Episode 3

Poof! Fairy princess: appears in Draco's Private room at Hogwarts

Captain Oblivious: is already there

Kozi-Chan: is nowhere to be seen.

Fairy Princess: "Why are we here again?"

Captain Oblivious: "To ogle Draco Malfoy and glomp his sh-mex-say ass, of course."

Fairy princess: Scratches head with wand "Oh" "Yummy"

Kozi-Chan: Laughs hysterically at innuendo
Captain O: "Where did that come from!"

Fairy Princess: "I don't know but it sounded like Kozi."

Kozi: Is author and wont appear until Snape does.

Captain Oblivious: "Oh"

Draco: Walks in "PLEBES! What are you doing in my PRIVATE QUARTERS? I thought I escaped you all!"

Fairy Princess: "Oh no, dear Draco, you shall never es-cap-e us" (said like es-cap-'e)

Captain O: laughs manically

Kozi: Notices that sa-chan and jess and keiko-kun and steph and chibi-muraki weren't in the first ones, and decides to add them

Fairy Princess, Captain Obliv: "Yay!"

Draco: "Oh no MORE fangirls?" shudders

Fairy princess: adds fairly "and one boy,"

Draco: perks "Boy?"

Kozi:is once again laughing hysterically at unintended innuendo...perk...

Captain Obliv: "you are a sick, sick author cozy!" to Draco "This boy is our lover, though, and we don't share." Shows very pretty pic of David

Draco: Smirks "What about my lover...?"

Captain: "HARRY POTTER?"

Draco and Captain: Makes a deal to share lovers

Yami, David--er--Chibi-Muraki, Kaeda, Harry: Walks in

Fairy Princes: To Harry Draco is trading you in for someone else, and sharing you with herpoints to captain nod to David David, you have been replaced as Captains Lover by him points to Harry

David: Sputters "I--What? I'm not, captain's not my--IM NOT GAY!"

Kozi: Comes in dragging ghost Snape on a collar and chain laughs at david

Sarah: Was following conversation but is now entranced by Snape and is fighting with Kozi over him

Snape: "This is so demeaning"

Kozi: "Your fault, you killed yourself. If you had your wand, and maybe weren't dead, you could get out of this ghost collar! Muahahahahahaha!"

Sarah: "Kozi, Snape isn't allowed to be Uke!"

Kozi: indignant "He isn't! But if he wasn't wearing a collar and I wasn't holding leash he would run away…."

Snape: "So Demeaning."

David: "is still spluttering while Draco tries to molest him."

Harry: Is eyeing captain warily and repeating the same sentence over and over ("I'm gay, I'm gay I'm gay I'm gay I'm gay…")

Captain: drools over Harry imitates Kozi with leash idea

Harry: Sulks

Draco: Molests

Sarah: Argues

Fairy Princess: Watches with interest before going to glomp Wood

Jess: "Y'all are nuts" walks out of room

Kozi: Glomps Snape

Snape: Is gay

Kozi: begins devious plot to steal Harry (or maybe borrow) from Captain and allowing Snape and Harry to mate so that she can have mini snapes and Harry's

Kozi: Has a really creepy mind

Captain, Fairy Princess, Sarah: agrees

Captain: refuses to loan Harry to Kozi then remembers that mini Harry's means more Harry's and more Harry's mean more fun

David: "Help!"

Everyone: Ignores

Draco: "I'll help you" lick

David: is still trying to pretend to be straight while getting molested by Draco

Everyone: stops to watch in fascination

Kozi: Goes off with Captain, Harry and Snape

Sarah: Continues to watch Draco molest her owner

Fairy princess: is still off glomping Wood

David: succumbs to being gay and allows Draco to have his wicked way with him

Draco: Doesn't care that other are watching

Others: Watch OO

Keade: Comes back in to amuse herself because she was bored "Ewwwww…. David…." Walks back out

Sarah: leaves also

People who left: gets together In GH

Snape: "DEMEANING!" Roar

Mini-Snape: is mini

Mini Harry: is also mini

Kozi: "awwwwww!"

Captain: "awwwww!"

Sarah: "awwww!"

Snape, Harry: "Oh for the love of…."

