Chapter 13
AN: Extra long chapter, but there is still one more to come, hang in there, people! Please note, there are some scary and rather disturbing nightmares in this chapter. Maybe I should up the rating...
And of course, thanks to all my reviewers!
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Ed smiled as he read the first item on Winry's list.
1) Give the book to Ed.
He smiled a little. Typical Winry, practicality above all things.
2) Buy a watch.
Okay, that one was a bit puzzling. What did she want a watch for?
3) Explain to Envy that I never accepted money for sleeping with Ed (never slept with him, period), and thus, cannot be called his whore.
Ed went stiff, the mention of Envy's name causing the homunculus's ugly words to resound in his head again. They might have been lies, but Ed had a sinking feeling they would be making a regular reappearance in his nightmares for months to come. And Envy's implied insult to Winry simply made him more furious. How dare he call her something like that?
Ed realised the paper was crumpling in his fist, and quickly eased his grip, reading the next one.
4) Demolish the expensive and tacky room I am currently being kept in.
Ed nearly laughed. That explained why she destroyed it.
5) Learn self-defense (besides the wrench-throwing).
Another confusing one. Why did Winry want to learn self-defense...unless she wanted to have some way of protecting herself from future kidnappers...?
But the mention of the wrench reminded him he still had Winry's wrench stashed in his coat. They'd found it in the Fuhrer's office, he'd picked it up, and forgotten about it. He'd have to remember to give it to her when the tests were over.
6) Kick whatever bastard invented the hog-tie.
That one made no sense to him.
7) Learn lock picking (just in case this ever happens again).
Ed smiled again. Ever-resourceful Winry.
8) Have a big party to celebrate my escape. Possibly with alcohol, I've always wanted to try some.
A chuckle slipped past Ed's lips. Winry had always wanted to try alcohol? The mental image of Winry, roaring drunk, made him laugh loudly. Al and Wrath gave him looks that suggested they were questioning his sanity.
But the next entries were in a distinctly more sombre vein.
9) Give Den a big hug.
Ed could see sentimentality coming into play here.
10) Tell Granny I love her.
11) Give Al a big hug.
There were a few scribble marks above the final entry.
12) Tell-
The door opened, breaking Ed from his reading. He tucked the paper into his pocket as Winry stepped out of the examination room.
"How did it go?"
"Everything's fine," Winry beamed, still looking a little skittish, but distinctly happier than she had looked when she entered.
"You're okay!" Wrath yelled, catching her around the waist in an exuberant hug.
"Of course I'm okay," Winry laughed. "What did you think they were going to do to me?"
Wrath said nothing, just held her tightly. Winry patted his shoulder reassuringly.
"I'm going to get changed," she explained, gently disengaging Wrath as she picked up her clothes. "Be out in a second, and we'll go see the others."
oooooooo
In the end, everyone had been forced to accept some kind of medical attention (except Wrath and Al), and all were now gathered outside Riza's room, waiting for her to wake up. Wrath's grip tightened suddenly on Winry's hand, and she wondered what was wrong, until she saw him staring at Izumi and Seig, looking almost...shy? Was he remembering?
"Is the Colonel still in there?" Al asked, gesturing at the closed door.
Havoc, Breda, Fuery and Falman all nodded and sighed in perfect unison. Winry was unable to hold in a giggle at the sight. So perfectly synchronised, like performers.
"Dammit, isn't he done with the mushy stuff?" Ed grumbled, feeling slightly uncomfortable at the prospect of Riza and Roy.
"Language, kid," Havoc admonished. "Your lady mechanic's here."
Winry, Al, and Ed all burst into laughter.
Havoc looked rather put-out. "What's so funny?"
"Winry knows more swear words than we ever will,"Al explained.
It was true. Of all three children, Winry had been the first to learn swear words, and the first to use them. Apparently, living with a short-tempered mechanic exposed one to a lot of cursing from a very early age.
This was truly driven home to the brothers when Ed had broken his automail only three hours after she'd repaired it. When he and Al came back, Winry had let loose with a fifteen minute stream of cursing that had left both alchemists gaping like fish out of water. Al hadn't spoken for nearly an hour, he was so shocked, and Ed had made a silent vow to himself that he would never make the phrase 'cursing like a girl' sound like an insult.
