— August 1998 —

'Recently I've been to the healer,' said Ariana, 'and…'

'Why, is something wrong?' asked Severus warily.

'No, just an annual check. Anyway, my healer feels a debt of gratitude to Albus and now after the war he also feels indebted to me, so I dared to ask him a few questions about, er, potioneers working at St Mungo's.'

'Why?'

'Well, you've been complaining that you don't have much money,' said Ariana defensively.

'I only mentioned it. Once. Briefly.'

'But I heard it.'

'Then it hardly counts as complaining,' said Severus in an offended tone. 'And I still have savings. You don't need to go around asking random people for a job for me. I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself.'

'I didn't go around asking random people, I just asked one specific person. Here.' She put a piece of parchment on the table in front of him. 'Think about it. You'd work from home, part-time.'

Severus looked at her with discontent.

'What, it's already humiliating that you live in my house and now I'm getting you a job?' said Ariana mockingly.

Severus' silence told her she wasn't wrong.

'Would it be so better if you told your potential employers "Hi, I'm Severus Snape, you may know me as the villainous killer of Albus Dumbledore"? Look, I do understand that you hate not being in control. I've just wanted to help you.'

Severus was sulking for a while.

'That healer,' he said eventually. 'What does he owe you? You've never told me what you were doing last year.'

'At first I lived with Aberforth. Then in September, after the Ministry had fallen, I made contact with Percy Weasley, do you remember him?'

'Percy… Ah, the Head Boy, the least annoying one. Didn't he cut off contact with his family and side with the Ministry?'

'Yes, he did,' replied Ariana. 'But when the Ministry began to persecute the Muggle-borns, he was devastated. He could've been stupid, but he was no Death Eater. However, he felt guilty about his whole family situation and he held an advantageous position in the Ministry, so he agreed to become our spy. He would give Aberforth information about the Muggle-borns, Aberforth would gave them fake identities thanks to his contacts in the criminal world—'

'Aberforth knows criminals?'

'Is it that surprising? Anyway, then I moved to Andromeda Tonks' home and Dora, Remus and I tried to help the Muggle-borns escape or hide. I helped some of them escape from Azkaban. And I was on the Potterwatch a few times!'

'I heard it,' said Severus quietly. 'I thought you hated me.'

'Why? What did I say?'

'That even your best friend could turn out to be a Death Eater.'

'Oh. I'm sorry,' said Ariana tenderly. 'Actually, I was worried about you. I wished I could visit you, but it would've been too dangerous.'

'Obviously.' Severus smiled at her slightly and her heart skipped a beat. It had been a long time since she had seen him somewhat happy.

— October 1998 —

Severus was in the kitchen, reading a long interview with Harry Potter in the Daily Prophet.

'Do I understand correctly that both Potter and the Dark Lord had wands made of, er, your feathers?' he asked, a little surprised.

'That's right', replied Ariana.

Severus glanced at her. She was sitting at the table, crocheting.

'That's weird,' he said.

'That Tom Riddle was using my magic to kill people?'

'No. Well, yes, but I've thought about you being a channel for other people's magic.'

'It's fascinating, isn't it? I can't cast a single spell myself, yet others may use my magic to do it,' said Ariana.

'Indeed. Does it bother you that it was him who got your wand?'

'Frankly speaking, yes, a little. But it's quite fitting, isn't it? These weren't just phoenix feathers, I'm sure me being an Obscurial also played a part. Both wands chose deeply troubled orphans. Intriguing.'

'Describing the Dark Lord as a troubled orphan sounds like blasphemy,' said Severus.

'But this was who he was when he bought the wand. I remember him, he was just a child. Maybe if his life in the orphanage hadn't been so sad and lonely, he would've grown to be a normal man.'

'I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that you are so old that you actually witnessed the Dark Lord as a student. And Grindelwald. Why did you decide to turn into a human again after so many years?'

