Chapter 9

Orlando paced back and forth in front of Buffy as she stood in front of the table. He had gotten there ten minutes ago and found her talking with Ville. Ville had offered to stay, but Buffy had insisted that he meet up with Bam in Angel's room across the hall. Of course, she didn't tell Orlando that's where Bam was.

"This is just... I can't believe..." Orlando said, trying to remain calm. "What were you thinking?"

"Thinking? Let's see... I was thinking that I really like this guy and he really likes me and..."

"And you don't think I don't?"

Buffy looked up at him. "I know you like me. I like you too, but..."

"No. Buffy, I love you. I came here with a ring ready to be put on your finger!"

"I know, but..."
"And before I can even get in the air to come over here, I'm... bombarded by this!" He held up one of the papers and pointed at the picture of her and Angel.

"I'm sorry."

"For what? For lying to me? For sneaking around behind my back with this guy? Who is he anyway? Just another one of your 'close friends'?"

"Now what's that supposed to mean?"

"What do you think it means?"

"I'm taking it that you're implying that I've been having affairs with my best friends. How very grown up of you. I don't sleep with Ville or Bam or Justin! They're my friends. They're my brothers. And they've also been there a lot longer than you."

"And that's supposed to do what? Is it supposed to make me jealous?"
"Hasn't it already?"

"You know, I have to admit now that we're finally being honest, it's always been at the back of my mind. All your friends just happen to be guys..."

"Which means absolutely nothing! I shouldn't have to explain them to you."

"Shouldn't you?"

"No! As far as Angel goes, all you need to know is that I met him in Texas. I ran into him a couple of times and we started talking."

"And?"

"And he makes me feel..."

"Aroused?"

"Different." She said sharply. "He makes me feel different."

"And what about me? What do I make you feel?"

"I don't know anymore. I thought it was love. For a long time, I thought I loved you. But it was just me trying to live up to everyone's expectations. To the world, you and I seemed like the perfect match and so, I thought we were. I settled on the fact that you were probably going to be the one that put that ring on my finger, but then Angel came along and... I don't know. It opened my eyes and showed me that our relationship is a dead end. You and I both know that."

"I didn't know that. Not until this morning."

Buffy sighed. "I love you, Orlando. I do, but it's not the love you deserve. You deserve someone who makes you feel... Who makes you feel like you're floating twenty-four/seven. That just the thought of them can send tingles all up and down your spine..."

"How do you know you don't make me feel that way?"

"You know the cliche about how your eyes are the windows to your soul? Well, your eyes don't lie. You look at me now, I can tell we weren't meant for each other in the long run."

"And Angel?"

"I don't know how that's going to turn out. I feel that... I hope that it IS the long run. I hope that ten years from now he'll still make me feel the way I feel with him now."

"Do you love him?"

Buffy sighed. "I think maybe I do."

"Don't you think that's a little sudden?"

"I don't know. All I know is I love who I get to be with him."

"And you don't love who you are with me?"

"Stop twisting my words. I didn't say that."

"I'm reading between the lines."

"Well stop. There's nothing there between those lines. I was going to talk to you about him when you came here..."
"Yes, because that would have made it all ok."

"Oh, stop! Stop patronizing me. I've never been in this situation before. I don't know what I'm doing! I'm acting on instinct here. And my instinct told me that I couldn't let Angel get away."

"Where is he?"

"He's around."

"Can I at least meet him?"

Buffy sighed. "As long as you promise to be nice. No hitting or yelling or any of that shit."

"Not even one punch?"
"No!"

"I was joking."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "It wasn't very funny." She sighed again. "I'll be right back." Buffy left the room and went over to Angel's room. She knocked and waited.

Ville answered the door. "Are you ok?"

"He wants to meet Angel."

"Oh." Ville moved back to let her in the room.

Angel stood up, looking worried not for himself, but for Buffy. "Hey."

"He wants to meet you."

"Are you ok?"

"Been better."

"It's understandable." He followed her over to her room and waited.

Orlando stood up and watched Buffy allow Angel, Ville, and Bam into her room. "That was quick." Orlando said.

Buffy closed her eyes for a moment and took a breath. Ville, as he walked by, gently rubbed her upper arm. She smiled, opening her eyes, then she turned to Orlando. "Angel, this is Orlando. Orlando, this is Angel."

Angel, always the polite one, held out his hand. "Hello."

Orlando eyed him for a second and then took Angel's hand. "Hello."

"Listen, I'm really sorry about all of this, man."

"You have nothing to apologize for. Buffy's the one who hid it from me."

"Oh fuck off!" Buffy said. "I told you I was sorry."

"Sorry really doesn't cut it in this situation, does it?"

"What more do you want me to say? I explained how I felt and you accused me of fucking my three best friends! YOU should apologize to ME!"
"Whoa." Ville said, looking at Orlando. "That was low blow."

"Fuck yeah it was!" Bam said.

"Look, I feel bad that it came to this, but I'm not going to lie and say that I didn't push to get Buffy into my life." Angel said. "But you really shouldn't talk to her like that. She said she was sorry and you should accept it and move on or don't accept it and leave and never talk to her again. I don't know why anybody would be that foolish not to talk to her ever again, but if that's what you want, then that sucks for you. None of us are losing any sleep over it." He took Buffy's hand and stared at Orlando.

Orlando watched her for a minute and then said, "I'm on the next flight out of here. I'll call you when I process all of this. If I never process it, then have a nice life."

