Prologue

The blue light flashed in and out of the darkness, lighting up the area and then darkening it the next second. A couple dozen kids watched on through the force, amazed at the absolute fluidity they felt rolling off the young boy handling the light saber. Soft footsteps echoed through the hallway a few feet from the room, stopping at the doorway the old Jedi muttered a few curses and opened the door.

Twirling and jumping, completely concentrating on the task at hand the boy went through intricate steps of parrying and thrusting, his footwork in time with the movements of hand. The double edged blade switched from one hand to the other with a flick of his wrist and he faltered uncertainly as he felt a waver in the force, someone was coming. The room lit up suddenly and everyone scrambled to make their way to bed, all except for the unfortunate boy left standing in the middle of the room, his sword still raised in the strike position.

"Youngling Solo, what do you think you are doing." The master looked on solemnly. "You do realize it is already 2200 time parts."

The boy shut off his light saber, pocketing it in his robes than turned to grin at the Jedi. "'Course I do Master Kenobi," he said "I was just giving the little ones a nightlight. Some a them are scared a the dark ya know and I figured I could help… again."

The boy's Corellian accent shown through as he answered coyly, though he had spent all of 7 days on the planet that was his birth place, the toothless grin on his face faltered when he noticed the Master Jedi still staring at him. Giving an exasperated sigh, Obi-Wan waved his hand in a signal to go to bed. The eight year old walked quietly to his bed, weaving through the other children's bunk. Just as softly Han plunked down onto the bed tucking himself into the covers and burying his face in the pillow.

He fingered the light saber at his side where it always was. Han even slept with the thing, an old superstition Master Skywalker had told him would help him with his technique "… not that it isn't already perfect." He thought to himself.

The plain blue covers tightened around him as he thought of his favorite master, he was worried and desperately wished Master Skywalker would return for a visit and ease his coming fears. The trembling in the force connected with his surprising onslaught of emotions and he found himself clenching his eyes shut, trying to shut the force out. The thought of his friend not returning was filled with darkness. In that second the powerful beckoning of the dark side grasped at his fears, sensing him out like a sultry seductress. Shuffling to his side woke him from his thoughts and he lifted his head from the soft pillow.

"Hey, Han that was really cool." Ja'en, his bunkmate from above whispered.

Han Solo went to sleep with a very satisfied smile on his face.

Dressed in formal robes Han made his way over to class, some other younglings were dawdling around the entrance and off to the side Ja'en and Maout waited for him.

"Hey!" he waved to them and together they weaved their way through the crowd outside the door.

The intricate designs on the walls in the hallway signaled the age of the building, though the significance was lost on all the children. Moss clung to some parts of the building and the arched hallway gave the illusion that everything went of forever, flowing together in to one long stretch of arched stone. For some students it did. Noises filled the hallways, the whispers and giggles of children wise beyond their years.

A group of Rodian Padawans leaned against the wall, disrespecting the Jedi of Old and Han had to bite down on his tongue to keep from shouting at them. Not only were they possibly corroding the painted stories with their synthetic fabrics, but they just had to be leaning on his favorite one. Ignoring the feeling that he would never get to read those paintings again Han went through the entryway made of antique Mandalorian metal.

Walking into the room the group of three sat together, huddled in a group.

There were no desks in the classrooms only a line that separated graduates of the Jedi Academy from the learners who still attended. Normally the instructors who oversaw the academy, Master Tuljl and Master Ynick, would speak for many hours often directing the children to the holocubes placed on the ground for each lesson. Through this method they would learn the history, method and theory of the force. Han loved History the most and ignored the method and theory lessons, focusing his energy instead on daydreaming of his own ways to live as a Jedi.

The possibilities were endless and in his eight years of life the feeling of opportunity still overwhelmed every time he walked into the temple. They sat much like a congregation and listened intently, as they had done since birth. What the Force was, how it worked, the rules of using it and how special and gifted the ones on this planet were. The lessons were interesting and many children found themselves able to keep their attention on the curriculum, but when it was the only thing you had ever experienced focusing on the task seemed easy. Morals were driven into their head over and over, revolving on the mistakes of other Jedi, those taken by the dark side, all resolved in one simple sentence.

The Jedi are of the Light.

His eyes wavered from the guest speaker, Master Yoda himself, and instead directed themselves through the circular window to his right. Staring out he caught sight of a small Hoffa grab a branch and scamper off into the dense forest. His mind drifted even further delving into the forest imagining the fog surrounding him, the chirps of various exotic birds filling his ears and his light saber at his side as he made his way through the woods. He heard the howl of a Yohn to the South and quickened his pace slightly. He reached across his chest to swipe at a branch in his way, but it only swung back to hit him in the face. In an awkward moment of clumsiness, Han stumbled over something and fell, rolling down the hill until his head connected with metal.

Over him a large freighter loomed, and as strange as everything was the youngling found himself questioning none of it, just letting his actions flow with the changes in the force. Reaching to his waist he panicked when he didn't feel the familiar contact of hand with hilt. Frantically searching with his eyes, Han found the item he was looking for and with a quick reach of his hand and use of the force his light saber was safely resting in his palm. A branch cracked behind him and he whirled around, only to see the fleeing back of the sneak. Following, Han pumped his legs and with a small force push lifted himself off the ground to land in front of his target.

