Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Same Dog, New Tricks
"You want us to do what?" George said incredulously.
"You heard us; we want you to send Snape valentine's cards," stated Ron in his most matter-of-fact manner.
Harry added, "After making us wear women's clothes, we figure that a little payback is in order."
"Hey! We saved your life making you dress in drag," reminded Hermione.
"I know, but..." Harry started in.
Ron jumped in, "Harry's right, we know it saved his life... but it also made us look like idiots! You know redheads are never supposed to wear red, and you got me in a red dress, heels and handbag. It was awful. Why couldn't you put me in green? Or brown? Or another Weasley color?"
"Ron, you're not making much of an argument here. It's this way, ladies- we did something outrageous and embarassing- at least to us- and we think it's only fair that you do something in return- to show us how much you love us!"
"All right, all right! We'll do it," Hermione and George said, looking at each other in reluctant agreement. "What do we exactly have to do?"
"You have to each send Snape a nice little love letter, card or post-it note," Ron explained.
"Fine, but it has to be anonymous. I don't need another Snape-as-stalker scenerio in my life," George said.
Harry smiled in agreement, "Neither do I, George. Neither do I."
"Let's get to it, friend," Hermione prodded George. She produced a piece of parchment, and they put their heads together right away at the table in the Gryffindor common room. Harry and Ron started talking, their conversation meandering as they waited to see the girls' finished products.
"Do you remember seeing that picture before, Harry?"
"As a matter of fact, no," Harry answered Ron.
"It's weird, not like any of the others in the castle," Ron observed.
"Yeah, everything else here has been around for eons, and this looks like something you'd buy at a muggle flea market in London," Harry said.
"Really?" Ron asked excitedly, "Dad would be thrilled to hear about that."
They looked again at the picture above the common room table where the four friends sat. It was remarkable only in it's cheesiness. Five canines- a pug, an English bulldog, a French poodle, a Labrador retriever and a sheepdog- were engaged in what appeared to be a poker game. The pug wore an old-fashioned dealer's visor, and they all held hands of cards in their paws, sly faces on all five as they surveyed the competition. "Definitely, weird, Harry," Ron said under his breath, watching them play the hand.
Suddenly, the bulldog growled down at Ron and Harry, "What! You don't like Texas hold 'em?"
"You'd better not be helping anyone cheat," warned the poodle next, "I only look fancy. I can rip you to shreds- just try something."
"Relax, relax. These two are friends of mine," said the black lab to his canine co-horts.
Hermione leaped from her seat, hearing the familiar voice, "Sirius!" Ron and Harry's expression mirrored hers, full of equal parts shock and joy.
"You know this talking dog?" George asked in total disbelief.
"Sorry, I'm forgetting my manners, George. George Sanders, I'd love for you to meet Sirius Black, my godfather," Harry did the introduction with more than a hint of pleased grandeur, sweeping his arm up to the tacky art piece.
"Your godfather's a dog?" George asked, "A talking dog?"
"It's a long story, George. I'll tell you everything later. Suffice to say that Sirius wasn't always a dog, at least not all the time, that is."
As usual, she caught on quickly. "Oh, so your godfather's an animagus," she said, suddenly comprehending the full picture.
"Ah, Harry. Good boy. Finally found a girl up to Hermione's standards. Very good," Sirius said, ribbing Harry.
"I do my best, sir," Harry joked back. "Now are you going to tell us how you've ended up in there?"
"Yes, yes, of course. Friends, I'm sorry I have to fold. Do continue the game," Sirius addressed his group, laying his cards on the table and moving to the edge of the picture frame. He looked back down at the human foursome and began his tale.
"After my rendez-vous with Voldemort, I was in a sort of limbo, for lack of a better term. I seemed to float around for days and weeks at a time, observing others others but not being able to communicate. I saw so many things: the Serengeti, a room of Dutch physicians, abstract shapes, many things. Nothing made sense. Everything was of different periods and modes. There would be other times when I would swear that only a day had gone past, only to discover that months had transpired. Sometimes it was fun and interesting. I spent an entire week in a pond. All sorts of wildlife. It got boring though, since I couldn't speak to any of the pondlife."
"Hey, I could've helped you. I speak turtle," Ron shared.