Jessica: "Well, they are cute,"sympathizes with Snape and Harry

Fairy Princes: Is done glomping wood and starts a party in GH

Hogwarts students and teachers: appear out of air and dance and party

Fairy Princes: is pleased with herself Poof!

Kozi: reads horribly depressing fanfics and cries

Snape: laughs "Silly Muggle. Allowing bits of paper to make you cry and wail like a baby.

Harry: Comforts Kozi because the author (which is also Kozi) thinks it's the Gryffindor thing to do "That's mean, Besides, Severus, I have seen you get emotional over a bit of paper! Granted, you weren't crying but that face you had was surley enough to count"

Author: muses that this story thingy might possibly be developing a plot

Kozi: Shoves printed fanfics in Snape's face "REAAD!" is a bit hyper-frantic

Snape: Reads "This is sad,"

Kozi: nods sadly "I know…"

Snape: shoving papers back at Kozi "No, I mean its sad that you get so worked up over characters that aren't even real."

Kozi: is defensive

Harry: Takes papers and reads

Captain: goes off to glomp Ron

Fairy Princess: Poof! "And I'm gone!"

Kozi: pointing "It's the peanut!" Screams

Sarah, Kaeda, Captain Obliv, David (who just escaped molestation): "OH NO!" "IT'S THE PEANUT!"

Fairy Princess: Poof! is back "What'd I miss?"

Kozi: "It's the peanut!"

Fairy princess: Gasp "OH NO!"

Hogwarts student and teachers: Have no clue
Dumbledore: has just now realized that there were troublesome muggles afoot, and accepts this "The…. Peanut?"

Kozi: "THE TEA POT!"
Hogwarts students and staff: "Tea…pot?"

Kozi: "VOLDEMORT!"
Whole School: Screams and runs around madly, bumping into each other and swarming

Dumbledore: is actually the only one looking for the peanut

Peanut: Is killing and slashing and molesting and winning secretly in an in-vis-a-bili-ty cloak, how rad!

Sarah: Runs away with Snape while Kozi's back is turned

Dumbledore: has commanding power and gets everyone to calm down, while banishing the peanut.

Muggles + Snape: Huddle together in middle of the hall waving and smiling at all magic-folks

Dumbledore: "who are you, and how did you get here?"

Sunshine: poof! "I'm Sunshine the fairy princess!"

Captain: Salutes "I'm Captain Oblivious!"

Kozi: Has no little intro-thingy "I'm Kozi!"

Sarah: Mew "I'm Yami-no-Konneko-Chan!"

Kaede: newnew "I'm Kaede!"

David: Strokes his hair "I'm Chibi-Muraki"

Ghost-Snape: Glowers "I'm Snape, of course. I died. Now I'm a ghost"

Dumbledore: "Did these muggles have a hand in your death?"

Snape: "In a way…"

Dumbledore: "How so?"

Snape: "Well, that creepy girl over there chased me until I really had no choice but to jump off a cliff…"

Dumbledore: "Ahahahahahah! Being chased by a fangirl, Severus, I knew it would happen someday!"

Fangirls/guys: exchange glances "well, he is Dumbledore, it only makes sense that he would know about the fan-people…"

Filch: Runs in, falls on the floor, and dies

Party: starts over again

Kozi: Spots Harry about to drink a mountain dew "Don't do it!"

Harry: "huh?"

Kozi: "Don't you know Mountain dew lowers your sperm count!"

Harry: Drops can "WHAT?"

Kozi: Nods wisely

Harry: Backs away slowly

Kozi: is now a ghost with Snape

Sunshine: Spots Kozi's murderer
Captain: "After him!"

Group: Follows Naku—who has suddenly appeared—allover the castle

Kozi: "Come on, lets go home!"

Captain Obliv, Kozi, Davie, and Kaeda: Grabs fairy princess

Fairy Princess: poofs them away, taking Draco and Ron and Hermione and Snape and Sarah with them

EVERYONE: is all at Kozi's home."

Kozi: "To be continued…"

Kozi: forgot to add Keiko and steph

Jessica: Facepalm

Kozi: Is still a ghost

Coming Up in episode five… We really, do not know. It's…er…Sarahs' turn to write, ne?