Winry knew plenty of swear words – she just didn't use them as often Ed did.
Winry suddenly ceased her laughter, as though remembering something.
"Ed, you did say you'd tell me later...what happened down there?"
"Uh..." Ed stuttered, looking around for some kind of assistance. "I...ah..."
"You absorbed the Red Water into your body," Hohenheim cut in. "And it combined with the alchemical energy in your blood-"
"There's energy in my blood?" Winry repeated blankly.
Ed had a feeling this would be a very lengthly explaination.
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Riza's chest continued to rise and fall beneath the white hospital blanket, a steady, lulling rhythm that helped soothe Roy's frayed nerves. He held her hand in his, stroking his thumb across her skin, feeling the delicate bones of her hand. The warmth of her skin reassured him, told him she was still alive.
Roy had never really considered the possibility of Riza's death. Even Hughes's death – so close a reminder of their mortality – hadn't made him consider it. Oh, he'd thought about it, but only in passing. Like the sun suddenly turning to a ball of dark, cold ice, Riza's death would have brought such misery and suffering, that the concept of it always seemed distant and unrealistic. Sure, she'd had her brushes with danger, but nothing like this.
For a few moments, Roy had truly believed Riza dead. And the memory of the utter devestation that knowledge had left in it's wake still chilled him.
She could have died. She should have died, and the thought alone made him shake.
The doctors had said she was suffering from mild shock, and they wanted to keep her for observation. Exactly what they were observing, Roy couldn't be too sure.
A soft moan from the bed distracted him. Riza was stirring.
"Riza?" he breathed, gripping her hand a little tighter.
Part of him was saying that it wasn't right to be doing this – it wasn't proper...but Roy had nearly seen her die before his very eyes, proper was the last thing on his mind right now.
So when Riza's eyes opened, Roy leaned forward and softly pressed his lips to hers. The moment was so intense that he nearly staggered back, startled by the jangling sensation in his body, by the inexplicable rightness of that simple act.
His atonishment only increased when he realised she was kissing him back.
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"So I have a Philosopher's Stone in my blood...?" Winry said, eerily calm.
The explanation had taken quite a while – Wrath had already fallen asleep in Winry's lap.
"Well, yeah..." Ed said cautiously. She seemed to be taking it a little too well...
"Actually, it's basically energy," Hohenheim corrected. "The untapped alchemical energy of those who died to create the Philosopher's Stone."
"Is that why alchemy always felt so...weird?"
"What?" Ed's brow furrowed.
"Well...you know how I screamed when you guys made me that doll? When it happened...it felt so scary – like my blood was being turned inside out..."
"It hurt you?" Al squeaked.
Winry shook her head. "No...it just felt really weird..."
"The energy in your blood reacting to the transmutation, probably," Hohenheim mused.
"You seem to be taking this pretty well," Havoc pointed out.
"Trust me, after the day I've just had...nothing would surprise me," Winry muttered.
But it was a little daunting to think about. She had the energy of hundreds of deaths running through her veins...
Winry shook her head, as though to shake those morbid thoughts out of her brain. So she asked the questions that had been plaguing her for some time. "So, why is Wrath human now? And why's he so nice? And how come Riza isn't dead? And what happened to that weird lady and the other homunculi?"
"Uhh..." Ed scrambled for an answer that would make a fraction of sense.
"I believe almost everything can be explained by what happened when your hand touched the Red Water," Hohenheim cut in. "Your blood became, in effect, a living Philosopher's Stone. But there was no way for you to control it, so it simply burst out whenever there seemed a need for it. It healed Riza, and reconfigured Wrath's homunculus body to that of a human. But when Dante tried to use that power to force her soul into your body, it must have triggered some sort of reaction."
"But why did Dante and the homunculi..." Ed waved his hands, "Just sort of...blow up?"
"I think when Dante attempted the transfer, Winry must have been aware of the danger on some deep, instinctual level. Her body reacted to the threat with the only means it could – by forcing that power out. Dante was caught up in the initial reaction, and that's probably why she was destroyed."
