Whatever Happened To Sirius Black?
Sirius ducked a stream of red light coming from Bellatrix and laughed at her.
"Come on, you can do better than that!" he yelled, his voice echoing around the cavernous room.
The second jet of light hit him squarely on the chest.
The laughter had not quite died from his face, but his eyes widened in shock.
It seemed to take Sirius an age to fall: his body curved in a graceful arc as he sank backwards through the ragged veil hanging from the arch and diappeared behind the veil, which fluttered for a moment as though in a high wind, then fell back into place.
Everything around him was black. He couldn't see anything, couldn't hear anything, couldn't smell anything, couldn't sense anything at all – just all encompassing blackness.
And then, suddenly – light. Bright and brilliant light.
Then he heard a voice.
"Ey! Look at that guy! What's he doing here?"
"I don't know," replyed a second, this time female voice. "The ship must have picked him up somehow. You know that strange things can happen whenever we use the improbability drive."
"Is he dead?" asked jet another voice.
Sirius opened his eyes to find himself lying flat on his back and someone staring at him, who wearing a bathrobe and a towel around his neck.
"Wow, he's alive!" eclaimed that someone and jumped back.
Sirius slowly heaved himself into a sitting position and immediately wished he were still unconcious. Three people were looking at him, mildly interested. The aforementioned man in the bathrobe, a brownhaird woman with strange clothes and a man (who was wearing even stranger clothes) with two heads and three arms.
"Where am I?" Sirius asked confused. He was well used to magic and all sorts of strange things, but this was a bi too much, even for him.
"He can talk!" the two-headed man called out and ran over to the wizard, pulling him up. "My name is Zaphod Bebblebrox and you are on my ship, the Heart of Gold. This is Trillian and this ape-desendant over there is Arthur something."
"Ship?" Sirius asked. "What ship?"
"My ship, of course, the best and newest spaceship in all of the universe!" Zaphod beamed.
"What is a spaceship?" Sirius asked confused.
"What is a spaceship? How can anyone not know what a spaceship is! Just where did you come from?"
"Last I knew, I was in the Ministry, in London," the wizard replyed.
"London?" Arthur exclaimed surprised. "So you're from the Earth, too?"
Zaphod shook his head. "Another Apeling."
"Why are you were such strange clothes, if you're from London?" Trillian asked.
"These are normal everyday-robes. What is so strange about them?"
"Robes?" Arthur asked. "Why're you wearing robes?"
"Everone wears them," Sirius answered. "Every wizard, that is."
"You mean, you're a WIZARD?" the woman asked with wide eyes.
"Of coure, I though you were wizards, too. I' never head of a Muggle with two heads!" Sirius said defensively.
"Muggle?" Arthur asked confused.
"Non-magical person," Sirius explained.
"That's all very interesting, but now what?" Zaphod asked.
"I have to find a way to get back!" Sirius suddenly remembered. "I have to help Harry!"
"But, you can't go back to Earth," Arthur said sadly. "It has been destroyed to make way for a new hyperspatial express route."
"What!" Sirius just stared at him. This couldn't be true!
"Sorry, mate," Zaphod said from a funny-looking window. "Earth's gone. Poof!"
"But, … Harry! I have to get back…"
"Now, look at the bright side." Zaphod said and put an arm across Sirius shoulder. "You're here, and I just know what you need: a good drink." He led the wizard over to a comfortable chair. "And I know just the place where you can get the best Pan-Galactic-Gargleblaster. You see, there's this nice little restraunt at the end of the universe…"