"Sure you do, Ron. Just like you speak mountain troll..." Harry shook his head.
Sirius continued with his story, ignoring Ron's claim. "It was also strange and disconcerting. I was not in either world, but I sensed a human world somewhere in front of me. Then one day I was sitting at thie very table with my card-playing buddies- it really does help to pass the time away- when I saw the strangest sight of all. Elvis was right in clear view- the thin Elvis- on black velvet. He was being kissed on the cheek by Violet."
"Violet? You mean, the witch Violet? The Fat Lady's friend?" Harry queried.
"Yes, Harry, the same Violet. I called out to her, and she took off as soon as she saw me. I had to run after her, pleading to stop and talk to me. Of course, she was mad and fearful of me after what I'd done to the Fat Lady. I finally persuaded her to hear me out, and then she was quite helpful. She explained that I'd ended up in a picture. But of course! How had I not known? She said it's not clear to anyone who ends up in a painting, other than former headmasters, but indeed there I was.
I asked her how she moved, on purpose, to different paintings, and she explained that too. Then she told me how she'd ended up in Las Vegas. The one in America! That's where we were! Seems a Hufflepuff of Muggle heritage had grown up loving Elvis. Played him constantly. Violet developed a liking as well, and wanted to actually meet him. Heard he was handsome in his younger days. She got wind that Hogwarts was participating in an art exhibition at the Bellagio in Las Vegas, of rare paintings with a magical theme."
"I heard about that from my Dad!" Ron exclaimed. "It's kind of a Muggle outreach program."
"Yes, precisely, Ron. Violet managed to finagle her way into the group of paintings being transported to Vegas by flying into one of them as it was being taken down by Mr. Filch. She hid behind some shrubbery, and he never saw her."
"So how did you get back here, Sirius?" Hermione asked.
"Show ended!" Sirius exclaimed. "The date was posted everywhere, so Vi and I made sure we were on the pallets when they took down the pieces to ship back. She flew into a portrait of the Inquisition trials- scary stuff!"
"But you can't tell me that a tacky picture of five dogs playing poker was in a fancy exhibit, Sirius! How did you get yourself and your canines here?" Hermione continued.
All five dogs glowered down at Hermione now. "My dear witch, we certainly WERE part of a fancy show when the theme is magical art! We talked to the viewers."
"You did not!" Ron blurted out.
"Oh, yes we did! I drove the curators crazy. Kept looking for hidden microphones, and what not. No one could figure out how it was done. Of course, the most logical answer was right in front of their faces- we ARE magical."
"Well, however you managed it, we're glad you're here. Now, how can we get you out?" Harry said.
"I thought you'd be able to figure that out for me, Harry, I have faith in you," answered Sirius. "Now, get working on it... and I'll get back to my card game! Deal me in, friends."
Harry looked glumly at his cohorts, "any ideas?"
They looked from one to the other with blank expressions, until George said, "Let the fun begin!"
"Fun? You call this fun?" Ron asked in disbelief.
"Ronald," Hermione began answering for George with a sly smile on her face, "you obviously don't know George well enough yet!" The girls giggled and ran to their room to grab parchment, quills and reference books.
"What was that about?" Harry looked at Ron inquisitively. Ron just shook his empty head, wearing Rupert face #2.
The boys had no more time to wonder when the girls emerged from the entrance to the girls' dorm, bearing their supplies and talking excitedly. Ron and Harry looked again at each other in disbelief. "What are we missing here?" Harry asked, as if Ron could answer.
"You're missing the solution to our Sirius problem, that's what," Hermione answered the rhetorical question.
"Well, how do you know how to solve it?" Harry asked earnestly.
"I don't, but our friend here can!" exclaimed Hermione.
"Thanks for the show of support, Hermione, but don't sing my praises yet. It's only a hunch, but it may just work," George replied.
"What may work? What are we going to do?" asked Ron.
George's eyes shone brightly as she started sharing what she knew. "When I started working with Professor Snape, we started our work by doing an inventory of what potions we both knew. That way we could figure out which ones we had different versions of, as well as categorizing them by type for the book's index." George still admired Snape greatly, and always spoke of him respectfully, addressing him as 'Professor'. "There were many that I'd figured out on my own, but for which I had made up my own names. I discovered from Professor Snape that most had pre-existing names in the magical world, which I, of course, was totally unaware of."