"But what about the homunculi?" Winry couldn't help asking.
Hohenheim shrugged. "The only thing that makes sense is that the incomplete stones they carried in their bodies reacted and disintegrated them."
Winry nodded vaugely. Didn't really make sense to her, but then again, very little had made sense today.
"But what about Wrath?" Izumi couldn't help asking, staring at the creature she had made when she tried to resurrect her child. "He seems...different."
"Maybe it's because he's human now," Winry mused, almost to herself. "When he was a homunculus, he didn't seem to really remember anything about that time when you guys found him on the island and brought him home. It's like those homunculi and human memories just don't connect. So maybe now that he's human, he's starting to forget what happened when he was a homunculus."
"But he was a homunculus when we found him," Al pointed out.
Winry shrugged helplessly.
"Well, I'll buy that," Ed said. "Makes a twisted kind of sense."
Winry beamed.
"So..." Breda began, "When do you think the Colonel will come out?"
"Probably not before she wakes up," Falman snorted. "And maybe not even then."
"He'll come out when Hawkeye leaves the hospital," Fuery stated, his logic unquestionable.
Winry giggled slightly.
oooooooo
"Are you sure you'll be alright sleeping on the couch?" Winry asked, tossing Wrath a pillow and several blankets.
Wrath nodded, arranging his makeshift bed. He, Winry, Ed and Al were all crammed into the brother's dormitory – the military was unable to find lodgings for Winry and Wrath on such short notice, and all four would be forced to share living space until other arrangements could be made. Winry was taking Al's previously-unused bed in the next room, and Wrath had the couch. Al would be staying in the room with him – Winry got the feeling that the Elric brothers didn't quite trust Wrath yet.
"Goodnight," she murmured, absently patting the former homunculus on the head as she ambled into the bedroom.
With a brief glance at Ed's empty bed, Winry curled up amid the crisp blankets of the second bed. Al had never had cause to use it – he couldn't sleep.
'Poor Al,' Winry thought dismally. 'He can't sleep, or smell, or taste, or eat until Ed-'
Her thoughts ground to a halt. If she had the Philosopher's Stone in her blood...didn't that mean Ed could use her blood to get Al's body back? She nearly bolted up from the bed, but then decided against it. Ed was probably aware of that already. And as he hadn't brought it up yet, that usually meant he was brooding over it.
Oh well, she'd say something tomorrow. Winry rolled over, and closed her eyes.
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Ed yawned as he stepped into the tiny bedroom, careful not to wake Winry. He stripped down his boxers, blinking in surprise when a small square of paper fell from the pockets of his pants as he hung the garments over the end of his bed.
He picked it up, unfolded it...and gave a quiet snort of laughter. Winry's list – he'd forgotten he'd stuffed it in his pocket. His eyes scanned over it again, reaching the final article...
12) Tell Ed I love him.
For a moment, Ed could have sworn his eyes bugged out of his head. He made several inarticulate, choking sounds in the back of his throat. Winry loved him? Impossible, he was the one who...
His eyes darted to the sleeping figure in the bed opposite his, feeling a foolish grin break out on his face. She loved him back! He almost woke her up, just to say that he loved her too, but paused, his hand on her shoulder. He should really let her sleep – she'd certainly earned her rest.
But even as he lay down, pulling the blankets over him and preparing for sleep, the smile still hadn't left his face.
oooooooo
"NO!" she screamed, thrashing beneath him. But Envy was too heavy, too strong, and he held her down with ease.
He tore her shirt away easily, lowering his head to sink his teeth into her neck. Her pants were shredded in swift succession, and he laughed as she cried out, struggling against him. His hands moved down her body, slipping into her underwear, exploring the juncture of her thighs. One finger slid into her, and she sobbed in despair. It hurt so much...
Winry's eyes flew open. For a moment, she panicked at the unfamiliar surroundings, until memory returned. Her heart was pounding wildly, it's rhythm slowing as she relaxed. It had been a nightmare, nothing more.
Just a nightmare.
