TITLE: Reflections
AUTHOR: Vid Z.
PAIRING: Harm/Jen
SPOILERS: season 7, Answered Prayers.
WARNINGS: fluffy, fluffity fluff
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc of the TV show JAG are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fic. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: this one's been sitting on my hdd for a while and I decided to finally finish it. I hope you like the result!
DEDICATED: to Lynn, who's been a constant support through these years and without whom I would've given up on writing long ago. Tnx, you're the greatest!
SUMMARY: A Harm/Jen rewrite of Answered Prayers. Because, let's face it, Answered Prayers was a Harm/Jen episode.
Feedback is very appreciated!
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3 years.
It's been 3 years since the day that changed his life.
The day he met her.
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At first he thought she was just some rebel, with a chip on her shoulder and trying to take on the world by herself.
But the more he got to know her, the more he realized how wrong he was.
Her attitude was just a result of desperation in getting her father's attention, if not approval. Her later words just confirmed that suspicion.
Her father was a Reverend who cared more about his congregation than about his own daughter.
And for that Harm immediately started hating him. Which meant a lot since Harm was not a person to fall in hate quickly.
Only the most despicable people earn the right to be hated by him.
Mostly people who thrive on hurting others or submitting them to their will and to whom goals meant more than people.
Men like Clark Palmer, his father's and his own torturers, Michael Brumby, Charlie,.. and now also Reverend Conrad Coates.
But once he found out what made her tick, she just started unfolding like a flower. A very beautiful flower, inside and out. Although she was a very beautiful woman, with deep, dark eyes and a body that turned heads and would even make the Pope question his decision to stay celibate, he found her personality much more fascinating.
And once she realized he was not just some bureaucrat, fed up with his job, just wanting to get results, but that he was someone who really cares about people and justice, she relaxed and started trusting him.
Every layer that came off, just made him want to know more.
Underneath that sarcastic, angry, young woman was a warm, loving, friendly and a fun-to-be-with person, who was much more mature than anyone her age. Wisdom gained by learning about life the hard way.
What amazed him even more was that he got to know her so well in just under a week!
But apparently he wasn't the only one getting to know the other.
Once, when they were alone, she called him Harm "Read me like a book" Rabb.
And, as he kept finding out, she really did get to know him so soon.
Which truly astounded him.
All of the women he knew, even his mother and his long time friend and most-times-partner Mac, were always complaining about how closed up, unpredictable, unapproachable and unreadable he was always being.
What was it so special about this young woman that she knew him so well after just a few days?
Meanwhile the other person who knew him better than anyone started withdrawing.
At first Harm didn't notice it, but that didn't last long. He was puzzled as to what brought on that behaviour.
He certainly hadn't said anything to upset or hurt her. True, they weren't as good a friends as they were before the whole Brumby-mess, or even before his return to flight duty, but they were trying to rebuild what they could of their close friendship.
Since Mac had had a childhood quite similar to Jen's, he tried to get her to spend some time together with Jen and him, but she refused.
Even though he and Jen spent a lot of time together during the week before Jen was to return to duty, that couldn't have been the reason for Mac's withdrawal. Could it?
Surely not. After all, Mac had no reason to be jealous.
5 years of history between him and Mac should've prevented her being jealous of whatever friendship he had with Jen.
As for something more... Mac knew he was very aware of the frat regs preventing any romantic or non-romantic sexual relationships between officers and enlisted, except for marriage that is.
He tried to talk to her, but she evaded answering and claimed that nothing was wrong. Harm didn't believe her, but he also didn't want to endanger their fragile friendship by questioning her honesty, basically calling her a liar.
Had he known what was about to happen, he would've pushed the issue.
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After the week off Jen went back on duty, if only for a short time.
During the time they spent together they've discussed her plans and wishes for the future. Jen wanted to go to College, but wasn't sure of her capabilities. Harm started to hate her father even more for causing such insecurities and such a low self-esteem in her. Harm finally convinced her that she should go for it if she wanted and that she could succeed if she set her mind to it.
