A/N: Sorry for the wait. It just wasn't coming to me and I really didn't want to try and force out a chapter that was sub-par (which is kinda funny since I had the entire second half finished the day after I posted the last one). I can't promise steady updates, there's just too much going on in my life, not to mention it's my last semester of college (thank God) and to graduate I'm taking both Latin III and IV. But I can promise that it will be finished along with all my other fic. Now that you've had this little glimpse into my life that I'm sure no one cares about lets get on with the story.
A/N 2: This chapter contains slight spoilers for "Lie to Me."
A/N 3: Thanks to: mysticallove, onlimain, Emily, MysticWolf1, ShalBrenfan, s.., C'est Magnifique, godessa39, charmedslayers, thekorapersonality, pinkyblue-ice, star-prancer, and jojotheorange. You guys keep me going.
Chapter 10
"What!"
Anne was stunned past the point of vocalization. Cordelia had told her a little about how she knew Buffy before the attack on the shelter. But most of it was spoken in hard-to-understand rambling words. Nothing had stuck with her and she found herself more worried about what to do with the extra kids than anything else.
Gunn, however, obviously still retained the ability to speak, "Hold up English. You're tellin' me that Buffy- our Buffy, is this same girl we're not supposed to be talkin' about around Angel because he gets all broody? Buffy is his old flame?"
Wesley was taken back by the anger he heard in his friend's voice. Despite the close relationship the two clearly shared, the level of animosity that Gunn was displaying was above and beyond anything he expected, and he was beginning to seriously regret saying anything. "Perhaps we should take this discussion out into the hallway."
Gunn looked down at the still form on the bed, torn. He wanted nothing more than to hear what Wesley had to say but not at the expense of leaving Buffy by herself. He needed to be there in case she woke up. But then, he could see the wisdom in leaving the room to leave her in peace.
He shifted his gaze to the other blonde in the room. Anne's mouth was still hanging open and she stared blankly at the figure in the bed. It was true that she didn't understand the situation to the same extent that Gunn did, having no experience with the vampire, but something was nagging her in the back of her mind. There was something she should know about this and it wouldn't leave her alone.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the hand placed on her shoulder. Startled she looked up to see Gunn standing behind her, a question in his eyes. She frowned in confusion.
"Me and Wes are gonna step outside and talk. You wanna come?"
She nodded and silently rose from her place by Buffy's side. This was something she needed to hear if only to better understand her friend. "Who- who's going to stay with her?"
Wesley gave her a gentle smile as she stood, "I am positive she will be fine by herself for the time being."
She nodded and followed the two men out with Cordelia. They didn't go far, only to the sitting rooms that they could still see her through the window of her room. Each took a seat except for Gunn who immediately began his furious pacing in the small area, trying to work things out in his mind.
Gunn gave Wesley a hard look as he continued pacing, "So talk English, I need to know what's going on."
"Why are you so worried about this?" Wesley questioned. "They have not had contact in over a year, and it is likely that after this is over their separation will continue. Why the need to know?"
Gunn sank dejectedly into the nearest chair across from them, "You have no idea how much pain that girl's been through. I saw her suffering first hand." He nodded in Anne's direction including her in his statement, "We were there to see it. And we never knew exactly what happened. I know someone hurt her. I know she ran because of it. I know that, whatever it was, it was so painful she was haunted by the memories every night." He sighed, "And I know she still feels the pain. It's in her eyes for all to see."
Wesley opened his mouth to interrupt but Gunn continued talking, "And the fact that she's still in pain, and you're sayin' it's been over a year since they seen each other," he shrugged, "that's more telling than anything you've said so far."
"Hey!" Cordelia interjected, "You can't just blame that on Angel. It was mostly her fault anyway!" She plowed on ignoring the dark looks Gunn shooting at her, "If she had just been able to control herself for five minutes nothing would have happened and Angel-"
"Angel," the quite voice that broke through Cordelia's furious rant belonged to Anne. She was staring through the window of Buffy's room with a thoughtful expression on her face. "Angel was there."
"What are you talking about?"
Cordelia's voice was sharp and snapped Anne out of her trance. She turned to gaze at the others who were looking at her expectantly. "Angel was with Buffy when she helped me before… in Sunnydale. I couldn't figure out why Angel seemed so familiar the first time I saw him, but I remember now." She turned her attention to Gunn, "You remember when I told you I used to belong to that vampire cult-"
"You were a member of a vampire cult?" Wesley asked.
"You were a member of a vampire cult in Sunnydale?" Cordelia questioned, "Some people just never learn. Anywhere else, yes. But in Sunnydale? No."
Wesley continued, "The Watcher's Council had only heard rumors about their existence. It is said that they worship the vampire as a deity and their sole purpose is to become vampires themselves. But the truth of the matter is that they only end up being used as food and disposed of, a slight variation of the vampire feed houses where people pay to have their blood drunk. The members of vampire cults have the misguided belief that vampires are not evil demons, but simply an elevated species that is a step up from humans or a step down from gods. Much like the Tuatha Dé Danaan who…"
He drifted off as he realized the others were looking at him with slightly glazed over expressions on their faces. He cleared his throat, "So, you were saying about the, uh, vampire cult?"