But Winry was tense, her nerves tightly strung. She felt spent, scared...and dirty.
She lay in the bed for several moments, trying to relax. The cringy-feeling in her gut didn't vanish, nor did the impression of uncleanliness.
She wanted a shower. Badly.
Winry wasn't stupid, she knew she displaying textbook rape trauma. She knew Envy hadn't succeeded in his attack, but she still felt the helplessness, the fear, the shame, the sense of defilement. She eased the door open, padding past the sleeping Wrath on the couch, trying not to wake him.
"Where are you going, Winry?" Al whispered.
"Bathroom," she said, trying to force casualness into her voice. "Be back soon."
In the bland, clinical white of the women's washroom, Winry splashed water on her face, trying to come to her senses.
'Get it together,' she berated herself as she tore the itchy square of gauze from her neck and threw it into the trashcan. 'It's not like he actually got anywhere!'
She ran her fingers across the bite mark, staring at it in the mirror, forcing herself to accept what it meant. 'This is the most he did, so just calm down!'
With a soft sigh, Winry washed her hands and walked back to the room.
oooooooo
"Ed!" Winry screamed, Envy's body crushing her into the mattress. "Ed, help me, please!"
He couldn't move. Why couldn't he move? They were right there in front of him and he couldn't do anything, couldn't yell, couldn't fight, couldn't stop Envy as he tore Winry's clothes from her body, a horrific leer painted across his face.
The homunculus's hands forced her legs to spread wide, holding them apart as Winry beat futilely at his shoulders, sobbing desperately.
"Ed, help," she whimpered, "Please, help me, help me, help-"
The rest of her plea was cut off by an agonised wail as Envy tore into her, brutally invading her body, violating her, raping her...
Ed shot up in his bed, the scream in his throat dying unvoiced. He didn't move for long moments, staring at the ceiling, trembling, gasping, his pulse galloping in his throat. His skin, his pillow and the sheets around him were soaked in the cold sweat of horror. He swallowed painfully, choking down the bone-deep terror still throbbing in his marrow.
'It wasn't real,' he told himself. 'It wasn't real – it never happened. Envy lied, he was just trying to mess with your head, it never happened.'
It couldn't have happened. There was no way Winry could have been so open, so cheerful, if she'd actually been...
Still, he found himself standing quietly, walking to her side. A smile tugged at his lips as he looked at her; eyes closed, face lax in sleep.
She'd kicked the blankets off, and her nightdress had ridden up, revealing her pale underwear and the swell of her right hip – the milky flesh marked with the greenish-blue of a recent bruise. Ed grimaced, automatically reaching out to pull the fabric down, but then he stopped, hand poised above her skin.
There was a scar. Small, only a few inches long, but a scar. Right where Envy said it would be.
Ed's heart rose in his throat. Trying to be as silent as possible, he sat on the bed beside her, looking closer...the bruises on her hips were finger-shaped.
'It doesn't mean anything!' his mind screamed, trying desperately to convince himself. 'It has to be coincidence, it has to be!'
But...he had to be sure.
Slowly, being careful not to wake Winry, Ed gently brushed aside the soft fall of hair that covered her neck. The gauze was gone, and he wondered what it had covered...
But then he saw it. A bite mark, beginning to scab over, the clear indents of two rows of incisors marring Winry's flesh.
Ed's lungs seemed to cave in, his breath rushing out of him in a wrenching gasp as his entire body clenched on a spasm of pure horror.
"No..." he moaned. "No...no...no..."
Ed almost collapsed on the bed. He didn't even have the strength to try and walk out of the room, to break down unobtrusively somewhere else. He knew he was going to wake Winry up, but was unable to stifle the sobs that wracked his frame.
Envy had been telling the truth. He had done it – really done it. He had raped Winry. His Winry.
The images of Ed's nightmare surged back into his brain, and now that he knew they were true they were infinitely more devastating. To think of Winry enduring something like that...bile rose in the back of his throat, and he dimly wondered if he was going to throw up.
Ed's head dropped onto his knees. He couldn't remember the last time he had cried this hard, and he could remember very few things that had hurt him this much. That one, tiny piece of knowledge trumped even automail surgery for the sheer agony it induced.
