Oh God! Don't kill me. I have no idea what happened, but I'm back with a vengeance, hehehehe nervous laughter go on, read and tell me how much it sucks

Warnings: Language, as usual and really lame parodies coming up ahead, you have been warned --;;;;

Whose line is it anyway?

Film, TV and Theater Style.

Drew Carey: "And after an exhaustingly long break (glares off screen), ladies and gentlemen, we're back."

The contestants are fast asleep. Jack is snoring while his head is resting on the head rest, and Norrington is sucking his thumb.

Drew Carey: "Can someone please get these people some coffee." Looks at the guys out like a rock. "Umm, make that, shots of double espressos."

After being revived from the land of the dead, the contestants rub their eyes and sit up straight.

Jack: "Oh, so the stupid author decided to get off her lazy arse and do some more writing did she?"

The wall, right at the side of Jack's head, is suddenly littered with poisoned darts.

Jack: "Eh eh eh, calm down, lass. It wasn't only me who was complainin'. All the rest of 'em were saying so too."

A tiny gun blast goes off right at Norrington's side, who proceeded to jump and squeal like a little girl, and a sword swishes right by Will's side.

Norrington: "Did anyone happen to notice that nothing happened with Mr. Stiles?"

Ryan: Smug smile.

Drew: "All right gentlemen, before there's actual bloodshed, lets move on to our next game. It's called film, theater and t.v. style."

Will, Jack and Ryan get up off their seats and go in the middle of the stage.

Drew: "Now, what I need from the audience is suggestions of movies and t.v. titles they would like to see performed."

The whole audience erupts into loud chatter. Drew takes out his pen to jot down.

Drew: "Hmm, o.k. lets see, Pirates of the Caribbean, Phantom of the Opera, Monk, Lord of the Rings, Simpsons, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and Spongebob."

Drew looks down at his paper.

Drew: "Spongebob? Oh well, if that's what the audience wants."

Ryan, Will and Jack visibly cringe.

Drew: "O.K. the scene is, Jack is trying to negotiate the whereabouts of Will with Barbossa, played by Ryan, while Elizabeth, played by Will, keeps interrupting them with her own remarks."

Will: Incredulous. "I have to play Elizabeth."

Jack: Chuckling. "Hey, better you than me, mate."

Drew: "We will start out with a regular Pirates of the Caribbean setting, and then I'll buzz in with the changes. All right, go on ahead."

Jack: getting into his character. "So, it's like this Barbossa, you want to know where a certain Turner is and I know their whereabouts. You don't even know whether that Turner is a girl or a boy."

Ryan: "Grrr….Arrgghh. You tell me where this accursed Turner is now, before I throw you in the Davey Jones' Locker."

Will: in a high voice. "Don't you dare Jack Sparrow. I love Will Turner with all my heart. You know Will Turner, who works in Mr. Brown's Smithy in Port Royal. You know the guy about yay high puts his hand in the air a little above his head, rather dashing and strapping young fellow."

Ryan: "So, it's Will Turner is it? Men! Set a course for Port Royal, we're going blacksmith hunting."

Jack: rubbing his temples in circular motions. "Stupid stupid girl. She just had to live up to her stupid natural blondeness."

Will: staring off into space pretending to brush long hair.

:Buzz:

Drew: "Phantom of the Opera"

Jack: pulling his bandana down so it covers his right eye and cheek. Sings to the tune of wandering child.

"Wandering Pirate, so lost so bony

Why do you go on this voyage?

Heeee is not innnn Port Royal

I already killed him."

Random audience girl melts away in a big gooey puddle at the beautiful tenor of Jack's deep voice.

Will: sings to the tune of Angel of Music.

"Angel of Music, please help me

I want to save my Willy.

Eeeevilll Pirate, go to hell

My hair is not used to sun."

Ryan: sings to the tune of Music of the Night.

"I don't believe you, I know you are lying

Turner is alive, otherwise you'll by dying

Bring this ship ashore

I will find him, I'm so sure

Of my powers that I know, you cannot fight.

The powers of the pirate of the night!"

Drew: Laughing his head off.