Buffy nodded. "Accepted." She watched as he nodded and then walked out. As soon as the door closed, she let out a breath and sat down on the table.

"He really said that he thought you'd slept with us?" Bam asked. Buffy just nodded. "Damn. Didn't think he was the type to say something that fucked up."

"You and me both." Ville said. He walked over to Buffy and slipped his arm around her shoulders. "Well, at least you're free of him now."
"I was right." Buffy said.

"About what?" Bam asked.
"He was going to propose to me. He said he had the ring with him."

"Buff, you can't feel guilty that he felt more than you." Ville said.

"He's right." Angel said, taking Buffy's hands. "It's really not your fault that your heart wasn't as in it as his was."

She smiled up at him. "I know, but it really doesn't stop me from feeling bad about it." She sighed. "Well, I was never a 'the-glass-is-half-empty' kind of girl, so... Let's go out somewhere."

"The ice bar?" Ville suggested.
"Let me call in the crew, then." Bam said. "Didn't want this part of the trip to be filmed."

Angel stood on the side of the stage and watched as April, Phil, Bam, and Buffy walked out on stage. The crowd went crazy with screaming and yelling and cat calls. April handed the michraphone to Buffy and the crowd seemed to get louder. She just smiled politely and waved, then said, "Can't say it any better... HIM!" The crowd renewed their screaming as Ville and the band took the stage. Ville and Buffy shared a hug that sent more waves of screams through the crowd before Buffy, April, Phil, and Bam joined Angel on the side of the stage. Yesterday, Buffy, Angel, Ville, Bam, Bam's friend Raab, and a guy named Ti-Ti had driven to Russia to find Raab's Russian mail-order bride. Ti-Ti had just driven them to a random bar in Russia and the waitress said the address that Bam's uncle, Don Vito, had found was in Estonia. Bam wanted Buffy and Angel to join him and Raab in Estonia, but Buffy wanted to head back with Ville to Finland. They had gone back to Finland and headed to Ruisrock where they met Phil, April, and the Dudesons. Bam had shown up an hour before the HIM show started with Raab and his Russian bride.

After the HIM show was over, Bam threw a party in his hotel room and invited his friend Kat to come with her tattoo gun. Buffy had four tattoos already: a Celtic symbol on her left hip, a Chinese symbol for integrity on the back of her neck, a heartagram with twisting vines coming out of each side and extending across the small of her back to her hips, and a heart with a dagger hanging over it on the inside of her right ankle; and she planned on adding a couple more to her list tonight. Angel had one tattoo of a winged lion, aslo known as a Gryphon, the symbol of St. Mark, holding an 'A' on his right shoulder blade. His father was a full blooded Irishman who had imigrated from Galway, Ireland in the 1950s, and Angel loved his heritage. The inspiration for the tattoo came from the Book of Kells, a Latin text of the Gospels, and some other religious material, believed to have been made by Irish monks on the Scottish island of Iona around 800A.D. Angel's grandfather was highly religious and owned a copy of the Book. Angel had been studying it one night and loved the winged lion of St. Mark, so he had copied it and had it tattooed on his back when he turned 18. As far as getting any tattoos, he wasn't sure if he wanted any.

Buffy was game, though. She let Bam and Ville take turns signing their names into the vines on her lower back. Angel had to give her credit for having some major guts letting the two of them near her with the tattoo gun. Then she got to tattoo Kat's leg with her autograph. Bam and Ville got numerous tattoos in various places, including their butt cheeks. Bam, Ville, and Buffy all had DILLIGAF tattooed on their right wrists. Buffy explained that it meant 'Do I Look Like I Give A Fuck' and that all three of them used that modo a lot in their lives. Ville got a J on his left ring finger as an engagement ring because he and his girlfriend Jonna had just gotten engaged at Ruisrock. Then Buffy went again and got her name added into the vines. Angel decided to go ahead and get one done and he drew a beautiful sketch of a celtic cross that Kat copied onto his right wrist. Buffy decided to get yet another tattoo and this time she got ice skate blades, one above the other, on her right shoulder blade.

"Can't believe I hadn't thought of that yet." She said as Kat put the finishing touches on.

"You're going to be sore tomorrow." Angel said.

Buffy shrugged with her left shoulder as Ville put plastic wrap over her right shoulder and taped it to her. "Oh well. That's what the beer is for. To make me forget about the pain elsewhere and concentrate on the pain in my head."

"Good plan." Angel said, kissing her gently.

"Let me see your tattoo." Angel held out his arm, but she shook her head. "No, the other one." Angel shrugged and pulled off his T-shirt, sitting down so Buffy could get a better look at it.

Ville wondered over with Jonna and checked out the tattoo on Angel's shoulder. "That's pretty cool, man."

"Thanks."

Buffy traced the outlines of it, memorizing the tattoo with her fingertips. "It's beautiful. What does it mean?"
"It's a Gryphon."

"A what?"

"It's more than one animal combined. I got it because to me, when I got it, I was in a form of solitude, but I was learning to be strong and stand on my own, a lot like a Gryphon. Gryphons are very courageous and very loyal. And they mate for life. Once they choose a mate, they're faithful forever, and if their mate dies, they won't take another."

Buffy blushed slightly. "That's beautiful."

Ville nodded. "Hmm. Nice symbology."

"Thanks." Angel said. He noticed Ville gently push Buffy's shoulder and smile at her. When he looked at Buffy, she just smiled and looked away.