The Summer's Secret

by Japhu

For one week in summer Harry disappears without trace. When he comes back he claims to have no memory. But something happened and it changed him. It remains to be seen if for the better or the worse. [AU post OotP, will be HPSS]

32. Chapter 31 : Personal Matters

Title: Harry Potter and the Summer's Secret

Author: Japhu

Beta Reader: Nagi

Pairing: HPSS

Rating: R

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Harry Potter and his world and don't make any money with it.

Summary: For one week in summer Harry disappears without trace. When he comes back he claims to have no memory. But something happened and it changed him. It remains to be seen if for the better or the worse. (will be HPSS)

Category: action/adventure/angst

Feedback: always highly appreciated

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Chapter 31 – Personal Matters

Every former headmaster's picture gazed at the door before some of them then turned to glance curiously at the men who watched the closed door in silent contemplation, the older one thoughtfully with a sad twinkle in his eyes, the younger one with an angry glint, his left eyebrow raised as if to emphasize how typically Gryffindor that loud-mouthed imbecile, who had just stormed out without an ounce of respect to his elders, was acting.

Potter an equal? Certainly not. A force to reckon with? It was possible. After the way the talk had gone, Severus could not say otherwise without lying to himself. There were things going on that did not add up. Some memories should not have been there. Even if what Potter had indicated about his possession at the Department of Mysteries was true, he should not know what he did. There was no way that this sort of information would come up within random thoughts going through the Dark Lord's mind. He let his left arm go. The pain was only a dully-lingering throb within overstressed nerves.

"Now, Severus, what do you think of our Harry Potter?" The pride in the old man's voice did not go unnoticed. "He has matured greatly, has he not?"

Severus gazed skeptically at the headmaster. Harry Potter matured? No. More arrogant? Yes. It seemed as if Potter thought himself worthy enough to play his own game in the adults' league. Ignorant, really, and, more importantly, dangerous after the way the mutt had ended last year, but still a force to reckon with.

"Severus?"

"It doesn't matter what I think; that brat's still a brat." He sneered.

"Is he, Severus?" Albus' eyes twinkled even more brightly. He did not think that Harry was as naïve as Severus thought him to be. He had a few suspicions that not only Harry's mind had grown but also his abilities as well. It would make sense. Despite what Harry had said, Albus was sure that the boy had been the center of whatever had happened during the summer.

Of course, Albus Dumbledore had not only Harry Potter to deal with. Now that the boy knew of the prophecy and the other party had made the first move to eventually reveal itself fully, the old headmaster had to look over many happenings that could go wrong and bring only darkness over the world as a whole.

"He'll be a formidable opponent for Voldemort when he leaves school. It seems that his godfather's death has finally made Harry grow up." Sadly, it made the boy's trust towards him nonexistent, too.

"Maybe so." Severus did not think that it was the mutt's death that led Potter to believe he could get through with whatever his Gryffindor mind could come up with. The man shrugged his shoulders noncommittally but could not refrain from adding, "If the imbecile gets this stupid temper under control. Otherwise the idiot boy will not see the light again after he steps into the Dark Lord's line of view."

"Ah, yes. That is the reason we are here, is it not, Severus?" Only when Severus turned towards him Albus' eyes twinkled merrily, all in good character. Albus conjured another cup of tea for Severus and waited until the younger man had made himself comfortable in the same chair Harry had occupied earlier.

"Is that why you wanted me to legilimize Potter?" Even if Severus tried to be polite, from his mouth the name always sounded like a curse. "Even though the boy is a lost case in occluding his mind, he's always been fast to feel me enter."

"Naturally, Severus. The boy has a strong will, but I trust you didn't use your usually more … aggressive method to gain access and have been a bit more guarded with your power? Did you do as I asked you to, Severus?"

"Naturally, Albus." The man parroted his mentor with a snarl. "I'm not this old because I'm careless in covering my tracks." He grimaced, but the probing gaze left him totally unimpressed. "Admittedly this time I was … clumsy enough for someone trained in Occlumency above the mere beginnings to notice my presence, but Potter did not even twitch when I entered his mind."

"Hm." Albus stirred his tea thoughtfully.

