PARODY 2 (23) SCHERIS ADJANI
KTAH: Well, I figured I might as well continue on with the madness.
Don Patch: Say, what are you writing about, anyway?
KTAH: YOU WEREN'T PAYING ANY ATTENTION THE WHOLE TIME?
Dita: And when are you gonna write a fanfic about me?
KTAH: Soon, Dita, very soon. Disclaimer please!
Dita: Oh, right. KTAH doesn't—
Don Patch (shoving Dita out of the way): KTAH DOESN'T OWN ANYONE FROM SCRYED!
Dita: Hey! That's not very nice!
KTAH: Oh, I found out that I ACTUALLY made a parody on episode 22! I said 24! And the title for that episode is actually Martin Zigmar, just to make that clear. Ok, START! Oh, you spell Sherrice as 'Scheris'.
Scheris: I… must find… my hot piece of man!
(FLASHBACK) (Ahem brought to you by Minute Maid Orangeade yum!)
(Scheris sits in a room by herself.)
(FLASHBACK end)
Scheris: I must find Ryuhou!
(OPENING THEME TAKES PLACE, BLADDY BLAH BLOO BLAH)
Back with Cougar and Mimori…
Cougar: Why's it black, Miss Minori?
Mimori (bashes Cougar on the head with a bat): IT'S MIMORI, DUMBASS!
Cougar: Sorry…
Mimori: Anyway, it seems the mitochondrial DNA of this toothpaste has broken down into particles of dark energy that seems to be coming from…
Mujo: Hello, Miss Kiryuu! Ya wanna… play? Ehehehehehehehehee!
Mimori: It's that dorky-looking man!
Cougar: Kujo!
Mujo: It's Mujo! Come now, Miss Kiryuu… I need a hostage so I can lure those two rodents to me!
Mimori: But you've already got Kanami!
Mujo: But… two is better than one! Aha!
Mimori: Whateva.
Cougar: I think not! You're interrupting our date!
Mimori: We're on… a date?
Cougar: Go along with it!
Mimori: Oh, right. Oh, Cougar, big daddy! Give me a ride in that sweet ride of yours, will you, you sexy piece of man meat?
(Cougar and Mujo's jaws drop)
Cougar: That was… amazing!
Mujo: Too bad it's not real!
Mimori: He saw through my acting!
Cougar: I won't let you have her! I love her and she loves me!
Mimori: No I don't.
Cougar: Oh, I see how it is!
Mujo: Enough games! (Mujo sends Cougar into the wall) Come now, Miss Kiryuu!
Cougar: Shocking First Bullet!
Mujo: Grr! Stay out of this with your pink boots, speedster! (Mujo knocks Cougar back)
Mimori: Wait! You can't!
Cougar: But I can! I have pink boots! Don't worry, I'm doing this for you! Now go find Ryuhou!
Mimori: Right! I'm coming, my sexy beast!
Mujo: Wait, where are you going? Get back here and hug me!
Cougar: She won't be doing that. And I'll tell you why… 'cuz I found the girl I've been looking for! She gives me… CULTURE! (Cougar forms the armor alter on his body)
Mujo: Culture?
Cougar: Let's go!
Mujo: You don't stand a chance against me because you're about to die!
Cougar: How did you know?
Mujo: Because you stupid idiot I can read minds!
Cougar: Oh yeah well read this! (Cougar swiftly kicks towards Mujo, but Mujo dodges with a simple sidestep) He dodged my kick?
Mujo: I'm just too fast now! Ahh! (Mujo slips on a banana peel that Cougar dropped)
Cougar: Gotcha! (Cougar lunges upward and kicks downward, but misses again)
Mujo: You're too slow!
Cougar: I'm slow? I'M FRIGGIN' SLOW? OH, NOW YOU'VE DONE IT! YOU'VE BROKEN THE SEAL OF THE SPEEDSTER! NOW YOU'RE GONNA PAY WITH THE RAPID-KILLING FINAL BULLET! (Cougar assaults onto Mujo, but Mujo jumps on top of him and hugs him tightly)
Mujo: Ok, this is just wrong!
Cougar: Hell yeah. Get offa me fagboy!
Mujo: But I want to show you something!
Cougar: Oh, come on! That's just sick!
Mujo: Not that, sicko! It's a little thing I call… the White Dove! (Mujo stabs Cougar with a white aura covered arm)
Cougar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Mujo: And another thing! I call it… the Black… uh… Thing! (Mujo stabs Cougar with a black aura arm)
Cougar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Mujo (jumps off of Cougar): How ya like them?
