Hey peeps, I know that some people were expecting a gory chapter but it's not gonna be gory, because I decided to add another chapter. Gory chapter will be after this one. I promise.

Cooking Lessons

I played with my thumbs nervously; I was waiting outside Mika's quarters, waiting to be invited in. Gavner was talking to Mika at the moment and I didn't want to make the tired senior any more crotchety.

Apparently Arra had rejected him, he had offered to be her mate and she had said no. He was in for a rough day, Mr Crepsley had vowed to beat the crap out of Mika today/tonight, ranks of the vampires be damned.

But that's off topic.

Finally, after waiting about 15 minutes Gavner popped his head round the door and muttered to me

"You can come in now Darren, but sire Ver Leth says don't touch anything."

I was kind of shocked by his manner, usually Gavner was bright and bubbly, always smiling and cracking jokes.

Now he looked down and rather sick.

I shuffled into the room to see Mika sitting behind a desk, looking quite rejected.

I sniggered quietly to myself.

"I wonder why he's feeling down" I though sarcastically.

Gavner tugged at my arm and I saw that he wanted me to sit down. I did so and addressed the prince

"Hello sire Ver Leth" I tried hard not to smile. Just as I was about to ask what we were doing about my trials I heard shouts and Gavner shrieked at Mika.

"Mika! Run he's coming, he's gonna beat then crap out of you!" Gavner was panting and trying to pull him out the room but Mika refused to budge.

"No Gavner, I will face this like a man, because I am one, but not just that, I am a vampire prince." He then suddenly turned from talking softly to yelling hysterically "I WILL NOT RUN AWAY LIKE A COWARD! I WILL FACE LARTEN CREPSLEY LIKE THE WARRIOR I AM!"

He ran out the room and almost smacked into Arra who had come to see the fight.

Mr Crepsley skidded round the corner and I saw a thought race through Arra's brain.

"STOP!" she yelled. " I have two men wanting to be my mate and I must choose one or the other. Whoever wins this fight I will choose to be my mate."

"Hold on," I shouted, "Mika is supposed to be helping me with my trial. I'm not going to get another delay am I?"

"Do not worry Darren," my mentor Larten Crepsley said to me," Mika will have plenty of time to show how to suck the blood out of cows later. Then I am sure he will be able to squeeze in a few more minutes to help you butcher them."

Oh My God.

I was hardly aware of the two men beating each up around me, even when Larten happened to rip way Mika's shirt with nails, with a big gasp from a certain, manly lady, and a certain feminine man. Of course it wasn't just the material that ripped, he left a nasty wound. Mika screamed and bit off the top part of Lartens big toe. They weren't in a good position; it looked like they were trying to give each other blowjobs.

But that's kind of off topic.

As I stood against the wall, thinking about my trial and the walk to the hall of death then Seba hobbled over to me and squeezed my shoulder.

"Come," He said mysteriously "I wish to show something to you."

I hovered a bit then decided to follow the old quartermaster. Seba led me down, deep into the tunnels, where I'd never been before. We were eventually being swallowed by darkness and whispered to Seba

"Seba, where are we going?" No answer. "Seba this isn't funny, I have a trial to prepare for!" I snapped quietly.

As I was walking around blindly I stood on something long and smooth. I ran my hand along it, only to hear a person groan.

"Seba, Seba is that you?"

"Darren?" I heard Seba say. "Stop touching that persons bone!"

I took my hand away from the smooth object straight away.

"Was that a bone, Seba?" I asked sickly. "A human bone, a dead human bone?"

"Well," Seba said slowly "I wouldn't say it was dead."

I looked at him as he lit a torch that he'd found further on. He had a strange twinkle in his eye.

Eugh.

"Um Seba, just so you know I'm not gay, okay."

I managed to get some answers out of Seba as we were walking down the tunnel; he was taking me to a place of burial for the guardians. He said I was to do something to them that I would do when I did Kurdas meal.

He also said that I should brace myself for a sickly time. I refused to move until he gave me some proper information.

So he did. In fact he told me everything.

He told me that I would have to suck all the blood out of the guardian and scrape out the guts, then peel off all the skin and chop up the tough meat. Usually vampires drink the blood and eat the guts and skin but I blatantly refused.

I then puked. And puked. And puked.

When I thought I was done puking I opened my mouth and puked again. And again. And again.

I felt like Gary off team America for god's sake.

Finally I finished puking and was fit to ask Seba something.

"Are you a cock or a pussy?" as soon as I said it I clamped a hand my around mouth, horrified.

"HOW DARE YOU!" Seba roared. "I HAVE ANSWERED ALL YOUR QUESTIONS AND PUT UP WITH YOUR MOODS AND ALL YOU DO IS ASK DISRESPECTFUL QUESTIONS!"

"Sorry Seba, I wasn't thinking straight." I said meekly.

"Too right you were not thinking straight." Seba said gruffly.

Then, smiling, Seba clapped his hands and said in a wicked voice. "Now Darren, are you ready to do some butchering?"

YAY! Sorry about delaying the gory chapter, it's next chapter, I promise. R&R.