"So why did you do it?" He did not let himself be sidetracked.

"To answer a question that came up during the conversation." Dumbledore stared with furrowed brows to the door where the boy had vanished. He had done it to be certain of Harry Potter. He needed to know if he indeed had to reckon with the boy. His reaction had been most interesting if a bit peculiar.

"And?" Not one for staying around the dark clad man inquired impatiently, "Your answer?"

"Very much telling, my dear Severus." This time the twinkle in his eyes was back fulltime, though the Potions Master recognized a hard glint underlining it. "Very much so." For a moment they sat in silence, then the headmaster looked up questioningly. "So, do you believe Harry knows, or is he truly clueless? Tell me what you did find, Severus." Albus watched every reaction the younger man showed with caution. Severus Snape was one of the few Albus could not read very well, though Severus himself thought Albus to be an expert in that field.

Truth was that Severus had probably manipulated him as much as Albus had done to the Potions Master, but Albus was sure not to let Severus in on that knowledge. Nothing worked twice with him. Of course, he still seemed to talk Severus into some things more than once, but then it only happened when he saw an advantage for himself, and sometimes Albus found himself out-manoeuvred. With that man one had to keep every advantage possible. Albus had learnt a long time ago that whenever he thought he knew how his Potions Master's mind worked the man managed to surprise him once again.

The only thing certain of Severus Snape was his absolute hate for James Potter, his loathing of Voldemort, and everything that evolved around those two men; one man dead already, the other soon to be dead – hopefully. Everything else concerning Severus was questionable, but Severus was not the most successful spy on this side of the war for nothing, and it toned Albus' abilities when he tried to manipulate the master of manipulations.

Severus did not use his gift often, at least not in Albus' vicinity, but it explained somewhat how he managed to stay alive for all those years, though Severus denied vehemently to have done or known something special to gain back Voldemort's trust as easily as he had done.

"Of course, Albus." Severus took a moment to think. "As far as I could see, Potter doesn't remember, though he's not as sure to have been at Privet Drive as he wants to make us believe. He just remembers being pampered by the Muggles, though there are some things that don't fit, as if he had been obliviated at some point in the past, but it was not the foggy white one expects with victims of powerful memory spells. However, I could find no lingering traces of any memory spells, mind-changing potions or something equally useful. I've never seen something taking effect like this. Those symptoms are unknown to me. You'll see for yourself when you view the memory." As always Severus would put the memories of Potter in a Pensieve for the headmaster to watch, not to say that he would give him all memories. He never did, not of a Death Eater meeting or anything else he had information about.

"Did he outright lie at one point?"

"While I was legilimizing him?" He sneered. "No." Not outright. "His story of our encounter in Diagon Alley was pulled over by that mop of hair, though." Whatever Potter had thought to do, the idiot boy had not been hiding when the Red Robes discovered him. Potter was walking towards them as if going to a picnic.

"Of course, Severus. I'm sure you wouldn't run that fast." Albus gazed at him smiling and popped in another lemon drop at Severus' growl.

The content of Severus' own report concerning the happenings at Diagon Alley, which he had given right after getting back to the castle, did not so much differ from the story Potter had told with this stupid grin on his face as Severus could have wished. The boy had kept it to the bare facts just like he.

Severus had been there long enough to see the boy being hit by that powerful spell. It had to be by some sort of Imperius that Potter had decided to leave his badly chosen hiding place. Severus had seen the magic at work. It had been breathtaking and dangerous.

He could not tell Albus of it because he had never told the old man of his ability to see the magic in the moment of spell casting. It was always good to keep what was not explicitly necessary to himself in case of an emergency. Even back in summer, after he had watched this … gathering in the ruins of the Dark Lord's lair, Severus has said no more than that they stood in a circle, doing … something. It was worrisome in itself that his encounter then sounded suspiciously close to Potter's vision.

However, for all rights Potter should have said something about being hit by a spell, because he must have felt the control over his body slip at some point. So why did he not? There were other things, too. The apparently 'golden' robes and the attack of Voldemort that ended with both of them nearly breaking down in pain – the Potter boy with glowing eyes; admittedly the boy could not possibly know about the latter. Severus kept this one to himself for his own benefit. It could be of use later on, or it could become a disaster. Certainly it was an effect he had never seen before. Still, there were questions left, but none for the headmaster to answer. Severus watched the old man with his usual air of disinterest.