He blushed when he saw the person he was pursuing, a petite almost miniature girl stood in front of him, her hair braided and in disarray, with chocolate eyes that glared at him. She stopped in her running when she saw him, and he assumed it must be because he was only a kid. They stared at each other for awhile and something awoke inside Han. A feeling stirred within him and he could have sworn with all his might that he had met this girl before, but that was impossible. His heart pounded and the familiar, yet unfamiliar face filled his senses. Her hair was as soft as flower petals, and she smelled o f tranquility. He wanted to be near her, to see if all these things were true. She lifted her head and his murky mud-colored eyes met her chocolate brown. Han took one step forward.

The sound of wood meeting flesh woke him prematurely from his dream, wincing he grabbed his head in pain.

"Pay attention, you do not." He looked up through dark brown eyes only to find himself lost in the large orbs of a small green creature.

"M-master Yoda!" Han stuttered. Ja'en looked at him strangely… because Han Solo never stuttered.

"Meet my eyes, you should. Respect, must show you."

Han became cross, the awe from his eyes vanishing. He twisted his lips into an off center pout and looked away from Yoda, refusing to meet his eyes. Tears formed in his eyes as he felt the sharp slap of the cane hit his head again, still he didn't move. "Is he abusive or something, Geeez that really hurt!" Han thought to himself.

"Stubborn, are you? Yes, very stubborn." He suddenly let out a mad cackle, as if laughing at a whispered joke no one else had heard. That was when the boy dared to look up, he quirked his head to the side in confusion.

The laughing stopped just as suddenly as it had begun. "Strong in the force are you, for you a great destiny awaits, but warned you should be, always in motion is the future. Cross the line you should not, young one, remember the light." On that note the old Jedi shuffled out of the room, stopping only once to wave to the class of younglings before leaving.

"Class dismissed." the reigning instructor announced, "at 01400 we will commence dueling practices. Everyone should know the consequences of being tardy."

Han found himself staring at the teacher and thinking "What an asshole." He grinned at his language, giggling lightly and a smile broke out on his face when he thought of the council's faces if they found out he had learned that language from Master Skywalker himself. Speaking of Master Skywalker, the favored Jedi of all the youngling, he hadn't visited the temple in a long time, almost two whole months.

"Leave me alone, Karyh!" Han turned at the sound of Maout voice. In the corner he saw her being bullied by one of the older visiting Padawans. Maout long Twi'ilek horns were being roughly tugged at as she cringed in pain; her pale blue skin was slowly turning white as Padawan Karyh continued to pull. Behind a wall he saw Ja'en looking on helplessly as the bully continued his harassment.

Gripping his light saber, the boy made his way over to the dark corner, only to be interrupted in his fury by a hand placed lightly on his shoulder. A broad-shouldered form passed by him, the shadow dwarfing the small Jedi.

Strawberry blond hair drifted its way down the neck of the stranger, and with a couple of whispered murmurings the Padawan, Karyh, ran off, his face whiter than Maout. Han looked on incredulously, thinking he may have just found his new idol because of course he was mad at Master Skywalker for not visiting, so he had to find someone else to be his role model.

Turning the man stared at the boy, "So, Han, you just going to stare at me, or you gonna say hi!" Master Skywalker smiled when the boy's eyes widened in surprise. Turning to help the fallen youngling, he lifted her up by her hand. Anakin stared at the lithe wrist of the child, suddenly wondering how easily it would break, so easy….

"Umppphhhh." The Jedi tumbled to the ground as his knees collapsed out from under him and he felt a small body hooking onto his legs.

Han kept staring and staring, and then he was mad. Launching himself at the master he let out a battle cry and latched himself onto the back of Anakin's knees. They flipped over and onto the ground, the Master's face buried in a tuft of grass. Ja'en and Maout came up behind them and tugged at Han's arms, ripping him off the fallen Jedi.

Anakin sat up tugging the last bits of grass from his mouth and spitting on the ground. Wryly he thought to himself, "I can beat almost every other Jedi in existence, but I get taken down by an 8 year old youngling."

"Master, where the hell have you been, you said you would visit soon and two months isn't soon!" Han stared furiously at the Anakin his face twisted in childish anger.

Anakin laughed, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I got sent on a surprise mission to Paorta system, forgive me my young friend." In a gesture of apology, he got down on his hands and knees, bowing before the eight year old.

Han's head was twisted to the side, as if to avoid looking at the Master, but out of the corner of his eye he saw Master Skywalker kneeling and finally relented. "Okay, okay, ya don't have to bow ya know."

Dusting himself off Anakin made as if to help Han up off his feet, but instead swept him into his arms placing him on his shoulders. "How do you like it up there, now you're bigger than everyone!"

Han stumbled on his words and couldn't speak. Looking at the Master's smiling face and the grins of Maout and Ja'en as they followed after, a sudden feeling of dread overcame him and his heart tightened in fear.