"Yes," Anne continues slowly, as if she was waiting for him to continue his impromptu lecture about mythical god-creatures, "I was a part of a vampire cult in Sunnydale, and pretty much everything you said is true. Buffy rescued us all from the vampires. I was going to be the first victim."
She paused, lost in thought until Cordelia broke in, "What does that have to do with Angel?"
Anne blinked and came back to herself with a small blush at having been caught wondering, "Sorry, I was getting to that. Angel was there the first time. He came in with two others, I can't believe I remember this, and he said something against vampires that at the time hurt my feelings. I'm surprised I didn't remember him earlier."
She gave a small grin, "So, Angel and Buffy, I wouldn't have guessed."
"Yeah, Angel and Buffy," Gunn cut in sharply, "lets get back to that. First, how do you guys know her?"
"I came from Sunnydale, duh," Cordelia responded with an eye-roll. "Lived in that hellhole all my life until I graduated."
"Wes?"
Wesley sighed before attempting any conversation; this could quickly escalate into a bad situation. "How much do you actually know about Buffy?"
He was met by blank looks. "Exactly what do you mean by that?" Gunn asked.
"Do you know what she is?"
Gunn and Anne exchanged glances before Gunn spoke up, "She's the Slayer."
"And do you know what all that entails?"
"Oh come off it Wesley," Cordelia broke in, "we don't have time for twenty questions." She turned to Gunn and Anne, "He was her watcher after Giles was fired. Don't know what a watcher is? They're these stuffy Brits who's only purpose is to order the Slayer around and research the end of the world."
Wesley looked heavenwards, as if looking for guidance, "Thank you Cordelia, I am sure that answers any and all questions they might have. Lets just say I helped her for half a year before I moved to L. A. and leave it at that. You want to know about Angel, not me and the Watcher's Council."
Wesley sighed and rubbed at his forehead, "To be honest, I do not know much about their relationship save what Mr. Giles left in his diaries which covered the bare facts only. I know that Buffy was incredibly dedicated to Angel to the extent that she quit the Council when they refused to help him. An action which is unheard of and one that could possess dire consequences for her."
"That doesn't tell us anything," Gunn cut in.
Anne crossed the center of the aisle, sat next to him, and took his hand in hers in a calming gesture, "They'll get to it, let him speak Gunn."
He frowned but didn't remove his hand from hers
"I am afraid that is all I can tell you about their relationship." He turned to Cordelia, "You knew them longer, do you have anything to add?"
"It's complicated guys," she began reluctantly, "and there's no way we can cover the Buffy and Angel saga in the time we have. To sum it all up, they couldn't keep their hands off each other, Angel lost his soul, Buffy sent him to hell, she ran away, she came back, Angel came back, and then Angel left. This is unnecessarily bringing back bad memor-"
"Hold up," Gunn broke in, "Angel can lose his soul?"
"Well yeah," Cordelia continued, "It's not like it's super glued in there or anything. Believe me, you don't want to meet Angel sans soul."
"Yes, Angelus is a creature of unparalleled evil. His actions decimated the populations of Eastern Europe in the late 18th century when he, Darla, Spike, and Drusilla went on a killing spree across the continent."
"Umm, excuse me," Anne began hesitantly, "but did you say that she ran away?"
"Yeah," Cordelia said, "It was at the end of junior year, what was that, like three years ago?"
Anne and Gunn exchanged glances of mutual understanding, "She came here."
"What?" said Cordelia.
Anne nodded as things fell in place, "That was when she was here. She rescued me from some kind of slave dimension where you work until you died but only one day passed here. It was really weird."
"She also helped me and my crew," Gunn picked up the tale, "She taught us how to fight the monsters and how to fight the monsters better. We all woulda died if it hadn't been for her."
He rubbed his free hand across his face and continued, "But even helpin' like she was, she wasn't happy. She wasn't even living. I could swear the only thing that kept her goin' was the guilt that someone would die if she wasn't out there. That and the hope that something would finally do her in." Anne nodded sadly in agreement and rubbed the back of his hand in support, "She had a death wish every time she went out with a stake in her hand. Nothing mattered. She was waiting to die."
"What are you talking about?" Cordelia asked out of true confusion and not spite, "Buffy was never like that. I mean, sure she came back and there was the requisite emotional confrontation, but other than that, everything was fine. She was fine even before Angel got back."
Wesley leaned back in is chair before making is own observations clear, "Gunn, I may not have been a very good Watcher, but I was with Buffy for quite some time, and I must say that she never exhibited any of the depression that you say she was feeling. In fact she was surprisingly resilient. I was constantly amazed at her emotional maturity. During the times I was certain she would collapse she showed amazing strength of character and reacted in ways I had not expected which helped her through the hard times." He glanced through the glass window to see the Slayer, "I have never seen her as emotionally weak as you have described. It is almost impossible to even imagine her that way at all."