"What did YOU find within the boy's mind, Albus?"

"Nothing." Albus smiled as if that was exactly what he had thought to find.

"What?" The younger man's eyes widened.

"I found nothing at all," Albus repeated happily.

"But that's not possible!" Severus frowned, trying to get behind the ploy the great Albus Dumbledore was following now.

"I did not try to be obvious. I was … careful to legilimize him with the same amount of power I always used." Albus tilted his greyed head. "To be honest, I used a lot less just to be on the safe side." Silently, Albus contemplated how it was possible that his mind had always been pulled to the same point on his search for a weakness in the mental defense. It was the only breach in Harry Potter's mental shields he could find, the same spot where Severus had entered the boy's mind. Wherever he entered the boy's mind, he always ended up there and Albus did not go any further.

"Well then, obviously you should've used more magic," Severus said.

"Do you think I don't know the way my magic is working, Severus?" Albus shook his head in silent amusement. "I do believe I'm long not old enough to forget how much magic I need to legilimize an untrained mind."

Severus frowned darkly. "Isn't it more possible that he instinctively closed off? It happens often when emotions turn up and his certainly were high. At least it is far more likely than that he suddenly learnt to occlude his mind in a matter of weeks. More so, as you seem to think he led me around in some trap of his." Severus wanted to refuse to believe that Potter could be able of a tremendous feat like that. It just was impossible, even if he was the Boy-Who-Lived – what a stupid title, really. Furthermore, it would not go unnoticed if he did say otherwise when it was about Potter.

"I truly want to believe that Harry has accomplished Occlumency for his own good." Albus sighed heavily. "Maybe you are right. One time is no proof." The old man still looked as if he believed it to be true and Severus himself was thinking over what had happened. Were two times the proof that Potter had somehow learnt not only to occlude his mind but also to deceive and to play memories at will? He could not help but to be sceptical about what he had seen in Potter's mind. He remembered very well when he tried to legilimize the brat at the station.

During the arrival Potter's mind had been as closed off against Legilimency as that Muggle Crusoe had been from the mainland. Potter did not even detect Severus trying to read his mind. Because his shields were that strong he needed to consciously watch out for an attack – or to set some sort of mind wards (which the boy had obviously neglected to do) – to become aware of a cautious attacker. During the talk the boy had obviously expected to be legilimized and had lowered his shields appropriately, prepared to lead Dumbledore on. But was it even possible to play with memories and thoughts in a way like that? Before this day Severus would have said no; now he was not so certain anymore.

The emotions that triggered the memories had seemed true enough, the anger at Moody and especially Lupin (watching Potter's memory they truly had acted like fools), the confusion whenever the boy thought about being away from the Dursleys or when the old man asked him what happened (it always called forth this empty, grey void of nothing before the memories of the Dursleys came forward). All of it felt real, not like something built up to prevent an invading mind of going further.

The happiness when for a moment the boy thought the Dark Lord dead and an image of a smaller Potter sitting in a window that showed only for a second could not have been anything but real. The image had come with a feeling of utmost hope and freedom, and all of it went with the conversation. Made up memories did not hold the emotion that was linked with those that have been lived through for real. It would be possible to create something similar, but it would only be a parody of the real feeling.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he acknowledged that this was one of the very few positive memories he had gotten out of Potter's head. Of course, Severus tended to dig for the worst to unbalance the ignorant brat. But was Potter that ignorant? Severus would have to think about this conversation as soon as he was away from the old man's prying eyes. It did not feel as if Dumbledore had gotten what he wanted. Not really. It seemed as if Potter was a cleverer brat than he got credit for. Certainly, Severus needed to find out what Potter was trying to hide; he would need to watch the boy even more closely.

"I want you to watch the boy." Severus blinked at the headmaster's words. "Voldemort could very well possess him again." Then his eyes narrowed.

