PARODY 3 (24): FIST
KTAH: Ah, already on the third parody. I had to watch this episode two times so I could memorize the episode!
Don Patch: Yeah, well… what about my show?
KTAH: Your show isn't on until Saturday, idiot.
Don Patch: Thanks!
KTAH: Wha?
Dita: KTAH doesn't own anyone from Scryed!
KTAH: Yeah, and I said episode 24 was called The Grand Fight. Well, it's called Fist. Ok, begin!
(Ryuhou's still crying like crazy, and Kazuma stands behind him, looking down at the ground. Flashes of his friends whom died go through his head… and then he busts some sick air)
Kazuma: Oh man! Ahahahahahahahaha!
Ryuhou: Oh, no! That's gonna reak! Ahahahahahahaha!
(BEGINNING TAKES PLACE, TOO DOO DE DOO DELEE DOO)
Meanwhile, with Mujo…
Mujo: I can't download any porn without the Pepsi power! You two, with the fro-like cuts! Fix it, fix it, FIX IT!
Elian #1 (tries to use his alter, but fails): Oh man…
Elian #2 (tries to use it also, but fails): We're #$&…
Mujo: USELESS BABOONS! (grabs them by the fro's and starts to shock the crap out of them)
Elian #1&2: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (they both explode)
Mujo: Oh, $… overloaded them. (throws them in a garbage can)
Oscar: Oh, I love tra—
Mujo (shoots Oscar with a White Dove): SHUT IT! (looks back at Kanami)
Kanami: Oh, man… that really… smells… (obviously from Ryuhou or Kazuma)
Mujo: Ew, did one of those two blow wind? Aw, gross! But… as long as I keep sending Pepsi into her brain, I am invisible!
KTAH: No, Mujo! It's invincible! INVINCIBLE!
Mujo: Oh, ok. Ahem… But… as long as I keep sending Pepsi into her brain, I am invincible! Eheheheheheheh!
Meanwhile, with Mimori, Urizane, and Elian…
Mimori: The crystal… it's back… but why did it disappear… and then reappear?
Elian: We're in!
Urizane: All right, my man! Now, show me the boobies!
Mimori: Hey, if you're online, at least search for Ryuhou and the others!
Urizane: But it took us a long time to get on!
Mimori: SEARCH FOR RYUHOU! RYUHOU! RYUHOU!
Elian: Ok, ok, hold on… (goes to Google Image Search and types in Ryuhou) Well, there's… oh, my… a naked picture of Ryuhou?
Mimori: Where? Show me, show me, SHOW ME!
Urizane: No way, bitch! If we can't see boobies, then you don't see Ryuhou in the nudies!
Elian: Oh, they're they are! Ryuhou and Kazuma are on the top floor. Ryuhou looks like he's crying (really he's laughing his ass off).
Mimori: And… what about that nerd Kazuma?
Elian: He's there, too… but he looks like he's coughing (actually, he's laughing his ass off, too)
Mimori: What about Kanami? She's a little girl!
Elian: Ok, hold on… (types Kanami in the search) Ah! Here she is! She looks like she's… fell asleep in a bathroom?
Mimori: Ok, that's good.
Urizane: Search for Scheris and Cougar, too.
Mimori: Cougar, yes, but SCHERIS? No way!
Urizane: Do it anyway.
Mimori: I hate your guts.
Elian: Ok, I'll search for Scheris… let's see… no search results for Scheris Adjani…
Urizane: W-wha?
Mimori: Good! I thought there was gonna be a nudie picture of that monster! Oh, what about Cougar?
Elian: Hold on… no search results.
Urizane: W-WH-WHAT?
Mimori: No!
Elian: It says it right on my bubble screen (actually, he spelled Straight Cougar as "Strait Coogar").
Urizane: No search results for Scheris or Cougar? THAT'S HORSESH—
KTAH: Haha, I had to include that censor! I saw the episode on AS and they cut him off in the middle of bulls—t. It was funny! Ok, sorry, back to the story!
Urizane: Stupid mutha&, &&sucking, #$licking, #! mainlanders! I'll destroy them!
Elian: You can't.
Urizane: Who says so?
Elian: I did. You know we're weak as hell and can't do crap to stop Mujo alone. We have to believe in those two…
Urizane: Whateva!
