would not only skirt the cameras, but confuse the dementor as well.
Once the boys were effectively camouflaged as young women, they left the Gryffindor girls' dormitory with Geo and Hermione. Although it was strictly off limits for Gryffindor boys, they felt that being seen leaving from that exit was worth taking a chance of getting caught. The four headed out of Hogwart's gate and down into the village proper. After arriving at the loading dock behind Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, all save Harry scurried into the back of the store to take their places along the windows and doors, joining Fred and George Weasley. The mouse was in place; now where was the cat?