"Oh, and Han…"

"Yes?"

"Watch your language."

Han woke up in the middle of the night to a trembling hand on his shoulder. He saw a pale Ja'en his blond hair sticking out every which way eyes flicking back and forth like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Ja'en put a finger to his mouth signaling Han to be quiet. Ja'en took his hand and led him across the room towards the door, slowly dodging any clothes or tools that were left out. An acrid smell reached Han's small freckled nose and he wrinkled it up in response, the smell was coming from under the door. Han watched the younger child put his ear up to the door and he mimicked Ja'en's actions and through the supple wood of the door muffled voices came waltzing in.

"Chhhh…terminate….02400… gas."

"…sure? Chhh….guilty…children."

"…Skywalker."

Their heads snapped up and they looked at the cronowatch above their heads.

02358…

02359…

02400…

The red numbers blinked on and off.

Han was the first to react, rushing to his bed he threw on his robes. Then at the top of his lungs screamed bloody murder and at the same time Men came through the door.

"Why won't they wake up?" Han screamed to himself, he grabbed Ja'en's hand and they slipped their way past the two men who were already working through their classmates.

A splatter of blood hit the floor next to their feet and Ja'en screamed in terror. Now alerted to their presence, one of the men looked up from the mutilated body of a small Gammorean Jedi and the other stopped themselves where they were knife dragged halfway through the bowels of the boy who normally slept to Han's right. He couldn't stand it, there was blood everywhere, on the walls, on the floor and the two men had only been at it for five minutes. His teeth chattered in fear as the Men walked towards.

The two boys panicked and ran outside the building. More guards waited for them outside and they split up, Han going right towards the temple and Ja'en going left where the girl dormitory lay. When he reached the temple, Han pulled at the doors. They wouldn't budge. He pulled again and again and again until his hands were scraped raw from the metal that covered the door. Tears streamed down his face and the sight inside his room flashed in his mind again.

"No, No, No, No, No." He whispered to himself over and over again, his hand at his temple pushing the power of the force through his mind, blocking out the images.

"Han…" The boy turned around to see Master Skywalker standing there.

"Master, he'll help. He's got to help, but something told him that the reason Anakin was her wasn't to help him."

For a long time, Han had noticed the slow, but steady changes in his older friend. The way his face clenched when the children talked of the council, how he became stiff and formal around almost all the older Jedi and how his features changed. It seemed he had aged twenty years in two months and the worst part was how helpless Han felt. He couldn't do a thing, and the feeling choked him as he watched the Jedi's face grow paler, cheekbones more prominent and the small scars on his face and arms turned hideous to Han's eyes instead of the honor badges they should have been.

Anakin stepped toward him light saber glowing at his side. Han saw the blood then, on the man's arms and robes and face. The startling realization came upon the boy at once

His beloved master… was dead.

"Solo, hey idiot! Run!"

Han swiveled his head to see Karyh limping out from an impasse in between two buildings. Blood was running down his left arm and right temple.

"Solo, are you listening? Run!" Karyh snarled.

Master Skywalker turned to the young Padawan, his face was impassive, innocent and deadly, as if he himself didn't know exactly what he was doing.

Han ran hard, too scared to question anything. Secretly, he was glad Karyh had ordered him to do something because he was too confused to do anything but listen. Ironic, Han thought to himself. Just earlier today it had been, Master… no, not master, Anakin, master was a title reserved for good people, who had saved Maout from Padawan Karyh, now the situations were reversed.

Going in the direction Ja'en had gone Han pumped his legs, and turned the corner where the girl's dormitory should have been, all he found was a large bonfire. Sparks flew out and landed in his eyes. Han let out a yell, and scrambled into the bushes next to him, curling up in the fetal position he hugged his light saber to his chest like a teddy bear. Cowering in fear he whimpered in a defeated sound. In a sudden feat of bravery he forced himself to look out the bushes, the force willing him to. Two dark figures came out of the blaze, small in size they could not be any of the Men. Han ran over to them, fearing more the feeling of being alone than the risk of being killed if he were seen. His footsteps stilled when he saw who it was.

"Ja'en…Maout!" a wave of shame came upon him and he could not bring himself to step any closer to the friends he had betrayed, until Ja'en collapsed.

Rushing over, he lifted his friends head and leaned close. Ja'en's breath wavered as he spoke, "Did ya see Han… I got… her out… I was brave. Ya know I always wanted….to be brave… like you. Did I save her Han? Was… I brave?"

Han couldn't make himself look at Maout already knowing the gaping hole in her chest and blank eyes were all that would greet him. At the same time he couldn't bring himself to tell his friend the truth. The truth that they were dead, all of them dead, so Han lied, "Yeah she's fine, she's alright Ja'en, but you've got to hold on, you've go to hold on" He started to sob again, watching the life leave his friend's body. Letting Ja'en's head hit the dirt, Han ran his hand over the little boy's eyes, closing them forever.

"May the Force be with you….yeah, the Force?" Han's face scrunched up in fury, "Where the hell is the Force now!"

Thus began his chain of lies, lies to protect, lies to save, and lies to live, still lies.