'It was a spontaneous decision, to be honest,' replied Ariana. 'It was June 1976. I was alone in the office as Albus was busy talking to all the important wizards and witches that had come to Hogwarts because of the final exams. It was a lovely day and I was enjoying that peaceful time alone when I heard some screams outside. I wasn't sure what was going on. I heard a boy threatening to, begging your pardon, take off someone's pants. I felt so sad that nothing ever changed, the same violence over and over again. I felt like the young girl I had been a long time ago. And I turned into her for the first time in many, many years. Albus was absolutely shocked when he came back to the office.'

Severus looked at the newspaper, feeling a flush suffusing his cheeks. He knew exactly what she was talking about. Unknowingly to her, she had witnessed his humiliation and unforgivable behavior.

'Are you alright?' she asked.

'Yes. I just… It was me. Being attacked, I mean.'

'I'm sorry.'

'Don't be,' said Severus bitterly. 'I called my only friend a "Mudblood" during the incident. I was really awful back then. You would've hated me.'

'You do remember that Albus wanted to subjugate Muggles and almost killed me in a duel?'

'Nevertheless I was terrible and it was a terrible day.'

'There was one good thing about it though,' said Ariana. 'If it didn't happen, I would still be just a phoenix and we would've never met. And I'm glad we did.'

— December 1998 —

Severus was reading in the living room when he heard the familiar beating of wings. He got up and walked into the hallway. Having waited for a while, he grew concerned, so he went out on the porch.

It was still quite early, but it was already getting dark. The black silhouettes of trees looked rather unsettling. There was one thing shining slightly in the dark—a fiery phoenix sitting on the porch railing.

'Is everything all right?' asked Severus.

The phoenix moved a bit but didn't react.

'Come inside, it's very cold. But you can't really feel it right now, can you.' He stood still for a while, not sure what to do. 'I truly hope I'm not talking to some random phoenix. Well, I'm freezing, so I'm going inside. I'll make tea.'

He went to the kitchen and waited for some time before he heard the sound of a closing door. He walked into the living room and saw Ariana sitting on the couch, looking miserable. Severus stared at her for a while, perplexed. He was gifted in many areas, but comforting people wasn't one of them.

'Is everything all right?' he repeated.

'Yes, I'm just having a bad day,' replied Ariana.

'Why?'

'I just… sometimes do. I wouldn't bother you if at Aberforth's there wasn't even worse. You can just leave me alone if you want.'

'Do you want me to leave?' asked Severus.

Ariana glanced at him.

'Why are you so nice?' she asked.

'Why wouldn't I?'

'I'm a monster. Literally. You should hate me.'

'What's gotten into you?' He came closer and hesitantly sat next to her. 'I don't hate you and you are not a monster. It's ridiculous.'

'I killed my own mother. Over nothing.'

'That was an accident! You can't blame yourself for that.'

'But I do,' said Ariana. 'If I hadn't been so weak, I would've never become an Obscurial. I would've never been able to hurt her.'

'I can't believe you're being serious. You're 113 years old, you should be wiser, don't you think? You're the kindest person I know. You're the only Obscurial who managed to survive, to thrive. If that's weak and monstrous, then I stand no chance at all.'

'Thank you, but today I just don't have enough to keep going, to keep pretending that everything is all right.'

'You don't need to pretend here,' said Severus. 'I know life is hard.'

'You don't need me to complain, you've already got enough worries.'

'So you're going to hide yours for the sake of mine?'

He shyly put his arm around her. Despite his fears, she didn't shudder or push him away but rested her head on his shoulder. His heart started beating faster and he hoped she didn't notice.

'You couldn't have been pretending all the time,' he added, trying to sound casual. 'You must've had some reason to heal, to live. What was it?'

Ariana was silent for a moment.

'I realised my mother had loved me deeply,' she said quietly. 'And that she had wanted me to live. That by giving up I didn't honour her memory.'