Cougar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Mujo: Now I'll take your alter power for my own use! (Mujo opens mouth and burps on accident) Whoops. (Mujo opens mouth again and sucks up the alter aura from Cougar)
Cougar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Mujo: Ok, you really need to stop shouting—
Cougar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Mujo: SHUTTUP!
Cougar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Mu—
Cougar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Mujo: I'm leaving!
Cougar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Back at Mujo's room…
Cougar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Mujo: You two, with the gigantic haircuts! Bring me Miss Mimori! Kill the rest with… a rock or something…
Elian #1: How about we send two gigantic robots to kill Kazuma?
Elian #2: And we send little eyeball stringey thingeys to kill Scheris?
Mujo: Excellent! Here's some Scooby Snacks! (Elian #s 1 and 2 rush for the dog treats) Aha! I'll send Black and White Man to kill Ryuhou! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Elain #2: That's… the Crystal, sir—
Mujo: No Scooby Snack for you! (Mujo whips #2s hand with… a whip)
Kanami: No, Papa Smurf… I don't wanna visit Uncle Gargamel…
Mujo: WTF?
Meanwhile, back with Kazuma…
Kazuma (an alarm goes off and plays the Mr. Roger's Neighborhood song): What the hell? (two giant robots appear) Oh, you guys wanna dance, too? Then let's dance! (Kazuma pulls out Shell Bullet and starts break dancing)
Back with Scheris…
Scheris: What the? (Stringey eyeball thingeys grow out of the walls) That wasn't there before… (one shoots mustard at her) Hey, stop that! (the other eyeballs start to shoot mustard at her as well) Ew! Gross!
Back with Mimori…
Mimori: An alarm?
(Suddenly, the wall breaks open)
Urizane: Now they're attacking us, too!
Mimori: Oh great, it's you two retards! I was hoping it was Ryuhou…
Urizane & Elian: Hm?
And what of Ryuhou…
Ryuhou: What's going on?
(the Crystal starts materializing in front of Ryuhou)
Ryuhou: Ugh! (in classic Speed Racer style again)
The Crystal: AROOGA!
Ryuhou: Things just keep smacking me in the face, don't they? (a piece of cheese smacks him, and he grabs it quickly and eats it) Mm… cheddar. I'll destroy you! Zetsuei! (Zetsuei appears and attacks the Crystal)
The Crystal: AROOGA! (shoots down Zetsuei with a lime green bazooka)
Ryuhou: What?
The Crystal: AROOGA MOOGA! (starts playing the Barney song over and over)
Ryuhou: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Cougar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Kazuma…
Kazuma: So, you guys had enough already?
Blue Robot: Sure have!
Purple Robot: You're a tough one, aren't ya?
Kazuma: You bettah believe it! I can outdance anyone in here!
Both Robots: Amazing!
Mimori, Urizane, and Elian…
Urizane: Where are you going?
Mimori: To help Ryuhou! I don't know what I can do, but I'll do it!
Urizane: But you suck at fighting!
Elian: I'll come with you! Maybe I can help?
Urizane: You suck, too!
Elian: But wouldn't this be what my father would want?
Urizane: No! And he wasn't your father, for the last friggin' time!
Mimori: Come on, guys! I'll… give you two a kiss if you come with me?
Urizane: UGH! I'D RATHER GO WITH YOU THAN GET KISSED, OGRE LIPS!
Elian: I've never been kissed before…
Urizane: No way in hell are you getting kissed by that beast!
Mimori: Ok, then, come on, you two!
Urizane & Elian: Fine then.
At the control room…
Mimori: If we destroy this doohickey, then we might make Mujo weaker than he already is!
Urizane: All right! I got just the trick! Watermelon Fist! (the room is enshrouded in watermelon pattern, and then it clears up) What? It didn't work…
Mimori: YES IT DID! IT TOOK MY CLOTHES!
Elian: So that's what a naked woman looks like!
Urizane: Elian, that is not what a nekkid lady looks like! Don't curse your eyes with it's ugliness! Look away! Hold on, I'll fix things up! Watermelon Fist! (the watermelon pattern surrounds the room again, and it goes away with Mimori dressed again)
Mimori: Perv…
Urizane: Trust me, if I wanted to see a nekkid woman, I'd get… oh I dunno really… mebbe Scheris?
Mimori: That bitch? You are a sicko…
Urizane: Hey, look! The brain thingamajig is gone!
Mujo's Room…
Mujo: Eheheheheh! I'll drain Ryuhou's power and his Power Ranger suit will be mine!
Elian #1: AGH! (his fishbowl device explodes)
Elian #2: Oof! (someone throws a rock at him AND his fishbowl device explodes)
KTAH: Don Patch! Don't throw things at the people in the story!