"Are you saying that you believe the mumble jumble Potter threw into our faces?" Severus doubted very much that Potter would have been able to keep something like that to himself.

"Harry truly seems to be oblivious. You said so yourself, but to answer your question, I do believe him. Most things I do believe to be true," Dumbledore said thoughtfully and with a crunching noise he bit the lemon drop he still sucked on into little pieces. "Harry never lied about important matters. His visions and everything concerning Voldemort was always true to his word, even if he did not like how I used his information. I do not think he would start now. I did not detect deceit in his words. He truly has knowledge of Voldemort's thoughts and maybe some of his memories."

"You must admit," Albus twinkled with apparent mirth, "that he has finally found a way to get included in our meetings if we ever hope to get any information out of him. I would say that doing so is far from naïve, wouldn't you?" Albus smiled as he realized Severus' eyes widening. "If he would lie then he would lie about his feelings, and Harry has not yet mastered his temper as well as I would like. Oh yes, Harry was very much truthful, though sadly not as innocent anymore, never mind the issue of where his trust lies." The old man clicked his tongue as if trying to savour the lemon flavour. "Still, I very much think I missed something important, and I don't like that feeling at all."

"What's with this scar issue?" Severus thought about the pain he had felt through the mark when Potter bored them with his stupid rambling. Pale, his cheeks flushed with an angry red, the boy had truly looked the worse for wear. There was no possibility that the angry Gryffindor had kept his control. There was no chance either that what Potter had felt had been nothing but a normal headache. Not when he had lain twitching on the ground in Diagon Alley only a day before, not when Severus' arm hurt so much that he thought it would better to just cut the offending limb off. And that stupid brat had the audacity to doubt his words.

"It could be that he caught a backlash of your pain as you were within his mind when your mark started burning."

"That's possible," Severus relented, "but unlikely."

"We will see, Severus, but for now I believe we have more things to worry about. With those Red Robes of yours," at this the Potions Master scowled darkly, "times will become even darker I fear. I want you to tell me what Harry is doing, what he is thinking. He won't trust me, but I need to know what goes on in his head."

"He'll hardly tell me." Severus could barely contain his sarcasm.

"I know, Severus." The old man twinkled. "That is why I want you to make him angry."

"You want what?"

"I cannot allow him to close himself off from the world."

"Do I understand you correctly, Albus? You want me to … insult the brat?"

"Don't play stupid, Severus." The headmaster admonished twinkling. "Of course you are not to insult Harry." The eyes glinted. "I want him to lose his calm. With your charming personality you manage it quite easily even when you've not set out to do so."

"To the best of my ability, Albus." Severus clenched his teeth. It just was not the same when the headmaster gave him his blessing instead of trying to get him to worship the brat like everyone else. It somehow took away the satisfaction he felt. He hated that wretched child and would have no problem coming up with scathing remarks. It still would not be the same. That stupid, manipulating bastard took away his only positive thing to look forward to. But then there was the thing with Potter himself. The boy had hinted at knowledge he could only have gotten from the Dark Lord himself. The possession explained it, but what was the boy playing at to let him know what he knew instead of informing the headmaster of everything? And what else did he know? Severus would surely watch the brat. He blinked. "Is that why you put him in Potions?"

"Just for a time, Severus. I need time to think. He surprised me."

"He did?"

"Harry has grown over the summer." Snape raised a brow questioningly and Albus sighed. "I hoped you listened, Severus. He has. In his mind he had grown tremendously. I am not certain I can reach him anymore." Harry would go his own way of that the headmaster was sure, and he still needed to try and steer the boy in the right direction. Albus watched when Severus finally took a cautious sip from his tea. There was something else that made him itch inwardly. Harry had said some more or less harmless things that indicated a deeper knowledge. Certainly, Severus had reacted really … emotionally – for him at least – when Harry had let loose his temper. Something had been said that had definitely alarmed him.

Promises of confidence, especially oaths, were no easy matter. It must have been from some of Voldemort's memories Harry had gotten in the department. Albus berated himself. If he just had not told the boy the prophecy. Not that it mattered for the long run. There were hundreds of ancient prophecies that waited to be fulfilled and with a bit of imagination dozens of them could fit the boy. If Albus had kept the prophecy to himself as he had originally planned Harry would probably still have trusted him enough to reveal whatever echoes the short time possession with Voldemort had left within his mind. Now it was too late. Albus leaned back with a sigh.