:Buzz:

Drew: "The Simpsons."

Ryan: "Why you little…choking Jack You will tell me where he is right now, or I will continue to choke you."

Jack: "Ack…..oohh….ack"

Will: nagging Marge-like voice. "Oh let go of him Barbossa, he doesn't know anything. pushes him off Jack, Ryan pretends to fly backwards and hits his head on the podium.

Ryan: "D'oh!"

:Buzz:

Drew: "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory."

Will: chewing gum. "Mr. Barbossa, if you promise me that you wouldn't harm Will, and supply me with a year's supply of gum, I'll tell you where he is at the moment."

Ryan: "Young lady, chewing gum is a very nasty habit. Here, chew this tobacco instead." Pretends to throw a box at Will.

Jack: "I may not know where Turner is, but I definitely know that he is not here in this liqueur flavored chocolate river. Uhh…..excuse me a moment." Pretends to take a dive "Mmm, Liqueur flavored chocolate river…….aarrgghuhhuhh drooling noises. Oh wait, we already did Simpsons, didn't we?"

:Buzz: "Sponge Bob"

Will: Wide opened eyes. "Hey you guys, look. I think we have already reached Port Royal Bottom. I don't think Will is going to be there. He's sooooo smart, he probably ran away. Hehehehehe Spongebob-like laughter. Audience shove fingers in their ears. One girl falls on the floor and starts twitching horribly

Drew: Hands on ears. "Will, please, stop the laughter. Our audience members are going into epileptic seizures."

Will stops the insane laughter. Audience heave a sigh of relief.

Jack: Drops his shoulder, and talks in a bored voice. "Mr. Barbossa, don't listen to Sponge-Elizabeth. When is she ever right?"

Ryan: "Don't talk that way boy. I can smell a Turner from miles away. Just like I can smell me money. We're gonna nab ourselves a Turner. We'll skin him, process him and put him in a Barbossa Patty. That should bring us some more money. Yeah, money money money money. Ahhhahahahahahaaa."

:Buzz: "Lord of the Rings"

Ryan: Pretends to bang his staff on the ground. "Bring me the Turner. He has something valuable that belongs to me."

Will: To Jack. "Well, Strider-Jack, what shall we do? We don't know where the 'one' man went to."

Jack: Gruff voice. "Well, we'll just have to make our ways into the wilds of Port Royal, and kill everything that isn't below my knee-level, or androgynously beautiful, like certain long-blonde haired elves. Looks at Will."

Will blushes furiously.

Ryan: "I must find him. My precious, my precious."

:Buzz: "Monk"

Ryan: Stands still with one hand in the air in front of him and the other hand on the side. "Hmm. Yes, I see. Turner was here last evening but he has left and hasn't returned yet."

Jack: "How do you know he was here last night?"

Ryan: "Well you see, that hammer is placed in its proper place on the wall, but notice the dark smudge at the bottom. That means that he was beating his sword with that hammer all last night."

Jack and Drew laugh hysterically. Norrington groans and rubs his hands over his face. Will blushes.

Will: "Well of course he was making swords last night. He is an excellent sword-smith and is very good with his hands."

Jack: "Yeah…..suppressed laughter…….I'll just bet he is."

This time Ryan, Jack and Drew brake down into helpless giggles.

Will: Shaking his head. "I walked right into that one, didn't I?"

:Buzz:

Drew: "All right everyone, that was amazing. 2,000 points are awarded to Mr. Will Turner, for an excellent portrayal of our dear Ms. Swan."

Will gets up and does a little bow.

Drew: "Great game everyone. We have more fun and games in store for you, so please don't change the channel, or click on the back button. We'll be right back."

TBC.

All right folks, it's that time again. It's time for the author to beg and plead for the reviews, so please have mercy. We have two more chapters left, next chapter has been written already, which is "Party Quirks" and the last chapter is called "Weird Newscaster", which is only half way done.

All right all you beautiful people, please drop a line. Oh, and one more thing, if you are not an author and your are leaving a review, please please please include your e-mail address, because I like to thank everyone individually for their kind words Until next time, bye bye.