A/N- I know, it has been FOREVER since I've updated this story. I'm sorry, I truly am. I wish there was some excuse I could give, but there really is none. The good news is that this chapter is complete, and it actually ended up being quite long. I hope that my readers are still out there and haven't given up on me. I think I finally know where this story is going, so hopefully updates will come much more often. So, I hope you enjoy it and please, please, please review- it helps.
Chapter 6
Maria sat in my room on opposite side of the room, each of us frantically dialing number after number on our phones. Sometimes people answered and offered guidance, sometimes we got nothing. When I looked at her I could see the determination set in Maria's eyes. It gave me hope that she was slowly coming back to us. Maria had been lost without Liz and Alex to help her make her way. She'd been stumbling, trying to find her place in the world just as I had. She'd distanced herself from me, from all of us, never realizing that we all felt the pain inside of her. Never realizing that none of us knew how to fill the empty void in our heart left by the absence of Alex and Liz.
On the car ride home from our discovery in Liz's room, I'd turned to Maria. "Where do we go from here?" I'd asked, desperation evident in my voice. I'd grown so accustomed to hiding all the pain and longing inside of me that it was liberating to be able to show all the questions hiding inside of me to someone who could understand.
Maria sat for a moment, contemplating her answer. "The trip was set up by the school, right? We just need to start calling, Max. We need to call anyone and everyone that we possibly can. We need to find out what happened in Sweden and who Leanna is and why Liz and Alex were heading away from Roswell that night. We need answers, Max. Answers will help us to see whatever it is that Liz wants us to see. Answers will lift the shadows."
So we'd gone to my room and we sat for hours. We thought of anyone who could help us and we'd just called. We had no reserve; we ran blindly, trying to find anyone who could have an answer.
I looked down at the list in my lap of names and numbers. I'd thought up as many names as I could and I'd slowly made my way down the list, crossing each name out as I went. I felt fear grip my heart as I stared down at the list. Every name was crossed off except for one. Slowly, with hesitant fingers, I dialed the number and listened to the phone ring.
"Hello?" The tired voice on the other end of the phone asked.
"Yes, hello!" I said, snapping into action. "Is this Ms. Galligher from the counseling office?"
"Yes, this is she. Who's calling?" Her voice sounded edgy and annoyed, so I rushed quickly on.
"My name is Max Evans and I have some questions to ask you about one of my friends' foreign exchange trips. I was told that you were the one to contact if students had any questions."
"Yes," she answered. "What program were you thinking of applying to? We have a wonderful Japan foreign exchange program. Oh, and many students enjoy our program that sends students to England. Or you could-"
I quickly cut her off. "Actually, I was thinking about the program that sends students to Sweden. My friend Alex went there a little over a year ago and he had an amazing time. He brought back all of these slides and had such awesome stories about the culture. I was wondering if you could give me information on that program?"
She paused and I held my breath. "Sweden?" She asked and I heard the sound of computer keys being punched in the background. She sighed, "I hate to break it to you, Mr. Evans, but we don't offer a Swedish foreign exchange program at our school. We haven't offered that program since early 1995."
I felt my body run cold, the blood in my veins turning to ice as the words escaped her lips. I quietly thanked her and hung up the phone, setting it down in my lap and staring at it.
Maria heard my voice silence and looked up. "Max?" She asked, her voice raising in a question. "Max, what's wrong?"
I raised my eyes slowly to meet hers. "Alex never went to Sweden."
Later that night
The revelation that Alex's trip to Sweden had simply been a fabrication led Maria and me to another dead end. If Alex never went to Sweden, who could we contact next? Who would know what had happened? How could we silence the millions of questions in our minds? We'd parted soon afterward, knowing that we each needed time to think over our options. As she'd left, Maria placed her hand on my cheek and looked up into my eyes.
"Sleep tonight, Max. Sleep and open your mind. If Liz wants us to know, she'll tell us." Her lips formed into a half smile as she let her hand slide off of my cheek, turned, and walked toward her car.