Mimori: Huh… Ryuhou's soooooo dreamy… ew, Kazuma! I'm believing in Ryuhou only!
Back with Ryuhou and Kazuma…
(they are walking down the last long ass tunnel)
Ryuhou: Do… you need some help?
Kazuma: Don't touch me, fairy-boy.
Ryuhou: …
Kazuma: Sonuvabitch.
Ryuhou: Huh?
Kazuma: Hey, why are you stopping… oh!
(the two notice Kanami)
Kazuma: KANAMI!
Mujo: So, that's this girl's name… now I don't have to call her "crazy little brat".
Kazuma: Mujo…
Ryuhou: No matter what…
Kazuma: No matter what…
Ryuhou: I will…
Kazuma: I will…
Both: DEFEAT YOU! (Shell Bullet and Zetsuei appear)
Mujo: Wondrous cheerleading skills, boys. But what if I did this? (holds a gun to his head)
Ryuhou: Oh, no!
Kazuma: So what? You just shoot yourself and then—WAIT, THEN I CAN'T DESTROY YOU!
Mujo: Correct!
(Kazuma begins walking towards Mujo)
Ryuhou: Kazuma, you dumbass!
Mujo: Don't come any closer! I will do it!
Kazuma: No you won't.
Mujo: Who says so?
Kazuma: Kanami.
Mujo: WHAT? (looks down at Kanami, who is crying)
Kazuma: She's telling me you're a moldy asshead, and you're a wuss so you won't do it.
Mujo: Hah, let's see this, then! (flicks his cigarette at Kazuma, but misses) Ack! That was supposed to set you on fire! Oh well, I'll just break you into a hundred tiny bite sized Goldfish! (Mujo summons the Crystal)
The Crystal: AROOGA!
Kazuma: It's that thing!
(The Crystal attempts to attack Kazuma, but Zetsuei grabs it and drags it outside threw the wall)
Ryuhou: I've ordered Zetsuei to take The Crystal out the window. You take care of Mujo for me, will ya? Beat the crap outta him, and don't be a weakling.
Kazuma: Who do you think you're talking to?
Ryuhou: Kazuma the Dumbass.
Kazuma: Hah. Go on, Ryuhou, Master of Douschebags. (Ryuhou throws on a Superman cape and flies out of the hole in the wall)
Mujo: He is stupid, really. You see, there was no window there. Just solid wall, eheheheheheheh!
Kazuma: Ok, Mujo, now it's you and me! Let's fight!
Mujo: F-fight? (Mujo gets scared) Did you say fight?
Kazuma: Yup.
Mujo: Well… eheheheheh… you've just made a deathwish… for that was a barbaric request! Don't fool around with my needs! I'll just defeat you, suck up your Alter power, and then flush you down the toilet!
Kazuma: I'd like to see you try to fit me in there! (Kazuma launches himself in the air)
Mujo (like a gay guy): Ooh! (Mujo jumps towards Kazuma and attacks him, causing a shockwave to occur)
Kazuma: UUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!
Mujo: Where in your ass has your power gone? You were much stronger than this but now you are weak and I have learned how to use the bathroom and I have the POWAH!
Kazuma: AGH!
Mujo: I've had enough fighting even though we just started so I'll just eat your Alter power! ABSORPTION!
Kazuma: Ah-AGHHH!
Meanwhile, on the rooftop with Ryuhou…
The Crystal: AROOGA!
Ryuhou: Ugh!
(Zetsuei whacks The Crystal with its tail while The Crystal shoots bubbles at its face, making it cry)
Ryuhou: Ugh!
The Crystal: AROOGA!
Ryuhou: Scheris… help me… it seems that kiss you gave me is fading away…
The Crystal (summons drill arms and heads for Zetsuei): AROOGA!
Ryuhou: I might be crazy…
Kazuma: You are—AGH! (gets dragged back inside by Mujo)
(Zetsuei prepares Chicken Tenderfists and heads for The Crystal)
Ryuhou: But…
(Zetsuei cuts The Crystal's leg and fiery hair off)
Ryuhou: I'M NOT GOING TO QUIT! EVEN IF I HAVE TO RESTART THE GAME!
Mujo: WTF—AGH! (gets dragged back inside by Kazuma)
Back inside with Kazuma and Mujo…
Kanami: Kazukun… marry… me…
Kazuma (falls to the ground): Ow!