Severus didn't answer. He felt almost jealous: no love and forgiveness were available for him.

'Thank you.' Her whisper disturbed his miserable thoughts. He focused on her warmth instead and for a moment he felt almost peaceful.

— February 1999 —

'I've been living here for nine months now,' said Severus while they were having tea in the kitchen. 'I don't want to overstay your welcome—'

'You aren't,' replied Ariana. 'You may stay as long as you like.'

'This is your home.'

'This isn't my home, it's the house where I rest sometimes. I've never really lived here and even if you moved out, I still wouldn't. Aberforth is old and I want to spend as much time with him as possible before he dies too.'

'All the more reason I should move out,' said Severus. 'I'm disturbing your rest.'

Ariana looked at him mournfully.

'You may leave whenever you want,' she said quietly, 'but I'll miss you.'

Severus' lip curled.

'Well, you shouldn't,' he said coldly. 'This whole situation has become rather unhealthy, don't you think?'

'No, I don't. Why do you?' she asked composedly.

'You know very well why,' he growled.

'No, I don't. Can't we talk about it calmly?'

'No! I'm not calm, I'm not nice and I'm not good, if you haven't noticed.'

'I notice many things,' said Ariana. 'And I do not agree with you.'

'Then you are blind.'

'Severus, please stop this. I know what you're trying to do.'

'I'm just trying to make you realise the truth,' said Severus, becoming more dispassionate.

'And yet here you are, occluding again. What do you try to hide?'

He looked at her angrily.

'You want me to stop? Really?' he snarled.

'Yes, of course.'

'Do you realise the consequences? The only reason you find me somewhat tolerable is Occlumency. It's the only reason why I haven't lost my mind yet.'

'Or rather it's what's stopping you from confronting what happened to you and moving forward,' said Ariana.

Severus got up, walked up to the kitchen counter and after a moment he turned around to face her.

'Do you think this is as simple as in your case?' he hissed. 'You don't understand! You don't know what it's like to commit a crime, to make all the wrong choices, to truly desire someone's suffering—'

'I don't know? I DON'T KNOW?' Ariana got up too. 'Do you think the Obscurus is some sort of parasite with a mind of its own? That I never felt that terrible rage and despair that made me… Do you think that I could easily forgive myself for what I had done? Do you really think it was simple? How dare you!'

There was a heavy silence after her outburst. Severus stared at her and Ariana could see how his face was slowly changing: at first the dispassionate mask curled into anger, and then unbended into despair.

'I see it all whenever I close my eyes,' he said so quietly he was almost whispering. His black eyes started glittering. 'I can't forget. There is no forgiveness.'

Ariana made a few steps towards him.

'But it's not happening now,' she said gently. 'Right now you are here with me, in my completely ordinary kitchen. No one is dying. There—' She took his hand and interlaced her fingers with his. 'Do you feel this? This is real. Not the past.'

He didn't answer, just stood still. With her heart beating a bit too fast, she hugged him. He was standing stiffly at first, but after some time he relaxed a little and embraced her too.

After a while her heart stopped pounding and her eyes filled with tears. His warmth made her feel safe, but also reminded her of her loneliness. Of everything that happened and couldn't be undone.

They stood there together for quite a long time as neither of them tried to move away from the other. Ariana wished this moment would never end. But she knew this was his goodbye. He would leave and they would rarely see each other again. Aberforth would eventually die and she would linger on, utterly alone.

She straightened up and looked at Severus. He wasn't angry anymore, just sad, as if her touch had been more calming to him than she had expected. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and then, when he didn't protest but looked at her with the glittering eyes, she gave him another one, this time on the lips.

After a moment she moved away a little and didn't dare to look at him at first. But he said nothing and didn't let her go, so she glanced at him. He looked at her with some confusion and longing. She kissed him again, more firmly, and felt him softly kissing her back. After long seconds she stopped and smiled happily.

'I love you,' she said quietly.

'I love you too.'