Disclaimer: Maria-sama ga Miteru and all characters therein belong to Konno Oyuki, Nagasawa Satoru, Shuueisha, and Geneon Entertainment. I'm just borrowing them for nefarious (but nonprofit!) purposes.
Fifth set of drabbles: crack/parody drabbles.

Speech
"I have a dream," Youko began, rising to loom above the august body, her voice taking on the cadence of one who thinks she has something terribly impressive to say, "I have a dream that someday, the Rose Mansion will be full of life and laughter, a gathering place for plebeian and Yamayurikai member alike. I have a dream," her voice gained intensity, rising nearly to fever pitch, "that Roses will join hands with common students, that Boutons-"

Sei yawned.

Within seconds, there was a pile of ash where she had been sitting.

"Shall I continue?"

There were no objections.

Roses of Depravity
Lillian Girls' Academy is a place of innocence and purity. It is a garden in which dwells the most precious kind of flower: the young girl. Set apart from men, these girls live lives of chastity and spirituality.

So Fukuzawa Yumi believed... until she was inducted into a sorority of a most sordid sort, a den of wickedness known as... the Yamayurikai. Within this sinful society, she found predators of the worst kind: those that target young girls to fulfill their perverted desires, not satisfied until they have created monsters equal to themselves.

Yes, Yumi was to become... a Rose.

Satisfaction Guaranteed
"Satisfaction guaranteed."

Those two words had changed Yumi's life more than she had ever dreamed possible.

She'd entered the high school division of Lillian expecting to lead, well, a fairly normal high school life, but what she'd found there defied even the most twisted of imaginations.

The unbelievable facts were thus: that Lillian High was a front for an underground, high-class prostitution ring; that the student council, the Yamayurikai, was responsible for selecting and training new recruits; and, perhaps the most unbelievable of the lot, that Yumi had been selected to join the ranks of said recruits.

It was going to be a very long year.

Composure
Sequel to Satisfaction Guaranteed.

"No matter what occurs," Rosa Chinensis en bouton lectured, "you must remain perfectly at ease. If our clients wished for jumpy, inexperienced children, they would turn elsewhere. What they seek from us are experienced, capable professionals, able to handle whatever requests they may put to us."

Yumi gulped.

Sachiko rounded on her. "Did I grant you permission to speak, Yumi?"

"No, Sachiko-sama," Yumi murmured, bowing her head.

"It is imperative that you learn composure. Never forget that."

Sachiko leaned in, putting her hand on Yumi's cheek. "Don't make me regret having chosen you, Yumi."

Yumi's heart skipped a beat.

Her Lips
Companion to Satisfaction Guaranteed and Composure.

"Your lips are one of the most important features at your disposal. As such, both their maintenance and their usage are..."

Yumi had a terrible problem. The instant Sachiko had mentioned lips, Yumi had been able to think of nothing else but Sachiko's own lips: the perfect pink color, the slight fullness in her bottom lip, the way they shaped themselves around various words... They were simply marvelous.

Any minute now, Sachiko would notice her staring. She'd see Yumi wasn't paying proper attention and make that cute little pouty frown she made every time Yumi messed up. That frown. Ooooh.