After much deliberation Jen decided to get a transfer to D.C. and start College there. She had her mind set on studying Psychology.
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While Jen was on USS Gainesville awaiting transfer state-side, Harm and Mac's friendship continued to dwindle, despite Harm's efforts to keep it intact. Mac was increasingly more closed up to him and most of her interactions with Harm were just of professional nature, hardly personal anymore.
Frustrated over this situation and not knowing who to turn to, Harm started corresponding per e-mail with Jen. The choice was not made lightly, but she was the only one that felt 'right' to talk to about it. He knew he couldn't talk to either of his male friends, Keeter just wasn't serious and at the time mature enough, while Sturgis was too involved in this, being a member of the staff. Bud and Harriet were also out of the question, for that same reason and because Harm just didn't feel comfortable confiding about his friendship with Mac to them. And Cheggwidden was definitely not among those Harm would confide in, since he probably would've done something drastic.
Not long after that came Mac's transfer orders to Seattle. Since she didn't want to resign and her 20 wouldn't be over for quite a few years she acquiesced without much fuss. But she did promise Harm to stay in contact with him.
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3 weeks and one email from Mac later Jen was finally transferred to D.C. She was to start College the next school year.
Harm went to pick her up at the airport, wearing civilian clothes. While he was proud to wear the uniform, there was still more freedom in anonymity. Wearing uniform in public just brought too much unwanted attention.
He arrived at the airport a half an hour too early. The airport was moderately crowded, but he still found an empty seat near the gate Jen was to come through.
A few minutes later he started getting the uncomfortable feeling of being observed. He looked around and spotted an attractive woman looking at him with hungry eyes, as if she was famished and he was a gourmet meal. That kind of attention always made him uncomfortable. Her behaviour reminded him of a Barracuda.The woman soon started slowly moving towards him, but just then Jen's plane arrived and the passengers began coming through the gate.
Harm stood up quickly, eager to greet Jen and to get away from the woman, who was giving him the creeps.
But Jen stopped before coming through the gate because she had seen the woman trying to move in on Harm. And she also saw how uncomfortable it was making him. She made a snap decision and headed towards him.
With a joyous cry of his name she launched herself in his arms, completely surprising him. She made a show of holding him tight and glanced at the woman, giving her a clear "Back off!" look. She then released Harm and looked up at him with an impish grin. "It's okay, you're safe now, I scared off Barracuda. Who would've guessed a big guy like you needed a woman to protect him?"
Harm stared baffled at her and roared with laughter. He managed to recover after a few minutes while Jen stared at him stunned, since she didn't think what she said was that funny.
He stopped laughing and after he wiped the tears from his face he looked at Jen seriously. She was watching him nervously, unnerved at his behaviour. "What? It couldn't have been that funny."
Harm broke out in a grin, easing Jen's worry. "Actually, it was. Combined with the fact that just a few minutes before that I mentally gave her the name Barracuda, it is very funny. You're starting to freak me out, Jen, are you reading my mind or do you just know me that well?"
Jen smiled a bright smile, relieved that it wasn't something serious, but then turned thoughtful. "Reading you mind? Hardly. I think we are just that similar that we think along the same lines. Plus, something in her behaviour reminded me of a Barracuda."
Harm gave a chuckle at that "You're right, we think the same. That's the reason why I named her that way myself."
"Okay then. Do you mind if we collect my luggage and get moving? I've been in transit for a long time and I'm exhausted."
Harm turned around and headed for the baggage claim. "Yeah, no problem. I'm sorry that you're going to have to live at the BEQ for a while, but we both know you can't crash at my place."
Jen paused as Harm took her baggage. "Actually, that won't be necessary. I've found an apartment the last time I was here."
They both grimaced when they thought of the reason she was there last time.
"Where did you find one on such a short notice?" he was genuinely curious how had she managed that.
Jen shrugged and said "Some old converted warehouse near Union Station."
Harm stopped. "North of Union Station? A red, brick building?"
