A Telling of a REALLY Unfortunate Event and What Happened Afterwards

Summary: Ichigo is out for the week due to girl issues. So Ryou has to send in a replacement. Unfortunately, all other Intl. Ichigos are busy, and he's left with no choice but to hire American Zoey Hanson for the job! Dun dun duuuuunnnn... DUB-BASHING!

Disclaimer: I do not own Tokyo Mew Mew or Mew Mew Power. And I am unsure of when Ichigo's you-know-what really DID come around.

A/N: Everyone will be manga-aged. Meaning Ichigo, Minto, and Lettuce will be 11, Pudding will be 8, and Zakuro will be 14.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 1: Send in American Zoey Hanson!

It's a beautiful day! The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and- oh let's skip all this happy-sappy junk and cut to the chase.

"Waitress! Where's my water?"

"Coming! Could you get that, Lettuce? I'm having my tea."

"Sure! AAAACK! Pudding, that's dangerous"

"Wheeeeee na no da! Plate spinning!"

"Ahh, I don't get paid enough for this job, especially when I have to work with four screeching little girls."

For the one who is deaf, these are the typical sounds that would come from Café Mew Mew. Yup, dare I say it, but it was just another normal day. Except for the fact that Ichigo was absent, but let's take our time, eh?

"OK, girls! I need you all in the basement."

That was none other than Ryou Shirogane, the dashingly handsome (but not hot) boss of the girls. Almost immediately, all four little girls put down whatever it was that they were doing and scampered downstairs to the basement.

"Girls, we're in a dire situation," Ryou said in a dead-serious tone.

A gasp went through the four wide-eyed girls.

Ryou laughed. "You girls would believe anything. Well, the situation really isn't that dire. All that's really happened is that I've let Ichigo take the week off because... uhh... she had her first... umm... well, she started her..." He paused for a second, trying to figure out the best way to word this.

Zakuro giggled uncontrollably. Being the oldest, she could never quite understand why people felt so embarrassed to talk about such things.

"What are you laughing about, Zakuro-onee-chan?" Pudding asked the giggling purple-haired girl.

Minto, on the other hand, had sprouted a HUGE popped vein on her head. "It's not fair..." she muttered under her breath. "It's not fair that Ichigo gets to have hers before me... I'm ten times more mature than that stupid boor..."

Lettuce sweatdropped. "It's OK, Minto-san," she reassured the enraged navy-haired girl. "I haven't had mine yet either."

"Had what?" Pudding questioned no one in particular. Then she turned to Lettuce. "Lettuce-onee-chan, you're smart and you're nice. What are you talking about na no da?"

Lettuce sweatdropped again. "Pudding-san, we'll tell you when you're older..."

Pudding popped a vein. "NO! TELL ME NOW NA NO DA!"

Ryou sighed. He had learned his lesson. Never again would he underestimate 11-year-old girls.

Zakuro was the first to snap back to biz. "Well, the important thing now is that Ichigo isn't here," she began. "So, what are we going to do?"

The blonde boy mentally sang Hallelujah. "Well, I tried to hire in a new replacement from the International TMM Dub-clone Committee," he started. By now, the other four girls had become quiet. "My first pick," he continued, "was Chinese Xiao-Mei. But she was busy. So then I tried Italian Strawberry, Portuguese Zoey, and Spanish Zoey, but all of them were unavailable. So I was left with no choice. I had to hire..."

A rush of dramatic music flooded the room.

"American Zoey Hanson!"

As if on cue, the double doors to the basement instantly slammed open with a loud bang. A crimson-haired girl who looked exactly like Ichigo strolled into the room. She strutted right up to Ryou and complained in a voice fit for a preppy cheerleader: "Look what you've done to me! You and your stupid language-switchy thing! I can't stand talking in Japanese!"

The four young girls gaped in awe. THIS is our new teammate?

Minto spoke up first. "Who are you and what do you have against the Japanese language?" she demanded the disgraceful girl.

"Well," the American Ichigo-dub-clone began, "I'm Zoey Hanson, and I'm your replacement for this...Ichigo...person."

"Ichigo-onee-chan's name is much prettier than 'Zoey Hanson' na no da," Pudding muttered under her breath.

Lettuce, who had been deep in thought ever since Zoey walked into the room, raised her hand in the air. "Shirogane-san, if Ichigo-san has an American dub-clone, do the rest of us have one too?"

Ryou smiled at the green-haired girl. "That's a good question, Lettuce. Yes, you all have American dub-clones, as well as Chinese, Italian, Korean, Spanish, Portuguese, German, and Dutch dub-clones." Then he muttered to himself: "Thank god the rest of the American dub-clones aren't here..."

Zoey was becoming impatient. "Skip the formalities, Elliot. Let's get the party started!"

Ryou slapped himself on the forehead. She's calling me by my American dub-clone's name! Aaargh!

Pudding started hopping up and down cutely. "Why is Zoey-onee-chan calling you 'Elliot', na no da?"

Ryou sighed and eyeballed Zoey. "Please," he begged her, "call us by our Japanese names."

Zoey tried to copy Ichigo's famous welcome-to-the-café pose. "Whatever you say, Rii-oh!" she sang cheerfully in her annoying preppy cheerleader voice.

Poor "Rii-oh" sighed exasperatingly. We've got a looooooooonnnnnggggg week ahead of us...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How'd you like it? Review, por favor. And remember, flames will be used to boil water for my Ramen.