Mujo: You hardly have any Alter power left to eat! I'm still hungry…
Kazuma: I… fell… and hurt… my tummy…
Mujo: Eheheheheheheh… (grows White Dove and Black Thing)
Kazuma: Ah!
Mujo: I grow tired of you and your stupid dead eye! I'll let the mittens I created from the Crystal deal with you! Which one: white or black, vanilla or chocolate, which flavor do you want to be killed by?
Kazuma: They both sound… so good…
Mujo: All right, then I'll choose both! Here's… WHITE DOVE!
Kazuma (gets shocked by Vanilla ice cream): AGHHHHH!
Mujo: And… BLACK THING!
Kazuma (gets shocked by both flavors): AGHHHHH!
Kanami: Erm…
Kazuma: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Kanami: Stop it… faggot…
Mujo: WTF? Oh, well!
Kazuma: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Cougar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Kazuma: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Back with Ryuhou…
The Crystal (growing his lost limbs back): HWOOOO…
The Crystal (again): HWOOOO…
(Zetsuei lies on the ground)
Ryuhou: Oh, man… I shouldn't have eaten that—BLAUUUUGGGGHHHHH! (throws up all over his hand and throws up a waterfall, which drips down the hole to the inside)
Mujo: EW! Gross, man!
Ryuhou: Oh, great! Now I got puke on my hands!
Back with Mimori, Urizane, and Elian in a random room of spikes and pillars…
(they're running away from falling debris)
Urizane: Hurry! They must've started something rough up there!
(Mimori, Elian, AND Urizane trip over the same crack on the ground simultaneously)
Elian: Oof!
Mimori: Elian, get your hands off my ass!
Urizane: What are the chances of that?
(a pillar starts to fall towards them)
All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Urizane: WHY'D I LEAVE MY WATERMELONS IN THE CONTROL ROOM?
(suddenly, Cougar's car breaks the pillar in half, but the top half still crashes on Elian)
Urizane: Oh, crap! You ok, little guy?
Elian: I'm a lil' teapot… short and… ugh… (Elian faints)
Urizane: He'll be all right.
Mimori: Cougar?
(the car door opens up, and a jazz band runs out of it and plays dramatic jazz music to show that Cougar is not in the car before a boulder crushes the band)
Urizane: They'll be all right.
(Cougar stands on a platform high above)
Cougar: Heh. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (a rock knocks on his head)
Meanwhile, with Kazuma and Mujo…
Kazuma: Don't think you've defeated me yet!
Mujo: I wasn't. (shoots milk duds at Kazuma)
Kazuma: Ugh! How dare you make me look like a dumbass in front of Kanami!
Ryuhou: You are—oof! (The Crystal drags him back on the roof)
Kazuma: I'm tired of you and your geeky glasses! I've had a looooong night! (summons Shell Bullet) Ugh!
Mujo: Heh. You can barely stay awake. You shouldn't stay up watching Adult Swim all night.
Kazuma: Ugggghhhh… (Kazuma blows wind) SHUT UP! (Kazuma summons another Shell Bullet arm)
Mujo: Eh? Ooh, that stinks!
Kazuma: RAH! (starts punching at Mujo, but misses)
Mujo (in a gay voice): Ooh! (punches Kazuma in the face)
Kazuma: ACK!
Mujo: Impressive, you use the power of the Pepsi so well… I think I'll eat it! ABSORPTION! (starts to suck up Kazuma's Alter power)
Kazuma: Oh, no you didn't! Now you gonna get it! (Kazuma starts glowing)
Mujo: What is that?
Kazuma: It's my glowey power! Now see if you can handle this!
BREAK IT DOWN!
Up on the rooftop, Ryuhou, there lies Zetsuei, without his claws, there stands the Crystal, white and black, up in the sky flies a Scooby Snack! Ryuhou! Where's Mujo? Ryuhou! Who really knows? Up on the rooftop, click, click, click! Inside and out with ol' St.—
Dita: KTAH!
KTAH: What?
Dita: You just threw a Christmas song parody in there!
KTAH: Oh, sorry, got carried away.
Back with Ryuhou…
(Zetsuei lies on the ground and Ryuhou rolls not too far away as the Crystal walks towards them)
Ryuhou: … (a scene of Kanami flashes in his head) K-Kanami? WTF?