Gunn just looked between the two of them for a long time in silence before coming to a decision, "You don't see it do you? You've known her for years, and you don't see it. The girl wears her heart on her sleeve. She's physically incapable of hiding her emotions if her life depended on it." He shook his head, "Cordelia, she still has that look in her eyes. I only saw her for a couple of minutes and could see it. She's hurtin'. Even now."
He shook off Anne's hand and walked over to the window to get a closer look at the Slayer, "And from what I'm hearin,' Angel played the largest part in it. I have a problem with that. Angel was never someone I trusted completely. Buffy was.
"Now I don't know much about Slayers or what it means to be one. But I do know it's a thankless job that was forced on her. She has my support, always has. All she has to do is say the word and I'm there." He cast a quick glance over his shoulder, "And she knows that. I don't know about you, but I'm gonna be there for the girl."
And with that he left the waiting room to sit next to his friend leaving the others to their silence.
It was Anne who spoke up next, "You should probably just give him some space for a while. The fact that Angel was the reason she was so sad has shaken him. It was definitely unexpected."
"That is understandable," Wesley said. "I do not imagine I would take the news any better."
Anne rubbed her arms to warm herself and stared at the floor, "I just hope she wakes up soon."
"We all do."
xoxox
For most people, waking down an LA street in the middle of the night was not something that was advisable. But he was not most people. And this night, he stalked.
The numbness had worn off rather quickly after Cordelia had left him there alone. Her words sliced through him surer than any blade could. But then, she had always been an expert of wielding her words as a weapon. She turned it into an art, cutting him down where he stood, the shards of his resolution scattered on the cold tile floor of the hospital.
She left him with nothing but that old sense of failure, so familiar to him. But at the heart of his misery was the fact that she spoke true. It was undeniable that her motivation stemmed from the fact that she wanted to hurt him for leaving them. Her quick defense of Buffy, a woman who she shared nothing but animosity with, revealed that. Yet it was irrefutable that she spoke the truth.
Why use lies when the truth works so much better?
"Don't you think you've caused her enough pain for one lifetime?"
The words reverberated in his mind, the truth of them undeniable. They left him empty. So much so that he wasn't even filled with the rage that it should have. The rage that would have had him bursting through the wide doors that separated him from her and taking her away with him.
Nothing. He had nothing. His friends had banded together in his absence and could make it on their own. The woman he… but that line of thought was dangerous and best stopped before it began. She would be fine without him. She always had been. It was one of the reasons he was able to tear himself away the first time he left, the sure knowledge that she would be alright.
The darkened streets beckoned and he had no where else to be. He wandered aimlessly, consumed by the emptiness he had been left with.
He was so consumed that he failed to hear the sound of stiletto heels hitting the pavement as they came closer. He failed to catch the scent of jasmine on the breeze. He failed to recognize the blood connection between the two of them.
But he did hear the throaty feminine purr whispering in his ear, "My darling boy, all alone tonight?"
It took him a second to register her voice and when he turned to face her on the deserted street she was standing right behind him, a hand reaching up to gently caress his face, "You seem so lonely."
Her voice was full of promises made in the dark of night under silk sheets and the cooling sweat of lethargic limbs. But then, she had always sounded like that. "What are you doing here Darla?"
She was dressed in the style she favored, clinging blood reds in leather and silk. He absorbed it all in a glance taking in her provocative attire along with the still healing scars covering her face from the fire. They were a subtle reminder that he needed to keep his focus. "A little bird told me you would be here, all by yourself. I was surprised I was actually able to understand her. She wasn't very happy with you. But then 'Daddy' can do no wrong, and once she realized that, I think she might have enjoyed it."
Her hand slowly traced the contours of his face as she drank in the sight of him. He didn't shrug her off. He didn't think to shrug her off. It was like his mind was disconnected from his body. But slowly the emptiness was filling with some yet to be identified emotion. "She knows where to find me if she feels up to a repeat performance."
"Darling, you should have known better than to try and torture to death the woman you drove insane. Your actions actually left her feeling optimistic. She went back to the Hellmouth to get Spike. It seems she harbors the belief that our little family has a chance of reforming." Her thumb moved across his lower lip and she stepped closer, watching his reaction.
"I have to admit, I harbor that same wish. That once more we would be as we were. You might abhor our glory days but they hold my most fond memories."
Her whisper glided across his skin in a smooth seduction. And that is what this was. A seduction. And Drusilla had been right. This was the perfect time to approach him, while he was beaten and at his lowest.
There was something about her that was always able to beat him and bring him down. And in the haze of emptiness and growing hate he failed to see what Darla was doing.
He forgot about the times she had built him up. The times she had reached her hand out offering her love to him to do with as he wished. The times she had brought him out of the darkness, and showed him that he could be a better man. That he could be a man. Not a monster.
He forgot it all, and what little he remembered was being pushed away by the anger that was rising within him. Darla concentrated on his face and read his expressions as easily as she had once been able to.
Before the gypsies.
Before the soul.
When he had been hers.
She watched him and a slow smile spread on her face as she took a step back and separated her from his body. The grin grew as she saw his anger and she stretched out her hand in a blatant offering.
And waited for him to take it.
Tbc…