"Now tell me, Severus, what did Harry mean with his last … choicy words to you? I certainly would know if you were my son, and to my knowledge your mother is dead, isn't she?" The younger man nodded silently, his expression totally closed off. "So then, is there anyone else but Voldemort you are sworn to?"

"Actually yes, Albus." The Potions Master sneered, outwardly totally unimpressed, taking the glacial expression for the warning it was. For an instant Severus enjoyed the expectant expression of repressed surprise. "I'm sworn to you if I remember correctly; and that's one master more than a wizard ordinarily does have." The old man truly lost his bite when he thought that his almighty headmaster attitude would get somewhere with him. "Potter has an ill sense of humour; I'm sure you find it all amusing." Severus growled, though his expression stayed bare of emotion.

"Have you noticed, Severus, that Harry did not say much without meaning during the whole conversation?"

"Did he?" Severus raised his brow. "What interest is it to me what Potter said?" To him it looked like some ploy to get revenge, to get back at the old man for all the times he had led the boy on. The relation to Dumbledore was frosty even after months of not seeing each other or because of – more so than before when the emotion the boy had displayed was an indicator. He truly would have to take the boy to the side and have a nice talk with him, because whatever game he thought to play with the headmaster, Severus refused to be a part of it. And the old man could play on his own, too.

"If you don't need me any longer?" Severus took long strides towards the door. He needed to think things through and to make some decisions.

"Severus, stay a moment longer, please." The words were sharp and to the point. Silently, the younger man turned around at once and endured the recurrent scrutiny with a stony expression that gave away nothing all the while Albus stayed in his merry-old-man role, crunching one lemon drop after the other.

"What else is there about that boy you need me to know now instead of tomorrow?" He groaned, his dislike apparent. "I'm really not interested in any more stories about how formidable that brat's going to be. I'd rather brew the potion I prepared that morning."

"That is truly sad, Severus." Albus twinkled. "But you're lucky that Mr. Potter's … abilities are not the reason I asked you to stay a moment longer. I need your own abilities to look for one of my informants." His expression grew serious. "Find clues to what happened to him, really anything would help. If you need to send one of your own to further it, do it, but find him."

Intrigued Severus took a step back into the room. It had not happened before that Albus went to such expenses when one of his many spies vanished. Normally the old man went for the line that a life given for the greater good is a life not given uselessly. This though, seemed different.

"When did he disappear?"

"Over the summer. I had two that were closely involved in … something. One is now dead. The other is missing." Albus weighed up what he could reveal and what would give the man too much information for his brilliant mind to work with.

It was not Severus' trust he questioned (not really), but his ability to maintain the upper hand for the rest of his life. Even a man with Severus' abilities was to meet his better once in life. Severus Snape himself reminded Albus of the fact that his own successor was certain to come. It would not do to give his Potions Master more information than what was strictly necessary for him to accomplish his task.

"Any recognizable characteristics you can tell me?" Albus lips twitched. Severus did not ask for any features, but for those he could be told of. Severus knew the importance of spies and to keep their identity secret as long as somehow possible. As it was, Albus would have to tell him something.

"Yes. You're looking for an old man with a bad mouth and a somewhat sick sense of humour." Severus' brows rose in seldom-displayed surprise. Had it been anything else they were talking about, Albus' twinkle would have magnified.

"I'll let you know if there is someone who meets your description." Severus, all business, looked inwards for a moment. "Anything special I have to keep attention of?"

Neither of them gave away all information or ammunition in any case; both were wary of each other but their understanding was strong enough to get past the difficulty of two wizards whose minds worked much too alike for the other's peace of mind. However, up to a certain point that they had not yet reached, both men worked well together, though even they themselves did not explicitly know how to define their relationship to each other.

It was not the first person he had sent Severus after. It would not be the last either. The Potions Master knew what mattered. There had been incidents when a warning was appreciated, like the one time he sent Severus after someone who kept a pack of Cerberi at his command and called them his pets, or when he sent him after a young, but fully fledged vampire who rampaged throughout the country.