Kazuma: I don't need anything anymore! I don't care!
Ryuhou: WTF is going on… wait… of course… heh… all this time I've been trying to protect myself…
The Crystal: AROOGA! (TRANSLATION: WTF is he talking to?)
Ryuhou: I don't need anything anymore! I don't care what happens!
Kazuma: Hey, you stole my line!
Ryuhou (reaches into his pocket and pulls out a piece of gum and throws it in his mouth) Ooh… (puckers up his lips) sour… (reaches into his pocket again and grab's Scheris' hairpin) WTF how did this get in there? Oh, well… Scheris… did you feel the same?
Kazuma: You're both copying off of me!
Ryuhou (throws the hairpin in the air): BIG O! SHOWTIME!
(Zetsuei swirls around Ryuhou and Ryuhou transforms into…)
Ryuhou: I am the Ryuhou Ranger! (poses)
The Crystal (tries to touch the Alter air and gets shocked): Ow! Sonuvabitch!
Ryuhou: I WILL DEFEAT YOU!
Back with Kazuma…
Kazuma: RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Mujo: How long can this last? How long! I'm gonna miss InuYasha!
Kazuma: RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Mujo: I can't eat his power! Oh, no! (grows a hunchback) AHH! My Black Thing! (Kazuma deflects and grows Shell Bullet leg) Eh? Ok, then my White Dove! (Kazuma deflects and grows Shell Bullet leg) AHH! You can't do that! It's not in the rules!
Kazuma: YES I CAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! (blows Mujo away)
Mujo: Why can't I eat it? What about my power from the other side… oh… just who the hell is this guy—
Cougar: That's Kazuya, the Shell Bullet…
Mujo: ACK! Don't scare me like that you buffoon! Wait… COUGAR? How did you--?
Cougar: Don't you know? I can run faster than a turtle! Hey, Kazuya, why don't I get these kids outta here so you don't blow them up? Then you can beat the crap outta Mujo for me.
Kazuma: DON'T THINK YOU CAN BOSS ME AROUND AT A TIME LIKE THIS!
Cougar (gives a funny glare): C'mon, brutha from anotha mutha, do me this one last favor… or I'll come over there and give ya a noogie!
Kazuma: Ok! Ok!
Cougar: Up, up, and awaaaaaaaay! (Cougar hovers out of the room)
Mujo: Well, well, he saved his pink boots from utter destruction!
Kazuma: See ya later, whoever you are… wait! He got my name wrong! Oh, yeah… where was I? OH, YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF YELLING MY ASS OFF! (forms the last level of Shell Bullet)
Mujo: No, it can't be!
Kazuma: That's right! When I am in this form, I call myself… Thundercat Kazuma! (poses)
Mujo: Don't be so cocky!
Kazuma: RAH!
Ryuhou…
Ryuhou: I don't need anything anymore…
The Crystal: AROOGA! (TRANSLATION: You said that already…)
Ryuhou: No, nothing! (dodges The Crystal's attacks) Argh! (pulls out purple diamond blades) Now! (slashes one of the Crystal's arms off)
The Crystal: AROOGA!
Ryuhou: Too slow! (slashes off the other arm)
The Crystal: BOOGA!
Zigmar: What you saw was not a native alter, but a real life—Ryuhou: You're dead, old man, so shuttup! I don't even care anyway!
Kazuma and Mujo…
Mujo: Hiyah! (uses both flavors at the same time)
Kazuma: RAHHHHH! (spins in the air…) WHEEEE! (… shoots forward…) RAH! (… and punches Mujo directly in the nose!)
Mujo: OOOOOF!
Kazuma: MUJOOOOOOOOO! (sends him flying into the other side)
Mujo: SAVE THE NUTRI-GRAIN BAAAAAAR! (disappears into the pretty raibowy colors of the other side)
(the building has random explosions around it, and a line of light shines from the lighthouse in the center)
Ryuhou…
Ryuhou: I'll stab you down to size! (shanks The Crystal, splitting it in half and causing it to squeal)
(another set of random explosions and another line of light from the lighthouse)
Mimori, Urizane, and Elian…
Urizane: Look at that light…
Elian: It's perty!
Mimori (having a daydream about her and Ryuhou): Ooh…
(the Cougar mobile passes right by the children)
Urizane: What the? HEY, YOU BITCH! YOU JUST PASSED THE KIDS!
