A/N- Thank you so much to the reviewers; you make thisso much easierto write. I have a pretty good idea of where this is going now, so it should come pretty quickly if interest in the story keeps up. I love this story and I hope you do too. Please review, it helps.
I slid my card through the time clock and took off my name tag. Sighing, I began the walk through the UFO museum. Another day was done, and I still couldn't get Liz's image out of my mind. It had been almost a year, but her face was still clearer in my memory than anything I've ever known. When I dreamt of her, I could feel her essence brushing up against mine, urging me to remember that day over and over again. I'd dreamt of the night of her death many times, but she'd never spoken to me before last night.
I pushed through the double doors and onto the sidewalk outside. People walked up and down the sidewalks of downtown; life moved onward. The sun was beginning to set on the horizon, casting an orange glow on the street, the buildings stretching long shadows down the sidewalk. I forced myself to glance across the street where the outside lights of the Crashdown Café had been turned on for the evening. Inside I saw groups huddled at the tables and counter where my friends and I used to gather in a time that seemed so long ago. It was hard to remember the time when we'd been so at peace with each other. Liz and Alex's deaths shook our group, altering the sense of stability we'd built over the years. In each other we all saw their lost faces, and in our memories they stood out like brilliant lights in the dark sky. It became so hard for us to live in the present without longing for the past. Therefore we all started to detach ourselves in our own way. Pushing away the security of each other, and the friendship we'd grown to trust.
My gaze flicked to the ally beside the Crashdown where I saw her huddled, leaning against the brick wall. I saw her there almost every night taking her break in the darkness of the ally. Her blond hair fell as a curtain around her face and I watched as she lifted the cigarette to her mouth, it's tip glowing as she breathed in, the smoke flowing slowly out of her mouth as she exhaled. She wrapped her arms around herself, attempting to ward off the cold of the oncoming desert evening. Of all of us, Maria had struggled and changed the most. None of us could understand what it was like to lose your two best friends in the entire world. For awhile she'd turned to alcohol to drown her pains. Now she simply worked off her sadness in a pack a day, absorbing herself in her music and pushing away all our attempts to help.
Michael tried the hardest to pull her out of her darkness. He'd devoted himself to her, trying so hard to make her happy. When she got absorbed in the alcohol, she'd pushed him away further. Maria slowly exiled herself from us all, and even Michael can't break through anymore. He doesn't say it, but I know he watches over her from afar. I've seen him watching her walk down the halls of school and making sure she gets to her car safely at night after late shifts at the Crashdown. His connection to her had shattered in the physical sense, but he still felt more deeply for her than he would ever admit to himself or to me.
It had slowly become a pattern of human versus alien over the past year. Maria stayed close to only Kyle, and I stayed close to Michael, Tess, and Isabel. Even those ties were slowly beginning to sever.
I took one final look at Maria. Her head turned and her dark eyes caught mine from across the street. She shook her hair out of her eyes and leaned her head back, breathing out slowly, the smoke falling in circles around her head. She didn't acknowledge me; she simply stared at me with her sad eyes. She watched as I turned and walked to my car, parked beside the museum. I made the quick drive back to my house and sighed when I saw the car in my driveway. I shouldn't be surprised; she came almost every night.
I walked through the door, hearing the familiar laughter from the living room. I threw my keys on the table and grabbed a soda before walking toward the noise. Tess sat with my mother on the couch and when I walked into the room both of their eyes drew toward me. Tess's gaze lingered longer, a smile playing on her lips as I sat on the couch adjacent to theirs. A sitcom rambled on the television, illuminating the room with artificial happiness.
"Max, welcome home." My mom said, looking toward me. "Tess just came by to chat and watch TV. Isn't that nice?" Her eyes stayed expectantly on me.
I nodded and smiled. "Yes, nice." I looked Tess in the eye for the first time. Her eyes still held the glimmer of hope, even after months of disappointment. After Liz and Alex's deaths, Tess had pushed closer in an attempt to heal my pains and become a part of me. I had pushed away, attempting to distance myself and hold the image of Liz in my mind. It was hard to remember that Prom night before the accident when I'd felt so close to Tess. In a way I always felt that she saw Liz's death as an opportunity for her personal gain. That thought made me sick inside, and forced me further and further from her. She still showed up at my house on a regular basis and talked to my mom, occasionally doing something fun with Isabel.
Without a word I stood up from the couch and headed up the stairs. I paused outside of Izzy's door, listening to the loud music coming from inside. I hesitated before lifting my hand to knock.
"Come in!" She screamed from inside and I pushed the door open. She lay sprawled on her bed painting her nails a rich red. She lifted her eyes to meet mine before looking back down at her nails. "Do you need something?" She asked, a hint of annoyance in her voice.
Isabel and I hadn't been close for months. She too had begun to distance herself from us. When Alex died, she'd lost the light in her eyes and she'd drawn away. Unlike Maria she stayed with the group, but she stood now only as a bystander. She watched us living our lives, and kept her distance from the world. She'd started dating a football player a few months ago and for awhile we were happy, because some of Isabel's light returned. She gained a piece of her energy back when she was around him. Lately, though, she'd seemed more fatigued, more reserved again. I worried about her but would never let her know it, because Isabel wasn't the type to take pity. If she knew the amount of my worry, she'd shrink away from me even more than before.
"Well?" She asked, looking back up at me. "Is there something you need Max or are you just going to stand there in the doorway?"
"I was just checking to see how you are," I said cautiously.
She sighed. "I'm fine." Rolling her eyes she looked back at her nails. "Why don't you just do downstairs with your girlfriend and leave me alone."
Her statement caught me off guard and I stood for a moment looking at her with sad eyes. "Isabel," I paused and she looked up. "Don't pretend. I know you hear me cry for her at night just as I hear you cry for him." I shut the door, leaving her alone before walking to my room.
That night, she came to me again. I sat at the counter in the Crashdown, music playing in the background. It was just as it was the night of the accident, except I was alone in the room. I looked around at the emptiness around me and sighed, listening as the music filled my heart.
Bound with all the weight of all the words he tried to say,
Chained to all the places that he never wished to stay,
Bound with all the weight of all the words he tried to say,
As he faced the sun he cast no shadow...
Slowly, she walked through the doors from the kitchen. She leaned up against the counter and stared at me. I looked back, the deep brown of her eyes smiling at me as she sighed.
"Don't you see, Max?" Liz asked, turning toward the juke box. I shook my head and she giggled. "Look again, Max. Listen. Our sun... it casts no shadow."
I opened my eyes and stared into my dark room. Her voice still echoed in my brain. She was so real that it frightened me. I slowly closed my eyes, her face still haunting me as I rocked myself into a fitful, dark sleep.
Again, credit to Oasis for "Cast No Shadow"