Jen eyed him "Yeah, how did you know?"
Harm gave a helpless shrug "Cause I live there myself. Second floor, right across the elevator. So, you're the one that's supposed to move into the empty apartment on my floor?"
Jen burst out laughing. "Well, this is certainly a coincidence. Looks like we're gonna be neighbours."
Harm groaned "I can't wait for Cheggwidden to realize that. I can just imagine his face when he'll be yelling at me."
Jen looked at him concerned. "Do you really think it could be a problem? I don't want to get you in trouble."
Harm opened the car's door for her, quickly stowed her luggage in the boot and got in the driver's seat. "Don't worry about it. We are just gonna have to be strictly by protocol on duty. But not too much so nobody will get the feeling we're overcompensating."
Jen chewed on her lower lip "Perhaps it would've been better if I found another aparment. But I've already pre-paid it for 3 months. Do you think it's gonna be trouble?"
Harm glanced at her while he was driving. "I'm not gonna lie to you, Jen. People are convicted of fraternization most of the time based solely on circumstancial evidence. But our friendship is important to me. I don't want to lose another dear friend because of the Navy.Besides, we're just neighbours, it's not like we're living together or dating." The joke fell flat and an uncomfortable silence descended on the occupants of the car.
But the silence was soon broken by their friendship and a friendly banter started, which lasted for the rest of the drive.
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Before she was to report for duty she had taken her small car out of storage. It wasn't much and it wasn't too reliable, but it was all she could afford. And she did have a neighbour that knew something about cars and their repair.
A few days later Jen reported for duty at JAG HQ.
That evening when they were still getting her settled into her apartment she told Harm that Cheggwidden had eyed her with something close to suspicion, especially after he noticed where she was living, but he said nothing. He assigned her to be his Yeoman, while training to also be a legalman.
Over the next few weeks Harm and Jen were being very careful not to make anyone think they were anything but co-workers. Their friendship was precious to them and they truly liked each other and didn't want to lose neither their friendship nor each other because of the whims of the Navy.
Harm, after having lost Mac, knew to appreciate his friendship with Jen and this unblemished, baggage-free friendship was especially important and precious.
Mac's emails were getting rarer the more time passed. The contents also became more impersonal, finally going from inquiries about him to meaningless talks about weather and prices of food and gas. Harm grieved for the loss of such an important person from his life, but there was nothing he could've done.
Bud and Harriet had each other, Sturgis had his own problems and Harm couldn't count either Cheggwidden nor Webb as friends. Cheggwidden was more of a mentor, at best of times, than a friend, simply because of the difference between their ranks and Harm and Webb were always more of reluctant allies, friendship was definitely not in their cards, since they barely managed to tolerate each other 90 of the time.
And during other 10 they just wanted to beat the other up. Well, Harm wanted to beat up Webb, since Webb knew he had no chance against the several inches taller, heavier and special forces trained Commander. He just wanted to survive the encounter, preferably with as little damage done to his face as possible. And of course he wanted to keep his teeth. He payed a lot for them.
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Jen's reasons were much simpler: she barely knew anyone and Harm's determination to get her cleared of the charges and his support at the planning and beginning her new life, won him her unending and unfailable loyalty and friendship. She also had a little case of hero worship, adoration and a crush, which is normal, considering that he was the only person since her mother had died that cared about her, much less tried to help her, much much less doing his everything to help her. That's the only reason she fell in love with him. Really.
Love or not, she knew their friendship meant everything to her and that she would never do anything to hurt him or his career. Besides, it was against the regs.
Jen knew enough about frat regs (she did a research once she became Cheggwidden's yeoman) to know that there were only 4 options that would allow anything to happen between them: her promotion to an officer (which she knew would take a few more years if she successfully completed her studies and entered OCS, but she knew that the chance of Harm meeting someone in that time was there), his demotion to enlisted (which was also extremely unlikely, practically non-existent), resignation from the Navy by one of them or, last option, marriage without prior dating (which to her was even less possible than Harm's demotion).