Mimori: Huh? (goes in reverse)
Ryuhou…
Ryuhou (has flashes of important people to him… plus a nekkid flash of Scheris and Mimori… before punching the Crystal into the other side): Now go… I don't wanna see your face around my turf anymo', is that clear?
The Crystal: WHOOOOO… (disappears)
Ryuhou: Whew, finally that bitch is gone! Woohoo!
Kazuma: Huh… huh…
(Ryuhou parachutes down from the hole and lands really hard on the floor)
Kazuma: WTF?
Ryuhou: Ow! What the hell? This parachute didn't break the fall at all!
Kazuma: Dumbass.
Ryuhou: Where's the girl at?
Kazuma: Some guy with pink booties carried her and these afro kids outside so they wouldn't blow up…
Ryuhou: Cougar…
Kazuma: AND HE GOT MY NAME WRONG!
(Loud explosion, a light, and a deformed worm/Mujo crawl out of the other side)
Mujo: THIS ISN'T OVER, MYSTERY INC.! NOT BY A LONG SHOT! I HAVE FINALLY ACQUIRED ALL THE FOOD I NEEDED FOR ALL THESE YEARS! I AM HUNGRY NO MORE! NOW, FEEL THE POWER! AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
(Mujo shoots rainbows out of his back)
Mimori…
Mimori: WTF?
Mujo…
Mujo: AHAHAHA! HOW DO YOU LIKE MY POWER? OH, WAIT YOU CAN'T ANSWER ME 'CUZ YOU'RE BOTH DEAD! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE I WAS BORN… I'M FUUUULL!
(dust blows away and Thundercat Kazuma and Ryuhou Ranger emerge)
Mujo: IMPOSSIBLE! MY LITTLE PONY IS--!
Kazuma: You're really chunky, y'know that?
Ryuhou: Whether no one has fed you or not doesn't make a difference to us.
Mujo: MY POWER! WHY DOESN'T IT WORK ON YOU?
Ryuhou: Care to take him out?
Kazuma: I was going to anyway!
Ryuhou: That's not fair, jackass!
Kazuma: I'm going to destroy him 'cuz this chunky piece of & has really pissed me off now!
Mujo: DIIIIIIE! (shoots rainbows at him)
Kazuma: Nice try.
Mujo: DON'T COME NEAR ME! IF YOU USE ANYMORE PEPSI POWER, YOU'LL BE DESTROYED!
Kazuma: I don't care!
Mujo: THINK OF ALL THE THINGS YOU'LL MISS! YOU'LL BE A VIRGIN! A VIIIIRRRRGGGGIIIIN!
Kazuma: Say goodnight, sweet baby…
Mujo: NO! PLEASE!
Kazuma: RAH! (punches Mujo in the face very hard, causing him to cry)
Mujo: PLEASE! STOP IT!
Kazuma: You wanna know something unique about me?
Mujo: N-NO!
Kazuma: It's something that you'd die to hear…
Ryuhou: Oh, boy… (plugs nose up)
Mujo: STAY A-AWAY!
Kazuma: HERE IT IS! MY OWN, PROUD FIST! (punches Mujo right in the eyeball, causing him to start disintegrating)
Mujo: MY PONY! NO, PLEASE! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Mujo explodes)
Ryuhou: Whew, for a second I thought you were gonna bust wind or something…
Kazuma: I think it's gone… huh, huh, huh…
Ryuhou: Huh… eh… ugh…
(the room suddenly starts disintegrating into the other side)
Kazuma: WTF?
Ryuhou: HUH?
(the building starts melting)
Mimori, Urizane, Elian, Kanami, and the other two Elians…
Mimori: Oh snap!
Kanami: Unh…
KTAH: That's the end of that episode!
Dita: Say, where did Mr. Starry go?
Don Patch: Mujo died… so sad… (cries a river)
KTAH: Oh, come on! He might not be dead, after all anyway!
Dita: So, are you gonna continue?
KTAH: Of course, but I gotta wait a whole weekend until it's another episode… mebbe I can watch the special night of AS on Saturday…
Don Patch: Ooh! And my show?
KTAH: Yup. Well, folks, see you all on Monday! (hopefully)
NEXT EPISODE/PARODY: EPISODE 25 NATIVE COMING SOON!