As I lay in bed that night, I took a deep breath, opening my mind. Within minutes I was asleep, and just as Maria had said, Liz was ready to speak.
She stood in the Crashdown, the lights turned low and music playing low from the jukebox behind her. She was turned away from me, staring into the juke box, her hair falling in a curtain around her face. Slowly she turned toward me and I noticed she was wearing the dress from prom night. Her eyes glowed with life as she stared at me, saying nothing as the familiar song rang throughout the words.
Here's a thought for every man who tries to understand what is in his hands...
Liz pushed herself away from the juke box and walked toward me. Slowly, without a word, she slid her arms around my neck. Instinctively my hands wrapped around her waist, and she began to sway slowly to the music. I looked down into her deep chestnut eyes, knowing that there were so many questions resting on my lips that I could never voice. I wanted to ask her everything I couldn't understand, I wanted her to give me the answers that only she held in her heart. I knew it was hopeless though; She couldn't give the answers to me in my dreams, I had to find them for myself.
He walks along the open road of love and life, surviving if he can...
Liz pushed herself up onto her tip toes and placed her mouth next to my ear. "Sheriff Valenti knows," she whispered. Her voice was serious, the opposite of what it had been in the previous dreams. "Sheriff Valenti, Max. He knows. He harbors the answers. Sheriff Valenti sees our shadows every day."
She pulled away, her dark eyes level with mine, her lips so close to my face that I could almost feel her warm breaths on my cheeks. For a moment I thought she would kiss me, and my body yearned to place my lips on hers, where they'd been so many times before. But I knew I couldn't; a kiss would only be possible if Liz truly stood in front of me; if I succeeded in everything I hoped to achieve. Liz nodded slowly before pulling her arms away from my neck. She turned and walked away from me, the Crashdown fading dimmer and dimmer with every step she took.
As he faced the sun he cast no shadow...
The next day
Maria and I walked toward the Valenti house, our feet falling in even rhythms as we made our way up the short path. The sheriff was our only thread of hope, the only clue we had leading us on our way. We had no idea what the dreams meant or whether we had any right to hope, but we needed answers.
When we reached the door Maria raised her hand and pressed the doorbell without hesitation. I looked over at her and saw her staring intently at the closed door, the determination evident in her eyes.
The door swung open and Kyle Valenti stood in front of us. "Hey Ria," he said smiling. His eyes shifted toward me and he stopped, obviously taken aback at my presence. "Uh... hey Max. What's up?"
"Hi Kyle," Maria smiled. "We actually need to talk to your dad. Is he here?" She asked.
"Yeah, uh, sure." He said, stepping aside and waving his hand for us to enter. "He's back in his office."
Maria led the way toward the back of the house and down the hall leading to Sheriff Valenti's office. She knocked quickly on the door, opening it after a moment. The sheriff sat at his desk and a smile spread across his face when he saw us standing in the doorway.
"Maria! Max! It's so good to see you both." He said, setting down his pen and leaning back in his chair and placing his hands behind his head. "Let me say, this is a very pleasant surprise. Come in, sit down."
We took seats in the chair on the opposite side of his desk. Maria and I sat in silence for a moment, our eyes catching one another's. We had no idea how to ask the questions running through our minds because we had no idea exactly what questions we had. We didn't know why Liz had led us to Sheriff Valenti, and we knew no one would ever understand our reasoning for asking such questions.
"Sheriff, we just," I paused, struggling to voice the words. "We just have been thinking. We have so many questions about what happened... what happened the night of the accident."
Sheriff Valenti nodded slowly, his eyes falling downward before he looked into our eyes. "I know it's been hard coming to terms with it all. Alex and Liz were two great kids, and it's so hard to see something like this happen. It's natural for you to have questions."
"I guess we just don't understand the whole thing. We knew that you were there at the site that night, and so we thought you might have some answers as to what exactly happened," I explained.
"We just want to know what happened, Sheriff," Maria said, her voice coming out quietly. "What happened that night?"