"Ed?" came a soft whisper from beside him. "Ed, what happened? Are you alright?"
The soft inquiry only made him feel worse. She was asking him if he was alright? It should be the other way around!
"Winry..." he managed to gasp out between his sobs. "I-I..."
The expression on his face chilled Winry. She'd never seen such despair, such remorse on any human visage. On instinct, she pulled herself into a sitting position, wrapping him in a tight embrace.
She half-expected him to stiffen and pull away, and was surprised when his arms encircled her, clinging to her like she was the last life-jacket on a sinking ship. Winry's stomach twisted as she felt Ed's tears on her neck. What could possible be bad enough, horrible enough, to make Ed cry?
"What's wrong?"
Ed choked, and it seemed his tears only fell faster. "Envy...he-he told me...oh, Winry, I'm sorry, I'm so s-sorry, I..."
"Ed?"
"Didn't know, I swear. If I did...would have come...would have stopped him...would have done something...I'm so sorry..."
Winry was really becoming alarmed now. Ed wasn't making any sense – so distraught he was beyond coherent speech. And she couldn't figure out what had happened to make him feel this way.
"Ed...what happened? What's wrong?"
"Envy...he told me...told me about...about..." his voice dropped so low that Winry almost didn't catch the last words. "...raping you..."
For a split second, Winry went completely stiff. Humiliation came first – the shame that Ed knew of her attack. Rage came next – at Envy for lying to Ed, for planting that horror in his mind. Finally, a great compassion swept her body – for Ed at being made to think the assault had been completed, and what that must have done to him.
Winry licked her lips, gently running her hand through Ed's hair as she spoke, "Ed...he didn't do it."
"What?" His head jerked up, his eyes crashing into hers. "But...he said..."
"Then he lied," Winry said calmly.
"But-but," Ed seemed unable to grasp the concept – the atrocity so great he could barely believe there was a light at the end of the tunnel. "The bruises...the bite..."
"He tried. But he didn't, in the end. Ed, I'm not going to lie – I'm not going to say he didn't scare me, or that I wasn't hurt," she took deep breath, and put as much honest sincerity and conviction in her voice as she could, "But I swear to you, Ed...Envy didn't rape me."
Ed was swamped with relief so great his head actually spun.
It hadn't happened.
He collapsed against the mattress as every muscle went as limp as boiled pasta, dragging Winry down with him, but utterly incapable of letting her go. Winry went willingly, needing comfort for herself as much as she was offering it to him. Ed continued to gasp for breath as though he had just run a marathon, his tears now from relief instead of horror.
Winry held him until he stopped shaking. They remained that way for a long time, lying together in the bed, their arms around each other.
"I should go back to bed," Ed murmured as his eyelids began to droop.
"Don't," Winry said fervently, "Can you stay with me? Just for tonight?"
Ed gave a tired grin, and Winry could see his exhaustion. Not so much physical, but emotional. The terrible thought of Envy defiling her, followed by the relief of the realisation it hadn't occurred, had conspired to drain him completely.
Then Ed did something completely unexpected. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead gently. Winry froze in astonishment.
"Goodnight, Winry," he whispered, his eyes closed and his breathing already beginning to even out.
Winry didn't move, blinking into the darkness, staring at Ed's lips. 'Did he just...? Does that mean...?' a slow smile spread across her face. 'Maybe there's hope after all.'
Then Winry remembered her list – her resolutions of what she would do once she was free. More specifically, she remembered the last item.
Winry took a deep breath and released it bit by bit, gathering her courage. "Ed...I have something I want to tell you."
No reply.
"Ed?"
Nothing.
She shook his shoulder, just lightly. Ed muttered something and tightened his grip on her.
He was asleep.
Winry felt both relieved and disappointed. Disappointed that after she'd finally gotten up the courage to tell him, he had to go and fall asleep. But relieved that she could put off enduring the uncertainty of a confession for a while longer.
So Winry simply yawned, snuggled into Ed's arms, and closed her eyes.
They slept that way through the remainder of the night, wrapped in each other's embrace.