A/N- Remember this? Well, it's baaaaack! Beware.

Disclaimer- I don't own LM, sadly.

The Inspector's New Groove

It was a dark and stormy night. Ooh. All was sort-of-not-really quiet in Paris, seeing how it was Paris, the city that never sleeps. Or was that Saigon? Or maybe it was somewhere in the United States. Was it Albuquerque? New Orleans? Chicago? Ah well.

Anyway, we take you to one particular area. Here can be found a police station. In the police station can be found a heavily-sideburned inspector who is currently filling out papers. That's right. Boring job, isn't it? Outside this police station, however, something interesting is happening. A beloved… that is, evil… street gang is loitering. Now, I know what you're thinking. Why is a street gang outside a police station? My answer: Shut up, I'm telling a story.

A few doors down from this police station is a conveniently placed café where a group of frat boys is meeting to discuss building a barricade in the streets and overthrowing the government. Now that sounds like fun, doesn't it? Even more fun than loitering outside a police station. It makes one wonder what our street gang is thinking…

But let us return to the inspector. As he was filling out papers in the police station, the gang outside was getting bored. The ventriloquist and the unsung Hercules, these being Claquesous and Gueulemer, began to thumb wrestle. The old innkeeper and the thin man, these being Thénardier and Babet, had spitting contest. The devilish dandy, Montparnasse, fell asleep. Devilish, huh?

The peacefulness of the street was shattered when Claquesous shouted; "I win!"

"You cheated!" responded Gueulemer.

"No he didn't," Babet volunteered. "I was watching the whole thing."

Thénardier glared at him. "You were not!"

"Was so!" cried Babet.

"Were not!"

"Was not!"

"Were so!" Thénardier snapped. "He was watching!"

"Yeah, I was watching and Clacky didn't cheat," Babet declared triumphantly.

Claquesous's eyes probably widened, but it didn't matter seeing how no one could see his face. "Babet!" he hissed.

Thénardier grinned maliciously. "Did you say… Clacky?"

"Uh…"

Claquesous grabbed a rock and hurled it at Babet. This rock, however, missed its target and went crashing through the front window of the police office.

"What the… JAIL!" cried Javert's voice.

Thénardier, Babet, Claquesous, and Gueulemer ran away. Montparnasse would have run away with him, but he was dreaming about the fifth song on the Original Broadway Cast recording of Les Misérables by Alain Boublil and Claude-Michel Schönberg.

Javert rushed out into the street. "WHO DID THAT?"

"Huh?" Montparnasse muttered, waking up. "Wasn't me…"

"Wait…" said Javert slowly, "You're Montparnasse, dangerous and hardened criminal! JAIL!"

With that, he dragged the young dandy into the station and threw him into a cell.

"Listen," Montparnasse said loudly, "Normally I wouldn't care about this, but it's my night to bring home the bread for the gang, if ya know what I mean."

"The gang! I hope they starve!"

"Hey now…"

"What?"

"There's ladies you're condemning there."

Javert snorted. "Ladies in the Patron-Minette?"

"Well, not technically IN the Patron-Minette, but we're responsible for feeding two young girls and their mother," Montparnasse explained.

"The wenches have certainly gone without food before. I'm sure they can survive one more day without."

"Wait! I know you didn't just insult my mistress and her family! That's MY job… and her father's… and the rest of the gang…"

"Do shut up," Javert said, locking the cell door.

"This means war!" Montparnasse shouted.

Javert rolled his eyes. "Oh, I'm terrified."

At this moment something down the street exploded. Javert, leaving Montparnasse in the cell, ran out the door screaming, "Disturbing the peace! JAIL!"

Let us return to the students in the café. As the Patron-Minette was breaking the station window, they were going over their ammunition.

"Here," the blond leader Enjolras said, "Put the barrel of gunpowder next to that empty table over there…

"Um… that table isn't empty…" the thoughtful Combeferre protested.

Enjolras sighed. "It is empty of a useful or even working mind. Anyway, he's passed out… the gunpowder will be perfectly safe there."

"Dis could kill us, you dow dat, dod't you, Odjolras?" Joly exclaimed, rubbing his nose with the tip of his cane.

"When the drunk is passed out, he is not a danger," insisted Enjolras.

"Oh, sure he isn't." Laigle muttered.

"Just put the barrel there!" Enjolras demanded.

Courfeyrac placed the barrel of gunpowder next to Grantaire and the students all took a seat as Enjolras leapt up onto a table and began to make a speech.

Grantaire awoke. "Ow… my head… OOH! Gunpowder!"

"My friends," Enjolras cried, "We will soon have enough powder to…"

"Oops…" Grantaire said as he knocked over a candle.

As the smoke cleared, Enjolras and Grantaire looked around to find that the other Amis were buried under what used to be part of the ceiling of the café. They heard muffled groans and voices.

"Ow! By siduses hurdt!" Joly moaned.

"Ugh… what will the ladies think of a black eye?" muttered Courfeyrac.

"I'll bet this never happens in Poland…" said Feuilly.

"Just my luck," sighed Laigle.

Combeferre's voice declared, "I'm sure there's a deeper meaning to this…"

"Yes, Combeferre, there is!" Jehan exclaimed. "The fact that only part of the ceiling fell while we were planning a revolution means that we will only accomplish part of our purpose! I should write that down…"

"If I should die before I get out from under this mess, someone please tell Cosette I love her!"

"I didn't know Marius was here!" Bahorel said.

Enjolras and Grantaire were, amazingly, the only two who weren't under the part of ceiling that fell, seeing how they were closer to the door. How does that work, you ask. My answer: See above.

"Um…" Enjolras said.

"That was close," Grantaire added.

The door flew open to reveal a very angry inspector Javert. "Disturbing the piece AND destroying public property? JAIL!" he screamed.

Javert dragged Enjolras and Grantaire down to the station and threw them into the cell that Montparnasse was in a moment ago. He didn't seem to notice that said Montparnasse was no longer there.

"Listen, Monsieur," Enjolras said. "I really do need to leave…"

"Why, pray tell?" Javert demanded.

"He wants to overthrow the government," said Grantaire.

"Oh, well in that case…" Javert said sarcastically. He unlocked the cell door.

"That was easy!" Grantaire cried.

"Grantaire… I don't think he's serious."

"I'd let the murderer out before you two!" the inspector declared.

"What murderer?" Enjolras asked.

It was then that Javert noticed that Montparnasse was gone. "CURSE YOU, PATRON-MINETTE!"

With that, Javert rushed out into the street to find the devilish dandy, leaving the cell door open. Enjolras blinked.

"That was REALLY easy," said Grantaire.

They left.