The sheriff paused, considering his words before speaking. "Well Maria, I guess no one will ever really know what happened that night. I mean, we don't know why Liz and Alex were on that road and we don't know why they swerved off the cliff. I really want to help you, but I don't have the answers that you want. Only Liz and Alex know where they were going that night and why. Only they can know what happened to make them have that accident. Only they know, and unfortunately they'll never be able to answer. I'm sorry you guys."
"But I mean, there are just so many questions. Sheriff, you saw the car, right?" I asked.
He nodded. "Yes, I was there. I did see the car."
"And," I paused. I knew the words I wanted to ask, but the pain and weight of them cut my tongue and I felt unable to voice them. I pressed on, pushing away my fear. "And, did you see their bodies?"
I heard Maria's voice beside me quicken and I reached over, placing my hand over hers. The sheriff sighed, letting his head fall as he reached up and rubbed his eyes with his fingers. "Max, Maria, the car that Liz and Alex were in went off a cliff and landed more than 100 feet below it. It burst into flames on contact with the ground. I know this is hard for you to think about, but the bodies were unidentifiable by sight. Only later in a lab could it be confirmed by DNA information that Liz and Alex were truly the victims. We had suspicion before, of course. The license plate from Alex's Rabbit was found a few yards away from the vehicle."
"But you did confirm it in the lab?" I asked, my hand tightening around Maria's.
"Yes," he said and nodded. "Their bodies were examined later and were confirmed by DNA traces."
A knock on the door broke the silence in the room that fell after Sheriff Valenti's words. "Come in," he called out, and the door opened revealing Tess in the doorway.
"I heard we had visitors," she said smiling, her eyes attempting to catch mine. "Hey Maria, hey Max."
"We were just here to ask the sheriff some questions about the accident," I said, the words rushing from my mouth as I kept my eyes locked on the desk in front of me.
"Liz and Alex's accident?" She asked, her question being confirmed by a nod from the sheriff. "Oh, OK. Well, I guess I'll leave you be then. Just call me if you need anything." She said and smiled before quietly closing the door behind her.
I looked over at Maria for the first time since my question and saw her staring toward the ground at her feet. I could feel the disappointment falling around her and I could see the sadness in her eyes.
"Thank you, Sheriff Valenti." I said, raising from my chair. "I think that's all of our questions for today." I place my other hand on Maria's shoulder and she looked up at me, rising from her chair as well.
The sheriff stood and walked toward the door, opening it for us. "If you have anymore questions, or if you need anything at all, you know my door is always open. You can always come to me if you need me."
I nodded and walked through the door, pulling Maria along with me, our hands still linked together. We made our way through the house and toward the front door.
"Hey Max," Tess's voice stopped us at the front door and I turned toward her. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" She asked.
I paused, looking back at Maria. She nodded. "I'll meet you outside Max." She said as she pushed through the screen door.
Silence filled the room and looked toward Tess as she stood awkwardly in the doorway. She took a few steps toward me, her fingers clasped nervously around the necklace hanging from her thin neck. I realized that this was the first time we'd been alone together since the incident in my room where I'd gotten so mad at her.
"Look Tess, I'm sorry for being so harsh toward you that day in my room. I'm just under a lot of stress." I finally said, looking toward her.
I saw the relief flush through her features as she took a few more steps toward me, her hand falling from around her necklace as she placed it on my shoulder. "I'm sorry too, Max. I hate fighting with you. I just miss you; I miss the way things used to be. I just wish..." her trailed off and she looked down, embarrassment in her eyes.
"Wish what?" I asked, prompting her to finish.
"Nothing," she said quickly, shaking her head.
"No, Tess. Wish what?"
She paused, pulling her hand from my shoulder and curling her fingers back around the light amber stone on her necklace. "I just wish you could forget, Max. I wish you could forget, and remember what we used to have."
I sighed, shaking my head. "Stop wishing for hopeless things." I said softly before I turned my back to her and pushed my way through the door, meeting Maria back out in the sunlight.