This time he could not give a warning. Should Severus find something he would have to keep his own. Albus could not risk alerting the wrong people of his search. But maybe he could make it a bit easier to find the right old man. It would be dangerous enough as it is. Albus sighed.

"I'll tell you our code of recognition for cases as this. You are to use it only if you are sure that he is the right one, understand?"

"Of course." The Potions Master's eyes narrowed.

"It's 'Dark Child'. You say nothing else but those two words. Dark Child. When his answer is 'Child Chosen' you have the right one. Bring him here into this office as fast as possible. When he says anything else you have the wrong one and he is of no interest to you." Albus rubbed his eyeglasses and looked warily up at him. "Should his answer be 'Lord of Lightning' then you take your magic and apparate out of there, or if that's not possible gather your breath and run instantly. Clear?"

Severus nodded. He could see a certain risk to use the keywords when he was anything but sure. "Dark Child. Child Chosen is the friend. If it's Lord of Lightning I'm talking with the enemy and retreat at once." Severus frowned. Why did they use such a dangerous way to talk to each other?

"Am I right to say that this will keep my weekends busy?" He would truly need to use whatever contacts he had left. Some of them might even be back from wherever they had been gone to.

"I need you to keep an eye on Harry; that is more important. You will have to send your men if possible, but don't tell them the keywords. If you need to verify the man's identity do it yourself; get me if necessary." Albus leaned back. "And Severus, please look again, if you find something at Nema's castle."

"I'll do so, but I doubt that there'll be any more clues. There was not anything left right after the destruction to begin with, and it's quite possible that those Red Robes took what was left after they finished whatever they had come to do." Severus shrugged. He had been checking the central point of destruction, the point from where the power surge had overrun the country, more than once after the first time when he witnessed the Red Robes; it would not be the last time either. Understandably he just did not like it very much; after all, the Dark Lord could come back at any moment. Severus had no death wish, but he would do what Albus … asked of him. The old man seemed somehow certain that the Dark Lord would not be back in the near future, at least not at his old hiding place. Of course, not knowing why he was repeatedly sent there irked Severus tremendously, as did the headmaster's display of certainty. Why did Dumbledore send one of his more useful spies to the place where they thought Voldemort in hiding?

"It would be easier if you'd tell me what you think I might find."

"It is possibly still hidden and will be revealed sometime later, or it is not yet there at all or gone already and will be brought back later. You'll know why and what when you find it, Severus." It was the same answer as always. At least the place had been and still was hidden with magic. Only very strong wizards had been able to recognize the source of power. The area from which the magical outburst originated was known to most, but few only knew the direct point from where the magic erupted.

"I trust you to keep Harry occupied. There are a lot of things that need to be done now, so I don't intend to interfere much with him for the time being. Just be sure to let me know if something unforeseen happens. Keep an eye on your Slytherins, too. I think there too might be brewing something after this summer." Albus tried to think of anything else. "Do you have questions?"

"No." Severus shook his head. He had long since stopped asking questions, as most of them would not be answered halfway satisfyingly. "I let you know when I get more information. Albus." Severus stood, nodded once in greeting and closed the door quietly after himself. At first he would put this conversation in his Pensieve, and after he had watched through his memories he would only leave the ones he thought of use for Albus … some of the memories he got out of Potter's head. Before he gave the old man even more information Severus needed to know more about the boy. Although, quite honestly, with this task at hand he had more important things to do for now besides trying to figure out what was going on with the precious Harry Potter, but Severus would make him angry, and then he would see what happened. His first priority was this stupid spy that had managed to get himself lost, than he would deal with the brat. At first the work, then the fun. Silently he was making plans whom to contact and how to start his search without drawing any unwanted attention.

Only when the Potions Master passed the gargoyle did Albus Dumbledore allow himself to lean back. Disgustedly he spit out the lemon drop and rinsed his mouth of the lingering sweetness with the last lukewarm bits of tea. He knew that Harry would become a problem, and with the way Severus' mind worked he would have to deal with him, too.