For anything to happen at all, there had to be feelings on both sides and those feelings had to be admitted. And she was sure there were no feelings other than platonic love for her on his part, he was still too hung up on Mac. And even if there were feelings there, he was like her. He wouldn't want to hurt her career even if he had feelings for her, which meant he would never share them with her.
Whenever she thought about it, she quickly started drowning in despair over the situation. Which is why she made a drastic decision, held to it and never thought about it again. She had to be optimistic.
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Months had passed since Jen had transferred to HQ. During this time she had grown closer to Harm than to any other man she had ever known, but they never broached the topic of something more. Jen knew that Harm had slowly moved on from Mac and it made her even more determined to stick to her plan. She also made sure he knew she was a woman, a desirable woman. Which meant wearing skirts to show off her toned legs, tight T-shirts that clung to her flat stomach and bountiful breasts and tight jeans. From his reactions she knew she was succeeding. But she didn't want anything they may start to be just about sex and lust. She wanted more. She wanted a lifetime. Like she had said to Col. Mackenzie: she wanted a good husband, a couple of kids and a career. And she knew with whom she wanted to have that.
Which is why she made the effort of spending as much time alone with him as possible. Building on their friendship, their similarities, their common tastes and traits,... They were both vegetarians, which is why she always encouraged him to try out new recipes. With their same taste in music she built on that too. She had asked him to teach her to play the guitar. They went to blues concerts together, spent time just listening to CDs and later trying to copy the artist. Harm was falling in love with her, she was sure of it and the time spent working on their friendship and a solid base for something more, meant that their relationship would be steel-solid once the time came for them to move onto the next stage.
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When she was sure the time had come, she dropped the bomb on Harm: she was retiring and going to work for civilian sector. Her enlistment was up and she found work with a law firm as their office manager. Her training as a legalman helped her a lot in getting the job. Not to mention when they heard she was the Yeoman of the Navy's JAG himself! She had also entered College and was taking evening classes in Psychology. Whether she would upon graduation try for OCS and the Navy was unsure.
Harm was at first worried that she was making a mistake, that she would later regret giving up the Navy, but eventually she managed to persuade him that this was what she wanted. She was touched by his concern and it made her even more sure she that did the right thing.
As soon as she was a civilian she started to implement the last stages of her plan. She started flirting with Harm, cautiously and subtly at first, but then increasingly more obvious. At first Harm was startled at the change in his best friend, but eventually he started responding and reciprocating her flirting.
This prompted Jen to do one final thing: she asked Harm out on a date. She surprised him with that, but he already knew she was not really a shy person and was quite outspoken and opinionated. They agreed on having a dinner at a vegetarian restaurant, but Harm insisted on paying, since he felt it was a gentlemanly thing to do and because a few days before he wanted to ask her out himself but had changed his mind.
Their date was a resounding success. Unfortunately they were seen by the Admiral and the next day Harm was called into Cheggwidden's office and questioned about their relationship and how long it's been going on. Cheggwidden was mollified to learn it had started weeks only after she was retired and not before. He stopped the questioning and wished them luck.
And so things went on. They were an amazingly compatible couple, but still had an occasional fight, like all couples do.
Them being so in tune showed once again when, after 6 months of dating, they proposed to each other. Thankfully Jen didn't buy Harm his own engagement ring, but she did buy him a ring the style of a wedding band, but in silver. She told him it was to make it clear to other women he was taken. She had witnessed too often during their friendship how many times women hit on him. She wanted to stake a public claim on him and what better way than a ring, almost identical to a wedding ring?
Since they decided against a church wedding it didn't take long to plan.
Their lifetime of happiness and love had officially started.
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Now, 3 years later Harm was reflecting on the past.
3 years ago they had met. Almost 2 years ago they had gotten married.
And today she had told him she is pregnant.
He is going to become a father.
It was a terrifying, yet exciting thought.
As he snuggled closer to his wife's back and stroked her warm, still flat belly, he decided that life was indeed very good.
And it was about to become a hell of a lot better.
THE END