Don Patch: Whaddya mean? It wasn't me!
Dita: Yes it was! You threw that cheese at that guy with the green hair too!
KTAH: Ok, continue!
Don Patch: Sowwy, Momma Dita…
Mujo: What is going on? (the monitors explode)
Back with Scheris…
Cougar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Scheris: Damn, how long is this #$! tunnel?
Ryuhou: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Scheris: Ryuhou? (she runs into the room where Ryuhou is) Oh, no, it's that evil Barney song! Activate headphones! (Scheris grows headphones in her hair) Ryuhou! I'll throw you a pair! (she throws the headphones towards Ryuhou, but she sucks at throwing and it falls on an eyeball thingey)
Ryuhou: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
The Crystal: All right, that does it! THUNDER! (The Crystal shocks the crap out of Ryuhou)
Scheris: RYUHOU! (Ryuhou gets stabbed by the Black Thing arm and falls to the ground)
Don Patch: Oh, don't bother to catch the guy!
KTAH: Shuttup! (smacks D.P. with a bat)
The Crystal: PUUMBA!
Scheris: I'm coming, Ryuhou! (the eyeball thingeys grow and they shoot the crap out of her) I won't let these… cheesewiz shooting… thingeys stop me!
Back with Mujo for a second…
Mujo (summons The Crystal back to his pinky): I can't control anything without Pepsi power!
Now back to Scheris and Ryuhou…
(The eyeball thingeys burn into bacon)
Scheris: I'm coming, man meat! (runs to Ryuhou) Ryuhou! Ryuhou, wake up! (slaps Ryuhou in the face) Ryuhou! Wakey, wakey, bedhead! (steps on his crotch) RYUHOU!
(Ryuhou stays silent, hoping that she'll go away)
Mimori, Urizane, and Elian…
Mimori (her crystal explodes): Oh no! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
Urizane: WTF is up wit' you, you crazy psycho-bitch?
Mimori: It's Ryuhou… he's… he's…
Urizane: What? What's up with Ryuhou?
Back with Scheris and Ryuhou… oh and the bacon…
Scheris: Ryuhou… I won't let you die. You've saved me before…
(FLASHBACK)
Scheris: You saved me from those guys…Old Fogey: You've betrayed us, so now you're gonna stay in that room! Hardy har har!
(ceiling explodes and crushes bad men dead)
Ryuhou: It's ok, now. You're safe… you're free—OMFG IS THAT A MULLET?
Scheris: No one ever noticed that I had a mullet until that day… and then I finally cut it…(FLASHBACK END)
Cougar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! This bacon is good!
Scheris: Now it's my turn to save you… I've never told you… but… (she kisses him) I truly love you, Ryuhou…
(Scheris grows wings and a beak… oh and antlers, and the Statue of Liberty grows out of her back… and she disappears, leaving nothing but her hairpiece, her headphones, her clothes, and her book called Ryuhou Stalking Schedule)
Ryuhou: … whoa! She's finally gone! I thought she was gonna rape me or something! Ugh, she kissed me, too! (Ryuhou spits out the germs) Eww, what did she eat, a hoagie or something?
(He looks around at the stuff lying around)
Ryuhou: Oh, no! No, no, no! She didn't!
Mimori…
Mimori (the crystal grows back): Ah! He's still alive! I'm not going to be stranded as a virgin now! I can liiiivvveee!
Ryuhou…
Ryuhou: Why did she do it? She wasn't supposed to use it! I didn't mean for her to be dead! What should I do? I thought she was gonna take my body and…
(Kazuma walks into the room)
Kazuma: Crap, man, is that Scheris' clothes? So, where's the nekkid girl at?
Ryuhou: She's gone… she's… gone…
Kazuma: Oh, you mean—oh, snap! Here's what you do: cry for her! (Kazuma punches Ryuhou on the face) That's the least you could do…
Ryuhou: … I… ugh… uh… (Ryuhou starts crying dramatically) SHE'S GONE! AGHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! WHHYYYYYYYYY?
Kazuma: Whoa, whoa, that's a little bit too hard, man!
Ryuhou: AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!
Cougar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
KTAH: We'll, that's the end of that!
Dita: So… sad… I think I'm gonna cry now!
KTAH: Wha?
Don Patch: SHE'S DEAD! (starts a little funeral act that pisses KTAH off)
KTAH: ENOUGH! (whacks Don Patch in the head with a paper fan)
Dita: So, are you going to continue?
KTAH: Of course! I just need to see the next episode! I wish I had the DVDs, because that would be so much easier! We'll, see you next parody/episode!
NEXT EPISODE: THE GRAND FIGHT COMING SOON!