They all started questioning her at once. "And it's one of those that will let Sirius out of the painting?" asked Harry.
"Can you use a potion on a painting?" asked Hermione.
"Don't you think Snape smells of garlic most of the time?" Ron chimed in.
George just started laughing. "No, yes and not always," she said answering their questions. "Let me finish! And let me explain." They all started laughing and eased their bodies back from her, as if giving her room to think and to talk.
"Snape was quite interested in one of the first potions I'd brewed as a child- one I called the 'Paper Dolly Potion.'"
"The whaaa?" Ron blurted out.
"Ronald! Let her continue!" Hermione scolded. Harry just smiled admiringly at his genius girlfriend, amazed and mesmerized by the fact that she had brewed potions as a little girl in America What a different life.
George continued, smiling, "Yes, the 'Paper Dolly Potion'. Professor Snape thought the name was charming."
"I'll just bet he did," Harry said under his breath.
"What?" asked George innocently.
"Nothing, nothing. Tell us about it," Harry covered for himself.
"When I was a little girl, we didn't have much money, my parents being artists and all. I think that's one reason I got into magic. I had to create interesting things for myself to do, because I didn't have many toys. I started making potions, not calling them that, of course. We lived out in the country, with plenty of fields and forest around us. I'd roamed the area since I could walk, my parents knowing it was safe and healthy for miles around. I'd bring home pretty flowers and plants, and strange things too. I'd "cook" them in a pot in our fire pit, or microwave them in the kitchen. I was always pretending to be an Indian or a mom on TV.
"I realized that these concoctions had certain properties- they could do things- especially if I was thinking or feeling or saying something at the same time. Some of a potion had splashed into my dad's coffee just as I was thinking 'I wish he'd take me horseback riding.' I couldn't believe it when he put down his paper and said, 'why don't we go riding today, Punkin?'
"Another time, I was mad at my mom for making me clean my room. She'd said, 'Stop playing with that goo, and get a move on!' I really misbehaved and shook the wooden spoon at her, showering her with that same goo, thinking I wished she'd zip it. We were both horrified when a huge zipper appeared across her lips, shut tight. That took awhile to undo, let me tell you! Anyway, I started testing them and memorizing what I'd done. When I was old enough to write, I started writing them down and organizing them."
"Your dad calls you 'Punkin'?" asked Harry, a dopey look of love all over his face.
"Harry, keep on track," Hermione scolded him, "Keep going, George."
"Yeah, this is interesting!" Ron said, "Harry grew up with Muggles and didn't know he was a wizard, but you grew up with Muggles and knew you had powers! Cool!"
Hermione got them back on topic, "so how did you come up with this potion?"
"Well, some of my other favorite- and cheap- things to make and play with were paper dolls. I'd draw figures and cut them out for hours on end, making clothes and animals and little carts for them. After awhile, I got pretty bored moving them around and creating little stories. The other girls at my school talked about Barbies and such, and all I had were these two dimensional pieces of paper."
"What are 'Barbies'?" Now it was Hermione's turn to interrupt George.
"I'll tell you later," laughed George, "and I'd better end my story! I decided to put the two together, and make my dolls come to life."
"You're telling us that you brought paper dolls to life!" Harry asked incredulously.
"Well, I didn't realize they'd really come to life- I just wanted them to be three dimensional and animated," George explained.
"What did you put in the potion?" asked Hermione, ever the student.
"I made the potion from the ground feather of a hummingbird- the smallest and the fastest beating heart. I mixed it with the essences of all of the wildflowers I could find- very colorful and scented. Then I added small snippets of my hair, my mom's and dad's- and one drop of my blood. I was going to use more, but I hated pricking my finger."
"And then, what? You made the dolls drink that stuff?" Ron asked in an exasperated manner.
"Very funny, Ron- but what did you do with it?" continued Hermione.
"I painted them with it!" George said triumphantly.
"Of course!" Hermione shrieked, "That makes total sense."
Now Harry got excited. "So all we have to do is make the Paper Dolly Potion, and paint Sirius with it! He'll become three dimensional. Let's get to the forest!"