Chapter 5

When Boone walked into the kitchen the next morning he found that Claire already was up. She was sitting by the kitchen table, her head in her hands, reading a newspaper. When he moved closer he saw that she was carefully making circles in it. His eyes rounded, afraid of what she might be doing.

Claire lifted her head, seeing him.

"Morning." Her voice sounded tired.

"Hey," Boone replied, using his favorite word.

She gave him a weak smile, not able to give him anything more.

"How are you feeling?"

He was growing worried. She didn't look so good, well she looked good but also worn out.

"I'm fine" She said, unconvincingly.

When she saw that he didn't buy it, she added ,"Didn't sleep well."

Claire had been up most of the night, trying to come to a decision if she should stay with him or not.

"Me neither." He admitted.

"Dreamt."

Boone smiled when he thought about the dream he had last night.

Claire raised her eyebrows. There was something about the way he said it that made her interested.

"Really? About what?"

He blushed a little.

"A girl," he answered, shyly.

Claire searched his face, trying to see if it was her he meant but she couldn't tell. For the millionth time since she had got there she cursed herself for thinking about him in a romantic way. She had never fallen for anyone this fast. She was careful by nature, wanting to know where things stood before she got involved but there was something about Boone that made her heart beat faster, something that made her feel safe (even when they argued) and she had a feeling that this was how it was meant to be, that destiny had brought them together. Twice.

She couldn't let anything happen between them though, not now, with a baby coming. She didn't want him to have to worry about two persons. She didn't want to screw up his life.

What Claire didn't know was that he would do anything for her. Boone knew that he had fallen head over heels for her. He silently wondered when he had fallen for her. Was it the first day on the beach when he saw her being weak or was it when she had come to him?
He didn't know. All he knew was that he wanted to hold her in his arms and never let her go.

"What are you doing?" Boone asked, pointing at the newspaper. He sipped on his (surprisingly good) coffee, which she had made.

"I'm looking for hotels. Somewhere else to stay." She tried to sound like it wasn't a big deal. They both knew that this day would come, but neither of them had expected it to come so soon.

Boones face hardened. This was what he had been afraid of. Two days and she was already planning on leaving. Perhaps he had been wrong; perhaps she didn't have any feelings for him. Hell, he might have imagined the tenderness between them. Why would she feel anything about him? What did he have to offer besides a place to stay?

Claire didn't want to do this but what other choice did she have? She couldn't stay here with him, it would be too complicated. She searched for words to explain her feelings.

"Do you know what I did earlier today?" Claire asked him. "I was snooping. I was trying to find out something about you." She sounded disgusted with herself.

Boone knew the feeling.

"It's okay."

He didn't need to say more.

Claire was devastated. How could he think that it was okay that they didn't know anything important about each other? She felt anger taking over her.

"No, it's not." Claire got up from her chair and walked around in the room. "It's wrong," she said, her voice weary.

"It's wrong," she repeated. "..That I don't know you."

There was power in her words, they were true, and both of them wished that they hadn't been.

He felt tears building up in his eyes but he fought them away, not wanting her to see his weak side.

"This isn't working, is it?" He said with a low voice in hope that it wouldn't be as true as if he had said it out louder.

She shook her head.

"No it's not. I'm pregnant Boone. If I stay here you will soon have two persons to take care of," Claire said, hoping that he would understand why she had to do this.

"Like you didn't know that before you came here!" He exploded.

He didn't want to fight but the fact that she would leave him made something click inside of him. His fear of losing her converted into anger.

Claire closed her eyes briefly. This was obviously not working out well.

"I did," she said painfully. "I didn't even plan to stay here more than one night." Claire said with a restrained voice.

He looked at her, disbelievingly.

"So why the hell did you? What screwed up your plan?" He said savagely.

He was unable to control his anger.

"You." She took a deep breath to hold back her tears.

"I'm still here aren't I?" He said, standing up quickly.

She didn't look at him.

"Look at me!" he said, annoyed.

She forced herself to do it.

"This is to complicated Boone," she sighed

"It changes everything if we live together."

He looked at her with a tortured expression.

"So you just want to leave?" He shot her a look full with hatred.

"I have to."

"Why? Can't two friends live together?"

Claire looked at him, miserably.

"Friends can. But there is something more between us," she said, saying out loud what had been growing inside of them the last days.

Boone calmed down.

"So what?" He said, his features becoming less tensed.

"We can never be more than friends, don't you see? I would destroy your life" She said sadly.

He looked at her like she was crazy.

"I won't let it happen again," she mumbled for herself.

He couldn't figure out what she was talking about. It sounded like nothing less than Chinese to him.

"Do I have something to say about this?" He said, not wanting her to go.

She shook her head, stubbornly.

"No."

She once again took her bag and begun to walk towards the door. This time determined to leave. He followed her, not believing how this had happened. He had never in his wild mind thought that she would leave today, not at this instant.

"Hey..."

She continued to walk.

"Hey!" He screamed.

She didn't turn around.

"Goodbye Boone" She whispered.

She walked out of the door, down the stairs. Boone stood like frozen. She was really leaving and he couldn't stop her.

"You owe me 600 dollars!" He screamed after her, desperately.

He didn't care about the money.

Angrily he stormed into his apartment. She was gone. He had let her go. When he woke up the next morning, she wouldn't be there.

He smashed his fist against the wall. One time, two times and then he continued to hit the wall harder and harder until his fist bleed. Weakness over took him, and he fell down against it. With his hands buried in his hair he began to cry.

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